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What ever happened to Dudley Dursley? by Ms_D_Longbottom
Chapter 5 : Penny Problems
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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AUTHOR'S NOTE; First things first. I'm soooo sorry for such a long wait for an update, i'm truely ashamed of myself. I've just been so busy dealing with the world that is reality. Work, study ect... but i'm sure you don't want to hear my excuses. Here's the next chapter. It's small I know I apologise but with the holidays hopefully i'll have a few up in no time.

Thank you.

Don't forget to review people! I <3 reviews!






You know the feeling when you wake up and can’t remember where you are? Yea well picture picture waking up to an elf standing on your stomach peering down at you and being so shocked you fall out of bed. That’s pretty much how my morning started.

“Master Harry sent Kreacher to wake Mr Dursley. Breakfast is ready sir.” The old elf squeaked.

“Hmmm... right, thanks Kreacher. I’ll be right down.” I yawned picking myself up off the ground.

“Kreacher will tell Master Harry... Are you okay sir?” The elf raised an eyebrow at me.

“I’m fine Kreacher, thanks” I replied rubbing my head where it broke the impact of my tumble out of bed.

“Oh... and Master Harry also mentioned that there is a... post box... in the town if you wanted to send Miss Penny a letter” the elf added, pausing for a second at post box, before disappearing with a crack.

Does wanting to send Penny a letter barely two days after last seeing her seem desperate? Yea I guess it does... but then again if you add posting time it doesn’t seem that desperate anymore...does it? Oh well I’ll send her one anyway. I dressed and went down stairs to the kitchen.

I’m telling you I love Mrs Weasley’s cooking but god it’ll be the death of my diet if I stay here much longer... it all smells, looks and tastes so good. Toast, sausages, eggs, bacon and hash browns... I’m in food heaven. But I have to stick to just two slices of toast.

“Are you sure you don’t want any more love?” Mrs Weasley asks kindly. I’m sure I want more... but it’s a temptation I must turn down.

“Thanks Mrs Weasley but I’m trying to cut back a little, loose a bit of weight”

“Join a gym” Harry chuckled.

“Hush you... I can diet if I want” I replied sticking my tongue out at him.

“Never said you couldn’t... but let’s just see how long it lasts. Not too long, you love your food too much”

“I did... now I don’t. I’m turning my life around remember?” I told him confidently.

“Right... so what job did you manage to get yourself then?” He asked sipping his tea.

“Pardon?” I replied not sure what he meant.

“What’s your job?” He repeated.

“I don’t have one...yet” I admitted.

“Well then how are you paying rent?” He asked concerned.

“I took some money out before I cut off mum and dad.”

“That won’t last you long Dud, have you even looked for a job?”

“I’ve kept an eye on the paper...”

“But never followed through...” he replied cutting me off and looking at me disappointed.

“There’s nothing I like the look of!” I defended myself.

“It’s not forever, just until you find something better.”

“I suppose...”

“Listen... I told Dromeda we’d meet her in Diagon Alley, that’s in London so once we’re finished we’ll go into muggle London and go look for something.” He sighed.

“Okay then... what time are we going?” He looked down at his watch.

“I said I’d meet her outside Florean Fortescue’s ice-cream Parlor in ten minutes so once I’ve finished my tea.”

“An ice-cream parlor... Are you trying to torture me?!” I laughed.

“That was the plan” He chuckled. “No not really, it’s just where we agreed to meet there for lunch. Teddy’s only little so we won’t be there long”

“How old is Teddy anyway?” I asked.

“About a month.”

“Jesus... He is a little tike”


Something Harry probably should have warned me... that Teddy can change his freaking appearance! Imagine my shock at one minute holding a perfectly normal looking baby and then the next holding one with bright blue hair! Blue I tell you! Imagine if Harry could do that when he was little, mum would have had kittens!

“He’s a metamorphmagus.” Harry said simply as we entered my side of London.

“A bloody what?” I asked.

“Metamorphmagus. He can change his appearance at will, just like his mother could. Not everyone can do it without some form of spell or potion.” He answered.

“Thank god you couldn’t. Mum would’ve had...”

“Kittens?” he finished laughing.

“Yea kittens. So...”

“Dudley!” I heard a voice call out behind me.

Harry and I turned around and saw Penny practically sprinting towards us. Oh bugger.

“Hey...” I replied, giving her a hug.

“So this is Miss Penny I hope big D...” Harry smiled. I wanted so badly to kick him; he was going to play this to his advantage...

“Big D?” She laughed “Is that your nickname Dudley? Hiya you must be his cousin”

“Harry” He said introducing himself. “Not kidding when you said she was pretty were you D?”

“You told him, you think I’m pretty?”

“No! Yes! Maybe...” I muttered blushing. I could see Harry trying to fight back laughter... just wait... I’d get him back for this later.

“He’s always talking about you... real excited he was when he arrived in Scotland. Claimed I had to come back with him and meet you... so here we are” Harry added with a smirk.

“Oh did he now? Well why don’t you come over to my place we can...” But my good for nothing cousin cut her off.

“Before you finish that I have what I think would be a better idea... Why don’t you come back to Dudley’s? He can cook dinner and we can meet each other better? Right D?” He said looking at me with a gleam in his eye.

“Course, brilliant idea...” I mumbled... shit.

“Tell you what I’ll bring my girlfriend too. I’ll go get her now and we’ll all see you at Dudley’s in about an hour or so?” Harry butted in.

“Sounds great! Just give me a call when you’re ready Dudley. See you guys later, nice meeting you Harry!”

“Nice to finally meet you too!”

I waited until she was gone from both sight and ear-shot before hammering into him.

“You pain in the arse! Did you have to do that! You know I’m not made of money! And I can’t cook and...And...And...”

“That my friend is a little thing called revenge for calling me a ladies’ man...”

“Son of a...”

“Now now! I’ll give you money for dinner! You get cooking... I’ll go get Ginny” He replied shoving some notes in my hand and turning into a side alley before disappearing with a crack.




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