To be honest I had been completely in love with James Potter my whole entire life I never ever imagined that he and I were just not meant to be. And I certainly never imagined that his best friend would instead be the one to pick up the pieces when I eventually fell apart.
I never thought he would be the one to hold my heart, but now looking back he was the one who came around with the cheery laughs and the contagious smiles and sat with me all through the night helping me study for an exam that I missed, or bringing me cake from the kitchens when I was ill or helping me sneak past a clingy ex. He had always been there, acting his part, playing the best friend. He had always remembered my birthday, and always waved or winked when I passed in the corridors.
And now, when I sit on the floor and stare into space, it’s not James’s face that comes to mind, leaving me dizzy and love sick. It’s him. And he’s the one who puts his arms around me, kissing the top of my head in that lovable way that he does and whispering ‘guess who?’ into my ear.
I turn around and kiss his cheek, it means nothing to either of us, it never does when you’re good friends, but secretly I hope for something more. How can I press him with all my worries, how can I give in when there’s so much more behind our story. And I forget everything just because he puts his arms around me.
I couldn’t tell you how many times he had been there for me when I needed it. How many times he’d found me on the astronomy tower, broken and weak, barely able to move or speak. How many times he’d told me he’d hold me all night if it made me feel better. Truth is he’s always the one I’m waiting for when I’m about to jump. I can’t decide if his saving me is for better or for worse, but there’s always part of me hoping he knows what runs through me head. Always a part that knows he understands.
It was now when all the “Problems,” were just beginning to go away, that I needed him most. Now that I was losing James, now that I was as alone as ever.
I didn’t know how Fred found it so easy to understand me, we just did. Me and him... we just fit!
***
On days like these when the sun is shining and I feel it’s warm glow surround me, I don’t see the point in lessons. I sit outside and bask in the light and hope that somehow it will melt away everything that ever went wrong.
I lie in the grass and await the tall shadow to fall over me. It always does, he always knows when I’m out here... and I heard his footsteps coming closer.
He lies down next to me and places his hands on top of mine. I know he’s staring at me but I just sit up and gaze across the black lake.
‘Roisia?’ he wheedles playfully, edging closer until I can feel his breath on my neck.
‘Freddie,’ I copy his tone of voice and lean back against him.
Fred is a Weasley, of course James would be best friends with his cousin, what else did anyone expect. But for me Fred’s just Fred, not the one always outshined by his cousins and friends.
‘Liking the sun, love?’ he asks. ‘Mmm,’ I sigh in response.
I bend my head and look up at him. He doesn’t have red Weasley hair, unless you look closely. It’s more brown and his skin in more tanned. His hair flops in his face over the only Weasley trait he owns, the brilliant blue eyes.
He pinches my nose and slips his arms around me, in a moment I find myself on his lap in fitfulls of laughter being tickled to my very death and doom.
And then his face is so close I could kiss him. The strangest thing is I want to, I want to press my lips onto his and know that it’s all ok. But that’s never going to happen. I’ll never love anyone like that, not Fred or James or anyone.
But he wraps his arms around me and I’m home.
Random little one shot that I thought of at some very late hour of the night. Anyways, I would love to hear some constructive cristisism and hope you enjoy!
Char
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