Chapter 1 : The summer catches up with you.
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I found Mimi, Lola and I a carriage and we dumped their trunks onto the floor deciding they were too heavy to put into the over head luggage compartments.
Mimi had already got out her magazines, put her feet up on her trunk and begun reading.
‘‘Chuck me a magazine Mims and tell me everything from your summer, seeing as you spent it in spain!’’ I said.
“Yeah oh my god, spain was absolutely great met some amazingly hot Spanish muggles.’’ replied Mimi, grinning from ear-to-ear. Mimi always managed to get an amazingly golden tan which made a lot of Hogwarts girls jealous, but who wouldn’t be?
“Right, while I stayed in watching films with my fucking eight year-old brother,’’ said Lola, miserably, her brother was disgustingly annoying, even more annoying than my brother Jay who will be starting Hogwarts next year. God help me.
“Hey, it couldn’t have been that bad, Jungle Book is funny at the best of times.’’ I said, my lame idea of a joke (im not exactly funny).
“Jungle Book?’’ asked Mimi
“Oh yeh, you’re pureblood, it’s only like the best Disney film,” said Lola, laughing.
“Well that open to interpretation isn’t it?’’ stated Lily Evans as she entered the carriage looking disapprovingly at the trunks thrown across the floor.
“Don’t start Lils, we’ll move them eventually.’’ said Mimi who was still lounging in her seat with her feet up.
“Oh Jem, congratulations on making Head Cheerleader!’’ exclaimed Lily once she had looked away from Mimi.
“Aw thanks Lils, I was so happy about that, anyway, how was your summer?’’ I asked.
“Crazily shit, tried avoiding Sev all summer, it could almost qualify as a sport.’’ she sighed before dropping into the seat next to me.
We all laughed, Severus Snape had been Lily’s best friend bar the three of us, until during exam period when he had called her a mudblood. It was inexcusable and that was it, friendship over. This was to many people’s happiness. Nobody had really approved of that friendship.
“So Jem, I know you broke up with Matheus but...’’ asked Mimi a little reluctantly, not knowing how to approach the topic.
“Oh that.’’ I replied, really not wanting to talk about it. The break up had been heartbreaking and I spent my whole summer thinking about it....and him. Well it had been an 8 month relationship, so don’t judge me, and there are some things about me and Matheus I haven’t even told the girls yet. Not that I will. Ever. It will go to my grave with me. Or the urn, I haven’t decided yet.
“Ok, so anyway,’’ said Lily, my best friend, who knew right now was not the right time to discuss my disgusting love life ‘I was walking to the shop right and I saw Sev at the park on my way down, I really did not want to speak to him seeing as he stood outside my house the day before for about three hours-” Lily took a breath while everyone commented on how desperate and slimy he was.
‘‘So I walked straight past him and guess what? He actually started following me, I mean shouldn’t that be illegal? It’s harassment! Eurgh he makes me sick, this is what I have to put up with.’’ said Lily, finishing her story looking at everyone as if to say ‘feel some sympathy for me, I’ve got a greasy stalker who called me a mud blood, is in Slytherin and is in love with me’ Though she doesn’t believe that he’s in love with her, but he clearly is.
How about no, Lily.
“So Snape really still thinks he can be friends with you?’’ asked Mimi, she was good at the sympathy thing.
“Yes! I really don’t know what goes on in his mind, he is so annoying and greasy and I can’t believe I was ever friends with him.’’ The world has ended. Lily Evans has finally admitted that Severus Snape is greasy and slimy.
“I hope this is Snivellus we’re talking about Lils,’’ said a voice from the door. We all looked around and saw James Potter (who else?) and his fellow marauders.
“We would come and sit down, but it seems as if your trunks are in the way.’’ said James in his arrogant way of his.
‘‘Is there any reason you girls have just flung your trunks on floor instead, oh I don’t know, the luggage compartment?’’ asked Sirius matching James’ arrogant tone. So arrogant, but so hot. Look at him. Jesus bloody Christ.
‘‘We couldn’t be bothered to lift them.’’ said Mimi, now reading a copy of Witch Weekly with Lola.
Lily and I watched as Sirius and James lifted out trunks and put them up effortlessly, I didn’t realise I was watching their muscles so obviously until lily nudged me.
“Want a better look Jem?’’ asked Sirius, sitting down next to me while I blushed bright red.
“No, fuck off Black.’’ was my feeble attempt at getting my dignity back.
He and James just looked at each other and had a little chuckle.
‘’Everyone ready for sixth year?’’ said Lily
‘‘I know, this could be the year that changes everything right Lils?’’ said James looking at Lily and winking. Lily narrowed her eyes at him before turning to Remus and talking to him about the book he was reading. To my surprise, James looked really jealous of Remus. I started laughing and found Sirius doing the same.
“Have you marauders got the back to school sixth year bonfire planned for Saturday then?’’ I asked.
“Nope, but don’t you worry your little head, it’ll be great’’ said Sirius
“You’ve only got two days to plan, it’s Thursday!’’ I said, I really wanted this bonfire to be a success; I needed to get over Matheus.
“Did you hear that guys? ONLY two days.’’ joked Sirius
James laughed and high-fived Sirius while I narrowed my eyes at both of them.
Sirius nudged me while James turned to Lily, his face hopeful. “Lily, are you going to the bonfire?’’ Oh god, here we go.
“Not if you’re there.’’ she countered.
“But you will end up coming?’’ asked James, his hopeful face morphing into one of confusion and hurt.
“Do you want me to spell it out for you? NOT. IF. YOU’RE. THERE. Get it?’’ I don’t really think Lily caught onto his hurt expression. Nope , not really.
“Oh c’mon lily, it’ll be fun.’’ said James, quickly hiding his confusion and winking at her. This boy is not getting the hint.
Retreat, boy, retreat!
‘‘What if you go with me?’’
“Why won’t you go out with me, Lily?’’
I automatically brace myself for what happens next.
“POTTER, WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULD EVER GO OUT WITH YOU? I DESPISE YOU. IM GOING TO THE BONFIRE, BUT ONLY BECAUSE 6 OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING AND GUESS WHAT THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU!’’
‘‘Because I’m not your friend, I’m your boyfriend?’’ asked James hopefully
‘’I give up.’’ said Lily, shrinking back into her seat and glaring out of the window.
‘This’ I said ‘is going to be a fucking long year.’
Potions is one of the shittest lessons I have ever come across, I tell you this for free. Especially since my potion is now spurting out red liquid, this cannot be good.
“Lily, fix this.’’ I said
“What do you say?’’ she said in her annoying tone of hers.
“This is no time for jokes Lily; I nearly got some of that in my eye.’’
She started laughing but started stirring my potion and adding odd ingredients.
I turned around and started talking to Lola and Mimi who had obviously given up on their potions and were sitting around gossiping.
‘‘Jem, did you hear about Sirius and Ellie?’’ asked Mimi
“Ellie? Ellie Pevitt? Ravenclaw?’’ I asked
“That’s the one, apparently they started going out like two weeks before end of fifth year.’’ said Lola
I frowned, that didn’t sound right seeing as I saw him –
“Miss Lander’’ boomed Slughorn’s voice ‘‘your potion seems to be red and you’re gossiping?’’
“Well at least it’s not spurting out of the cauldron anymore.’’
“5 points from Gryffindor for being cheeky, I wouldn’t expect this from a Head Cheerleader.’’ he said and walked off to check Matheus’ potion.
All the Slytherin girls looked at me upon hearing that I had made head of Gryffindor cheerleaders. I wonder who made Slytherin’s head cheerleader. Probably that bitch, Priscilla Parkinson. I really hate her, last year at the first quidditch game she sent a hex at me so I forgot the whole cheer and looked like an idiot in front of the WHOLE school. I still get mocked for that.
“Well well well, Matheus that is the best I’ve seen so far apart from young Lily over there, would you mind helping miss Lander fix her potion please? Seeing as you’re finished, and Lily dear, help Pettigrew over here.’’ I heard Slughorn say. Oh no.
“Yes sir.’’ squeaked Lily, giving me a look full of all the sympathy she had.
“Hey you alright?’’ said a familiar and comforting voice. He’s not your comfort anymore, remember? That would be the snide voice at the back of my head. She’s such a bitch.
“Yes I’m fine, you?’’ I said casually. See! I can do this. Not for long.
“What’s up with your potion?’’ he asked, laughing, as he started stirring it and adding some spiders legs.
‘’Why are you even talking to me?’’ I blurted. What? Where did that come from? I told you. Oh shut up.
“Well, Slughorn just asked me to help you.’’
“So help me, just don’t speak to me.’’
After 10 minutes of silence and Matheus stirring and adding shit to my potion he said “Jem, this break up hit me hard...’’
“I don’t care.’’ why am I being a bitch? Defence mechanism. Will you ever shut up, fuck off subconscious.
‘‘Stop acting as if you don’t care, I know you Jem.’’ he snapped, looking up from the potion and straight at me.
‘’You don’t know anything about me.’’ I said, my tone cold and careless.
‘’Oh really? I probably know more than your precious little friends over there.’’
He’s right about that one, just agree. I ignore the voice.
“Stop acting as if you know everything, we’re broken up, you have no significance in my life, just fuck off and stop messing everything up.’’ I said trying to act tough but the tears flooding my eyes betrayed me. You never listen to me.
He sighed “we need to talk about this.’’
“I’m not talking to you about anything, you said enough in the summer when we broke up.’’
‘‘I regret most of that.’’
‘‘I do Jem, even if you don’t believe it. We do need to talk about this, though. How about the library at 8?’
He gave me a look, I am not budging. You’ll cave, eventually. No, I tell my subconscious, I am a strong independent woman. I am the head of the cheerleaders, for goodness sake.
He looks at me, his eyebrows arched.
I sigh. “fine, but I better be back in the common room by quarter past.’
“Then you better be on time.”
I glared at him while I packed up my stuff and stalked past him.
I hate him. I hate him.
Will he want to get back together? What if he realised he was wrong? NO, I hate him, remember? You love him, said my subconscious. No you don’t love him. Really? that’s why you’re meeting him at the Library! My subconscious is a bitch. Ok I really like him. But he doesn’t like you. He does. Doesnt. What if he does? What if he wants to get back with me in the restricted section of the library?
That’s really not going to happen. Go away!
I slammed into Sirius “err, Jem?’’
“Oh hey , sorry just lost in my thoughts.’’ I said as we walked together to the Great Hall.
“I didn’t know you and Matheus were broken up.’’
‘”Yeah, summer brings lots of surprises.” I said, dryly.
‘‘I was definitely surprised when I heard you two in Potions, you two were pretty full on, what happened?’’
“A lot, anyway I didn’t know about you and Ellie.’’
“Well, she’s hot.’’
“Wow, you never fail to be Sirius, Hogwarts player.’’ I joke.
“Well I am.’’ he laughed.
“Sirius, have you ever thought about being genuinely in love with the girl you’re going out with instead of going for a hot girl?’’
“Maybe I am in love with someone. Just not the girl I’m going out with.’’
“Then why don’t you go out with the girl you’re in love with instead of leading some poor helpless girl on?’’
“Until recently I couldn’t, but now-’’
“Things have changed?’’ I offered.
I was going to be late for this meeting. No need to be desperate. So why are you standing here at 5 to 8?
“Early I see.’’ said Matheus. What a fucking ass hole. You were the one that was early.
“What did you want to talk about?’’
“What about us?’’
“Jem, stop playing dumb, c’mon,’’ he led me into a disused classroom.
“What?’’ I snapped as soon as he closed the door.
“Ok, well I guess our break-up wasn’t the best ever.’’
“No it wasn’t.’’
“I said some things I didn’t mean.’’
‘‘You meant them.’’ I snapped.
“Would you let me speak?” He said, exasperated.
“Ok, so I guess I was fucking freaked out. The end of fifth year was great. I didn’t have one clue about what was going on and suddenly out of nowhere you write me and my whole world explodes. I didn’t know what to do Jem. You know I loved you, but this summer made things obvious to me and it should have to you too. We’re just not ready for this. We’re not ready for us. I know we were together for 8 months but when I think about my future....’’ he cut off hesitantly as if searching for the right words.
‘‘It doesn’t have me in it.’’ I finished off for him.
He didn’t answer.
He said he LOVED me.
“Fine, Matheus, its fine. You think about yourself, as usual. But guess what? I don’t see you in my fucking future either!’’ I shouted and stalked out.
I can’t believe him
He was fucking thinking about himself.
It’s ALWAYS about him.
I really hate him.
Undergoing revisions/editing etc. Havent got a beta yet but chapter one done!
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