The next day, I got up early again. I spent the extra time I used to on my makeup and hair and dressed the best I could. I doubted I’d run into Tyler today, but I had to keep up the appearance for everyone else too. I could cry at night, alone, in the Room of Requirement, but not now.
I did as Draco told me to do. I went to breakfast and tried to talk animatedly with Spencer as he just sat there, pushing food around. I’d tried for about ten minutes before giving up on the whole ordeal and trying to eat as quickly as possible. “I don’t believe you, you know.” He finally said in a low voice.
“What are you talking about?” I was genuinely confused.
“Your act. The whole ‘I’m just fine without you’ skit you’re putting on. I know how much you loved Tyler and I know you can’t be over you guys’ fight that quickly. You’re pretending. You might fool everyone else – might – but you’re not fooling me.”
I stared at him with an open mouth for a few seconds before coming to my senses and blinking a few times. “I still have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just fine.” I replied, standing up and throwing my napkin on the table before leaving the Great Hall. One hour through, only a few more to go.
Classes sucked worse than breakfast did. What sucked even worse was the one guy in every class who would try to hit on me. Guess I was fooling them.
Lunch went by slowly but smoothly. I didn’t even attempt to make conversation with Spencer this time, and ate as quickly as possible before starting my trek to my second half of classes. “Alix! Wait up!” Another Slytherin boy yelled. He was in Tyler’s year and the name Blake came to my mind. “Hey, I’m Blake Martin.” He reached towards me and took the bag off my shoulder and throwing it over his before sticking out his hand. I smiled and shook it politely right as someone rounded the corner. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and turned my head towards them unconsciously. It was Tyler and a different whore. He had his arm around her shoulders and a fake smile on his face as he noticed me. His smile faltered a little bit as he looked between me and Blake, before loosening his hold on Whore. All of this happened throughout a matter of seconds, before Tyler regained composure and tightened his grip, smiling again and strutting forward.
I looked back to Blake with my fake smile and started forward “Walking me to class Blake or were you planning on standing there?”
He smiled again and followed after me. I tried to pretend I wasn’t freaking out on the inside. I tried to pretend there wasn’t a gigantic lump in my throat that I was choking on. I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes, and the frown off my face. I must’ve been successful because Blake didn’t act like he noticed a thing. He kissed my hand and said goodbye to me, running to try to get to his class on time. I wondered briefly where his class was before walking into mine and settling in my seat for another day of taking notes, and going through the motions, but not actually remembering a single thing. Great.
Dinner was worse. Pretending got harder, and by the end of the night, I felt like I was gasping for air. I was nearly running towards the Room of Requirement. I paced by the door three times and when it was presented, threw it open and ran inside. There was a bed there, and I threw myself on top of it. This would be a lot harder than Draco said it would be. I wondered how he’d talked about it so nonchalantly. I cried for what felt like hours, and went straight back to my dorm when I was done instead of going to my see my parents.
I wondered when it’d get easier. This time I wasn’t trying to throw myself into a depression. This time, I was actually trying to go through my day to day activities and NOT look like a zombie. I laid there for hours and the last time I remembered checking the time was 3:23 AM.
I can’t fake another day,
I can’t face another night,
So I just take another breath and let it go. – Kenny Chesney, “Someday I Might Get Over You”
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