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Chapter 6 : Avoiding the Situation
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After a considerable amount of time, I realized it was getting late and I was freezing. But I couldn't think of where to go. I couldn't go home. The guys from Quidditch were at some party, even though I highly recommended they didn't go. There was only one place I could go.
I rang the doorbell, and heard it echo all through the house. About a minute later, someone answered the door. "Spencer? What are you doing here?"
"I didn't know where else to go." I cried.
Pansy quickly pulled me in the house. "What happened?" She asked. "Oh, you're all soaked, come on."
"I hope I didn't interupt anything." I said, trying to avoid the question.
"Oh, you didn't. Just having dinner with an old friend." She said, leading me into their kitchen.
"I'll be right back." Pansy said walking out quickly. I rummaged through the drawers until I found what I was looking for. I pulled a cigarrette out of the box, and lit it.
Pansy returned with Draco. "I thought you quit smoking." Draco said.
"Yeah, so did I." I said taking a drag.
"Tell us what happened." Pansy said. "Where is Nik?"
"Probably out looking for me. I left him." I said blankly.
"What? Why?" Draco asked.
"He cheated on me. With Granger." I answered.
Pansy gasped. "When?!"
"Four and a half years ago."
"I'm not following." Draco said. Any other time I would joke about how that wasn't a big surprise. But given the current situation, I didn't.
I told them the whole story. Pansy kept interputing with her gasping, and Draco with his "What?!"
Pansy is seething by the end. "How dare he? It was bad enough that he left you, but to have sex with her, that's just repulsive."
"Ugh, I can't believe Nik slept with a mudblood. He's contaminated now, you know." Draco said.
"Honestly, I'm more worried about the fact he cheated and lied." I said.
"Draco, have you ever cheated on me?" Pansy asked.
"What? No!" Draco said.
"Are you lying?" She asked.
"No. Look, I know back at school I wasn't the most faithful person, but I've changed. All those sluts I slept with in school don't mean anything anymore. I love you." They kissed and I thought for a moment.
"Hey, you slept me in school." I said.
"Oh, right..." he said. "Um all those sluts and Spencer don't mean anything. I mean, you do, just not like that, you know?"
"Wow, you are racking up some serious hits with me tonight." I said.
"Sorry." He apologized. Just then the kitchen door swung open.
"Is this how you treat guests? Leaving them at the dinner table?" My eyes widened as Blaise Zabini walked into the kitchen. This day could not get any worse.
"Spencer?" He asked when he saw me.
"Blaise." I said nodding curtly.
"Hey, um how are you? It's been awhile."
"I'm fine. Just a little soaked at the moment." I said as a lame attempt at a joke.
Blaise laughed. "Still cracking jokes, I see. Uh, so I heard you're getting married."
"Mhmm. Yeah I am. To Nik." I said quietly, wondering if that was still true.
"Wait Nikolas Mewes?! From school? You two are still together?" He asked shocked.
"Yeah. Don't you read the Prophet?" I asked.
"I actually don't. I try my best to stay away from it. Not to mention I've been in North America for the last two years."
"Oh, I didn't know that." I said.
"Yeah. But, hey, congrats. Nikolas is a lucky man. Where is he by the way?"
"He's away doing business." I lied. "I don't like being alone, so I came here." I didn't want Blaise of all people knowing my relationship was crumbling.
And I was grateful to Pansy and Draco when they didn't say anything.
"Oh, so you're staying here tonight as well?" He asked.
"Looks like it." I answered.
"Great. We have loads of catching up to do." He grinned.
"Oh, yes, loads." I muttered.
After I had put on some dry clothes, I settled down in an armchair in the den alone. Both the coffee I was drinking and the fire warmed me up. But on the inside I still felt cold. Because the only person I had ever truly given my heart to had broken it. I used to feel so warm all the time knowing I had Nik.
"You left him, didn't you?" A voice behind me asked. I looked up and saw Blaise. He sat in the armchair across from me.
"How do you know?" I asked. I just didn't have the strength to lie to him.
"I of all people know what you look like when you're broken and you've had enough." He said. I didn't say anything. "So, what did he do?"
"Same thing you did, only it feels ten times worse because I fully trusted him." I answered.
"So, he cheated, lied, and betrayed your trust?" He asked, clarifying.
"Yes, but not on a daily basis like you. It was a one time thing." I said.
"He only did it once, and you still left him?" Blaise asked.
"It feels like he did it a thousand times." I said as tears once again filled my eyes. "How can I marry someone who did that to me?"
"Good question. I have no answer to that." He replied.
"That's helpful." I said sarcastically.
"Well you know me, I'm not the smartest person. I mean, after all, I was stupid enough to hurt the only girl I ever loved." He said quietly.
I looked up at him. Did he mean me? He had hurt many girls, but never told them he loved them, only me. After everything, I thought it was a lie. You can't love someone and then treat them the way he treated me. Can you?
"Do you mean me?" I asked quietly
Blaise gave me a weak smile. "Yeah. Didn't realize I was being obvious about it."
"Well, you were. But just a bit." I laughed slightly. "And yeah, you were stupid for hurting her. She loved you. Maybe if you had been smarter she wouldn't be engaged to someone else."
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "That's the biggest regret of my life. Every day I wonder what would have happened if I would have treated you right."
"Things would be completely different." I said honestly. "Who knows how things would have turned out."
"Well, one thing is for sure. You wouldn't be so heart broken right now." He said.
"Yeah, that's probably true." I nodded.
"Is there ever a way you could forgive me?" He asked.
"I forgave you a long time ago." I admitted. "I was actually happy you did all of that, because it led me to be with Nik. And no matter what, I'd never want to change that."
"Even right now?"
"I don't want to change being with him. I want to change what he did." I replied.
"Did you ever want to change what I did?" Blaise asked.
"Every damn day we were together. And even after that, yeah. I just wanted you to love me." I shrugged slightly.
"I did." He said.
"Well, you sure had a funny way of showing it."
"I know...I'm stupid. Sorry."
"With all this apologizing you would think you were the guy I left today." I chuckled.
"Nope, just the guy you left seven years ago, wishing he had another chance." He said truthfully.
"If only wishes came true..." I trailed off.
Blaise smiled. "Yeah, if only."
We talked for maybe an hour before I started dozing off. I smoked two more cigarattes and as Blaise half carried me upstairs, I hoped I wouldn't have a craving for smoking in the morning. I hadn't smoked in six years, I should be fine.
"Hey Spencer?" Blaise asked when I was settled in bed, five seconds away from sleep.
"Hmm?" I asked drowsily.
"Don't avoid this. Talk to him, let him explain. Don't make the same mistake I did and let the one you love slip away." He said pushing the hair on my forehead aside and bending down and kissing my forehead.
As Blaise clicked off the light, my head drooped, and I fell into a deep sleep.
I was late to work the next morning. I had to wait until I was sure Nik was no longer home, before apparating there. It was empty when I got there, but the mess I had made the previous day was still there.
The boys were surpisingly silent when I got there. "Where were you last night?" Donovan asked.
"Excuse me? Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I asked confused.
"I'm not the one who walked out on my fianceč last night." He said.
"How do you know about that?" I asked.
"Nikolas showed up here this morning, looking a wreck, if I do say so, looking for you. Said he hadn't seen you since last night after you walked out on him. He didn't know where you were, he's worried." Scott said, his usual goofy smile absent.
"Good." I said.
"Good? What the hell Spencer?! Why did you do that?" Tyson asked.
I scoffed. "So he didn't tell you why I left?" I asked. They shook their heads. "Nik cheated and lied to me." I said. "Is that a good enough reason?"
I was struggling to hold it together, because the boys had never seen me cry, and I wanted to keep it like that.
"Oh, no. Spencer, why didn't you tell us?" Tom asked.
"You never really gave me the chance to." I shrugged. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have told them, unless I absolutely had to. I never wanted to appear weak in front of them.
"Well, what about last night? You were off wandering the streets by yourself. You should have came to our building." Tucker said.
"But, you guys were all at that party." I pointed out.
"No, we weren't." Greg said. "We decided to stay home last night. Thought we should listen to you every once in a while."
I smiled proudly at them. They had listened.
"So, where did you stay last night?" Vince asked.
"Pansy's." I answered. "Surprised Nik didn't look there first." I said.
"He thought it would be too easy to look there." Tom said.
"Oh." I said, blinking back tears.
"Spencer, it's okay to cry." Donovan said quietly.
"No, it's not." I sobbed. "I'm supposed to be strong."
"But you don't always have to be." He said standing up and wrapping me in a hug.
"I love him." I cried. "I really do. But I don't want him to hurt me again."
Tom hugged from behind. "We know you love him." He whispered. "And guess what? He loves you too."
"So, he fucked up, who doesn't? I'm sure he's not stupid enough to hurt you again." Greg said.
"You think?" I sniffled.
"We all do." Scott answered. "You need to speak to him, let him explain what happened. Don't throw away six years of love because of one stupid mistake."
Everyone kept telling me to do that, so it was worth a try.
"And that girl he slept with, I bet she was nowhere near as pretty as you are." Tucker said.
"She looks like a beaver." I laughed slightly.
"Spencer, if things don't end up working out, remember, I'm single." Vince winked.
"You can't hit on Spencer if she leaves Nik." Tyson said. "I was going to!"
"Hey, I called dibs a long time ago!" Tom protested.
"Look, none of you get to hit on Spencer." Donovan announced. "I'm Captain, so I get Spencer."
Arguing broke out between the boys."
"I saw her first!"
"We're soul mates!"
"I know how to fix this problem!" I shouted.
"How?" Greg asked.
"How about none of you get me?" I suggested.
"No!!" They yelled, and then proceeded with arguing.
After work, I couldn't make myself go home. I knew I couldn't keep avoiding this situation,but going home still seemed like too much.
Instead, I took a walk in my favorite park. I stopped at the place Nik had proposed and stood there.
"Spencer." I heard from behind me after a few minutes.
I turned around slowly,and there he was. "Nikolas." Tom had bed right, Nik did look like a wreck. I think he was wearing the same clothes from the day before, his hair was a mess, and he looked like he got absolutely no sleep last night.
"Can we talk about what happened?" He asked. "Will you let me explain?"
I paused for a moment. "Yes."
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