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Killian Earhart Vs The Weasleys by Akussa
Chapter 3 : Killian Earhart Vs Lucy Weasley
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 12

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A.N. This chapter goes to the amazing ariellem; without her help, it would not have been written so quickly. Thanks for lending me your muse Ariellem!!  And the amazing Image was once again made by Meghan at TDA!


 Monday morning, as I slowly eat my porridge, Romulus brings me information about the next confrontation. The owl drinks pumpkin juice out of my goblet and I can’t help but shoo it away, looking at him with disgust. This is just wrong; I do not want to drink owl spit so why does it want to drink human spit? Romulus and I definitely aren’t made for each other.

Looking at the letter, I feel surprised and rather excited. Lucy is taking the stand this time around and she requests our presence at lunchtime, in the Great Hall for her official duel with Killian Earhart. I can’t think what she wants to do because I can’t think of what there is to do in here; it’s just an extra large room with tables and benches in it. Unless she’s learned how to take all that away so she has more space to battle a guy that is 4 years older than her, I think this will be a seated confrontation.

It’s a slow morning, and both Lily and Eliana take the opportunity to question me about the next confrontation. All I can tell them is to make sure that they will spend the entire lunch time in the Great Hall and nowhere else. I actually manage to keep secret the name of the cousin that will be challenging Killian Earhart. Alright, they decide to leave me alone after a couple minutes and I think they are loving this a lot and want to keep the mystery. I think I would like that too as well, if I weren’t involved. Now what will I confront the guy with... After an utterly boring History class, we can finally go and have our lunch. I hardly manage to not run there.

I’m so excited that I can barely eat anything. The fact that it’s kidney pie isn’t helping either. Who in their right mind would eat something that has the word ‘kidney’ in it? I see Rose is eating some. Then again, she bonded with Romulus at some point in her life so I highly doubt her mind is intact.

The Great Hall is alive with laughter and heated discussion when Lucy Weasley, the tiny third year Gryffindor crosses the huge doors leading into the room. A good part of the Gryffindor table goes silent when they notice her arrival and I look at her with trepidation. Merlin, there has got to be something wrong with me.

Lucy looks flushed and fidgety as she takes a deep breath and puts her wand to her throat, most likely casting a sonorus charm at herself. When she opens her mouth, I can confirm that she has mastered the spell as her voice echoes off the stone walls of the ancient room. The entire Great Hall goes silent and I feel a bit queasy thinking that she has raised the bar, capturing the entire school’s attention. What am I going to have to do to top that when my time comes?

“Killian Earhart,” she calls in a strangely unwavering voice, “you managed to win against Albus Potter yesterday in the beater duel. It is now my turn to challenge you to a Hot Dog Eating Contest right here and now.”

“What’s that about?” Killian says, an incredulous snort escaping him as he takes in Lucy’s small stature. Following his lead, the entire Great Hall explodes into laughter. Except for her relatives - we know that Lucy is a monster; her stomach is an endless pit. She is certain to win this.

“Should you ever become a part of our family, you need to prove that your stomach can take it. G-Mum is the best cook around and she will have your head if you don’t finish your third helping of food,” Lucy continues when the laughter diminishes a bit. Killian looks at Molly and, although she looks frighteningly angry at her younger sister, Molly nods her head, confirming what her little sister just said.

“Alright.” Killian stands up and walks toward Lucy, the people around him still chuckling. “So what exactly do you mean by that? The one that eats it faster? The one that eats the most hot dogs in 5 minutes?”

“No, the one that eats the most hot dogs, no time limit other than the regular lunch time allotted,” Lucy explains, sitting down on one side of the Hufflepuff table. “Killian Earhart, do you accept the challenge in order to prove that you have what it takes to be with my sister?”

“Sure I do,” Killian says, smiling as he sits down on the other side of the table.

The entire student population rises in one motion and presses themselves around the two adversaries. Some first years even climb up on the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables in order to get a good view of the scene. I stand next to Lucy and watches as Molly makes her way next to her boyfriend, sending dark looks in her sister’s direction. Lucy takes it with a smile. Good girl, we should hang out a bit more, she could teach me how to deal with fear.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” a male voice suddenly announces next to me. I notice Matt Lavoie standing at the end of the table between the contestants and he looks overjoyed. “Welcome to Hogwarts’ first ever Hot Dog Eating Contest opposing two very unlikely contestants.”

That boy is in his element. He’s been the quidditch commentator for the past 4 years and he is great at it. He’s got a professional voice and quite the talent for capturing the crowd’s attention. Just like in quidditch matches, when Matt starts talking, the crowd goes silent and awaits expectantly his lively description. Matt is great; quidditch won’t be the same when he leaves in two years.

“On the east side, weighing in at 80 pounds and standing tall at 4 foot 10, we have thirteen year-old Gryffindor, Lucy Weasley!” Matt bellows. The crowd cheer loudly as Lucy blushes slightly. “On the west side, weighing in at 185 pounds and standing tall at 6 foot 1: seventeen year-old Hufflepuff, Killian Earhart!”

The crowd cheers even more as Killian raises his fists in the air like a winner. A gigantic pile of hot dogs appears out of nowhere on the table right between the two contestants. The crowd surrounding them becomes silent as Killian playfully glares at Lucy.

Lucy looks very tiny next to this oaf but I know he shouldn’t underestimate her. Looking at the crowd, my gaze meets with Fred and he seems to think along the same line as me. He points at Killian and laughs silently. I agree wholeheartedly; the guy will explode before Lucy is done with her appetizer.

Killian, and everybody else who isn’t related to us, looks at Lucy like she is crazy to even challenge a boy this size with this kind of competition. I like it a lot. That’ll show them that size isn’t important.

“The rules are as follow: there are 30 minutes left to lunch time so the one person between Lucy Weasley and Killian Earhart that eats the most hot dogs in that period of time, wins the challenge,” Matt continues boisterously; his large brown eyes alight with excitement.

That boy loves being the center of attention a bit too much in my opinion. I wonder if he’ll get a job in radio after school; he’d be good at it. Or maybe muggle acting although I don’t know if he knows that exists. I should check with him whether he was raised with some muggle knowledge or – wait. Now is not the time to think about Matt Lavoie’s heritage.

“Should Killian win, he gains the right to keep his relationship with one Molly Weasley, sister of the challenger,” he continues to the spell bounded crowd. “In the case where Lucy Weasley should win, Killian Earhart will therefore fail his acceptation in the Weasley family. There is a lot at stake ladies and gentlemen: the heart of the Gryffindor quidditch captain is at stake and that could come into play in the performances of the team in the coming weeks.”

I did not anticipate that as a potential outcome. Matt has a very big imagination and he is so right! The stakes are definitely high for the quidditch cup; would Molly be able to bring her team to their third cup in a row if we sabotage her relationship with Killian? I’m absolutely loving this; Matt just brought in a new level of competition and I don’t care if that makes me a sadistic, I accept it with open arms.

“Challengers get ready,” Matt says in a lower voice, sending a chill through the crowd. “Both hands on the table in front of you, you can go for your first hot dog in : three,” he says in a louder voice.

“Two,” the crowd shout with him. Killian and Lucy are holding each other’s gaze, their hands tensing up on the table.

“One,” the crowd finally says after a couple seconds of silence. Both Lucy and Killian look ready to attack the pile of hot dogs and await the signal nervously. Merlin this stress is going to kill me and I’m not even sitting at that table.


As soon as the crowd signals the opening of the competition, the two contestants grab a hot dog and start munching furiously. The students around them cheer loudly and I can’t help but join in. The support seem to be pretty equally divided between Killian, the obvious most likely to win, and Lucy, the underdog. I think they may have pity for her. Or maybe they think she’s stupid for putting herself into that position in the first place. I can’t decide for sure whether the student population rooting for my cousin is sympathetic or if they want to ridicule her.

“Come on dumb kid, you’re only two behind him,” a Slytherin bloke calls loudly behind me. Ridicule it is, I think before falling back a foot behind with my elbow out and inadvertently hitting him in the ribs with all my strength. Merlin, what an unlucky accident.

“Killian is in the lead, finishing his third hot dog at the speed of light,” Matt comments, keeping me from hearing the students’ nasty comments against my lovely cousin. “He seems to be slowing down a bit though and underdog Lucy, with her steady rhythm is finishing up her second hot dog and starts on her third one.”

“Killian is done with hot dog number four and oh -” the commentator is interrupted by a loud belch from the Hufflepuff - “is it just me guys or did that belch sounded heavy?”

“I’d say greasy,” a voice shouts in the crowd making everyone laugh, including me. I personally think you could hear the air passing through the food but I won’t say that out loud. To me, it’s an indicator that Killian Earhart, with four hot dogs down, is getting close to the end.

“And will you guys see that?” Matt says in a very surprised tone. “For the very first time since this competition started, Lucy Weasley has taken the lead as she finishes her fifth hot dog as if it was the first she ate! Maybe she did know what she was doing when she challenged Killian with this.”

“Yes she did,” I say happily at the same time as all of my cousins, even Molly although she, unlike us, says it through clenched teeth.

“Hey Luce,” Molly suddenly says with a mischievous grin as Lucy takes a bite into her sixth hot dog while Killian is still stuck on his fifth one. “Remember the hot dog eating contest we had last summer? Sorry to tell you like this but, your pile wasn’t made of real sausages.”

“What was it?” Lucy slowly asks with her mouth full of the last bite of hot dog number six.

“A bunch of poorly transfigured half-dead slugs that Dom was too lazy to throw away.” Molly shakes her head in mock sadness. “I’m sorry, but I just had to tell you.”

“Is it true?” Lucy asks Louis, her wide eyes pleading for him to tell the truth. And, for that truth to be that Molly is lying. I don’t know if it’s true, I wasn’t there. Dom could totally pull it off though, it’s her style.

“Err,” Louis mumbles, looking at Molly with daggers in his eyes. I wonder if it’s true; Louis never mumbles. Just that moment of hesitation from Louis leads me to believe it’s true. I hope it’s not; that would be disgusting. Even more disgusting then all the crap Romulus pulls.


When realization comes crashing on Lucy, she stops chewing and her face shows the unmistakable features of disgust as her mouth twists and she wrinkles her nose. Well played Molly. Most likely, probably - and I definitely hope - lying to get Lucy so grossed out, she won’t be able to eat another hot dog. Well played indeed.

“Eww,” Lucy says as she picks up her seventh hot dog, looking at it in despair. She takes a bite and chews on it a couple times before swallowing with difficulty. “Why are you doing this Molly?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this is what this was all about,” Molly answers in mock surprise. “You share your opinion on my life and relationship with Killian and I share secrets and opinions on your life. Do you want to know more?”

“Yes,” the crowd answers Molly’s question but the girl in question ignores them and keeps her sweet gaze fixed on her naive little sister.

“It’s up to you now,” Molly tells Killian as she passes a hand through his hair, still smiling at Lucy who puts down her half eaten seventh hot dog in defeat.

“And we have a contestant down with six and a half hot dogs eaten,” Matt shouts as Lucy crosses her arms angrily. “It is none the less a very impressive quantity for a girl her size, I think you will all agree with me, right?”

“Yeah, well done!” the students respond, congratulating Lucy in what sounds like an honest way. She exceeded by far what they were expecting but I know she could have done significantly better than that. Without Molly’s intervention, Lucy could have downed at least 10 hot dogs without beating an eyelash.

“With these juicy revelations, Killian seems to have found a second wind - or at least a second stomach,” Matt continues, describing how Killian is indeed biting into his sixth hot dog. “He still has two full hot dogs to eat in order to be declared a winner. Should he stop at six and a half like his opponent, we will measure the remaining pieces in order to either declare the winner or a tie.”

Although he’s now has a light pale green shade, Killian swallows the last piece of his sixth hot dog with difficulty before taking another one in his hand. The crowd now encourages him loudly and he sighs, taking a small bite into the food.

“Killian Earhart has begun is seventh hot dog,” Matt comment in his best suspense filled voice. He turns to Lucy and with a sad smile, he asks, “Lucy, I’m offering one last chance to get back into this competition even though you stepped out willingly. Are you interested?”

Lucy unfolds her arms as the crowd loudly encourages her to do so. She picks up her discarded half hot dog and opens her mouth to bite. As her eyes fall onto the sausage though, her face takes that horrified look it had on earlier and she puts the hot dog back onto the table, shaking her head at Matt.

I get that; I can imagine the sausage twisting madly, trying to get out of the bread as well. The crowd sounds disappointed but I put a hand on her shoulder to let her know that I’m still proud of her. I wouldn’t have touched that hot dog either after Molly put that disgusting image in my mind.

“This is it ladies and gentlemen,” Matt says in that voice only he masters. “If Killian takes one more bite, he will be declared our champion and win the right to keep on dating Molly Weasley. Is he going to do it?”

I look back at him and I really wonder if he’ll do it. The pale green tinge has now turned into an ash sort of color and he looks like he has all the difficulties in the world at keeping the previous six and a half hot dogs down. Nevertheless, he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes tightly and shoves the last bit of his seventh hot dog in his mouth. Mechanically, he chews on it and swallows rapidly. The crowd starts cheering and I join in; that was a good fight although he would definitely have lost if Lucy’s mind had been cleared. If just proves that Molly will be a part of this competition from now on. It’s fair play; it is her boyfriend after all. Lucy stands up after a short moment and the crowd goes silent, not knowing what to expect.

“Killian Earhart,” she says loudly, her voice holding absolutely no trace of anger or disappointment. Apparently, even she understands that her sister’s involvement was fair. “You have won the second confrontation.”

“How many more will there be?” Molly asks, annoyed. She turns to her sister and raises her eyebrows expectantly, but Lucy responds by smiling coyly and ignoring her.


A million thanks to the great Kenpo for working her beta-magic on this chapter! 

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