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Bang Bang Boom by redandblacksunset
Chapter 1 : Prologue Part One: Lobsters, Overgrown Doorknobs, Blackmail and Toast
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 1

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Authors Note: I own nothing except Olivia, Sam, Rhys, Sarah, Noah and any other original characters + the plot, the rest belongs to Rowling who I envy everyday :P

This has been betaed by the awesome sauce SevLovesMe!! 

by the awesome Saranghae @ TDA!

Rooney Mara as Olivia Longbottom
Logan Lerman as Samuel Longbottom
Bradley James as Rhys Cavanaugh
Zooey Deschanel as Sarah Jacobs


"... there was a lobster at Jesus's birth."

"There was not, you moron."

"Was too! The telly even said so!"

"So, if the telly informed you that Elvis was alive and well, living as a vampire in China, you'd believe it. Am I hearing this right, Cavanaugh?"

"… Is he really?"

The sound of Sarah hitting her palm against her forehead echoes through the Great Hall.

"How in the Sam Hill are you in Ravenclaw?!"

There was a long pause.

"Sarah, Sam's right there," the light haired boy points to the darker haired boy sitting across from him (who looks like he wants to hide under the table), "and his last name is Longbottom, not Hill."

She doesn't know if he's just riling up Sarah or if he's serious. She's never been able to tell.

The one known as Sam looks at the girl sitting next to him, his blue eyes wide, before turning back to the arguing duo as Sarah's face grew redder by the second. The look on the chestnut haired girl's face was slightly homicidal.

"Don't bring me into this!" Sam says, waving his arms in slight panic as Sarah turns an even more vibrant red as the blonde moron looks at the siblings with an expression on his face that says 'oh I am so clever. Bow down to me.'

What. A. Git.

Olivia just smiles softly at her brother, a look of slight pity on her face, yet amusement is dancing in her half shut eyes at the daily fight of Sarah Jacobs and Rhys Cavanaugh.

The fights between the gullible Brit and the easily annoyed half British/half Canadian were just as legendary as Harry Potter himself.

To Olivia though, it was just another day at Hogwarts and another day of wondering when the sexual tension between the two was going to end.
In fact, there were times Olivia just wanted to order them to make out so she could get some peace and quite. They argued about everything: from the lunch menu to the name of the exact shade of Sarah's hair.

"Sarah, calm down. He can't help that his I.Q. is lower then his age," the sand haired one looks offended and is probably about to yell when the darker haired girl interrupts him.

"Rhys, where's Noah?"

The words die in his throat, but he still has an annoyed expression on his face which, to Olivia, makes him look like a constipated weasel.

"It's Saturday, which means--"

"He's sleeping in."

“I managed to wake him up for ten minutes, he even got mostly dressed before he quit and went back to bed,” Rhys tells her, his mouth showing the chewed up sausage he was currently consuming. This is quickly followed by a smack to the head from Sarah, telling him to chew with his mouth closed.

A small smile appears on her face as they begin to bicker again and as she shakes her head in amusement, Olivia stands up, but not before grabbing a piece of toast dripping with butter.

Taking a bite out of one of the slices and ignoring the arguing 'couple', she points to her brother.

"Samuel Jonathan Longbottom, I pass my title of 'referee' to you for the next… four hours or so. Feel honoured."

He shouldn't and he knows this.

Sam's eye widens comically.

"What?! No! No way, Liv! Find someone else!"

"Yes, you or I tell Da why Trevor the second turned bright pink last spring and what happened to Mum's favourite cooking pot."

His blue eyes narrow at her and it unnerves her for a moment how much he looks like both their parents when they are angry. On the one hand, he looks very much like their Da with the dark hair, baby blue eyes and facial structure, besides that Sam takes after his mother's family with a weedy like frame, freakishly large feet and angry expressions (along with flailing of the hands).

How girls (and some of the male gender) find her brother attractive is beyond Olivia Allison Longbottom's understanding. He will always be the snot nosed kid who gave her chicken pox and fed her favourite doll to a carnivorous plant her father was babysitting for a colleague (she later got him back by forcing him to have a tea party with her and his cup was that of the nose-biting variety).

"Diabolical fiend."

Olivia just waves a hand as if swatting away the insult. She's used to them by now and has been called many things in her seventeen years by her four brothers. 'Diabolical fiend' was tame compared to things Ethan, David, Sam and even her youngest brother Tom had called her.

"Have fun, Sammy," she tells him before ruffling his dark hair and earning yet another glare.

He won't. She doesn't. Yet someone has to do it or else Sarah and Rhys would either:

a) murder each other violently and publicly

or b) make out ferociously only to lead to them shagging violently and publicly.

And Olivia didn't want to deal with the mental scars of witnessing either of those events or having others witness it and probably be admitted to St. Mungo's for life.

"Why do you need four hours to wake up Wood anyways?" he yells at her retreating form followed by a whimper as Sarah and Rhys go at it yet again (what about Olivia isn't sure, probably Elvis though).

Eyeing the stairs with great distain, she quickly finishes her toast before beginning her journey.

It only takes Olivia ten minutes to reach Ravenclaw Tower. Over the past seven years, she has found the quickest route, but it still makes her catch her breath and her heart pounds like a Bludger against her ribcage.

She isn't athletic, that is Rhys and Noah's thing. Merlin, she can't even walk up a single flight of stairs without loosing her breath.

The door-knocker is about to give her the riddle when she holds up a hand.

“Hang on a minute! Let a girl catch her bloody breath! Brains need oxygen too you know.”

If she didn't know better, Olivia would think that the bronze door knocker thing-a-majig looked peeved (random fact: there is such thing as a thing-a-majig).

Could enchanted hunks of metal looked peeved?

Merlin, she knew it could look amused (as it did when people gave completely wrong/stupid answers to it's riddles and forced that first year has to sit outside in the freezing corridor for three hours in the middle of winter, past curfew only to get detention by the now ancient caretaker Filch's equally creepy assistant Laury and the evil Mrs. Norris' son Mr. Whiskers and a terrible cold {yes, Olivia has issues with the door knocker}).

There was some times though, she thought it was sadistic with the riddles it gave the first years when they were all alone.

The bronze eagle gives her a look, at least she thinks it does, as if it is waiting impatiently.

If it had feet (or claws or whatever they're called), Olivia would bet all her galleons (all fifteen of them in her trunk) that it would be tapping them with it's wings crossed in front of it/him/her, probably looking like her great-grandmother Augusta.

Now that she thinks about it, the door knocker looks somewhat like the creepy ass bird on her Nana's hat, but more shiny.

They both even glare at her the same way.

Suppressing a shudder, she looks at the hunk of metal.

“I am kind of in a hurry, so... can I get an easy one?”

“What word can be written forward, backward or upside-down and can still be read from left to right?”

Guess not.

Olivia bites her lip in thought, a habit that, paired with her chapped lips, led to slightly bloody lips.

A small smile suddenly forms on her lips.

“Noon written all in capitals.”

As the door opens, she swears the overgrown door knob glares at her.

She steps into the Ravenclaw common room, not acknowledging the few people sitting there doing homework. Instead she makes a bee-line for the boys dormitory staircase.

Surprisingly, this doesn't cause any whispers as Olivia tends to spend more time in the boys' dormitory with her friends (and occasionally her brothers after sneaking them in) then she does in the girls' dormitory.

Taking the steps two at a time, she quickly reaches the seventh year boys room only slightly out of breath.

Not even bothering knocking, she enters the room and the door shuts behind her with a thud.


So I started writing this and it got to be 3000+ words so I decided to split the prologue into two parts, this chapter and the next which will be up in the next few days :)

Please review and tell me what you think! :)

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