Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognise, which includes the title and lyrics in the summary. They belong to The Fray. Any characters which you may recognise, belong to JK. Rowling.
Rebecca Nelson, in all her years of therapy had never quite met a girl like Lucy Weasley. It was quite a shame that the girl was slightly off. A very bright girl she could be.
“Is there a particular reason you asked to see me today?” Rebecca tilted her head to a side, a standard shrink position.
“What do you suppose death feels like Ms. Nelson?” The young girl asked with those disturbingly wide eyes. Rebecca Nelson had many patients in her twenty five years of therapy; drunks, killers, even a past death eater, but none of them could quite prepare her for the young woman that stood before her.
Her eyes were wide and disturbed, as though she had seen things, which many her age should not. She had a stare that was as though she could see into your soul, seek out your darkest secrets, and laugh about them. It was a frightening stare.
“I suppose it’s quite peaceful.”
The answer did not satisfy Lucy, for she continued to pace around the small office. “Do you suppose that death is a punishment? That, when you do something wrong, you have to die?” Lucy had sat down now. Her eyes as wide as ever, filled with an emotion that Rebecca could never quite put her finger upon.
The question had shocked the therapist so much. Never in the six months that she had Lucy as a patient, had she ever been quite responsive. Most lessons the girl would sit and stare at Rebecca, and reply to her questions vaguely. Rebecca Nelson hastily reached for her book; the one in which she recorded any suspicious behaviour.
Lucy was still staring at her therapist, with such calm that you wouldn’t quite expect from someone of her predicament. “Because you see Ms. Nelson, I’ve killed someone, and when you kill someone that makes you sick.”
Silence struck the room. Ms. Nelson looked at Lucy with a look of such shock, it almost gave Lucy pleasure. Almost. Because you see, Lucy’s a killer. A murder to be exact. In fact, she killed her own cousin.
And Lucy was sick. Very sick indeed.
Lily Luna Potter’s death was a great shock to the wizarding world, a young girl of only fourteen, she was as healthy as a horse. It was a blow to her entire family when after a night out with her dearest cousin, and best friend Lucy Weasley, that when the muggle police had phoned home to say that Lily Potter had drowned; there was mourning in the wizarding community.
“I’m sure you heard about it Ms. Nelson? That fateful night when it all went wrong, we were playing around the canal, when Lily fell in. Worried and shocked, I ran to the nearest police station, but by that time, it was too late. Lily had drowned.”
“But you see, that’s not the entire truth.” Lucy was grinning manically now, and Rebecca Nelson feared for her own safety. “ You see Ms. Nelson, that night, Lily and I fought, it was a terrible fight. Lily told me I was ugly, and stupid, and that Lorcan Scamander would never fancy me; that she was the prettiest, and smartest, and that I was a pathetic fool to even believe that Lorcan would even think twice about me.” The young girl was sobbing now, her head shaking, as she recounted the tale of that fateful night, over seven years ago.
“So I pushed her, I was so angry you see? I mean, my entire life I had always been compared to Lily. Lily this, Lily that, I mean even after she died, they still compare me to her?” Lucy laughed bitterly, Rebecca was paralysed. “So I pushed her in, and as she fell, I regretted it. I regretted it immediately. She was coughing and yelling and crying, and I was so scared that she would drown, and I ran away, like a right coward, and I waited, for around an hour, and then I ran for help.” Lucy sobbed.
It was quite ironic, Lucy thought to herself. Even after Lily’s death, Lucy was still compared to Lily in every way possible, it was as though Lily was still alive. Even Lorcan Scamander had yet to utter a word to her after Lily’s death, he was, after all, mourning his dead girlfriend. A first love could never be replaced.
Because that was the one thing that Lucy forgot. That even after Lily’s death, they would always look back on Lily as beautiful, perfect, wonderful, saintly Lily. They would always remember the good bits. They would never think about how Lily was snotty, and bratty and a bully. That she was spoilt and rude. For in the eyes of everyone around her, Lily would forever be young and innocent and perfect; and Lucy would always be the poor girl who watched her best friend die.
She could imagine Lily’s sneer. “Poor little Lucy.” She would say, and then walk away cackling, flipping her long auburn hair with her.
Lily’s hair was fiery red, Lucy’s was a mousey brown. Lucy almost smirked at the irony of it. How well their hair colours match their personalities.
Seven years, Lucy had lived. Filled with guilt at the fact that she killed Lily Potter.
She is a sick person. A sick, sick person, who deserves to die. Lucy thought to herself, it was ironic, terribly, terribly ironic. That after that awful night, Lily will forever haunt her, with whispers and jeers of not being good enough. That no matter how hard she tries, Lucy Weasley, will always be in the shadow of Lily Potter.
She broke down right there, right there in front of Rebecca Nelson. You would think that Rebecca Nelson would be calm, and know how to deal with such things. But the truth was that she didn’t. Nothing, in all her years of practice, would ever prepare her for the sight of Lucy Weasley sat in front of her, lost and broken.
She felt as though she should comfort the poor girl. Say something to assure that she was okay, that everything would be okay, but deep down in her head, Rebecca knew that the girl had been damaged beyond repair.
The most she could for Lucy Weasley, was to listen.
That was, after all, what she was being paid for. So that is what Rebecca Nelson did. She listened, she listened as Lucy poured her heart out, describing every insult, every painful sentence Lily Potter said to her.
Lucy Weasley, knew that there was no solution. She was falling, deeper and deeper inside herself. Every time she left the comfort of her own mind, the voices returned, the voices which claimed she was not worthy. She deserved to die, that she was a worthless piece of scum.
Lucy tried to drown the voices out, but they wouldn’t leave. Everywhere she looked, everything she heard, everything she saw, reminded her of the fact that she wasn’t good enough.
It may have been Lily who drowned in that river seven years ago, but now, seven years later it was Lucy who was drowning inside her guilt, and she had to save herself, in the only way she knew how.
And that night, when Lucy left her office, Ms. Nelson could not help but notice the look of sincerity that Lucy had when she said her mandatory goodbyes. It was as though it was final.
That morning Rebecca received a phone call from the St. Mungo’s Home For The Mentally Unstable.
At six o’clock A.M that morning; Lucy Emmeline Weasley had been found in her bedroom. Dead. The time of death was roughly at half past five in the morning. At least twenty minutes from the time Lucy had left her office.
Her family would soon be notified shortly the receptionist simply thought that Ms. Nelson should be the first to know, after all Lucy often looked forward to her sessions.
So as Rebecca Nelson lay there in her bed, next to her husband, with the light turned off, safely in her home, with her children asleep calmly in their bedrooms. Rebecca could not help but laugh at her luck.
How ironic, Rebecca thought bitterly, that with all the magic and books they had, no one quite seemed to know how to save a life.
A/N: My very first one-shot, had this idea in my head for a while now, I’m not sure if it turned out right or not, but I suppose I’m quite proud of it. Though, I’m not quite used to writing in third person, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it all.
Note: The song ‘How to Save a Life’ belongs to The Fray, I was simply using it as inspiration.
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