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Undecided by logjess
Chapter 10 : Chapter 10
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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It had been a week since I told Lily I loved her and I was completely sure of our relationship. She loved me and I loved her and that was all that mattered. Still, I couldn’t help but feel something was wrong. Her mind was constantly wandering and she was always in some sort of intense thought.

“Lily, love.” I murmured. “What wrong?”

As if pulled from a trance, she smiled up at me quickly. She slowly began tracing patterns up and down my arm, making me shiver. I was such a girl sometimes. It was embarrassing.

“Hullo, James.” Lily quietly said as he slid in beside me.

“Hey, guys.” He replied.

Having Lily around James made me uneasy. I knew he liked her, maybe even loved her, but I was her boyfriend and I didn’t want James stealing her away from me.

“So, Evans,” he started, “the marauders are throwing a party this Friday.”

“Is that so?” She said politely. I knew Lily wouldn’t want to go; she was hardly the partying type.

“As a matter of fact, it is so.” James continued. “I was wondering if you were planning on going?”

“Hmm, quite doubtful.” She replied, her quill moving at an inhuman speed.

“Well, Remus is going.” He said, trying to push her buttons.

Her quill stopped and she looked at me. Damn. “You’re going?” She asked, her mouth pulled into a thin line.

“Well, it is a marauder party…” I started.

“Oh.” She looked as if she was contemplating something or figuring out an equation in her head. Whatever it was, she suddenly smirked and said, “maybe I’ll see you there.”

My eyes popped wide open and happiness flashed through James’. “Brilliant.” He said.

“It’s not for your benefit, Potter.”

I looked towards him and his face didn’t falter one bit. “ “Course not.” He said.

Not wanting them to continue their conversation, I bent down towards Lily, my lips positioned at her ear. “Would you like to join me for a walk on the grounds?”

She looked at me, surprised, but smiled and nodded. Every time she did that, I swear my heart skipped a beat.

I rose and offered her my hand. She grabbed it eagerly, making my heart accelerate, and I helped her up.

“Oh, Moony, you’re such the gentleman.” Sirius said as he walked in the portrait hole, pretending to swoon.  

“More so than you.” I retorted smoothly.

“Have fun on your walk.” He called out as we left.

I turned to look at Lily and she was crimson red.


I was fuming. Ever since Sirius found out Remus and I had sex, that’s all he thinks we’re doing. We are civilized human beings, we do not spend all day and night with our clothes off! I huffed and Remus looked over at me, slightly embarrassed himself.

“I’m sorry about Sirius, Lily. I’ll talk to him when I get back tonight.” He stopped me. “Please don’t be upset, I honestly didn’t tell him.”

I looked over at him, feeling guilty myself. I hadn’t meant to make him feel bad. “No, Remus, it’s alright. I wasn’t upset with you and talking to him will most likely make it worse.”

“You’re my girlfriend, though. I should be making you happy.” He mumbled, looking at the ground.

I didn’t say anything for a while, I just looked at him until he faced me again. “I am happy.”

With that, I reached up on my toes and lightly kissed him. He pulled away and smiled as he grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go for an actual walk.” He said, pulling me towards the grounds.

After walking for ten minutes of complete silence, I was about to break down. He had spent the whole time tracing loops and designs up and down my back and arms.

“Let’s sit down.” I suggested, smiling politely. “We need to talk.”

He gulped, clearly nervous. “O-okay.” He mumbled.

Realizing what I had just said, I explained myself further, not wanting him to think anything of it. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no, Remus. I am not breaking up with you. I just actually wanted to talk.”

He sighed, clearly relieved. “Anything you’d like.”

We sat down under a tree and he looked at me expectantly. “Erm, I really didn’t have anything in mind… Did you?”

“What did you do this summer?” He asked.

“Besides think about you?” I asked, smiling.

“Obviously.” He winked.

“Well, I was supposed to study the new texts, but honestly, I didn’t get to them. I don’t really know what I did, come to think of it. I guess I lazed around the house a lot. I barely saw Alice or anyone until we went to buy supplies.” I mused.

“So your summer was only filled with Remus Lupin?” He asked, winking.

I laughed. “Would it be summer without Remus Lupin?” I stopped. “Oh, I guess I saw James, too.”

Curiosity flashed across Remus’ face. “James?” He asked.

I cleared my throat. “Well, he’s pretty much my next door neighbour, Remus. His parents and my parents are almost best friends. They talk to each other all of the time…”

“Hmm.” He thought about this as I wished I could turn invisible and run away. “It shouldn’t make me jealous, should it?”


A smile was playing at his lips, but I had no idea why.  Changing the topic, I asked, “What did you do over the summer?”

“Missed you.” He answered absentmindedly.

“Oh, that must have been loads of fun.”

“Well,” He began. “It did have its benefits.”

“Oh? Like what?” I asked, surprise evident in my voice.

He bent down and suckled at my neck, making my eyes close and my back arch. “I got to think of things like this all of the time.”

He moved his lips up to mine and smiled as I kissed him back. “Really?” I said around his lips. “This kept you occupied all summer?”

“You’d be surprised.” He replied easily.


He lowered me onto the grass and was on top of me, trying not to put too much of his weight on my body. I honestly wouldn’t have cared. I liked feeling his body against mine; it was perfect. His hands were in my hair and his mouth was urgent on mine.

Suddenly, I remembered why we went for the walk. We were supposed to talk. “Remus,” I cautioned as he kissed me harder.

“Hmm?” He asked, continuing to kiss me.

“We were-“ My thoughts trailed off and my mind went blank.

Oh, nevermind… “We were?” He urged, still kissing me.

“We were supposed to talk?” I continued, not really wanting to stop.

“Oh, I guess we were.” Pausing, but only for a short moment, he said, “didn’t we?”

“Well,” I continued. “just because we had sex, I don’t think we should only focus on physical aspects of our relationship.”

Even as I was saying this, I felt my hands move under his shirt and he smiled.

“Should we go back then?” He asked, not stopping whatsoever.

“No,” I sighed as we rolled in the grass.


“I knew she would come if I said Moony was coming!” I said, happily.

“Merlin, Prongs. You’re practically jumping off the walls.” Sirius complained, glaring at me.

“C’mon, Padfoot! She basically agreed to going out with me by going to my party.” I explained, smirking proudly.

Lily was going to be my girlfriend and we were going to get married. I knew it.

“Prongs, that’s really not a date. Especially because it’s a marauders party. There are four of us, one of them being her boyfriend.” He pointed out.

I gritted my teeth. “Bloody hell, Padfoot! I know that and every single time you bring that up, it reminds me that it is your fault.”

He frowned. “Right then, good job, Prongs.”

“Knew you would be able to see it from my point of view sooner or later.” I said, still annoyed.


I pulled away from Remus, grinning. “We are not doing that here.”

“Why not?” He whined.

“You know exactly why.” I snapped, sitting up.

“Well, at least I know you love me.” He said sighing as we walked back inside.


I walked into my dormitory and Alice was sitting there, wide awake.

“Lily!” She squeeled. “Guess what just happened?”

“Um, I’m not sure?” I said, trying to figure out if she had something important going on tonight.

“Frank kissed me!” She stopped, deep in thought. “It was so beautiful. He kissed me gently and, and, and I kissed him back! I have to say, I wanted to drag him into a broom cupboard and snog him, but I thought that was too much for our first date…” She mused.

“Alice,” I giggled. “You’re supposed to have a clear head about these things and not let your hormones get the best of you.”

“Lily, it’s Frank! He likes me. Like, he really likes me and I like him, too! It’s just so perfect right now… I know I sound like and airhead, but I’m just so happy!” She yelled out.

“I’m so happy for you.” I said, walking over to her bed and hugging her.

“Erm, Lily. Why do you have grass on your back?” she asked, picking the bits off of my back.

“Oh, um, I was outside under the trees.” I mumbled, blushing.  

“With Remus?” she asked, a grin stretched across her face.

“Who else?” I asked. Why do people act like I’m a whore? I’ve only ever kissed two people in my whole life. I feel like that qualifies as a nun at this school.

“I was just clarifying!” She said defensively.

“Oh. Well, anyways, tell me more about Frank!”

“Oh, Lily. He is such a gentleman. I really think…”

As Alice continued, I let my thoughts drift.




Hey, guys!! I love hearing all of your thoughts so please review :) It really encourages me to write more 

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