Chapter 5 : I love you
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“Why would that put him in danger?” Teddy asked. I had to wonder whether they knew anything about my Department at all, so far they seem to know little-nothing on the subject.
“What do you mean ‘Why would that put him in danger’? You do know what it is I do, don’t you?” I figured I would see how much they knew before I told them anything that could compromise my job.
“We just know you’re a secret organization that deals with assassinations, and other covert missions.” Harry said.
“I cannot tell you much, most of it is confidential. But I’ll tell you this, if James knew it would set off a chain of events that I have spent 4 years of my life trying to avoid.” I said in a calm voice. My facial expressions composed and neutral, only showing a controlled amount of pleading in my eyes.
“4 years? I thought you’ve only known James for 3?” Teddy said, a confused look on his face.
“James has only known me for 3,” I said vaguely. I didn’t mean for my answer to be vague, but there was only so much I could tell them.
So let me explain.
Well, not really “lied” just withheld the truth about how James and I got together. We did first meet in Spain, it just wasn’t on accident. A year before I meet James I was assigned to a long term mission gathering information on potential security threats, Death Eaters who are working from the inside. When I first started the assignment they gave me a list names, James’ name was at the top. He is the foremost expert on the new age Death Eaters, and he tends to take long leaves of absent once a month, around the same time (I calculated) that Death Eater activity spikes. So I investigated, timed when he takes his leaves of absents, and then, when I had enough information, I followed him.
All the way to Spain.
It turns out that most of the new age Death Eaters meet outside of the UK, we aren’t sure why, they just do.
After Spain I began to have a relationship with James, everything was going to plan, I was gathering information at an alarming rate, but then it happened.
I fell in love.
It happened slowly.
Came out of nowhere.
So when he asked me to marry him, I said yes. Not because it was my job, not because he was a security risk and I needed to keep an eye on him, but because I love him. I love him so much my only fear in the world is that he would leave me because of what I am.
I am a liar.
“What the hell does that mean?” Teddy said. He has getting angry, ether with the lack of information I was giving out or because he is half werewolf.
“It means that we have a file on James here in the Department of Myths, and if you have a file in the Department of Myths, let’s just say you better pray to Merlin that you never find out why,” I said before turning around and heading back into the conference room. But before I did head back I turned around and looked them both in the eye.
“I love James, more then you could possibly imagine,” I said, before proceeding down the hall.
It took them a minute to follow me, but when they did they didn’t ask any more questions.
“So what’s this I hear about Death Eaters?” I said with a cheery smile as I entered the room. The conversation stopped as soon as I entered, I assume they were talking about me.
I took my seat next to Adam, he gave me a look that said “We will discuss this later” I gave a slight nod.
“Right now that that has been taken care of, Harry, would you like to present?” Jim said. He sat down as Harry stood.
“Thank you all for coming,” And with those opening words, I knew it was going to be a long night.
Basically the meeting was about where the Death Eaters base of operation could be, they have a few ideas but they need people who can go and check out the locations under the radar. Zelda and Will volunteered to do that, so I’m still confused as to why I needed to be there. I think Jim just enjoys my pain, I mean why would he bring my assignments father and god brother to my secret job! That could possibly blow my cover! But on the other hand, Jim doesn’t now the entire story as to my assignment to become close to a Death Eater, so maybe he isn’t out to get me? But that’s always a possibility!
God I sound paranoid…….
I was currently lying in my bed, waiting for sleep to overtake me. But for some unknown reason sleep refuses to overtake me. It may or may not have something to do with the fact that right now Harry and Teddy hold my future in their hands. If they tell James about my job, then he will never trust me enough to try and recruit me to become a Death Eater, which would mean my first mission failed. And if they don’t tell him, things will stay the same.
I’ll still be in love with a Death Eater.
Why did I have to be assigned to the nice Death Eater!? Why couldn’t he be a standard mean, morbid Death Eater!?!
What the hell am I going to do?!? I can’t very well tell James that I’m secretly out to get you sent to Azkaban! But I can’t send him to Azkaban ether!
God I’m a terrible person.
I should have said no when they asked me to do this mission. But I know I could never say no to an opportunity to excel in my career.
“Elara,” my eyes shot open and I was so close to strangle whoever whispered my name in my ear, but as my eyes opened I was greeted with the source of my lack of sleep.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him. My eyebrows scrunched together in a confused manner.
“I missed my Fiancé,” He stated simply before descending his lips to mine in a passionate kiss. He got onto to my bed and straddled me, not once breaking the kiss.
He started to trail soft kisses down my throat, whispering sweet nothings as he unbuttoned my pajama shirt. I pulled his shirt off next, and for tonight my worries were forgotten.
There she was, the love of my life. Lying in bed, her naked form outlined by the sheets. She looked beautiful. And yet the only thing I can think of is all the lies that I have told her. I didn’t come here last night just because I missed her (but that is a part of it), it was because I needed to forget about all the peoples whose lives I ruined that night, and for what? Too rebel against my hero parents, to prove to everyone, the taunting Slytherin’s that I was nothing like my father. I was 15; I just wanted to prove myself. I didn’t know all it would do would give me a lifetime of regret.
I might have never killed anyone, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never ruined their lives.
And now I’ve dragged Elara into this, I’m such a selfish person for doing that. I knew going into the relationship that I would be no good for her, even tried calling it off, letting her leave during a fight that we had. But I always went after her, and I always would.
I know she has her secrets, but I have mine. But I think all relationships have their secrets, granted, not as big as ours, but secrets are secrets no matter the size.
I’m the Peter Pettigrew of this generation, a coward in a house of lions.
“Good morning,” A very groggy Elara said as she rolled over to face me. I handed her a cup of coffee I made earlier.
“Thanks,” she said giving me a kiss on the cheek before taking the cup from me. Our hands brushed up against each other, hers were cold: they were always cold.
“Do you have any plans for today?” I asked her. She started to sit up; making sure the covers still covered her up in the processes.
“I need to go into Diagon Ally and get some more floo powder, and then I need to go into work to do some paper work, and then we could meet up at your place for a late dinner if you’re free?” She said, taking a sip of her coffee.
“A late dinner sounds nice, and my mum wanted me to see if you could met up with her and some other people from my family tomorrow to go over wedding stuff, so if your free just owl her,” I told her. I moved to sit closer to her, wrapping my arms around her shoulder. She rested her head on my shoulder, her silky long curls gliding against my shirtless chest.
“I’m sure I could get off work tomorrow, I’ll owl her from the office,” She said smiling. I love it when she smiles; it’s sometimes so small that if you don’t look closely you could miss it.
We sat for awhile, just enjoying each other’s company. She smelled like fresh strawberries.
But this moment of course won’t last, she needs to get ready so she can get to work on time, and I have another meeting with Seth Danmoor, a fellow Death Eater. I have been gathering information from the Auror offices, and just yesterday my dad told me that they were meeting with this secret group that was going to help them with locating and infiltrating our base of operations.
“We should really get up,” she mumbled against my chest, where her head now rested. I knew she was right, we both needed to get up. I snuck a look at the clock she has on her bedside table, 8:43am, my meeting is at 9:00am.
“I have to go, I’m going to be late for a meeting,” I told her as I carefully slid out from under her.
I quickly walked over to her trunk that I through my overnight bag on last night, pulled out a pair of black jeans and a dark navy blue shirt and quickly through them on. Then I quickly went into her bathroom to brush my teeth.
By the time I came out Elara wasn’t in the bedroom anymore, I could smell the eggs coming from the kitchen. I quickly made my way into the kitchen to find my beautiful Fiancé waving her wand around the kitchen making breakfast. She looked amazing. She was wearing one of my old T-shirts, her hair was up in a very messy bun, and her green eyes looked as magical as ever. And she was all mine.
“Hey, I thought you would be hungry so I thought I would wipe something up for you,” She said without turning around.
“You are the best Fiancé ever, have I ever told you that?” I asked, walking up behind her, slowly trailing kisses up her neck.
“Yes, but it’s always nice to hear it, and you better stop with the kisses before I burn your eggs,” she replies with a sigh. I give her one last kiss before moving to get the plates.
“What do you want to have for dinner tonight?” I asked as she dished out the eggs.
“Waffles sound good, what do you think?” I knew there was a reason I loved her!
“Waffles sound fantastic,” I said as I quickly finished my eggs. She gave me a small smile, and continued staring at me with a fond look in her eyes. She often did this, and I’m sure I often stared at her as well, but we where two people in love, we are allowed to stare at each other.
“I love you,” she said. Her voice conveyed so much emotion, so much love. I pulled her into a passionate kiss without a second thought.
After a few moments I pulled out of the kiss.
“I love you too, but you’re going to make me late for this meeting,” she gave me a sad smile. I gave her one last kiss before getting up and going towards the door. Before I closed the door I thought I heard her say “I wish you wouldn’t go,” which would not have been weird other then the way she said it. Like she knew I was going to a meeting with Death Eaters.
I pushed the thought that Elara might know that I am a Death Eater to the back of my mind as I arrived at the meeting point.
It was dark, dirty, and smelled terrible. It looked like an old warehouse, broken crates were scattered everywhere. You could hear rats scurrying across the floor, water dripping from the ceiling. I could feel the hair on my arms stand at attention.
“Your late,” I quickly turned towards the voice, wand out and ready. It was Seth. I put my wand away, and looked him and down, he was wearing muggle jeans with a white tee shirt, converse sneakers. His wand was not drawn, he looked calm, comfortable.
“I got distracted,” was my simple reply. I didn’t want to bring up Elara; they’ve been trying to get me to recruit her ever since we became serious.
“Elara?” he said with a smirk, “what silly question, of course it was her. I heard about the engagement, congrats!” I really just wanted to hex that smirk off his face.
“Thanks,” I said, keeping my face neutral. “We should get this over with; I have to go into the office today,”
“Of course, well what do you have for me today Jamsie?” Seth asked, sitting down on top of a crate. I stayed standing.
“Some of the Aurars have been meeting with this secret group within the Ministry to help the Aurars infiltrate our base, I don’t have a lot of information on said secret group, my dad didn’t tell me much, and I was not asked to attend,” I explained, silently thanking my dad for not telling me much.
“That’s not a lot, but it is interesting. Now, an update on how it is going recruiting the lovely Elara Sanders?” Seth asked, licking his lips. It made me sick to think that Elara could be caught up in this.
“It’s coming, I can’t just flat out ask her, that would just scare her off,” or she would just punch me in the face, she might not have good balance but she punches bloody hard.
“Smart, just make sure she is going to say yes, it would be shame if you had to kill her,” he said smirking at the thought.
“Yeah, if that’s all, I need to be getting to work,” I said, slowly turning towards the door.
“Will you be at the raid tonight?” he asked. You could hear the pleasure in his voice as he thought of killing muggles.
“I can’t, I made dinner plans,” I said, not turning around to face him.
“Understandable, if I had a choice between having hot sex with Elara or killing muggles, I would choice Elara” By the time he finished speaking he was standing right behind me, and whispered the last part in my ear. I wanted to hex his hand off, I wanted to punch his face in, but I knew I couldn’t. Not without being killed. But the thought of him with Elara made me want to throw up.
So I left, without a word, I left.
Authors Note: So yeah, that happened. . . Tell me what you think about James being a Death Eater? I want to you to know that it was not planned, but it just kind of worked, at least I think it did. I personally love this chapter. I hope it explains a lot, it was meant to. I'm going to go back and look at the previous chapters to make sure that it all fits together, because, like I said, I didn’t plan for James to be a Death Eater.
I'm really worried that you guys won’t like it, so please tell me if you don't!!! Oh, also what did you think about James' POV? Should I do that again at some point? Did I make him too girly when he was talking about Elara? These are all things I would love to know!!
Lots of love,
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