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Royalty by Paltischa
Chapter 3 : The WotterLufoyManderBottoms.
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 7

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A/N: Something weird is happening to me. I’m losing my memory. It’s shocking. I come up with such interesting plot lines in my head and then when I begin to write, I can’t remember a single one. But not to worry. I’m fully planning to consult a doctor soon. I'm planning to have it sorted faster than you can say 'This chapter is so weird and abrupt and did she like write it in her sleep and I wanna read manga and Sherlock Holmes.'



And the creepy guy was back. What is his deal? I think he is one of Hermione's nephews. Hermione has a lot of nephews and nieces. I guess the commoners mate more often than I'd thought.

The creepy guy slunk up to me, the third time today, and lasted a whole one minute before Jacob dragged him away by the ear.

Wow. A whole minute. A new record for both the creep and my keepers.

I was at the party. Yes, I was being stared at quite a bit but like a good and attractive royal I wasn't fazed by it. In fact, I would often wave at them just to assure them that they were being appreciated and not altogether ignored. Some of them were so moved by my glowing presence that they were moved to tears. I could see their frames shaking as they covered their faces with their hands and cried.

Anyway, I’m quite angry with Hermione. See, I absolutely acknowledge the fact that I'm no longer entitled to my princess-y privileges but that does not mean that I should not be told about the dress code in advance. I mean, just look around! Almost everyone here is wearing a red hair wig! They all have red hair! Except of course a few people who, like me, didn't get a memo.

I just asked Albert if we'd actually got a memo and if we had, had he by any chance misplaced it. He said he hadn’t got any memo and asked me what memo am I talking about. I told him it’s quite obvious. He said it isn’t. I pointed to a girl who was passing us by and motioned at her hair. The girl looked pleased with my attentions towards her and blushed a fiery red, storming away, probably to get a camera.

"Albert, be serious. Why wasn't I told about the dress code?" I asked him again.

Albert looked around. Almost everybody wore dress robes but other than that there was nothing common in the guests' attire.

"What dress code, Your Highness?" He asked me, slightly puzzled.

"They are all wearing red coloured wigs!" I said in a slightly exasperated tone.

Well, I couldn’t help it. It isn’t my fault that these men can’t notice the obvious.

Jacob started to laugh and Albert joined in.

The nerve! Although their laughter is a bit catchy...

"Stop laughing!" I yelled, laughing myself.

But they did not stop and neither did I. I was laughing quite hard I suppose. I almost didn’t notice how hard until a hard object slammed into me from the behind.

I fell (DONT TELL MY MOTHER. MY LACK OF GRACE WILL NEARLY KILL HER) and a strong pair of hands grabbed my upper arms to prevent me from becoming an Omelet A La Princess right there in the front lawn of the burrow.

I was placed upright by Jacob and Albert who had now realized that they were on duty. About time, gentlemen.

I turned around to glare at my violent attacker and have him banished to the county jail.

I was met by a pair of stormy, grey eyes that almost rendered me speechless.


"Do watch where you walk, young man," I said and turned away, ready to witness my keepers drag him all the way to the good ol' jail.

"Young man?" I heard the attacker say in an amused tone.

I ignored him and looked to my keepers.

Wait, where are my keepers?

I look around for them and saw them chatting away with a middle aged man and his wife. The middle aged man, like me, hadn't got the red hair memo either for he had raven black (extremely messy) hair. The wife was wearing a wing. Hmm. Interesting.

Maybe the man was rebelling! Although I am quite against acts of rebellion of all kinds from the common public, I am ready to be a part of this gentleman's rebellion against extremely real looking ginger wigs.

That's it!

I have found my social cause of the year! Petitioning against red coloured wigs!

Mother is highly charitable, just like the queens before her, and has always encouraged me to pick up a social cause to promote every year ever since I was thirteen. Let me tell you, 'Buy Princess Lizzie a new Pony' campaign was highly successful.

Somebody tapped me on the shoulder.

I hate being tapped on the shoulder. It’s so very annoying and the Duchess of York loves to do it.

I turned around to face my attacker. I frowned. What does he want, now?

"Yes?" I asked.

"Hi," He said, grinning down at me.

Okay, can somebody tell me why everybody in the wizarding world is completely insane? Is it all the magic? Is it the lack of government funded primary education? Why is it so full of imbeciles?

"Hi..." I said, inching slowly towards Jacob and Albert.

"I'm James," He said, mimicking my movements.


I mean, Darn it.

"That’s nice," Gah, why weren’t Jacob and Albert looking here? Can’t they see my hand signals??

"And you are?"


"Nice to meet you, Busy."

Ha. A joker. Nice.

You know who else has a sense of humour? Farooq El Abar, that’s who. Yes, The same Farooq El Abar whose yatch I could be lounging on this very second if my father hadn’t been put under the imperious curse.

"Ha ha. Aren’t you funny." I was still looking at J and A and I could sense that this James fellow was getting impatient with my ignorance.

"Are you from Beauxbatons?" He asked me. Wow. Somebody was desperate for a conversation.




"Durmstrang?" He asked, his grin widening.

"Isn't that a boy's school?" A female voice said from behind me.

"Go away, Rosy. I’m entertaining our guest," James said to her, shoving her slightly.

"Boring her, by the looks of it," She retorted.

I had to laugh at that. I really did. Especially when the James chap blushed a very attractive red.

Did I say attractive? I meant feminine.

Geez, what is this place doing to me.

"Hi, I'm Rose. This is my very annoying cousin James. So sorry about him. We reckon he was adopted or at the very least dropped on his head in his primary years. It is quite a tragedy."

I laughed again. This Rose girl was funny.

"That's it. You're dead Rosy," James said, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"How so?" She asked raising an eyebrow at him.

Must learn to do that.

"I’m telling Scorpius."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, you bet I will."

Rose smiled at him, her sweet yet common face looking almost deadly.

"Fine. I'll just tell Aunt Ginny about the bike."

James paled.

This is so exciting! Just like those shows my ladies in waiting love to watch!

"We'll see," James said, smirking.

He looked at me and winked, before walking away.

And no, I’m not blushing. It’s my new Chanel In Love Blush. It is quite natural. I don’t blame you for being mistaken.

"You're Elizabeth, right?" Rose asked me, smiling a highly infectious smile.

"Yes. I see that you have recognized me from the magazines." I said, smiling benignly right back at her.

She looked amused. "Not really. My mother has told me all about you. You're a Princess in the muggle world right?"

My smile widened.

"You're Prof- Hermione's daughter? Oh thank god! You’re old!"

She looked a bit confused. "I’m only seventeen.."

"As old as me! The perfect age!"

I guess she was justified for being startled. I shouldn't have hugged her. Poor child probably hasn’t been hugged by a royal before.

Well, I was so happy! I was afraid that Hermione would have young children who would cry into the wee hours of the night or something. How lucky was I to find that Hermione only had one child who was my age!

"Umm, Elizabeth, You can let me go..anytime now.." She said.

"It’s okay, I don’t mind," I told her, putting her at ease.

"Right..." Wow. I had really rendered her speechless.

"Whoa, Lesbian lurrve. Niiice."

The creep was back.

Rose pushed me off her (HOW RUDE. Where are J and A??) and smacked the creep on the backside of his head.

"Gosh, Freddy, you are such an arse," She said.

He merely grinned and grabbed my hand.

Before I continue, I must say something of very great importance. It goes something like this:


Glad to have that cleared up.

Moving on.

He grabbed my hand (GAH) and -


Get his lips off my hand! Please please please dear god!

I guess Rose saw the tears escaping my eyes and hit him on the head again.

"Let her go, you creep!"

"What! I’m just introducing myself!" Freddy slunk up to me and winked," Freddy Weasley the second. Pleased to meet you."


Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Funny how I never truly understood that phrase until now.


"-And finally, I want you to meet Harry and Ginny Potter."

Oh my god. This family is HUGE.

In the last one hour, I’ve become acquainted with two facts.

Fact #1: Remember those red wigs? Yeah, they weren't wigs. That’s their actual hair. The entire family has red hair. IT’S A HOUSE FULL OF GINGERS.

It is quite a funny story actually. I'd just asked Ron where they all get their wigs from and everybody had stared at me for a good five minutes. After they were done with their raucous laughter, Hermione had told me that nobody was wearing a wig and it was their real hair. Then I laughed for a very long time. Same old.

Fact #2: The Weasley family is HUGE. Of course not as huge as mine. I’m practically related to every noblemen or so I've been told. But sufficiently huge. Too huge for this shack like thing, anyway.

Hermione had soon found me after the freaky episode with Rose's cousin Freddy. She asked me why I'd been standing at the entrance for so long. She looked a bit amused when I told her I'd been waiting for somebody to announce my arrival. I told her not to worry about it. It isn’t everyday that these people are visited by royalty, after all. How were they to know?

It’s been an hour since and I’ve practically met all the gingers I ever need to meet in my life. The only people who seemed even vaguely normal to me were Mr. Weasley, Hermione's father-in-law and a lovely non-ginger lady called Luna. Both of them greeted me well, addressing me as 'Your Highness'.

The way a subject treats his royals can tell you a lot about his character, you know.

Needless to say, The Weasleys are a lovely lot even though they are magical. Some of them even have a sense of humour. Like that Percy fellow who suggested that the kids camp outside for the night. Had me laughing out loud for a while, that one.

Some of them, however, are a bit peculiar. That boy Teddy has something really funny going on with his hair. I was sure it was bright blue but then after a while I noticed that it had turned yellow.

One thing is for certain though. I better watch what I eat in this place.

Coming back to the present.

"Hello, there," said the bespectacled man who I'd seen with J and A earlier.

Funny. He looks a lot like that James fellow.

"Good Evening," I replied, smiling my Princess Smile.

"I'm Harry. This is my wife, Ginny," He motioned to his wife, another redhead.

"It's lovely to meet you, Elizabeth. We've heard a lot about you," Ginny smiled.

"It’s lovely to meet you too," I said to her politely. I turned to my lovely professor who was responsible for my current predicament.

"Hermione, Can I talk to you?"

I pulled Hermione aside.

"How many more people do I have to meet? Because you'd told me it’s a family thing and I hadn't really applied my make-up to last this long. I really need to go touch up. You KNOW what happens when my foundation fades away. It isn’t very pretty and I think I just saw somebody with a camera.."

Hermione sighed.

"ROSE! COME HERE!" She waved her daughter over.

Rose, who appeared to be arguing with a certain blonde haired boy, grudgingly made her way towards us.

"What?" She snapped at her mother. Hermione gave her a deathly glare.

"Take Elizabeth and introduce her to Hugo and the lot. Now."


"Hermione! I don’t want to meet more ging- people! That’s what I was trying to tell you!"

"Relax, Elizabeth. I realize I'd been boring you with all the grown-ups. You'll have fun with the younger lot, trust me. After all, you've already met Freddy and I'm sure it was a hoot."

Define 'hoot', Professor.

I grumbled under my breath and Hermione gave me a curt look.

"Isn't that why you are here Elizabeth? To make friends?"

It was my turn to give up now.

"Fine. Let’s go, Rose."


Okay, The younger Weasleys hate me. And they aren't all Weasleys. There are like 3 Potters, 2 Scamanders (or was it Salamander?), 2 Longbottoms (Perhaps I shouldn’t have laughed at their name..) a Lupin and a Malfoy as well.

Don’t ask me how I remember that. I just do. It’s baffling me as well.

Let’s do a quick round of introductions, shall we?

Let’s start with the girls:

Victoire Weasley,20 : Blonde, almost as pretty as me, Sure as hell doesn’t like me. It’s not my fault though. I just told her that she needed a manicure and that I could see her roots. She got all curt with me and told me that her roots couldn’t be showing because her hair was natural. Liar. They don’t make blonde like that natural. Trust me, I KNOW.

Dominique Weasley, 18: Doesn’t like me either. Likes her fake blonde hair. Whatever.

Molly Weasley, 18: Quiet. Oddly Quiet. She didn't even smile at me when I gave her my Princess smile. So odd.

Rose Weasley, 16: Or should I call her Hermione Jr.? Not only do the look alike (minus the hair), they talk alike too. And there is SOMETHING going on between her and the Scorpion fellow.

Lucy Weasley, 15: See Molly.

Roxy Weasley, 15: I like her. She hit Freddy in the face with a bowl of custard during dinner. I really really like her.

Lily Weasley, 14: She is pretty, I suppose. Probably the only one who took my fashion critique seriously. I called her shirt nearly hideous and she just smiled and nodded her head. She was actually, like, paying attention to me. She imitated me when I turned away, Like a true patron. My heart nearly burst with pride.

Alice and Agatha Longbottom, 6: Scary. Very scary. I could see their food on their clothes. I was this close to a cardiac arrest.

The boys were relatively less hateful.

Teddy Lupin, 21: Can change his physical appearance on demand. When he told me this (after I'd asked about his hair) I was a bit taken aback. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him I was shocked that he was still walking around looking like that when he can actually change his face. It was a bit rude..

James Potter, 17: I'll get back to this one.

Freddy Weasley, 17: Major creep. Asked me if I wanted to share rooms. Isn’t he aware that I don’t SHARE rooms? What do I look like? 25th in the line to the throne? Sheesh.

Albus Potter, 16: Nice enough fellow. Asked me what I liked to read. I told him, you know, the usual. Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire...

Scorpius Malfoy, 16: Now he was curious. When I saw him, I saw the same grace and regal body language one sees in a true royal. Obviously, I was curious. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: And you are?

Scorpius: Scorpius Malfoy. Pleasure to meet you.

He had held out his hand and I, delighted to find nobility and grace in this shack like place, put my hand in his.

Me: Are you a nobleman?

Scorpius: No. I’m a Malfoy.

Me: Is that, like, a title?

Scorpius: No...

A true gentleman. A real diamond in the rough, that Scorpius.

Lorcan and Lysander Scamander, 14: Lovely boys. Told me that my hair had a serious case of Nargle infestation!

(Lily told me that Nargles are invisible creatures that live in the hair of those with extraordinary beauty!)

Hugo Weasley, 14: Seems a bit troubled. Greeted me with a weird popping noise that sounded like 'Sup'. Then he asked me, "How’s it Hangin'". Of course, it takes more than a boy with a clearly lacking vocabulary to baffle me. Using my quick and rather charming wit, I figured that he was talking about the building and replied with a smug, "Magic." He began laughing. Must have a word with Hermione about him.


After this rather exhausting round of introductions with probably the most dull crowd in this part of England, I was more than ready to retire.

Except now I know that I shouldn’t have stressed so strongly for retiring to what I'd earlier thought was the room allotted only to me.

Hermione, whom I'd gone to after meeting the younger lot, informed me that yes, I can retire so long as I'm not disturbed when my roommates join me later.

I suppose fainting on spot at the word 'roommates' wasn’t entirely princess like of me.


A/N: Woah could the ending be MORE abrupt?

Yes, it could have been. I could have ended the chapter with, "And then we ate -"

So consider yourself lucky, I suppose.

And review.


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