“Who’s here?” I whisper panic suddenly sets in, was he lying to me about Astoria leaving him? I watch as he quickly dresses motioning for me to be quiet and goes out into the hall, closing and locking the door behind him.
Angry at being used, I find all my clothing and go to listen at the door, perhaps it was just his mum come to visit?
“SHE’S HERE?! YOU BROUGHT THAT SLAG TO OUR HOUSE?!” I hear being angrily shouted by Astoria, “YOU SAID YOU JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM, YOU SAID EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE! IS IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM YET?!”
I can hear Draco let out a frustrated sigh, “It isn’t that simple Astoria, I told you it wasn’t that simple. I need time to figure some things out. Please, just give me that. And she’s not a slag.” He says bluntly and with no emotion.
“Ohhhh you just let me go talk to her, tell her to stay out of my marriage?!? I’M YOUR WIFE DRACO! Not her, she had her chance and she lost it.” I can hear her pacing the hall in her expensive high heels.
I’d heard enough and quickly get dressed. I attempt to apparate but clearly there was a block. I was trapped in this study listening to him argue with his wife right outside the door. I sit dejected in the smooth high backed leather chair behind his desk. Looking down amongst the items that had been thrown to the floor in our haste I notice a familiar looking picture frame.
As I reach down to grab it and turn it over I see a picture of a smiling Draco kissing me on the cheek just as the photo is taken. We were at Perranporth beach when he’d come to visit me during our Spring holiday from Hogwart’s in 6th year. Looking down at the faces of the smiling happy couple I feel silent tears start streaming down my porcelain cheeks. Once I started I couldn’t stop. I’m unsure how long I sat there lost in my thoughts, crying and staring at an old memory when I’m startled from my own world by the slamming of a door somewhere outside the study.
Soon after I hear the study door open and shut again quietly. With my back to the door I stare out the window at the back garden, admiring the beauty of the white roses growing right in my field of view. I hear a frustrated sigh behind me but I still don’t turn around. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
Still grasping the photo in my hands tightly, I spin around in the chair take one look at him and throw the picture at the wall behind his head. Unluckily he ducks to avoid the collision and injury. “Izzy, I can explain, this isn’t as bad as it sounds. And was that the picture from my desk?!” As he stands back up he looks behind him and scowls at the sight of the photo lying on the floor covered in glass. He picks it up and repairs the frame frowning over at me and placing the photo back on his desk facing me. I go to grab it again but he catches my wrist quickly and stares me in the eyes.
“I know you’re upset and hurt right now but I promise you I haven’t been lying to you. I’ve been lying to her, please don’t throw it again.” He speaks so softly to me as if it pained him to see it broken.
I nod in acknowledgement and sit back heavily in the chair turning my back to him again. He continues to speak to me as if I should believe him.
“I told her this was something I could get over, that if I saw you and talked to you this would all blow over. But honestly I haven’t been into this marriage since I found out you were alive. I’ve been wanting to hold you again for so long.” I can hear the sincerity and frustration in his tone which only angers me more, “Izzy I have never and will never lie to you, I just can’t stop lying to her. She’s not you and she never has been you and I’m sorry that I tried to replace you, I’m so incredibly sorry Bella.”
I hear his voice break and know he’s at his breaking point, “I mourned for you until I found out you were alive. I was numb the entire time I was married, until the day I saw you again, until the day I found you. I…I came to see one of your shows, last month. The urge to see you was consuming me and Seamus finally broke down and told me where you worked. I know you were singing about us, I know you’ve been hurting too, please Izzy let me make it better.” He spins me around to face him, I don’t know when it happened but at some point in that speech I must’ve started crying because he was wiping tears from my cheeks.
“I’m sorry you thought I was dead. But I’m angry at you for not leaving her and sleeping with me behind her back. For being with me behind her back. I’m not going to be the other woman Draco so I don’t know what you think this is going to become.” I say solemnly grabbing his hands and taking them from caressing my face. “I’m not going to be a home wrecker. If you leave her, then you leave her but I’m not going to help you. And I’m not going to take part in this. You want to pursue this then you had better make up your mind.” I stand up, grab my coat and leave the study unsure of my own resolve.
He doesn’t chase after me, he doesn’t even shout my name. I leave Malfoy Manor unhindered unsure of where I want to go. I end up apparating outside Theo’s house unsure why my mind thought that would be the best place to go. Deciding against my apparition point I walk down the street in Plymouth thinking about everything that had lead up to this point.
Perhaps what we had was real, it had lasted long past what I thought possible, and it appeared to have only grown stronger. I wanted him now more than ever and I was angry with myself for feeling that way. He was married whether or not I liked it, to another woman. Not watching where I was going I had ended up in front of a familiar black iron gate with a Z insignia on it. Smiling at the thought of visiting my old friend Blaise I start to push open the gate but am stopped by the sound of a giggling woman on the other side of the door. I hear the door handle start to unlatch and dash off to the side of the house being sure to stay out of their view.
Hearing a vaguely familiar voice I peak my head around to see Astoria in Blaise’s arms on the front stoop in a very passionate snog session. It appeared Draco wasn’t the only one seeking outside comforts. Ducking back in my hiding place before they finish I hear her begin to speak, “He actually thought I was upset, I could care less who he shags as long as he gives me money when I ask for it and doesn’t ask where I’m staying while I’m taking time to “think” about our marriage. I’ll stay the Minister’s wife and get my handsome boy on the side for the rest of my life, he feels so guilty he’ll continue to stay married to me, because to him a promise is a promise.” I hear her laugh a high shrill giggle and my stomach churns I was sure at any second I would hurl all over my boots. Hearing enough I sneak to the back alley for a safe place to apparate away. I needed my best friend now more than ever and so I apparated to Seamus’s farm a place that I had called home for 2 years after the war, Seamus was the reason everyone thought I was dead, he had helped me go into hiding.
I knock on the door and he doesn’t answer. Looking at the windows I see the lights are off inside and can hear his dogs out back going crazy. Grumbling I find his spare key and let myself in.
“Seamus?!” I say taking my boots off by the door and turning on a lamp by the door. After searching the entire house I’m content with the fact that he isn’t there. Unsure when he would be arriving back I sit on the couch and read a book while I wait for him. I had nowhere else to go and I needed someone to talk to who wouldn’t judge me or at least wasn’t judging me because they hated me. Shortly after beginning to read I fall asleep on his couch drifting off into a fit sleep.
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