Chapter 10 : Chapter Ten
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A/N: Nothing belongs to me. Enjoy =)
"Love, what's wrong?" Louis asked desperately. "Did someone do something to her?" he demanded of Dom. "Because I will kill them."
I'd tried not to let the nightmares and the flashbacks get to me.
It seems I failed miserably.
We had free period second, and Danny went to the bathroom. Louis and Dom went to the kitchens and came back to find me hugging my knees to my chest and crying my eyes out in an arm chair in a cozy corner of the Gryffindor Common Room.
I just kept thinking back to my nightmares, and I got so wound up and scared and upset so quickly that it came as a shock to even me.
The Common Room had been empty apart from me, but I didn't want to talk to anyone who might come in so I went to sit in a faded red armchair snuggled in the far corner of the room behind a book case.
There was a sofa opposite of it, and another armchair that had it's back against the bookcase so it faced forwards.
We tended to come here if we didn't want to be with anyone else.
Louis had practically jumped on me when he found me crying. He was livid at basically anything he could see that wasn't me as if it had made me cry.
"How should I know?" Dom asked defensively. "I was with you, dumbshit."
"Well is there anyone out there?" he asked.
She poked her head out from behind the bookcase. "Just Henry Thornton."
"Did he upset you, Emma?"
I shook my head rapidly.
"I bet Dan knows what's going on. He's probably lost somewhere. I'll go get him-"
"NO!" Louis shouted. "She'll be fine. We can't leave her!"
"I'll stay with her then. Or you can since you'll probably end up flushing his head down a toilet or- wait a minute! Emma, is it Dan? Is it something about Dan that's upset you?"
My eyes grew wide. "N-n-no! He d-d-did-d-dn't do anyth-th-thing!" I tried to get out but my voice was so small I wasn't heard as the cogs in Louis's very small brain turned and he decided that because Danny was his enemy, it must have been his fault, regardless of whether Dan's my best friend or not.
He stood up quickly. "I'll sort the fuckin tosser out-"
Just at that moment, Danny came around the corner. He stopped in his tracks as he took us in - me crying, Louis fuming and Dom worrying.
"What the fuck happened?"
"What did you do?" Louis demanded, marching towards Danny.
"What did I do? I only just got back! Get out of my way! Emma, what happened?"
"Well we came back to find her crying!" Louis cried accusingly.
"Came back?" Danny repeated in a low voice. "Where did you go? Where did you go when I specifically said don't leave her alone?!" Danny's voice had slowly raised to a shout. "She passed out this morning! What if that happened again and no one was there to make sure she was okay?! Now get out of my way."
Louis did, stunned at the realisation of his mistake. Dan scooped me up into a bear hug. "We don't have to stay here. We can go back to your dorm - just me and you. Or you and Scorp. You know he'll come out of lessons for you-"
"Is she sick? Is that why she passed out? But she'd heal herself... Unless it's something serious! Merlin, tell us what's wrong, Emma! You're not dying are you?"
I let out a watery chuckle at Dom's frantic question.
"No," I sighed lifting my head. "I'm not sick and I'm not dying. I'm just having a bad day."
"A bad day is messy hair, missing breakfast and spilling ink on your potions essay. Not passing out before first lesson and crying in your free period," Dom said, frowning.
"This has happened before, remember?"
"You mean when you blacked out and had to go to the hospital wing?" Louis asked, panicking.
"Well I was thinking of more toned down times. Like when I fainted near the lake last year, remember?"
"I thought that was because of heat."
Dammit. I could've gotten away with that.
"...Yes. It was. I'm just saying that... sometimes... I faint! And, you know, cry and stuff..." I trailed off unsurely.
Dom opened her mouth, but the bell rang at the same time.
"You sure you wanna do this?" Dan murmered.
"Yeah. I'll be fine."
Of course, I was wrong.
I could feel the panic building up inside me.
Every time I blinked I saw little snippets of things.
Dad. Mum. Scorp. Blood. Tears.
I heard little snippets of things.
Shouting. Screaming. Swearing. Crying. Begging. Banging.
I was about to tell Proffessor McGonagall that I had to leave when she adressed me.
"-You're Father was very good at this spell, Miss Malfoy, though he wasn't the best in the class. But he had this spell mastered."
She turned away from where I sat near the back, oblivious to my panicked face. I gasped as visions of my Father completely overtook my sight.
I tried to stand, to make an exit from the class, but it was as if my legs were made of jelly.
They shook violently and I collapsed to the floor.
I heard the crash and felt a pain through my hip as I banged into the table and then another as I fell on my other hip, my equipment falling with me and breaking around me, apart from the books, which hit the side of my face.
I winced, but was too disorientated to cry out. I heard gasps and shouts. I heard people calling my name.
Danny's voice was the closest and I saw a blurred figure that I assumed to be him very close to my face. I felt someone or something shaking me slightly, but I couldn't focus any longer and I slipped into the blackness that would become a nightmare...
It's too dark.
I like the dark. I really do.
I've seen black outs in the city. I was in Danny's house for one. I think they're magical (ironically, since if it blacked out here the lights would be on with a flick of Mum's wand).
But this is wrong.
Something bad is going to happen.
We don't really use electricity much. We have candles and lanterns.
If they went out someone would've put them back on by now.
I don't understand.
I hear footsteps on the landing outside my room and my breath catches in my throat.
I really hope it's not Dad.
Whoever it is is running.
In a panicked moment, I decide to hide and jump under my bed, moving some boxes in front of me as quietly as I can.
My door creaks open, and I hear two soft steps.
With another creak, the door has closed.
I hold my breath.
"Emerald?" I hear someone whisper and I sigh in relief.
I move the boxes out of the way and he bends down in front of me, an expression of confusion turning into a small smile. I can barely see him in the almost blackness.
It must be around midnight, and there's no light from the window whatsoever. There are thick, grey clouds covering whatever dim light the moon could provide. The stars that are peeking out between the clouds seem tiny, a million miles further away than the ones that could light up the sky a little.
"What're you doing?" he asks.
"What's going on?" I ask, crawling out and completely ignoring his question.
He frowns, looking worried. "I don't know. Mum should've put the lights back on by now. I wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Do you think Dad did it?" I whisper, scared to even utter the words in case my father apparated into my room and attacked me or something.
"I dunno," he says, shrugging. "Why hasn't there been any noise yet?"
I stop thinking about how it's too dark for a minute and focus on something else entirely - something I can't believe I missed.
I hold my breath once again, listening. The only sound in the house is of the quiet thrumming of my heart beat in my ears.
"This isn't right," I whisper, shaking my head. "Something's wrong. He never does this. I- He- Scorp, what happened?" I ask slightly frantically, my voice still no more than a whisper.
"Maybe..." he mutters, looking for an explenation to calm himself as much as me, I guess. "Maybe Mum's already managed to calm Dad down and she doesn't want to disturb him. We should give it some time."
"I don't wanna just stay here, Scorp. It doesn't feel safe," I say shakily.
"I know," he says, letting fear bleed into his voice, because him pretending to be made out of iron will do nothing to help his nerves or mine. But he hugs me and we sit on my bed together, still embracing tightly.
"Just give it... ten minutes. Ten minutes and I'll go and look-"
"We'll go and look," I correct him firmly.
"Emerald, it might not be safe-"
"So you would go and get hurt? What good would that do for anyone?" I cry.
"You can't get hurt, Emma. You can't get hurt again. The other week, you- you could've died and I-" his voice caught in his throat and tears quickly swam into his eyes. He blinked and they fell onto my hands, that he was holding as he looked down.
"And what if that happened to you?" I say quietly, my voice low and shaking with tears I try not to shed. "It's happened before, Scorpious. If I lost you, I would lose my life, okay? I would die. Because I can't live without you. So you're not going anywhere without me. You're not going to leave me. You promised me. You promised me you wouldn't."
He looks up and into my eyes, doing that special Scorpious thing where he can read me. Read what I think. Read what I feel.
Finally he nods. "I keep my promises. And you're right. I did promise that I'll never leave you. And I won't."
"Me either. Promise," I say in a voice as small as a child's.
He smiles slightly and presses a kiss onto my head. "Shall we go then?"
"What's that?" he asks.
"Don't let go of my hand."
"I won't. I promise."
With that we leave my room together. We are on our tiptoes, going slowly so as to be as quiet as possible.
We reach the ground floor, and, squeezing my hand for confidence, Scorp braves a whisper. "Mother?"
We listen for any sort of response, but there isn't one.
I signal for us to move through the house and we do this just as quietly as before.
We get to the lounge just before the dining room and stop suddenly.
There are voices in the dining room.
We move if possible slower and quieter than before until our ears are pressed against the door.
"Draco, you're not thinking straight! It's me! It's me, Draco! Astoria! No one else!"
"SILENCE!" he shouts and I jump. "You have corrupted my life, Bellatrix. You've ruined it! You, and my parents and the Dark Lord, and I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of you or Voldermort. I am not afraid of pain. I am not afraid of death. Because pain is all there is. And why fear death if what you're living is barely a life? And yet, you fear death, do you not, Bella? You fear it, though you are a sick being, and do not deserve life. Can a life devoted to pain and suffering and torture and prejudice be called a life at all? Can someone who devotes themselves to what you have done be called a human? You're not, after all. You're a meer monstrosity. The way you go around spitting on what you call filth - THAT IS NOT WHAT I CALL FILTH!" he roared suddenly. "THAT IS WHAT I CALL LIFE! AND YOU ARE THE FILTH!"
"DRACO, IT'S ME! BELLATRIX LESTRANGE IS DEAD. I AM ASTORIA MALFOY. YOU'RE WIFE! I'M YOUR WIFE, DRACO!"
There is a loud noise, like a slap to the face, and mother lets out a scream. Suddenly, her voice sounds more terrified than ever. "Draco please," she says quietly, her words stumbling into each other in her frightened state. "Please. I'm your wife. Astoria Malfoy, I love you and you love me. The children - Draco, we have two children, Scorpious and Emerald. You named them. Do you remember? They love you, too, Draco. We all love you here. We're not going to hurt you," she sounds as if she's pleading with him.
"Astoria," he says quietly.
"Yes, Draco! Yes, it's me!"
"Astoria, you knew this was going to happen. You knew," he whispers softly. "I have to die, Astoria."
An icy feeling spreads through me. His voice is so disturbed. What he is saying is disturbed too.
And I don't understand.
My knees go weak so I sit down quietly, hoping not to fall. Scorpious does the same thing.
"Yes," she eventually, sounding reproachful, and I hold back a gasp. "But you got better, Draco-"
"But you knew I would kill myself. You knew it would happen one day."
"We have a happy life, Draco."
"It's not safe, Astoria! IT'S NOT SAFE, GODDAMMIT! THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSE! THE BOY - THE FRIEND OF SCORPIOUS, HE'S HARRY POTTER'S SON! HIS AUNT WAS TORTURED IN THIS HOUSE! DOES HE KNOW?!"
"YES! HE KNOWS! I HAVE SPOKEN WITH HARRY POTTER! NO ONE CARES, DRACO! NO ONE HAS FORGOTTEN THE WAR, BUT WE HAVE ALL FORGOTTEN THE HATE! WHAT GOOD IS IT TO MOPE IN THE TRAGEDIES AND SORROW OF A WAR THAT IS IN THE PAST?!"
"I tried to kill Albus Potter's father, and uncle, and aunt. I watched my aunt torture Hermione Granger. I attempted to kill the man the boy is named after! I am sick, and I always will be."
"We're talking, Darling," Mother says in a low voice. "We are talking as husband and wife right now! You're better!"
"I'm leaving, Astoria. I know what I did. I saw it last night. I know what I did to Emerald."
"You can't leave Draco. It's not safe. I need to watch you. You need to be protected from yourself!"
"You can not care for me in a house with children, Astoria. I'm leaving."
"Draco, you don't understand. If you go, the children, they'll die."
My heart stops pumping in my chest. It was as if someone had grabbed my throat but I felt no pain. As if I were being suffocated by nothing at all.
"You know that I'm not strong enough to stay sane, Draco. Not without you. I go back too. I go back to the past when I hurt people and when I did the most sickening, evil things. And there are times when I must walk away from the children to stop myself from hurting them and remind myself that the past is the past and I could do none of it if it weren't for you."
"Exactly. You live off my insanity. You mustn't do that anymore."
"You can't leave me, Draco!"
"I hurt you, Astoria."
"I can't live without you."
"I can't live. I'm sorry, Astoria. I love you, but this is goodbye."
There is silence. My heart beat hammers in my ears.
Suddenly, it sounds like there is a sturggle. Father yelps as does Mother, and she begins to shriek.
"NO, DRACO! I WON'T STAND HERE AND LET YOU! I'LL SHOOT MYSELF! I'LL SHOOT MYSELF TOO!"
"There's only one bullet," he says softly.
There is an almighty bang and my hands fly to my ears. Mother screams and on instinct we run into the room to see her on the floor. There is blood seeping through her top. She's been shot in the stomach.
Father is staring down at her in horror. We run to her just as he disapparates.
Did he shoot her?
Did she shoot herself?
Will she live?
"Mother, tell us the spell! I'm sure we can do it!" Scorpious begs.
"No," she says weakly. "I'm sorry, children. I didn't want it to come to this. But this is what it is. If you're father comes back, stay away from him until he leaves again. Then you should be safe. You'll have to take care of one another from now on."
"No, Mother," I cry, tears falling down my face. "We can heal you!"
"You mustn't! You might have a chance at a life from now on! Your father and I weren't stable enough. You can live now, and not fear coming home. It's safer with the both of us dead."
"You don't need me or your father. We could've killed you so many times. Now you'll be safer and everything will be less complicated. You two have always been inseperable and I know you always will be, and that's all you need. Each other."
She touches her wound and lets out a cry of pain before her eyes flicker shut.
With that, my eyes flew open and immediately I saw Scorpious's worried face. The ceiling above him was white.
We were in the hospital wing.
This is why I don't like passing out in class.
People totally spas.
If I fainted in the Common Room someone'd just take me to my dorm.
"Oh, thank Merlin," sighed Scorpious, though his voice still sounded panicked. "Emma? Emma, darling, can you hear me?"
I sat up slowly but was pushed back down gently.
"Don't do that," he said softly, smiling sadly at me. "You might be a bit dizzy. What happened, Em?"
I sighed. "I don't know. I- I got dizzy, and I tried t- to walk out and then-"
He reached over and wiped something wet off my face, and I realised I was crying. I looked down at my arm, where the charm had worn off, and a long scar was visible all the way down my upper arm. I looked away, almost sickened and up at Scorpious.
"Why did she die?" I asked him quietly, though I knew he didn't know the answer.
He sat on my bed and pulled me into his arms, cradling me in his lap. I curled up to his chest.
"Because if she didn't that could've happened again," he said, stroking the scar, and looking away quickly, a violent flash in his eyes.
In all honesty, I was better off with Scorpious, and I loved him more than my parents. More than anyone.
But when my parents went away, the memories didn't.
They'll never go away.
And all scars, physical and mental, stay forever.
A/N: NOTHING BELONGS TO ME! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and added Secrets Can't Be Secrets Forever to their favourites. It means a LOT. I am going to write a chapter to explain how Emerald got her scar, but that may not be for a while. There's a lot more to come in this story, so please stay interested! Please review to let me know what you think and add to your favourites, or y'know, don't, if you don't like it... ANYWAY thanks for reading! xx
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