Chapter 6 : The One with the Hog-tying
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Super sexy chapter image by Potterwatch124 at TDA! (This was actually the wallpaper on my phone for a week before Percy the Seagull replaced it).
We were beginning to get into the swing of things again and were gradually falling back into the normal school routine. Things had quietened down a lot since our ‘not-quite-attempted-murder-which-we-vowed-never-to-speak-of’ fiasco. We had confunded Snape and made a very hasty get-away. That was about two weeks ago and everything had gone smoothly since then.
We had been dutifully serving our detentions every second evening and this meant I had little to no time for homework, so I was staying up all night trying to get everything done. I now knew why all the ‘rebels’ never did their homework because they were spending all of their time serving time.
Detentions were boring anyway. James had been right though when he said I would probably be placed with Slughorn. I was doing most of the detentions with him; usually cleaning cauldrons or clearing out the potion supply cabinet, whilst listening to his incessant chattering about his famous former students but sometimes I had to serve them with Filch who was cruel. Sadistic in fact. He made me religiously polish the trophies, mop the great hall –by myself- and once or twice help the house elves. The last one wasn’t actually that bad; they were all really nice and gave me lots of cake.
I had been doing my patrols with James as well and they were always fun. We only had to do them twice a week and James made me laugh so much, I almost wished that it wasn’t just twice. Almost.
It was a Tuesday morning and I had decided to sleep in a little later today because I had been up until about 2am finishing my god-awful Arithmancy homework. I used to love numbers but now I couldn’t remember why I had taken the subject in the first place. It was a horrific class, with so much homework, I was drowning.
“OHMYMERLIN HELP!” I was jolted awake as someone began to scream. Diving out of bed, I grabbed my wand which lay on the dresser next to my bed and joined a half dressed Jess in running towards the bathroom where the screams seemed to be emanating from. We sprinted and ran straight into the hard oak door, bouncing off and landing on our butts.
The screaming got louder so we scrambled to our feet and this time gingerly opened the door, before running inside.
Molly was sitting on the floor screaming whilst orange flames engulfed her head and caressed her bare shoulders.
“Augamenti!” We both shouted, our wands pointed at Molly. A jet of water shot from the ends of our wands, immediately dousing the fire and sending Molly into the back wall.
“What were you doing?” I shouted.
“I was trying to dry my hair by myself but my wand got really hot and I dropped it in the sink of water. It sparked and BAM I was on fire.” Molly explained in a squeaky voice, wildly gesticulating and looking dubiously at her wand which was floating in the sink.
“Nice one Mol,” Jess laughed. I turned around and gave her a look.
“Jess it’s not funny Molly could have been seriously hurt!” I protested.
“Even I know it was funny.” Molly grinned, running a hand through her perfectly dry and slightly singed hair.
“Yeah I guess so. Did you burn yourself?” She shook her head. I sighed.
“Why do all of our mornings go like this?”
Nicola appeared in the doorway, hands on hips. “Dudes, get out of the bathroom now before I blast you all out.”
We recoiled. “”Yes ma’am,” we saluted and scurried from the room with our proverbial tails between our legs.
After everybody had dressed and Molly’s hair was no longer crispy, we raced down to the great hall.
“Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon” Molly chanted, sprinting through the corridors with us. “Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Baco-” She stopped abruptly as we arrived at the great hall. We stood in the door way and gaped.
The scene before us was chaotic; students were dancing on tables, suspended in mid-air, some even bathing in food. I suddenly felt a strange urge to skip around the hall, singing; ‘we’re off to see the wizaaaard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!’ I blinked in confusion and tried to push the thought from my head. It disappeared as quickly as it had come and only then did I realize that I was alone aside from Jess. Jess had a mixture of horror and desperation on her face, obviously also trying to get rid of the compelling thoughts as well.
I looked around wildly and spotted Nicola sliding down the syrup covered Hufflepuff table on a waffle tray, her arms held out to balance herself. Abi was galloping around the hall neighing loudly and occasionally stopping to nuzzle random students. I looked to my right and Jess was still stood there, gaping at the utter bizarreness of it all.
“Did you shake it off?” I asked. She nodded.
“I was so not about to do a pole dance.” Jess shuddered. I skimmed over the room and caught sight of Molly. Oh my god. Molly was stood on the teachers’ table, wiggling her hips and slowly unbuttoning her school shirt. She had already thrown her robes off and ripped her tie from her neck.
“Oh for the love of God, Jess stop her!” I shouted frantically. Jess darted to the raised platform. Just as Molly was about remove her blouse all together; Jess threw herself over the table, caught Molly around the waist and they both disappeared on the other side with a shriek. Thank god that could have been awkward.
“Got her!” Jess yelled. I rolled my eyes. “What do I do with her?” I considered it. We need to stop everyone shaming themselves any further, but how do we do it?
“Immobulus!” I pointed my wand at the hall’s ceiling. Everyone ceased moving and the time appeared to slow down. “Tie ‘em up!”
Roughly half an hour later everyone was successfully tied up –including most of the teachers- and Jess and I were doing a final scope of the hall in search for any run-aways. The doors flew open and the Marauders strutted in, looking very proud of themselves.
“Evans!” Sirius cried, looking around, horror-struck. “What have you done to all our hard work?”
I glared and Sirius took a step back. “Black,” I growled. “You did this?”
He grinned. “Hell yeah!” I turned to Remus incredulously.
“And you let him?!” Remus winked.
“I think assisted is the word.”
“Came up with the prank myself.”
“I was the erm lab rat.” The Marauders laughed.
“I think that’s a very appropriate word.” Remus chuckled.
“Moving on!” I shouted, irritably sticking my hands on my hips. “Jess and I had to help Professor Flitwick back into his trousers!” The Marauders burst into uncontrollable fits of raucous laughter.
“You- you had to what?” James stuttered, wiping tears from his eyes. I scowled and stamped my foot.
“WE HAD TO PUT ON FLITWICKS’ TROUSERS!” I shouted angrily. “DO YOU KNOW HOW AWKWARD THAT WAS? I WILL NEVER ENJOY CHARMS AGAIN!” This started the boys off again.
“Hey Lil what’s going on?” Jess’ head popped up from behind the Slytherin table.
“Oh I’m just talking to our little pranksters.” I replied through gritted teeth.
“You mean- they did it- OH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU LITTLE PRATS!” she yelled. Jess rolled over the table and raced towards us at full pelt. Instead of stopping like I thought she would, she kept going and ran straight into Sirius, knocking him clean off his feet. Jess landed on top of him and kicked him in the crotch as she fell.
“Oof.” The breath was knocked out of Sirius.
“You little-” I grabbed Jess and hauled her off.
“Come on Jess; let’s not waste our time with these idiots any longer.” I linked arms with Jess and we walked away with our noses stuck in the air.
A/N- Any guesses to what the prank is? It's really random and totally inspired by my friend Molly. I'm sorry for the length, but after all my editing this was what I ended up with. Reviews and favourites are loved!
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