Chapter 4 : Awkward encounters and Updates on Family
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4) Awkward encounters and Updates on Family
I was happily snogging Jessie.
Then my girl best friend (I don’t why she is) has to come and pull me away.
So, with a quick apology to Jessie, I had some female demon grabbing me (quite firmly) on the arm and heaving me to the exit of the Street Dancing club.
“I’m not going out with her. I could’ve though if you hadn’t have dragged me away!” I muttered angrily, though I didn’t really mind about the whole relationship thing. Yeah, I dated before I shagged, unlike Fred sometimes, but I didn’t mind the odd snog with someone I don’t know so well. I was definitely a dating person though, and Fro knew that.
“I’m sorry! But, Fred has vanished!”
“Like poof! He said he went to the bathroom, but he didn’t come back. So I snuck in to check-“
“You snuck into the guys bathroom in a random street dancing place? When anyone could’ve been there?” I interrupted, smacking my face to the palm of my hand. Ow.
Seriously, no pun intended, that girl will get herself caught for one of her ridiculous antics one day.
“There wasn’t anyone though, was there? Stop interrupting! But, he wasn’t there and he said he wasn’t going to leave without doing the dance off,” said Fro, frantically. I chuckled. You could tell as much as they hated each other, that they cared about each other. Only if Fro cares about someone, and is worried for them, she starts pacing and speaking non-stop. You tend to zone out.
“Don’t worry,” I smiled, stopping her pacing by placing my hands firmly on her shoulders. She looked up at me like a 5 year old who doesn’t have a clue what to do. “He went to the club.” And then my pretty little 5 year old was gone. Fabulous.
“How could he just leave? He could’ve taken us along! I’ve been longing to go to the club since how long! He just left! Bastard- you wait till I get home! JAMIE!” she yelled, and I cringed. Oh dear.
Thanks a lot Fred- left me with damage control. I scowled inwardly, reminding myself to give him a punch when we got back, but I think Fro was going to deliver one anyway. Oh my dear little sister. She’s got a temper to fit in with the Weasley women perfectly- but a better sense of humour.
“James! Apparate us to the park next to OUR apartment!” she demanded. The reason I had mainly invited her in cause I was tired of hearing Fred and Fro argue so much, when they could easily get along, so hopefully they would learn to cope with each other by living together! Hopefully.
“Why not straight to the door of our house?”
“Do not question my decisions! Just let me leap onto your back!”
“What?” I yelled, ignoring the attention we were gathering.
“Aller!” she commanded, and like the sad little brother-like friend I was I ‘aller’ed with her clinging onto me and on my back. We charged down the street because we had to find an empty alley to apparate. We got strange looks, but what could I do? Comes with being friends with the mental lunatic on my back. Suddenly, we banged into someone.
“Sorry!” I hurriedly apologized while Fro rambled on about me failing her as a knight- I swear she’s permanently drunk. Or on drugs. I must talk to her about it- she’s not keeping the stash in our Apartment; we’re Aurors. I don’t want to get kicked out of a job by my dad!
“James Potter?” said an incredibly familiar voice. She was my girlfriend at Hogwarts for 2 years- the end of 4th year till the end of 6th. A long time. I had honestly liked her- something unusual for me. The way she had ginger curls and wasn’t related to me in any way (definitely a plus since I don’t do incest), her diplomatic and logical approach to almost everything, her deep brown eyes and the way she reprimanded every single prank I would do and try to keep me in line. She broke up with me. I know- someone break up with James Sirius Potter? Unheard of. She was a Ravenclaw, yet I doubted her smarts since she broke up with me because she thought Fro and I had something going on. I don’t think she understands it would be incest. It didn’t help when Fro called her a bitch and she overhead. Fro explained the reason she doesn’t like Melissa is because it’s like she’s got a stick up her arse.
“Melissa Davies?” Son of Rodger Davies and Cho Chang, we had got quite serious at one point. When I had brought her round for part of the Christmas Holidays my parents nearly had a choking fit on seeing Cho Chang-Davies. Merlin knows why. I sensed some tension between my dad and Mrs. Davies, so I decided to shorten the encounter, as I presumed they had dated as that would be my reaction on seeing one of my ex-girlfriends once I had got married.
Shut up. Don’t think about marriage.
“So, are you two finally going out?”
“What is up with people? Two people in one day asking that! Why in the world would I date my brother? Cause that’s what James is! I’d rather date Fred Weasley the second!” she exclaimed, jumping off my back. I smirked.
“Rather date Fred Weasley, ey?” I chuckled. Blackmail material at it’s highest. And, yes- I am her best friend.
“Oh, shut up, twat. You know I wouldn’t date that git in any of my lifetimes even if I had to remain as a lonely spinster with 25 cats and 3 Kneazles.”
“Hello?” muttered Melissa, annoyed.
“Look, Metisse,” began Fro, before I whispered Melissa’s actual name in her ear. “Look, Melissa, do you like James and make him happy? Okay then, I shall not interfere. Stop thinking I like him! Do I look like someone who does incest to you? Are you calling me a mutant?” growled Fro, and Melissa shook her head looking slightly scared and disturbed at the same time. “Good. So give him your number, and quickly at that, because I am not in a good mood and have to go give a bastard with the second name Weasley and the ego a size of a Hippogriff, a real good spanking!”
“I’m sure you will,” I said, suggestively, inwardly laughing at her monologues. She scowled at me and ushered for Melissa to write down her number on a piece of paper.
And she did so! Melissa smiled shyly at me once more and gave Fro a curious glance before continuing down the street, the opposite direction to which we were going. I looked at Fro in admiration.
“I’ll admit your methods are unusual, yet effective,” I grinned. I wrapped her in a hug to say thanks, and it felt no different to taking Lily in my arms. I knew she was attractive, but wasn’t wanting to snog her and that’s what assured me that Fro was by no means anyone who I would start a relationship with.
“I’m just amazing. Now apparate me to the home, sweet home?”
“I still don’t understand why you can’t apparate on your own.”
“I can, but I don’t tend to if someone else is there after the Splinching Incident.”
“Don’t remind me.” I shuddered at the vile memory, and grabbed her hand before thinking about the Apartment.
I immediately flopped down on my bed, far too exhausted to attempt to interfere or watch the encounter between the viciously angry Fro and Fred.
“Gah, why is this door red? And he’s unusually silent? Oh well, wait till I tell him.”
“Red door?” I yelled. “NO! That means he’s-“
I heard the most high-pitched scream I have ever heard produced in my life time, that probably deafened me, erupt from Fro.
I leaped out my bed to make sure Fro, Fred or whoever Fred was shagging didn’t end up injured or killing themselves. I saw Fro slam the door shut, run into her room and dive under the blankets. I slowly edged in, and heard her muttering to herself.
“You did not just see Fred’s manly bits. You did not just interrupt a shagging couple. You did not just see Fred’s manly bits. You did not-“
It was as if she was in denial. Oh dear. I heard some noise coming from Fred’s room (luckily, not moans- I don’t think Fro could handle anymore mental scarring). I turned to face the door to find a furious looking Fred, with a towel round his waist trying to tie a knot. Once he succeeded= he gave one look at me to ask whether it was safe, anger dissolving. I shrugged. Honestly, I didn’t think it was, but this encounter, now it has happened, needed to be resolved.
I’m living with mental cases here. I nodded my head towards the lump under the blankets that was Fro and Fred confidently marched up to her.
“Stop whining. You’ve seen them before, haven’t you?” he grumbled, bringing up the ‘Shagging Incident’ the second day in a row. She took her face out of the pillow and glared at him.
“Plus, what was that? You just walked in mid-shag!”
“How was I meant to know you were fucking your slag of the week?”
“I don’t have a slag of the week! And the red door?”
“What significance does that have?”
“JAMES!” they yelled in unison. Why do I call these people my friends? They’re more trouble than its worth.
I’m too tired to try and solve this nicely. I am not a fucking Peacekeeper.
I want to dream about cute puppies, unicorns and rainbows. Not about my two best friends shagging then arguing, then laughing, then arguing, then word attacking and so simply arguing! It doesn’t sound like a fun dream, does it? Well, it isn’t.
“Alright, I can’t deal with your fighting tonight! Fro, man up- even if you are a girl. As much as it pains me to admit, you and Fred did shag so you’ve already seen them. Fred, honestly, I’m sorry mate.”
“HEY! How come he gets a sorry and I get told to man up?” whined Fro. At her puppy dog face, I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a big bear hug.
“Better?” I asked. She grinned and nodded. I waved both goodnight and scampered off to bed before either of them could hold me back any longer. I sighed deeply and fell on my bed, quickly falling asleep, thinking about Melissa.
I woke up at around noon, and stumbled down to the bathroom in my boxers. After getting Fro out of bed, kicking Fred out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen.
“May I please request you after today to wear something other than just your boxers to the kitchen,” cringed Fro, examining mine and Fred’s attire.
“At least it’s better than usual,” chuckled Fred, and Fro’s eyes widened before she shuddered.
“May I ask why you have woken us up, on a Saturday that we are not due in work for, at 9am?” groaned Fred, and I chuckled while clapping him on the back.
“See, Freddie, m’boy, we are going down to Hogsmeade to meet our lovely little family that are still in Hogwarts.” Fred nodded in understanding, and became a little less grumpy. We usually went and checked up on them on Hogsmeade visits- prevented little Lily from getting dates as well. She’s only a 6th year!
Fro let out a little squeal of excitement. “Does that mean Rose, Al, Lily, Hugo, Louis, Molly and Lucy?”
“No. It means our bloody Great Aunt Muriel,” deadpanned Fred. She glared at him. He stuck her tongue out at her.
What mature friends I have.
“Yes, it does, Fro,” I intervened. “So, shall we have breakfast?”
“Who makes breakfast? I know you can’t cook for a fact,” she laughed, and I muttered under my breath. I was horrible cook, which is why I sucked at Potions. Damn you Albus for getting the cooking skills- let me tell you, cooking is a great way to charm the ladies.
“Fred, of course,” I replied. It was obvious- who else lived in the flat? We didn’t exactly have a maid.
She gaped. Honestly, I swear that girl thinks that Fred is a manwhore with no skills or brain at all.
“Weasley,” she exclaimed, turning to face Fred, who was pointedly avoiding her look. “You can cook?”
His face snapped to face her, and he stiffly nodded.
“Freddie loves cooking, don’t ya? You used to do it with the house elves in Hogwarts when you had some spare time-“ I began, but stopped and moaned when he smacked me in the stomach.
Why are these people my friends again?
Then Fro broke out into hysterical laughter. “You… mean to say… Fred is one of those… camp guys… who like cooking?” My eyes widened in realization, while Fred sent death glares to an oblivious Fro, who was doubled over in laughter. He scowled at me, and I sheepishly scratched the back of my head.
“Fine! See how you go without breakfast- I know you can’t cook to save your life,” smirked Fred. That shut Fro up.
“But… then I’ll starve! AND THE WORLD WILL BE WITHOUT FRO! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO THE WORLD?”
“I’M A CRUEL PERSON!” yelled Fred in reply, and began cackling in a slightly- make that incredibly- demented manner. “Mwahahaha!” Fro was sobbing into her hands, on her knees.
Honest to Merlin, I live in a mental ward. But, I’m not even mental. I must have been wrongly diagnosed. Silly healers.
“So, breakfast?” muttered Fred, him and Fro having composed themselves. Took them long enough.
Fred made breakfast in silence, the only sound was the sizzling of sausages in the pan. Then he began humming the Grand Old Duke of York, a Muggle song for toddlers. Emphasis on the ‘for toddlers’ part.
“Does he always hum while he makes breakfast?” whispered Fro.
I nodded gleefully. It was never a normal Wrock song lets say, it was always something odd and different each day.
“Oh dear, Weasley,” sniggered Fro, and I chuckled.
“What you two laughing about?” sniffed Fred, and our laughter just increased. That guy never ceases to amaze me.
“Lilsikin! My little flower!” I greeted, and grabbed my baby sister around the waist spinning her around.
“Put me down, James!” she protested, but laughed anyway.
“Nice to see you too, bro,” added in Albus, and I grinned and winked at him. Our relationship was so different to Lily’s and mine but it was just as strong.
“Don’t get jealous, just cause James loves me more. Don’t you?” How can I help not thinking of her like a little girl when she does this? My little adorable sister.
“Of course I do,” I grinned, letting her down. Albus looked at me in mock horror, and pretending to be heart broken. “It’s okay Alby,” I comforted, and he cringed at the awful nickname.
My nicknames are evil.
“So, bro, update me quick! I heard Fro’s living with you guys,” said Lily, and the family gathered round the fireplace I had just appeared out of in the Three Broomsticks.
“She should be coming any second now,” I replied, laughing at their eager faces to know what was happening. Sure enough, I heard the bickering voices of Fred and Fro as the stepped out the fireplace.
Honestly, they both spend more time arguing with each other than generally with me.
“Honestly, the Squid is called Matt!”
“It’s called Jake.”
“Penguin!” I shouted. It fell silent for a moment, before the three of us burst out laughing.
“Still crazy as ever, I see,” pointed out Rosie, and I grinned at her.
“You didn’t think we’d change, did you?” I pouted.
“More like get more mental with Fro moving in,” Hugo replied, and Fro gasped in mock offense.
“Are you insulting me, Hugo?” Hugo moved close to Fro, and winked at her seductively.
“Now, that wouldn’t be very nice, would it? Should I make it up to you?” I laughed along with the rest of the family, as everyone knew Fro was practically like an older sister to Hugo.
“Hands off, man. You don’t want to get this one’s germs. She’s got Josh Wood STDs,” interrupted Fred, and all of their eyes widened.
“You’re going out with Josh Wood?” squealed Molly.
“And you never told us?” added Lucy, while them and Lily began chatting animatedly to Fro about her relationship.
“Is he a good snog?” asked Lily.
“Lily, you are too young to hear about snogging!” I remarked, butting in. She scowled.
“I’m doing quite a bit of it right now with my boyfriend.” My eyes widened drastically, and my mouth formed a quite comical ‘o’.
“Wrong thing to say?” she asked, Lucy and Lucy nodded gravely.
“Who is he?” I growled. She muttered something incomprehensible. “Repeat?”
“Lysander Scamander?” I exclaimed. And I thought he was a good guy! Shows how rubbish my decision making skills are.
“No, Lysander Humahumanukanukaapu’a,” she snapped. “And you will not do anything to harm him!”
“But it’s my duty as a brother,” I whined.
“Nope. Your duty is keep your nose out my business.”
“Fine,” I sniffed, but the topic was changed when Fro asked on updates in Hogwarts.
“Well, Scorpius still insists he’s only friends with Rose, and she refuses to admit she likes him,” gossiped Molly. Scorpius was shockingly sorted into Gryffindor, and just like Fred, Fro and I, Scorpius, Albus and Rose were the trio of the year bellow. Except Scorpius and Rose didn’t argue constantly and the three of them were more secretive with their ploys and pranks. They had Rose to hold them back, whereas we three only had Roxanne on occasions.
“Rose?” Fred gaped. “You like Scorpius?”
Fro whacked him upside the head. “Yes, you clueless dumbshit.”
“At least I’m not the one who walked in on a couple shagging!” he replied, haughtily. Uh oh. Fro blushed bright scarlet.
“You WHAT?” chorused our cousins. Oh, they make me laugh. She went even brighter red if that were possible.
“I walked in on Fred and some bint shagging,” she muttered. Everyone chuckled, but no one made a big fuss about it, which I think Fro was grateful for. Even Fred, realising the topic he brought up, looked quite relieved it closed so soon.
“So, all of us cousins have been thinking,” began Louis.
“Well, that’s not a good sign…” muttered Fred, and I let out a snort, but noticed them directing between Fro and I.
He muttered a silencio, and tried to say something but then shut his mouth and nudged Lily. “You say it- he’s your brother.” Lily scowled, but turned to face Fro and I.
“We think its enough time you and Fro go out.”
Why is nobody laughing?
Why is it silent?
Shit. They are not joking.
“What?” blurted out, Fro.
“Well, its obvious James fancies you,” added Roxanne.
“James, don’t you remember?
“Huh?” I replied, oh so wittily. I was just outright confused. What were my fucking mental cousins going on about?
“You told me you loved her!”
“He probably meant it like family,” retorted Fred hastily. Poor dude looked pretty frazzled. I guess I would be too if I was in his situation. I better thank him later. Get him some new Auror robes for being such a good friend.
Woo. Auror robes. I know what you’re thinking- such a good present. Well, at least it’ll come in use and won’t be one of those presents that you pretend to love and it stays on your shelf for the rest of your life because you want to give it away, but can’t, incase the giver of the present would find out you had given their present to someone else.
With so many cousins, and not really a lack of money, presents are something that you have to get an awful lot. Receiving is all good, it’s buying that’s difficult.
Back on topic after my gift tangent- where the hell did they get this motherfucking idea? Excuse the language, but you can’t blame me. She’s like a sister.
“Yes Fred, but he said ‘I love her’ in that lovey dovey way, and they always laugh at each others jokes, eye fuck from across the room-“
“We’re not eye fucking! We’re just communicating,” interrupted Fro, who looked like she just wanted to jump off a cliff. Don’t worry, I’ll join you, Fro.
“Oh, get off it. You two obviously are perfect for each other, and I won’t rest till I’ve matched you up,” insisted Lily. Albus smirked when our eyes met, and he nodded over to Fro and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Even he thinks I like her!
“That’s enough Lily. We’re stopping this conversation,” I stated firmly, in a dark tone I didn’t know I possessed. She shrugged but stopped and we began discussing the topic of rainbows, unicorns and fluffy bunnies.
Joking. I’m hilarious.
They were actually discussing how Louis had got together with Neville’s daughter, Alice. Honestly, do my family not care about anything other than relationships?
We all split up, the Hogwarts kids going back to school, and Fred went off as he was on an assignment with Uncle Ron about some suspicious activity down in Warwickshire. His goodbye was quite hesitant and quiet, very unlike Fred, and I couldn’t help but think he partly believed that Fro and I liked each other.
Even the thought makes me cringe.
“Why ya cringin’?” asked Fro, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Oh, nothing… Just the thought of us two dating.” She cringed as well.
“I know, I can’t believe your cousins actually think that. Anyways, race you down the hill?” There was a large grassy hill at the end of Hogsmeade, which was amazing fun to run down. Most of the time we fell down, and just ended up rolling down the hill.
We began running, laughing, until we fell, and began rolling down in a tangle of limbs.
She laughed loudly when I ended up straddling her at the bottom of the hill.
I knew we didn’t like each other, because none of this was awkward or sent my hormones into a range. I just wish everyone else would understand.
I bent down and blew into her ear, making her laugh.
“Stop! You know how ticklish-“
“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting a moment,” came a deep voice that I couldn’t mistake. It was Fred’s. And I was lying on top of Fro, me having just bent down to her ear looking as if I had nipped it, if someone was on the side that Fred was on.
Holy Lemon Fizzpops. Merlin- can you be on my side at least once?
A/N: :O WHAT IS THIS? What will Fred think? Are they gonna fall out? Is this a hint to a James/Fro? Or are James and Fro purely platonic? I shall let you wonder >:D
A review a day, makes me happay!:) (purposely spelt happy wrong so it rhymesJ)
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