The events of the incident between Krum and Evvie had been kept secret by McGonagall and other staff members. They didn’t want the rest of the school finding out what had happened. Evvie had suffered enough, they didn’t want her to be humiliated further and if word got out of what had happened it would most definitely get twisted leaving Evvie more hurt.
Physically Evvie recovered quickly it was easy for Madame Pomfrey to fix her up. Emotionally her healing was slower but Evvie wasn’t a stranger to emotional suffering. She’d get through it. She put on a confident front blocking out all the negativity but she didn’t feel so happy on the inside. She still felt a little scared but she knew she shouldn’t be scared; Krum was still detained at the Ministry so he wasn’t around to inflict fear on her. She may be a little scared but she had become more confident in herself since the incident.
Despite the fact that the real events had been kept secret, that didn’t stop the rumor mill from turning out lies. The Rumor Mill really stood for Pavarti and Ginny. While Ginny went for a more obvious approach, Pavarti went for more of a side swipe approach because it helped her keep off the radar.
As usual it was Herbology that caused the most problems. Evvie was beginning to think it would be a good idea to ask McGonagall if she could switch to private lessons because the insults she received were becoming unbearable. She always sat next to Neville now, he was the only Gryffindor to remain friends with her – though Lavender seemed to be coming round as well. He didn’t agree with Harry or Ron’s treatment of Evvie. He’d been through a lot and knew Evvie didn’t deserve the same.
“Where have you been Granger?” taunted Ginny.
“Krum probably had her all tired up, don’t know what he sees in her” said Pavarti snidely.
“As if, Krum wouldn’t want someone as cold as her” giggled Ginny.
Evvie took several deep breaths clenching her fists in an attempt to control her anger. Beside her Neville wondered went people would learn not to mess with her.
“Honestly I’d be surprised if anyone took to her, she’s not exactly marriage material” said Ginny, “And all that stuff with Krum, she was just vying for attention”.
“She was probably trying to beg him to take her back” added Pavarti.
“That’s enough” said Lavender.
“No one asked you Brown!” replied Ginny.
“Siding with the enemy now Lavender. You’ll regret it!” added Pavarti.
Lavender slipped from the room in search of help, Blaise or any Slytherin.
“Have you seen what she wears? There is no way she picks out her own clothes, she has no taste”
“Poor Blaise! Imagine having that as a sister. I think I’d kill myself wouldn’t you” the girls snickered together.
“Hey Granger, what do your muggle parents think of your new look. Oh wait, they’re dead. Probably took one look at you and kicked the bucket!”
“So pathetic, look she’s hardly controlling her emotions at all”.
Those people who actually had a few working brain cells knew what was coming if Evvie couldn’t control herself, it’s a pity not everyone was that observant.
“Awh did Krum overwork you”
“Krum wouldn’t go near a whore like that” said Ron.
Lavender returned silently with Blaise in tow, they watched worriedly from the sidelines.
“You guys make me sick” said Neville, “I can’t believe I spent so long thinking you were my friends!”
“Sticking up for the whore Neville. What are you hoping she’ll pick you next” smirked Ginny.
“I wouldn’t bet on it mate. She’s dead on the inside. She’s not even worthy of the beggars off the street” shouted Ron.
As usual the only one not to open his mouth was Harry – unusual given his trust issues and insecurities. You’d think he’d be the first to open his mouth and shout obscenities; perhaps the Weasley’s really did have him under their thumbs. At least with them he had some sense of a warped family. Family is all he’s ever wanted right?
Evvie’s fists were curled up in an attempt to quell her anger but she was losing the battle. These people, these ridiculous narrow mind people were the reason there was so much bad in the world. It’s like when something new is found people will become weary of it because it is new and no one knows a thing about it. When people are scared or insecure they resort to violent belittling ways to protect themselves from harm. The fact that their action hurt other people is of no consequence.
“Awh look, she can’t even control her anger, look how much she’s shaking” said Ginny to Pavarti.
They seemed to have teamed up in this tirade but who knew what their own intentions were.
“It’s pathetic. At least Hermione Granger knew her place, getting a new face doesn’t mean anything. You can’t change who you are Hermione” ranted Ginny.
“No man wants a girl whose head is always stuck in a book! There are some things in life that you can’t learn from a book, not that you’d know that!” said Pavarti.
Evvie was a strong witch but she’d never been good with tears, they always seemed to come before she could stop them but she was trying her hardest not to let them fall. She didn’t need to let them know how much they were getting to her.
“I heard your ‘Mother’ bought all your new clothes, what she couldn’t bear to look at you in your disgusting muggle rags” shouted Ginny laughing at her own genius.
“No one would want to look at that! I’m glad I got out when I did, she probably would have tricked me into something and I’d be stuck with her for life, could you imagine how horrid that would be” said Ron.
Blaise found it hard to watch on as his sister was falling apart but a silent touch from Lavender prevented him from moving. Neville was doing his best to dissolve the situation, since the war, he’d gained some confidence and he was no longer the push over from his past.
“Would you two stop throwing insults at her, you go on and on but the only thing you’re succeeding in doing is showing yourselves up as bullies. It’s so obvious that you’re jealous of Evvie. Pavarti you’re jealous because you’re used to being the most popular girl in school and Ginny you’re jealous because Evvie has everything you wished you had. Would you both just grow up!” roared Neville.
“No one asked you Neville” sneered Ginny.
“Did you ever think that without Evvie some of us wouldn’t even be here. It’s fine to praise boy wonder over there but you and I both know he wouldn’t have succeeded half as much as he did if it wasn’t for Evvie. We owe her an awful lot. They way you are behaving just shows your true selves. You are all vindictive, manipulative, spiteful people and I hope you regret your actions or your lives are going to be so pitiful” replied Neville, Evvie was touched by his comments.
Both Ginny and Pavarti momentarily stopped talking, looking dumbfounded at Neville. Evvie offered Neville a small smile and Blaise hoped this was the end of it.
“What was that?!” demanded Ron.
People exchanged confused looks.
“What was what?” asked Harry, speaking for the first time – stupid git!
“That smile. Why did she smile at you Neville? What’s going on?” continued Ron.
“Oh my God” breathed Ginny.
“What?” asked Pavarti.
“She’s sleeping with Neville, the whore! That’s why he’s standing up for her, she’s corrupted him!! Urgh no one is safe. What the fuck do you want Granger?!” spat the raging redhead.
Neville opened his mouth to retaliate but Evvie stopped him.
The occupants of the room felt a strong charm ripple over them, they shifted uncertainly but recognized that they were safe. Everyone knew not everyone was safe but those about to be hurt realized nothing.
Evvie took a deep cleansing breath.
“Do you like attacking people? Does it make you feel good? Powerful? Does it make you feel better than others when you put people down? Do you like the rush you get when you know you’ve made someone else cry?” she paused for effect.
“If you feel all these things like you’ve so eloquently demonstrated you do, then you’re no better than the scum we just defeated. The things you feel will drive you insane and then it won’t be long before what you’re doing isn’t enough. How long before you torture someone to get a thrill? How long before you beat someone down till they’re dead? How long until you lose your last bit of sanity? If you lose it all you’ll end up in Azkaban right alongside the murderers you helped put there. If you end up there nothing in the world will be able to save you”.
“So you know what, you can carry on insulting me if it makes you feel better. As Neville said the only person it shows up is you. It shows how weak you are, you need to insult others to feel powerful. And really, I don’t give a shit about what you say to me, I know it’s lies, my friends know it’s lies, and anyone else really isn’t that important. Popularity and looks fade over time, when you haven’t got them left what do you have? Well in your case, nothing!”
Evvie walked to the door, “Oh and here’s a little something to remember me by, Offensus Incidere Unconscious!” with a flick of her wrist Pavarti, Ginny, Ron and Harry lay unconscious on the floor, bloody scratches standing out on their skin.
The Herbology teacher was sacked that day.
Peace, Quiet and the Black Lake
The black lake was good for thinking. Evvie sat off the way, not near that stupid big tree everyone always wanted to sit by. She was thinking of recent and past actions. The spells she’d been using recently were all of her own creation. Some were good others were bad. They were all made while they were on the run, the bad ones were there mostly to protect her and help in attacks while the good ones she’d created just in case she had survived the war.
It was peaceful out here, the afternoon wind blew across the lake and long grass Evvie sat nestled in. She’d felt no remorse when she’d cast that spell earlier today. It was a complex one, first it shocked the victim, then sliced a series of shallow cuts all over the body and finally knocked the victim unconscious. She said victim but really it was created to use against Death Eaters. She’d used it earlier in her defense and as a warning. If they wanted to fight her with words, she’d fight back with spells – although words were much more fun!
She contemplated her life, she felt like she was stuck at a crossroads unsure of which way to turn. It wasn’t that she hated being out of control, she just hated feeling so lost. Her thoughts of feeling lost turned to what she’d lost and then what she’d gained. She had a family for the first time in her life that wasn’t afraid of her. They didn’t plaster fake smiles on their faces when she did something magical. They didn’t look at her like she shouldn’t have been there. Oh she was sure the Granger’s had loved her on some level but she’d always seen the judgment in their eyes. She knew she hadn’t belonged and she knew they feared her.
Thinking of the Granger’s moved her thoughts to her real parents. Her Mother seemed a wonderfully honest person, when they’d shared that emotion hug in the Hospital Wing Evvie had felt like she’d come home. She’d been writing to her Mother since that day and was surprised by how alike they were, she wished she was out of school and able to spend more time with her. She wondered about her Father, neither Blaise nor her Mother seemed to want to talk about it. Evvie knew it was cliché to think it but if her Father died in the same raid she went missing in, wasn’t there a chance that he wasn’t dead at all. Wasn’t there a chance he was just misplaced like she was, it was silly she knew, they’d probably searched high and low, found his body or something but Evvie could help thinking that there was something more. She’d always been curious in that that seemed closed.
“How long have you been sitting here alone?”
She jumped at the deep masculine voice that penetrated her quietness. She turned slightly meeting the cool grey eyes of Draco Malfoy.
“A while, I needed some time”.
“It’s getting cold, you should go back inside”.
“I appreciate your concern but I’m fine” she replied a little annoyed. She assumed he’d walk away but was surprised when he sat down next to her.
“I’m sorry” whispered Draco.
“Everything. I’m sorry for the person I was. For the insults I hurled at you, for the pain I caused. I’m sorry. My beliefs, my social standings, my family. I know I sound like a broken record when I say I was brought up to believe things a certain way but if you think for a minute that I still believed in those things after I first laid eyes on you, you’d be wrong. Evvie, you challenged everything I’d been lead to believe, I was forced to view things in a different light”.
“But the insults, you still”
“I know. I’m sorry. I felt scorned. I’d put myself on the line when I’d asked Potter to be my friend and he just shoved it back in my face. I spoke to him as the etiquette dictates and he just assumed I was being rude. He judged me before giving me a chance. I never wanted to be a Death Eater, my Mother didn’t want it either, I think my Father realized his mistakes the moment Voldemort asked for me but by then he was in too deep and couldn’t back out. I was grateful when Snape killed Dumbledore, and even more so when I found out it was set up. I was never going to kill Dumbledore, I was trying to drag out my mission as long as possible, I’d only agreed to it because they’d put my Mother’s life on the line, I couldn’t afford to lose her” he took a breath.
“No, don’t tell me it’s ok. It was never ok. When they bought you into Malfoy Manor I thought of a thousand ways to get you out. I didn’t want you to get hurt, you didn’t deserve it. You were so brave and pure and you deserved so much from life. Instead I had to stand there and watch as you bared your life to my deranged Aunt. When my Aunt left you there bleeding on the floor I wanted so much to cradle you in my arms and make all the pain go away but my Father forbid me. It wasn’t the first time I’d been crucio’d for feeling things that I shouldn’t. When my Mother came with the news that you’d escaped, I was so relieved, I hoped and prayed that you were alright”.
“Then I saw you again at the Battle of Hogwarts, I followed you into the room of requirement, I wanted to make sure you were alright. It was so obvious that you were with Weasel and didn’t need my protection but I couldn’t stop myself, I needed to make sure you were ok. I couldn’t believe it when my Father forced me to him again. I never counted that my Mother would have a plan. She gave herself willingly to the Ministry, showed them all her memories and requested a divorce from the madman that was my Father. As you know Father ended up getting kissed, the day after it happened I remember coming back to the Manor and feeling happy for the first time in my life. My Mother had a smile on her face for the first time in years. We celebrated. That day my Mother showed power I never knew she had, she’d moved all the furniture we owned into a storing facility and with the help of our house elves she completely tore down the entire Manor. Everything was washed away leaving behind a clean slate. She’s been rebuilding it ever since, it’s almost finished now. She says it’s now a house she’s proud of, it’s a house without shadows and it will be a house that’s full of laughter”.
“Shh. I just wanted you to know. You said you wanted to be friends right. I’m temperamental, possessive and jealous but I’m also loyal, trustworthy and I love the longest”.
She reached for him, “Draco please”.
He drew back, “No, you don’t deserve me, I’m not good enough” he whispered, disappearing into the darkness that was creeping all around.
For a minute she’d felt almost complete, then the feeling had been ripped from her once more, leaving her feeling more confused and lost than ever before.
“Evvie are you out here?”
“Pansy?” said Evvie, “Over here”.
Pansy came into view, “Have you been out here all alone?” she asked.
“No, I was with someone but they just left” she replied evasively.
“Your Mother’s here, she asked me to come get you”.
“Mother’s here, why?”
“Blaise called her. Something to do with the events of this morning’s Herbology lesson”
“Anything you want to tell me?”
“I cursed some people” she replied.
Pansy’s eyebrows rose, “Please don’t look at me like that. I tried to ignore it but it just got worse and worse. They were waiting for me to snap and I did, just not in the way they expected. I just gave them something to remember me by”.
“And I feel no remorse”.
Pansy smiled, “The Herbology teacher was sacked today, and a replacement has been found. Which reminds me, Professor McGonagall asked that you go and see her tomorrow morning”.
Evvie’s face whitened.
“Oh I wouldn’t worry, she didn’t seem angry, actually it was more like she was trying not to laugh. She asked to see Neville and Lavender at the same time”.
They’d reached the stairs to the girls dorm and Pansy stopped, “Aren’t you coming up?” asked Evvie.
“Nope, your Mother is up there, something tells me she wants to talk to you alone” Evvie nodded her head and continued upstairs.
Katherine Zabini perched on the edge of her daughter’s bed. She’d been quite concerned when she’d received an owl from Blaise and then a floo call from Professor McGonagall, they both expressed wished for her to come and visit her daughter. A million things had gone through her head at the requests; was her daughter alright? Was she hurt? Had something happened? Was this to do with that Krum boy Blaise had told her about (he hadn’t told her what had recently happened).
Her daughter came into the room and rushed to put her arms around her Mother, Katherine felt her daughter relax in her arms. The trust this girl had in Katherine was astonishing for they had only just found the connection.
“You are unhappy” whispered Katherine to her daughter.
Evvie nodded, allowing her Mother to wipe the tears from her daughters face.
“What has made you so sad Cara?” she asked.
“I feel so lost” her hands started to shake, “Everywhere I look I’m reminded of what was but no one is able to let me be what I am. I don’t know which way to turn, what if I turn the wrong way and can’t make my way back. It’s like I’m seeing things for the first time. People I thought were my friends are nothing more than memories of an empty life, they never existed, I see that now. Then I walk into the snakes den and it’s like I’m home. No one judges me, questions me, and asks more of me. Yet I’m still lost, I can’t find my head it’s like it’s buried in sand, I keep trying to find it but I keep coming up short”.
“My magic is out of control. It’s stronger since the change. I feel like it’s calling to something but I can’t work out what it is. It’s like it’s pinning for something that is missing. I feel it right here” she placed her hand over her heart, “It hurts, like something is stopping it from being whole and I have no idea what it is. I cursed some people today, it was with a spell I created, I felt no remorse for what I did. I’m not dark, I’m not, I just, and it’s so hard. I’m trying to find my way in this darkness and everywhere I turn something tries to stop me. I’m not asking for an easy ride. I just want to know what’s going on”.
“What about Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Draco, how do they make you feel?” asked her Mother quietly.
“Blaise is me; he’s a part of me. I see him and I feel a little bit safer. I know that if I’m near him I’m protected. Even before the change he was kind to me. I guess he reminds me of what I have, he shows me that there are people who know me for me and accept me as that. Pansy grounds me a little. Knowing her now I could never imagine her as a bitch but I know what part of her is still there , it’s just not directed at me anymore. If she went away from me I don’t know how I’d cope with it, it’s like when I’m feeling sad or angry or worried her presence has the ability to calm me. Does that make sense?” he Mother nodded, “I trust Daphne because she was there for me once, she’s important to Blaise as well though I’m not sure if they know it yet. If I needed to tell someone something it would be Daphne that I’d go to”.
“You didn’t mention Draco sweetheart”.
Evvie’s hands shook just a little bit more, “Malfoy and I are always going to let sparks fly, our entire childhood was spent throwing insults to each other. She’d call me that word and I would feel so little and insignificant. Then we grew up on opposite sides of the war. He was frightened. I was unappreciated. We were both fighting for a better life without realizing it. I never hated him, how could I hate someone who was so alike me. We had so much in common but I don’t think he ever allowed himself to see that. He said he doesn’t deserve me, he won’t even give it a chance, he’s already made up his mind and pushed me away. He didn’t even give me a chance. He just said what he had to say and disappeared, he didn’t give me a chance to talk. I feel more lost when I’m with him than any other time but I also feel hollow when he leaves. It’s like I need him and I don’t need him at the same time”.
Katherine stroked her daughter’s back soothingly; she had a lot of troubles poor thing. It was obvious to Katherine that no one had really taken the time to talk to her daughter, and so she’d kept everything bottled up. No doubt those so called ex friends were keeping her busy making her looking after them so much that she never had time for herself.
“And the people Blaise tells me are hurting you with words?” she enquired.
“Sticks and stones Mum – sorry, Mother”.
Katherine smiled, “You can call me Mum Evvie, and in fact I’d prefer it. Mother makes me seem so old”.
“Weak people throw insults because they are jealous and insecure. It hurts what they say to me but I pity them. For them that’s their life, and the way they carry on they won’t have a good life. I only have a year left, then I don’t have to deal with them anymore, I’ll just have to survive till then” Evvie mumbled.
“Sticks and stones as you say Cara. They all feel they are the ones who should be allowed this second chance that you have. You are better than all of them. Don’t cry. You have so much power, your intelligent, your passionate, caring, loving, you are loyal. You are going to achieve so much in your life, and these people will look back on the things they’ve said and regret it because when they come looking for a better life, you won’t be the one to help them” said Katherine.
“Thanks Mum” whispered Evvie.
Katherine looked at her exhausted sleeping daughter, all her worries and troubles had made her so weak and tired, and her body had shut down against it all. Katherine laid her daughter down and wrapped her in a blanket. She left in search of McGonagall and a favor.
You've all been a bit silent, are people enjoying this story? :S ~ Zyii
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