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Crash and Burn by SayaEvange
Chapter 1 : Why Did I Even Wake Up?
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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Sirius Black. That name alone sends chills through most females, let alone what his body can do to them. For the females in Hogwarts, Sirius Black is the most common subject for, well, everything. He is the one thing that connects all the girls together. Half of the girls have been with him and the other half are more than ready to have their chance. Lily Evans and Black’s cousins are really the only girls who don’t fall into that category. Oh, and the professors of course. Unfortunately, I do fall into one of those groups and even more unfortunately, I am in that first half.

I am Nienna Ladden, a Gryffindor seventh year who was foolish enough to let Sirius Black take advantage of me when I was 15 and not at all ready for what happened. At the time, I thought that I was really in love with him and that he was the only guy for me, but what did I know? Up until that day I had never even been kissed. Well, I was obviously mistaken and I don’t need to say why.

After that day, things went back to normal between us. No, they went back to normal for him. It was still very awkward for me, but I got over it. So, despite all that happened between us, we went back to the partial friendship we always had. Except, I didn’t really get over it.


“Nienna Ladden, get your lazy arse out of bed already!” Lily Evans screamed from somewhere outside of my curtained bed. I silently cursed her for being such a ‘helpful and caring’ friend. If she really wanted to be ‘helpful and caring’ then she should just leave me alone. “Nienna!”

I groaned loudly and rolled off my bed and onto the floor. “Lils,” I whined. “I don’t want to go to class today.” I looked around to see my best friend running her brush through her deep red locks and a mild twinge of jealousy caught me. I always wished I had hair like hers. I looked down at my own limp brown hair. It was so not fair.

“Nen, you never want to go to classes.”

“Yeah, well, this is different,” I retorted, rising off the floor. I stumbled to my chest sitting at the end of my bed.

“And how is that?”

I shrugged and dug through my trunk for a clean uniform. I pulled out my clothes and started to change, wondering why girls had to wear skirts. My skirts never managed to fit me well. They always seemed way too long and made me look like a little girl playing dress-up with her mum’s clothes.

Just as I pulled off my pajama pants, one of our roommates burst through the door. A loud whistle sounded through the room.

“Woohoo, that’s what I like to see!”

“Oh shut it, Carrie!” I yelled, not happy to have to put up with her teasing so early in the morning.

“C’mon, Nen, it’s a beautiful day, no need to be so crabby.” Carrie swept her hand through my hair before bouncing into her own bed.

“I’d lower the energy if I were you, Care. Nienna’s in a right foul mood.” Lily stepped in front of the floor length mirror, admiring herself.

“Stop primping, Lils,” Carrie scolded, earning a glare from the redhead. “What’s wrong with you, Nen?”

“Nothing,” I growled. I just wanted to get out of there now. Forget about it being a bad day; I just needed to get away from my two best friends. I shoved my books into my bag and pulled on my shoes.

“Hurry up so we can go to breakfast,” Carrie told Lily.

“I just need to get my books. Nienna, don’t forget to brush your teeth again,” Lily said just as I was heading to the door. I groaned and turned around, mumbling under my breath about how I didn’t need another mother.

“I’m only reminding you so you don’t have another embarrassment like last year,” Lily announced in her ‘caring friend’ tone.

I grumbled some more and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Once finished, I went back out and found Lily trying to do Carrie’s hair, but Care was fighting her.

“Oi! Look Lily, I like my hair the way it is.”

“But it would look so cute if you just…”

“Hey, it’s time to go,” I interrupted. Lily reluctantly let go of Carrie’s hair and the two of them followed me out of our dormitory, still arguing.


I left the Great Hall before my friends, wanting some time by myself before class. I decided to just walk around the school. I knew I was going to miss this place. I walked around lost in my thoughts and not paying attention to where I was going.

It seemed like just yesterday I was getting my Hogwarts letter. I was so excited that I was finally going to be able to go to school with my big brother, even if it would only be for my first year. I just wanted to be away from my house and those memories.

I shook my head, trying to stop my mind from wandering down those paths again. I stopped and looked out a window. It was drizzling and windy and the leaves were changing color. It was so dreary out; I knew I didn’t want to be out of bed today. It was just like eleven years ago…

“What are you doing here, Nen?” A strong voice tore me from my thoughts. I didn’t need to look around to know who it was. My heart skipped.

 “Nothing,” I answered and turned around to face the one and only Sirius Black. Boy was he gorgeous. It wasn’t in a pretty boy way either. He was gorgeous in the tough, strong, mischievous kind of way. The kind of gorgeous every girl dreams of and every Daddy has nightmares about. It should be a crime for him to look that good.

He grinned down at me, showing his pearly white teeth. “Did you get my note?”

“What note?” I asked confused.

His grey eyes stared into my blue ones.

“The note I sent to you last night.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “It told of how your beauty haunts my dreams.”

I could feel my heart speed up and I had to push him away, his grin never faded. “Sirius Black, you are a liar.”

He moved to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear and leaned against the wall, looking at me. “And you, Nienna Ladden, are a wretched tease.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not in the mood to deal with you today, Black.”

He looked at me, the teasing glint quickly leaving his eyes. “Princess,” he started, a hint of concern in his voice. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going through that beautiful mind of yours.”

“It’s nothing, okay? It’s just a bad day, that’s all.” His gaze pierced me. He knew that I was lying and I knew that he wouldn’t leave me be until he found out what was going on.

“Nienna.” That was all he had to say and my no-good defenses started to break. He knew exactly how to make me give in to him and, after all this time, I still couldn’t stop him.

“Sirius, don’t,” I began, trying to hold on to my diminishing strength.

His hand gently grazed my own and I was done for.

I buried my head in his chest as his strong arms crossed behind my back and we stood there for what seemed to be hours. He softly whispered sweet lyrics in my ear and I felt as close to him as I had that one day in fifth year.

“Sirius, what are you doing?” a high-pitched voice brought me back to reality and I quickly jumped away from him. I looked to see Sarah Hart, the most popular and best-looking girl in school. With her bleach blonde hair and perfect body, all the guys craved her. Oh, and she also happens to be my roommate and Sirius Black’s current girlfriend.

“Hey, Sarah.” His eyes glanced her over approvingly. “You’re looking sexy.”

“Don’t change the subject. What were you two doing? I demand an answer.”

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “It was nothing, Sarah. You see, Sirius has this umm…cough. He was complaining about it and I was trying to see if I could hear any wheezing or anything when he breathed.”

I could feel him staring at me and she looked at me like I was a moron. I knew she didn’t believe me.

“Nienna, do I have to teach you everything?” She said condescendingly. “You can’t hear the wheezing with your bare ear! You have to use that one deal to hear it. You know, the one that Muggle doctors use.”

It was my turn to stare in utter disbelief. From beside me, I heard Sirius muffle a laugh.

“Well, I have to go to class now. I’ll see you later, Siri,” her voice was thick as honey. She made to go kiss him, but stopped herself. “I can’t kiss you if you’re sick.” Quickly, she spun around and started back down the hall. When she was far enough away, Sirius burst out laughing.

“Your girlfriend is awfully dumb.”

He looked at me with a huge grin on his face. “I’m not with her for her brain.”

“That’s right. You’re only with girls for heated snogging sessions and five minute sex,” I scowled.

He made a face. “First off, I’m not just with girls for physical pleasure and second, it’s much longer than five minutes.” He paused for a moment as if reliving his sexual experiences. “You of all people should know that.”

My jaw clenched. I couldn’t believe that he said that.

“As I recall,” He moved close to me, his body touching mine and his hands gently rubbed my arms. His eyes were all over me and I noticed a growing look of lust in them. “We spent hours exploring each other; kissing here,” his lips grazed the bit of skin showing above my shirt, “caressing there.” One of his hands moved from my arm and made its way to my waist; his fingers moved down to the edge of my shirt and started to slip underneath.

I shoved him as hard as I could, sending him against the wall. My face was hot and my breathing heavy. I glared at the smirking boy in front of me, wanting badly to shove him out of the window. “You are a bloody arse, Sirius Black! Why don’t you just shove off and leave me alone!” Before he could say anymore, or stop me, I stomped off. The sound of my steps echoed off the walls. I couldn’t believe him. He was…ugh! Words could not describe him.

Angry and embarrassed, I made my way back to Gryffindor Tower. I hadn’t wanted to go to class that morning anyways and, in any case, I definitely didn’t want to be in the same room as that horrible git. Once I reached my room, I flung my bag across it, sending all of my stuff flying. I didn’t care. I stomped to my bed and pulled my pillow over my head and screamed into it.

Why the hell did I get up this morning?

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