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I Solemnly Swear that I Love A Marauder by Rita Skeeter
Chapter 1 : I Solemnly Swear that I Didn't Do It (Lily)
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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Lily by Asphodelic@tda

Gryffindor Common Room

This was a joke, wasn’t it? Someone was going to jump out in a minute and shout "Gotcha, Lily!" in her face, right? And if that someone was Potter then she swore to Merlin that she… but it couldn’t be Potter- he was sitting right next to her trying to smooth talk his way out of trouble. Just because he could smooth talk Madam Pomfrey into letting him stay with his cronies when they were ill and he could smooth talk the gargoyle statues into letting him into Dumbledore's office without the password did not mean he would be able to smooth talk McGonagall into letting him go, free of punishment.

"Okay, Potter," the woman herself said, "You may go."

Lily’s jaw practically unhinged itself.

She was sure now that this had to be a joke! She was Lily Evans. Head Girl, good- no fantastic- grades, the model student! She did not do detention. Everyone had a thing that was theirs, that they were known to do. Professor Binns bored the pupils half to death. Potter terrorized Slytherins (or anyone he thought to be below him, for that matter). Marvin (also known as Quill Boy) whispered to his quills in the back of the classroom and stroked them with more care and affection than she’d seen from anyone in a long time. That was what they would do. She, for one, would study and get near-perfect grades. Potter would do detention! Sirius Black, Potter’s  best friend, would do detention! Lily did not. She had never been issued a detention and intended for it to remain that way for the rest of her time at Hogwarts.

"Miss Evans," McGonagall said, wrapping her night robes tighter around herself. Lily noticed that her perfect hair was only mildly askew considering the current hour. Lily also noticed that, despite his dismissal, Potter lurked only a few steps away by the foot of the staircase, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "The culprits will be sent straight to Professor Dumbledore. I am expecting that you may be able to shed some light on this. Please explain your evolvement in the... fiasco."

She gulped and fidgeted in her chair. She was completely innocent despite her glaringly obvious lack of proof. In fact, the fingers of blame were inclined to point to her. 

"Well," she began slowly, "It all started during Potions."

Potions Class
Lesson Six

"Hey. Evans."

She clenched her jaw, ignoring his whispers. Again.

"Evans," Potter tried again. Couldn’t he tell she was ignoring him? "Evans!"

She sighed, gripping the spoon with all her strength, my knuckles turning white with effort. Perhaps the wooden handle would absorb some of her agitation. It was times like this that she wished Slughorn wasn’t in favour of pre-assigned potions partners.

"Evans!" There was a long pause and she breathed a sigh of relief, clearly under the impression that he had given up, until- “Evans. Evans. Lily. Lily. Liiiii-lleeeeeeeeeeeee! Red. Red. Red. Evans! Lily! Red! E-"

"What?" she hissed angrily, slamming her spoon on the bench top. At the noise, Slughorn glanced up and scanned the room with his beady eyes before returning to the newspaper on his desk.

Potter grinned at her, tilting his head to the side and ruffling his absurdly messy hair. A tuft at the back was sticking up above the rest of it. "Hi."

She closed her eyes tight and took three deep breaths to remain in control of her frustration. When she was sure she wouldn't be tempted to force-feed him some of her half-brewed memory potion, she opened her eyes. He was just trying to get a rise out of her but she knew better than to give him the reaction he was looking for.

Lily turned her attention back to her potion, calmly stirring in the correct amount of powdered Fire-Beetle.

"Hey, Evans."

Without looking away from her potion she responded in a bored tone. "What is it, Potter?"

"You're pretty when you're mad."

She gritted her teeth blocked him out as best she could. Her potion was looking good so far. At this stage it was almost the intended colour; a pearly, fluorescent white. Lily’s was a few shades too yellow but she hypothesized that an extra dash of Fire-Beetle could fix that.

She reached for her quill to note the addition to the recipe on her textbook. Her eyes had been turned for less than thirty seconds when a cold, tingly liquid washed over her skin.

This could not be good.

"Merlin, I am so sorry! I really didn't mean to… it was an accident… let me help you," a boy with a strange accent cried. He popped up from the floor, also covered in the pearly potion. He was hovering his hands over her desk, unsure what to do with them, how to fix the problem he created. He clapped a hand to his mouth when Lily coughed, sputtering the potion out of her mouth and into her hand.

"I think you've done enough," a cold voice snapped.

" I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to,” the accented boy continued. He snatched a sheet of paper of the desk beside him and blotted some of the potion from Lily’s hair.

"You’ve done enough.”

The accented boy dropped the paper and shot Lily an apologetic look before covering his red face with his hands and rushing away from the boy with the cold voice. Lily looked at him- the one with the cold voice (and now a furious expression creasing his forehead)- and tried to remember his name. It was on the tip of her tongue. She recalled it started with a P. Piper? No... Peter? No, that wasn’t it either! Then she remembered.

"Leave him alone, Popper. You heard him- it was an accident."

Popper stared at her for a moment. "Did she just call me Popper?" he muttered to a boy with luscious hair that she wanted to touch.

"I think so, mate." The boy turned to her, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Evans!” Lily flinched at his volume. “His name is Potter, not Popper. Do you know who I am? You don't, do you?”

A rather rotund man in olive robes waddled over. "Mr. Black, she is not deaf, her memory has simply been blurred.”

"What is this?" Lily asked, lifting a particularly fancy-looking stick from her pocket.

"Her brains have been addled, more like," Mr. Black whispered loudly to Popper.

"You will pay for this," Popper snarled across the classroom to the boy who had spilled her potion.

Gryffindor Common Room

"Are you positive those were his words, Miss Evans?”

She bit her lip. "I… I can’t be sure. That’s how I remember it but the memory potion…I can't be quite sure." She knew the gravity of her accusations were she to be wrong. It was Potter, after all, so there was a very low possibility that she was wrong, but as Head Girl it was her duty to be air and truthful. "Is there anyone else you could ask?"

"We are speaking to all who were involved, however it was your wand found at the crime scene."

"It's not a crime scene, Professor! It was Potter and his idiot friends being bullies as usual! And I didn't even do it!"

Potter scoffed by the staircase. “Whatever happened to ‘the memory potion addled my senses and I don’t know anything’?” His impression of her voice was high pitched and whiny.

McGonagall ‘s mouth flattened into a thin line. "That’s enough from you, Mr. Potter. And regarding the potion, Madam Pomfrey gave you an antidote, correct?" Lily nodded and she continued. "Could you tell me what happened after you left the Hospital Wing?"

Great Hall

She passed through the heavy doors into the Great Hall, disappointed to see she’d already missed the beginning of dinner. All the best food was sure to be in short supply now. The ceiling was grey and cloudy, reflecting the sky outside and the loud conversation of the students mimicked the thunder crashes.

Lily thought she’d been shot when a streak of blonde flung her way and crashed against her body.

"You're okay! Thank Merlin you're okay! You had us all so worried! Mary wouldn't shut up and Marlene was pacing and I was so scared you’d never remember me again and don't even get me started on Potter, I’ve never seen him so concerned about anything! And then the new kid was all-"

Lily covered the rambling girl’s mouth with her palm. "Liv? Shut up."

Lily took her hand away and the girl pouted. "Sorry for being worried," she said with an eye roll.

Livia Lesser- or Liv, as she insisted on being called- was one of Lily’s best friends. Two weeks into first year, Lily had coached Liv through a rough patch where she’d often cried and insisted that she loved Sirius Black but Sirius Black had paid no attention to her. With Lily’s aid, Liv was quick to notice the off-putting ego and childish behavior of the dark-haired boy and that was the end of that.

Mary McDonald was another quarter of the group. She was Muggleborn like Lily, and for some time last year had a fling with Amos Diggory. Lily didn’t see the appeal, as he was a bratty and stuck up excuse of a human. Mary often justified that he was good where it counted “if you know what I mean,” to which Lily would blush and promptly change the subject. On the odd occasion, Lily sometimes wishes she’d allowed Mary to elaborate.

Marlene McKinnon was the glue that held the four girls together. Marley was Lily’s go-to for advice, particularly when the topic of that advice was dealing with Potter and his shenanigans. Much to Lily’s disapproval (because it gave Potter hope for their friendship) Marley was also fairly chummy with Remus Lupin. He was also the only Marauder that Lily could stand to be around without getting a very violent, very angry train of thought. And what in the name of Merlin's nose hair is a Marauder?

To a Muggle, a Marauder is a pillager, plunderer. To a student at Hogwarts, however, a Marauder is an asinine nuisance. A group of four Gryffindor boys- James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew- have been calling themselves 'The Marauders' ever since they became friends. Lily hated James Potter with a passion strong enough to reignite the gates of hell. He enjoyed long games of Quidditch, a hearty slice of treacle tart, and frequently harassing Lily with date proposals. Sirius Black was the white sheep of the Black family. He astounded the entire Hogwarts faculty when the Sorting Hat proudly announced him a Gryffindor and he hit it off with Potter right away. As the resident rebel and runaway, many girls had their eye on him and boy did he know it. Remus Lupin was clever and polite. Lily could never quite fathom how he’d ended up amongst the Marauders but she couldn’t deny that he fit right in. He was often ill but Lily was impressed by his ability to never fall behind despite missing the occasional class. Peter Pettigrew was the only seventeen year old that Lily had ever met who would still need someone else to make all his 'big' decisions. Peter Pettigrew was a contributor and a follower.

Lily felt sharp little taps against her cheek, snapping her back to reality.

"What’s going on in there?” Liv clicked her fingers in front of Lily’s face, causing her eyes to cross.” You've just been staring. It’s weird."

Lily shrugged. " It's a mechanism Pomfrey taught me to help the antidote until the potion wares off completely. Mentally rehashing everything I'm sure of is supposed to  make it happen quicker."

Liv began to pull her towards the table. "Try not to zone out every time you do it, it looks like you’re being rude and ignoring me. Oh, and also don't listen to whatever Potter says, okay?"

"Hello Evans, my beautiful girlfriend who loves me very much," Potter said, almost on cue, as Lily dropped onto the bench next to Mary. 

"She remembers she hates you arseface so drop the fantasy right now," Liv told him, piling potatoes onto Lily’s plate.

Potter turned to Lily and frowned. "Don't listen to her babe. She was always jealous of our true love and is trying to brainwash you into hating me! Don't listen to her, dammit!"

Flowers erupted out of mid-air, raining down on them. They fell onto the floor of the walk-way spelling out James + Lily, bordered by a love-heart. She rolled my eyes, opting for the good old silent treatment.

After a moment, someone cleared their throat behind her and she turned around to see a boy with brown hair. He looked vaguely familiar but she couldn't place him.

"Er, hi. I just wanted to apologize for knocking your potion on you. I didn't mean to, I promise.”

She frowned, wondering why she hadn’t met this boy properly before. She could tell by his accent that he was American and as Head Girl it was her job to know everyone at the school, particularly the transfer students.

"You're from Salem, aren't you?" she asked.

"I sure am. But I really am sorry for before," he said sincerely, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I knocked over my fair share of cauldrons back at my old school, too.”

"That was you? I thought Potter did it so he could convince me we were married or something."

Potter looked scandalized. "I would never! She told you that, didn't she?" he cried, pointing at Liv. "You… you female dog!"

Sirius barked and Livia rolled her eyes and pointedly turned her back on him.

"No, it was me," America said, shifting his weight nervously. "I'm really sorry. I felt really bad afterwards so I went with you to the Hospital Wing but you probably don't remember- you were pretty out of it."

She lifted her hand to cover her mouth. "Oh Merlin, what did I say?"

America smiled. "You didn't say anything. You just kept poking my face."

Lily groaned in embarrassment and felt her cheeks heat up. "Sorry,” she mumbled, not looking at him.

"Could have been my face you were poking," Potter muttered as he went back to his seat further down the table.

"So, I didn't catch your name," Lily prompted, taking a deep breath and swallowing her embarrassment.

"That's because I never gave you anything to catch." A broad smile spear over his face and he held out his hand to shake hers. "I'm Jack Elwood."

"Lily Evans.”

"I know," Jack smiled, shaking her hand. His voice was smooth and confident, almost a flirtatious air to it, but without the taint of arrogance she was used to. She couldn't help but notice he was still holding her hand though they were no longer shaking.

"Okay, you've had your fun," Potter said, reappearing at our end of the table and pulling their hands apart. "Time to go, now. I can show you around the castle if you'd like?"

Jack raised an eyebrow at the offer. "Sure, I guess."

"Lily, we’re going to now!” Marley said, tugging her arm. She gaped down at her untouched meal and hastily shoveled a few forkfuls of potato in her mouth as Marley dragged her away. Why did she have to go to? She went to reach for her bag but found it wasn’t there and gasped.

"I left my bag in the Great Hall!" she told Marley, pulling her arm free. “You go ahead, I’ll meet you back in the dorms.”

Lily threaded herself through the tight bustle of people leaving the Great Hall. She spotted her bag abandoned on the bench as soon as she entered. Grabbing it quickly and taking another potato for good measure, she noticed three Marauders watching her with wide eyes from further down the table.

“What?” she asked slowly, eyes scanning the room for the missing James. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“Nothing,” they said in unison and she shook her head at their weirdness before brushing it off and hurrying after her friends again.

Gryffindor Common Room

"When I got back to my dorm, my wand was gone from my bag and then all four of us searched the Great Hall and it wasn’t there so I know Potter stole it to prank Jack!"

"Miss Evans, you have no proof-"

Lily’s eyes lit up as an idea popped into her head. "Why don't we just ask Jack?"

McGonagall pressed her mouth into a thin line for the second time that night. "Well, yes, I suppose we could."

Earlier that night, Jack had been found in the dungeons, suspended from the roof by his elbows and knees like a puppet. Every half an hour his strings pulled, causing him to do some sort of merry jig and a sign hung next to him with a very rude name on it.

Lily’s wand was found on the floor, directly below Jack's feet.

McGonagall asked Lily to wait in the armchair she was currently occupying until she returned from Ravenclaw tower. The Proessor was gone all of thirty seconds when-

"Pssst! Evans!"

"What do you want?" Lily snapped in a tired, irate tone that clearly indicated that she did not care what he wanted.

"I want you."

“Disgusting,” Lily muttered.

"And you see, Evans, I always get what I want."

She clenched her teeth together. How can someone be so vile and still have friends?

"And I know you secretly want me too, Evans," Potter continued, ruffling his hair. "I bet you couldn't list five reasons not to like me."

Lily did not miss a beat.

"One, you're an idiot. Two, you're conceited. Three, you're not as 'hot' as you think you are. Four, you constantly get into  trouble. Five, you're an embarrassment to mankind."

Potter stared at her for a second, genuine disappointment etching itself on his face. "You don't think I'm hot?"

That was all he took from her list?

"Evans," Potter said again, dropping into the arm chair across from her. "I think you should consider anger management classes. You seem to be clenching your jaw at an unhealthy strength. Though the strong girls are the best ones."

Potter did not seem to realise her jaw was so tight because she was plotting his murder.

"And you’re feisty. That is the best mix I could ask for."

She raised my wand and shot ropes at Potter, binding him to his chair. Instead of her desired response, he grinned at her. "Kinky."

She raised her wand again to shoot a hex at him, genuine rage swelling in her chest.

"Miss Evans! What do you think you're doing?"

Lily spun around quickly to face McGonagall, hiding her wand swiftly behind her back. "I will not have my students dueling in the common room!"

"To be fair, Professor, we're not dueling," Potter drawled from behind Lily. "Evans was simply attacking me while I remained helplessly tied to a chair."

Her jaw dropped and she turned to face him. Was he serious? If he really wanted her like he claimed, he needed a lesson or two in courting a woman, it seemed.

"I’m sorry but my hands are tied. Miss Evans, you will attend detention Wednesday night with Professor Slughorn in the dungeons. Hexing another student is unacceptable. And Mr Potter, you will join Miss Evans as we have discovered that you were behind the prank played this afternoon."

Potter remained quiet. Lily, on the other hand, was trying to bite back tears. She has never had a detention before and she had tried so hard to keep her record clean. More than anything, she hated that the blemish on her clean slate was provoked by Potter.

"And before I go," McGonagall continued, standing up with the face of someone who did not have any good news to share, "the two of you are to attend sessions with the counselor I've arranged. They will be every Tuesday evening at seven o'clock sharp for the next month. Perhaps this way you will learn to be civil with each other. It is not fit for the Head Boy and Head Girl to fight like cats and dogs." With that, she departed.

Perhaps they will not learn to be civil. Perhaps Potter will accidentally fall in front of the Knight Bus. Perhaps Lily will trip and the only thing she can use to break her fall will be Potter's neck. Perhaps Potter will be eaten by a hungry, hungry hippogriff and they will all live happily ever after.

Lily sighed. That was highly unlikely. 

"Looks like it's just you and me, Evans!" Potter said cheerfully, throwing his arm around her shoulders. She shoved his arm off and swiped at a rogue tear on her face with the back of her hand.

Potter noticed her crying and was taken aback. “Wait, Evans are you alright? It’s just a detention-“

She folded her arms and sniffed, fully aware she was behaving like a petulant child. “Don’t talk to me.”

Potter opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

“This is all your fault, you belligerent arse.”

Always one with a flair for the dramatics, Lily turned on her heel, her robe whooshing around her. She stomped back up the stairs before he could say another word. Mumbling to herself as more angry tears burned her cheeks.

“I swear to Merlin I do not have anger management issues.”

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (that is JKR).. I only own Livia Lesser and Jack Elwood.

I hope you liked it! Reviews are much appreciated



Hi! I've had a sudden inspiration to rekindle my flame with this story that I regretfully abandoned YEARS AGO and I am revamping it a bit before I continue (hence the incongruity between the POV of chapter 1 and chapter 2 until I can edit chapter 2). Also, i you do happen to read Chapter 2 before I've edited it (before I've edited it, it is first person, after I've edited it, it will be third person), I reccommend you take everything in it with a grain of salt, as I will maybe (probably) change a whole heap of stuff like I did with this chapter.

I will warn you from now, updates may be slow (not years apart like it was up until now tbh) but I may not be able to churn out a chapter every week as I am busy with study but I will be trying! I have some cool places I want to take this fic :)

Also, please excuse any spelling/formatting errors, my laptop is a pile of trash and the F and S keys are dodgy.

I hope you all enjoy and welcome me back with open arms rather and pitchforks and torches for not updating in forever (although I would not blame you at all tbh).

Much love from a newly inspired writer xxx


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