Chapter 5 : Gideon.
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Phoebe was only there to see Charlie play so when the other trials began Phoebe’s mind began to slip away from reality, not even the huge gales phased her as she was just staring into space, imagining her mother sat at home somewhere with a wizarding family of her own, not even realising that her first child cared about her so much more. Phoebe wondered if she did have any brothers or sisters, and if they even knew. Maybe her Mother was desperately trying to get her back after she realised the grave mistake she made. Phoebe wondered if she’d asked Dumbledore about Phoebe yet, and if she ever would. The thought made her smile, knowing that her mother may have wanted her. Her Dad too, well she never gave him much thought. Just because, from what she’d heard from Heather, single mothers were the victims when Dad’s couldn’t be bothered to care for their child. Phoebe knew that it couldn’t be true; she couldn’t have been born with parents that were monsters. Phoebe couldn’t get the thought out of her head. It began to taunt her, what if she’d been brought into the world by two cold blooded murderers? A voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts,
“Wow you must have been thinking hard, now snap out of it Charlie is about to start his trial!” Tonks, exclaimed, getting ready to watch him fail. Tonks mustn’t have wanted to see him suffer, just fail.
“The expression is a penny for your thoughts. Well in your case, a knut. Or a sickle....” Phoebe informed Tonks who was half listening, half watching Charlie fly past them ever so often.
“Oh I get it; my dad’s said it to me once. He’s a muggleborn like you so he’ll sometimes use muggle sayings.” Tonks remarked. They then watched as Charlie had his eyes glued to the golden snitch which did fly quite near Phoebe and Tonks sometimes, allowing their eyes to become fixed upon the object as its beauty was quite fascinating. Charlie then flew above their heads, causing Phoebe to let out a squeak and Tonks to quickly duck down.
“What the bloody hell does he think he’s playing at? He could have got himself knocked over! At least he will do once I’m done with him.” Tonks snarled, looking up from the hunched position she was in.
At the end of the trial, the captain blew his whistle and Charlie quickly grasped the snitch and woefully flew down. There were mumbles and a shock ridden facial expression on Charlie’s face, but from the distance, Phoebe couldn’t make out if it was good or bad. Tonks and Phoebe came down from where they were sat to meet Charlie and find out the long awaited results.
“Well he said I’m not good enough for the seeker position,” Charlie sighed while Tonks attempted to hold in her laughter, “But he said that they needed a chaser, and he thinks I’m up to the job and practise starts next Wednesday!” He told them cheerfully with a huge grin spread across his face. Phoebe then pulled him into a tight hug,
“Oh well done Charlie!” She exclaimed, while Tonks rolled her eyes at the pair of them.
“Can we go down to the feast now? It’s almost half six, I’ve been starving for hours!” Tonks moaned. So the three of them headed off to the great hall with a huge Halloween feast ready to greet them.
As they entered the hall Phoebe saw a crowd of birds soaring above their heads and mainly flying around the ceiling, though every so often one would swoop down and drop some letters on the table. Charlie parted from the two girls to sit at his own table, so the girls sat down and looked up at the group of owls in hope that letters would fall in front of them. Tonks only waited a brief number of seconds before delving into her dinner; Phoebe just sat with an empty plate, desperately hoping that Heather, John, anyone would send her something.
“Oi Phoebe,” Tonks mumbled through her food, “That owl’s been eyeballing you for a while; it could be delivering a letter or something.”
Phoebe’s eyes met with a magnificent, golden feathered owl. It’s beak was a jet black colour to match its large, bulbous eyes. Suddenly it swooped down, and released a letter to let it collide with the table. Phoebe snatched the envelope away so any wandering eyes couldn’t quickly scan it to see unwanted information. Phoebe looked at Tonks with excitement, a smile was dancing on her lips and her eyes were lit up with sheer joy.
“Just open the bloody thing Phoebe!” Tonks laughed, she never realised how easily pleased her friend was. Phoebe ripped the envelope apart to find a large roll of parchment, and by the look of the handwriting it was obvious that a quill and pot of ink had been used. This meant none of her family could’ve sent it....they were all muggles. Phoebe took the piece of parchment and placed it in front of her.
I’m sorry that I never said goodbye properly, I wish I had but you’re one of them now and that’s something I can’t bear to deal with. John and I did argue about this and how my reaction to your recent abilities would affect your happiness. He told me that if I don’t like it then I know where the door is. Life is a bit unstable at the moment and I know it isn’t your fault but if we’d given you up then maybe all four of us would’ve been happier. I shouldn’t be writing like this to you, you’re only eleven but as many of my sisters are muggleborn witches I saw how magic matured them and left us muggle siblings to grow up on our own. I think you can handle what I want to say. As a family we’ve suggested that maybe you should stay at Hogwarts for Christmas and possibly for the summer, though we will see how it goes. I wanted to write this on parchment and with a bottle of ink so you could get used to your surroundings and embrace your new life. Like I say, a lot of my sisters are witches, so I know how to send these letters to you. Nonetheless, Thomas wanted to send you your mini me porcelain doll, but I said no, like I said dear, you will have to grow up sometime. If you really want it then I can arrange to have it sent over with the Christmas present.
Remember dear we all love you so much,
“I’m sorry Phoebe but she’s a crap, terrible mother! How can anyone do that to their child?” Tonks growled, Phoebe had been too engrossed with rage, grief, isolation and the letter to notice Tonks was peering over her shoulder. Glaring at the letter in utter disgust- Tonks’ eyes locked on the piece of paper like a target so in Tonks’ mind it would hopefully burst into flames or disintegrate.
“Well, she’s not my mum and I’m not her child so....she can do that.” Phoebe sighed with tears starting to well up in her eyes. She quickly pushed the letter away, and looked at the floor which seemed the only place to look at for comfort at the time.
“No she can’t. It’s not fair, if all muggles are like this then I really feel sorry for you and I can’t even imagine how horrible it must be living with her!” Tonks attempted to comfort her but Phoebe shrugged those words and briskly rose from where she was stood.
“That’s all anyone can do, feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for me because I don’t understand all these stupid magic jokes and tricks, that I never knew my parents and that I’m living with people who don’t want or love me. I don’t want sympathy; I just want to leave Hogwarts and never come back!” Phoebe snapped. Tonks just stared at Phoebe; lost in all the confusion she didn’t know what to say.....she was only trying to comfort her friend who clearly needed support. Tonks’ hair slowly turned to a faded turquoise colour, which clearly showed she was no longer her normal, bright and bubbly self. Phoebe looked back at her friend with tears stinging her eyes; afraid of drawing attention to herself she sped off leaving Tonks alone. In the Great Hall people began to notice the young girl’s hair colour change so they briefly looked up, hoping she wouldn’t notice. Tonks saw the wandering eyes stare at her momentarily, why should she have cared? It was what they all did, they all stared. I need to find Phoebe. The thought crossed her mind and quickly enough she jumped from her seat and legged it from the hall as quick as she could. It was nine o clock, which meant she wasn’t allowed out after hours, how would she find her without getting caught?? She knew that if a teacher found her she could explain the situation but only prefects were roaming the halls now, and not for long. Slipping away into the corridors Tonks was determined to find Phoebe and apologise for something she didn’t quite understand. Making amendments was the only solution at this point and she didn’t want to lose a friend at all.
Phoebe always preferred to be hidden away in the cracks of the walls, so once she’d ran off that was exactly what she’d done. Well, in a way at least. She was tucked away from sight by an old statue in the corner, hiding behind it to cry seemed only fitting. Why did no one want her? Tonks told her that Hogwarts could be her home, but who said she wanted it to be? Ever since magic turned up on her doorstep it’d caused nothing but misery for her. It seemed like not even the most mystical thing full of hope would care for her, want her or support her. All Phoebe felt was neglected; if Heather had never wanted her then why was she still there? John could fight a good argument, but in the end Heather would always get her way. It seemed almost principle. Thomas would probably ignore her for the rest of her days, leaving Phoebe confined to her own depressing and dismal thoughts which would most likely drive her to insanity. Was all this too in depth for an 11 year old? Phoebe felt like it was, although sometimes Phoebe could feel the weight of the world pressing down on her, ready to overthrow her every chance it got. As the young girl began to contemplate the situation more she became drowsy, her head slowly began to lose its balance and her eyelids suddenly started to flicker. Phoebe soon caught onto the fact that if she stayed any longer she’d be spending the night asleep behind an ancient statue. Phoebe moved away from the spot she’d stayed hunched in and began to make her way back, she heard footsteps; phoebe’s heart was in her mouth. What if it was a teacher? Phoebe ignored the thought of the consequences and continued to edge away from the spot and walk down the corridor back to her common room. Suddenly the footsteps returned, but with a voice which was whispering softly,
“Phoebe, Phoebe?” As she heard her name, Phoebe turned around to see none other than Tonks her face had a look of fear and concern. Tonks ran as fast as her small legs could carry her and pulled Phoebe into a hug.
“Phoebe, I’m really sorry! It’s hard to remember you’re a muggle born and I leave you out so I’m not being fair! You should just hit me every time I do that. Just don’t fall out with me, I hate falling out with people, especially my best friends. Well I only have one best friend, you, but you know one is better than none.” Tonks apologised as she desperately crammed sorry into so many sentences.
“Tonks you’re my best friend too, but I just feel so lonely and.....homeless.” Phoebe confessed mournfully.
“Well something will turn up so keep thinking happy, come on quick before-” Tonks began but was suddenly cut off by the voices of Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. Tonks and Phoebe threw themselves behind the statue. Phoebe began to worry, muttering to Tonks who was alarmed as the voices were coming closer,
“Phoebe! Shut up! If we get caught we are dead. I’d rather not die so just keep quiet, hold your breath and count to one hundred.” Tonks snapped quietly and Phoebe’s mouth fell shut. As McGonagall and Dumbledore came closer the two children could just about make out what they were saying.
“Albus, don’t you ever wonder if your idea of protection does more harm than good? First the Potter boy who’s destined to be trapped with those dreadful muggles for the best years of his life and then there’s Phoebe Blackett.” McGonagall asked her colleague who had a sense of authority even to such an old friend as the woman stood next to him.
“Minerva, we both know Miss Blackett’s situation is completely different. She was left inside a muggles residence by her Mother. Her Mother wasn’t killed.” Dumbledore replied calmly, leaving McGonagall to stew over the situation. Minerva stopped and turned to the headmaster and retorted,
“No but her Father was! By her kind too. I wish he had come to his senses....he was an exceptional wizard. Why did he think she would change her ways for him?” Dumbledore sighed, he realised McGonagall knew the answer, however he could see that a sense of reassurance was in order,
“When in love people often do foolish things. She was never going to change for him and he knew it. Her husband never loved her and so she found someone who did. That man saw the light in her no one else ever could because he loved her too much.”
McGonagall must’ve realised that the headmaster would mention love at one point, he believed it to be everyone’s strength and flaw in life.
“That woman was obsessed with only one thing, her reputation. She didn’t want to be kicked out or rejected by her family. That is why she left him. Yet, you also know she still loved him!” McGonagall responded quite fiercely.
“He was left with a picture of a baby, his baby. It shows nothing only that Miss Blackett’s mother cared enough for her to let him know he had brought a life into the world.” Dumbledore lied swiftly, he did have his suspicions of whether the love did continue, but to raise these suspicions would be foolish after all this time.
“I can’t keep lying to her Albus, you know I detest lying! If anything you might be able to sympathise with the child given the fact you were in a similar situation once! Please Albus we both know this isn’t right.” McGonagall protested, completely unaware that the young child she was lying to was only mere metres away.
“Minerva, we must respect her Mother’s wishes.” Albus ordered the transfiguration professor, whilst he remained calm. Minerva turned away for a few moments and then resumed walking with the old aged Dumbledore,
“You know that’s something I can’t do Albus.” She whispered, trying to balance the loyalty to her colleague with the loyalty she had for her beliefs.
“If not hers then please respect Gideon’s, for he wouldn’t want his child knowing all this at such a young age and at a vulnerable time in her life. She’s just getting used to the wizarding world and to add this amongst all her worries and pressure would seem ruthless of us. I’ve made sure Pomona keeps an eye on her in case anything involving this happens.” Dumbledore added almost pleading with her but in quite a neutral way.
“Fine Albus, I shall respect Gideon’s wishes but never hers. Not after all she’s done.” McGonagall agreed and then the two turned to the left and disappeared down the other corridor. Phoebe just stared into space. Gideon. His name was Gideon. Her father was called Gideon Blackett, or at least she assumed so. Yet he was dead. Her father was dead just like her dreams of meeting him, Phoebe just watched those dreams turn to ashes, never to be lifted and reincarnated, like she wished her father could be.
“I need to know who he is Tonks. I HAVE to know who he is.” Phoebe told Tonks in a low tone of voice.
“We’ll find him, I promise we will. But I am so sorry Phoebe, really I am.” Tonks told her, but Phoebe couldn’t speak. Instead she left for the common room in silence, mourning for the parent she had never lost but would never find.
A/N - Yes this is rushed but I just had to put this up as I've wanted to for a while now. I would adore some reviews, my review count for all my stories is lower than 60 at the moment, I'd love for it to get to the big 6-0 so with your help maybe we can.
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