"Yo! I'm Joe! I work in a button factory. I gotta dog and a job and a family. One day my boss said, 'Joe, are you busy?' and I said, 'No'. Push the button with your left butt cheek!" I sung on the top of my lungs.
Matt and Cameron glared at me. I had been making them play Button Factory for over an hour and at that point they looked like they were having full blown (hehehe full blown) seizures in the back seat of their small car.
Matt and Cameron were my best friend Robyn's younger twin brothers and ever since I met them 6 years ago, I had made it my goal to piss them off at much as possible. Hence the loud singing.
"Yeah, we get it, 'Joe'," Robyn said from the front seat and I laughed at the relieved looks on the twins faces.
Robyn's mother was driving us to King's Cross Station where we could catch my favourite train in the world. The Hogwarts Express.
I loved Hogwarts more than my own family. It was awesome. I could run around singing "Ice, Ice Baby" without being judged. Actually that was a bunch of BS. I was always judged. One, because I was loud and disruptive and two, because I was brinking on insanity and no one likes the crazy girl.
The only person that is judged more than me is Penny Jane Willow, the school freak. She will enter a room yelling "Penny Jane Willow has entered" and then she will curtsey for effect. I think she hates me though, considering I tackled her down the Grand Staircase...twice. Once was because Libby Westin from Hufflepuff dared me and then second time was because I thought a cannonball was going to hit her, but it was just a fly.
"So, seventh year, ladies," Matt said. "What do you have planned?"
"Well, naïve Matt, I have something that's called Alicia's Geniusly Genius List of Shit to Do Before Graduation. AGGLOSODBG for short," I replied, grinning mischievously.
"Well, aren't you gonna tell me what's on it?"
"Not if you want me to scar your virgin ears."
"Like the word 'shit' didn't already scar them," Cameron retorted.
"CAMERON PIERRE SWANN! DON'T YOU USE THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE IN MY AUTOMOBILE!" Mrs. Swann shrieked.
She jerked hard on the steering wheel and pulled into the parking lot at King's Cross.
"Goodbye you lot! Have a good time!" Mrs. Swann said waving.
"Goodbye, Mom!" her kids chorused.
"Thanks Mrs. Swann!" I said.
She nodded and pulled away from the curb, leaving is in front of the station.
We push our way through the crowds and finally found the barrier between platforms 9 and 10.
"But I don't like the barrier!" Cameron whined.
"You're 15, just get your ass through the fucking barrier before I kick you," Robyn yelled and Matt pushed his twin through the brick wall.
He saluted to us and strutted through. I decided to be oh-so-funny and sashayed through the barrier backwards. When I made it through I whipped around quickly and smashed right into somebody.
"AH!" the voice yelled.
I loomed down and saw that I had pushed over Albus Potter. Yes, that's right. His name must always be written in bold, italics and underline. Only his full name though, not Albus, Al, Potter or Captain Potter.
"Oh...uh..." I stammered and he smiled.
"Tough landing, hey?" he said.
"I—Er—yeah. I wasn't paying attention, sorry," I apologized.
"Yeah, that's fine. So what's your name?" he asked.
I panicked. My name? Did I have one? My mind went blank and I noticed Robyn waiting for me near the train.
"See ya!" I said unnecessarily loud and ran away.
Yep, I am the definition of smooth. I didn't turn around as he called after me.
"Is that Albus Potter?" Robyn asked.
"Yes! Now just go before he catches up!"
We hid in one of the compartments and I explained to Robyn what happened.
"And you ran away? From Albus Potter? You're such a nut!" she said waving her arms about.
"I panicked. I wasn't even sure that I had a name!"
She sighed and turned to the corridor. Her eyes widened.
"It's him and him!"
"Kerfy and Albus."
Kerfy was our Super Secret Code Name (SSCN) for Mike Hill, Robyn's one love, her one heart, her one light, for sure.
"Aw fuck. Go talk to him! I'm pretty sure that he likes you!"
"Only if you go."
"Albus thinks I'm a freak."
"You don't know that."
"You don't know that he doesn't!"
She rolled her eyes, "We're going! Now!"
She stood up and pushed me out of the compartment, causing my head to slam into Kerfy and Al's door.
The looked up and laughed as my head collided with the glass. I stood up, head pounding. Robyn was still sitting in the other compartment, laughing her ass off as the two boys stared at me. I pulled her out and knocked on the opposite compartments door. Al nodded and I walked in.
"Er...you okay?" Albus asked. I could tell from his voice that he was trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," I said and glared at him, he smiled.
"Hey, Robyn!" Mike said extra excitedly with a touch of love.
"Hey," she relied with the same amount of gushing enthusiasm.
"Awwwwww!" I said a little too loudly and a little too not inside my head.
The lovebirds didn't seem to notice, but Albus sure did. He looked at suspiciously and I tried not to make eye contact.
"What was that?" he said quietly in my ear. Shivers.
"I was gonna say, 'Awwwwwwwww man! I dropped my favourite cat pen on the hall, I better go fetch it!'." I said the last part loud enough for all of them to hear and I stood up and was ready to leave before I realized that Albus wasn't catching on. "Hey, Albus? Can you come help me?"
"Uh...sure," he followed me out into the hall. "So where did you last see it?"
I smacked his arm, "Ow! What was that for?"
"This isn't about a stupid at pen that meows when I write the word cat and dances when I meow, this is about Robyn and Mike! The lovebirds!" I whispered.
"OH! That makes sense!" he replied and I rolled my eyes.
"Now let's find another compartment," I pulled him down the hallway and into the last compartment on the train.
"So, what's your name anyway? You kind of ran off when I asked last time..." he asked.
"Alicia," I stuck my hand out. "Alicia Remington."
"I think I saw you at the Quidditch World Cup! You're a broomstick gymnast, right?"
I smiled, "Yeah, I finally went pro last summer."
Broomstick gymnastics was a sport where you performed flips, jumps and other gymnast-y stuff while midair on a broomstick. It was very difficult but I had finally made the International team last summer.
We chatted about my abilities for a while, but then it sunk in. I was talking to him! Him! Albus Potter! The one with gorgeous green eyes and nice muscles and hair! I began to have an inner panic attack and I told him that I had to go and I ran out of the compartment freaking out. Fuck! I was speaking to him with words! What is my issue? (Got an issue? Grab a tissue!) I can't even speak to him about my broomstick gymnastics without my brain imploding on itself! My life is horrible.
I went back to my original compartment and looked over. I saw Robyn and Mike holding hands...FINALLY! OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR LIKE A YEAR AND TWO LIMES! I grinned at the newbie couple. At least life works for some people.
After hours of sitting by myself, the train lurched to a stop and I hurried off the train.
“Alicia!” Robyn called. “Did you have fun with Albus?”
She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled, waiting for an answer.
“Bad. Well it was good and then I realized, so it turned bad and I fled and you two were all ‘oooooh’ so I couldn’t and then I sat alone!”
There was a few seconds of silence….
“What? That made no sense. Calm down and explain.”
“Okay, so we were in the compartment and he recognized me from the International Broomstick Gymnastics Team, because we performed at the Quidditch World Cup and he asked me about that and we were talking fine and then my brain figured out that I was talking to the Albus Potter
and I freaked out. He thinks I’m a creeper now. A creeper that likes falling a lot.”
“It’ll be okay! Hey! I’ve got an idea!”
“No! NO NO NO NO NO!” I said panicking.
Robyn’s ideas always ended with me in detention or in the hospital wing with a new growth shaped like Abe Lincoln. There was this one time that I was supposed to eat Penny Jane Willow’s sandwich and it turned out that James Potter, Albus’ older and creepier brother, had put a hex on it and I was orange for a week. And then Robyn tripped me down three flights of stairs. Nothing ever goes right for me.
“It’s okay. You can fly like a G6, right?”
“I guess I’m pretty beast.”
“Try out for Quidditch! Albus is captain this year and he knows how well you can fly! You’ll make it for sure!” she said, proud of her non-lethal plan.
“Maybe you should, too…”
“Hell no! Colton ‘Creepy Boy’ Shultz is captain and he’d just stalk me the whole time.”
“I forgot your stalker…how is he?” I asked.
“He’s good, trust me…he lets me know every single day.”
“Awwwww, Creepy Boy!”
Robyn smacked me across the head. That was my third injury today…so far. I sighed and looked up at the large school. I was gonna make this year count…and it would all start with Alicia’s Geniusly Genuis List of Shit to Do Before Graduation.