BEAUTIFUL chapter image by aconite @ TDA
If I bit my fingernails enough, would they fall off? Probably. Was I willing to test this theory? Yes. Well, apparently I was. I was nibbling my fingernails into nothingness. Why, might you ask? Because I am a horrible person. I get satifaction in eating my fingernails. Gross, but let’s get over it. We have more serious matters to worry about.
Like why Teddy sent me an owl in the middle of the night, telling me to meet him in the empty classroom next to the Charms classroom. He had claimed it was urgent. I don’t think anything has ever been urgent to Teddy. The last time he sent me an owl in the middle of the night, he was telling me he lost his virginity. You can’t lose it twice, can you? He wasn’t coming to tell me he was proposing to Mary, was he? I thought Mary had scared him off.
Teddy pushed open the door, still in his baby blue pajamas. I would’ve made some sort of funny comment, but the look on his face froze my words. He had tears running down his face and seemed completely out of breath. Like he had been sobbing. He crossed the room, engulfing me in his large arms and burying his face into my hair. He shook with sobs. He’s lucky that he’s the only person I’d let do this.
“What’s going on, Teddy?” I asked him in a whisper. He pulled away, wiping the tears off of his face. Without a word, he handed me a letter. A letter scribbled in my mother’s handwriting.
I don’t know how to place this lightly. Your father is in Azkaban. He caught me cheating on him and he went after the bloke who I cheated on him with. He killed him, to say the least. Mangled his body. The guy was my boss, so now I’m without a job. I had to sell the house. I’m living with an old friend from school for now until I can find a new job. She thinks she can get me in at the local bar, so we will see. Until further notice, I would like the two of you to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas Break. I’ll let you know of anything new that happens. Be careful at Hogwarts, dear. Tell Lenora what is going on. She doesn’t send us letters, so I thought to only send this to you. Congradulations on scoring on Lenny. She got your father’s skill. Except I hope she doesn’t kill anyone.
I had to read the letter three times to make sure I had read it correctly. How could Mum be so nonchalant about this? How could she be so calm while her husband was in Azkaban and she was without a job? I felt the tears stinging my eyes, but fought them away. Teddy sniffled into his sleeve. He was always a pansy. When it was just us two, he bawled like a baby with a butt rash.
I looked up at Teddy, blinking the tears away as fast as I could. This was just a joke. Mum always had a horrible sense of humor. She had thought one time that it would be funny to make all vegetables for supper. Dad was allergic to half of them and broke out in hives. Mum laughed about it the next day as we sat around Dad’s hospital bed. Dad however wouldn’t allow Mum to say a joke like that in a letter. Dad knew what hurt his kids and wouldn’t let Mum make Teddy cry (again).
“Father wouldn’t kill someone, Teddy.” I whispered, dropping the letter out of my hand. It was impossible. Dad was my marshmallow. He only ever killed a spider because I shrieked for ages. He did it to shut me up.
“He did, Lenny.” Teddy whispered back. Teddy then pulled out the Daily Prophet. Since it was nearly five, the next day’s paper was already out. Dad was on the cover. His hair was drenched in sweat, sticking to his face. His dark eyes were wide as he stared at the camera. He was wearing an Azkaban suit, holding a number in front of his body. He smirked at the camera, suddenly looking mad. This wasn’t the man I had looked up to so many times. This wasn’t the man who had kissed my knees when I had nose dived off of my toy broom. This wasn’t the man who had woken me up early Christmas day to hunt nargles. This wasn’t my father. It couldn’t be.
I threw the paper at the ground, feeling the tears stinging my eyes. I felt the anger boiling up inside of me. How the hell could he do this to me? How could he just leave me? How could he get himself locked up like that? How could Mum have an affair? How could she push Dad into killing someone? My fists clenched, my knuckles turning white. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to drive my fist straight through a wall. Bugger to Potter for not having practice the week of Thanksgiving. I needed to let out my frustration.
So what do I do? I run. Really, I’m not as fit as I let on. I just needed to get as far away from that damn paper as possible. I needed to get far away from Teddy. He looked just like Dad. I couldn’t stand to be around him. I felt the tears pouring down my face as I ran. I may still be in my Quidditch embroidered pajamas, but getting away was all I could think of doing. I was breathless when I made it to the one-eyed witch with a hump. Where does one go when they need to get away? Hogsmeade. Thank Merlin for making the drinking age 17.
When I managed to make it to Hogsmeade, it was around 7 a.m. I may have classes today, but I’m sure I wouldn’t miss a damn thing. First thing I needed to do was get out of these pajamas. If there was one good thing my parents left me, it was the money that was carried with me wherever I went. It didn’t bother me that I sounded like I had chains attached to me wherever I went, it was incredibly useful. Sometimes. Like this.
Normally, pubs don’t open until 11, so I had some wandering to do. I normally hate shopping, but I took all the opportunities I had to get my head off of all of this nonsense. I picked out a new red sweater that hugged me way too much. I bought a new pair of jeans that felt a size too small. I even bought a new, leather jacket that was far too expensive for my liking, but it was something different. I needed different right now. It made everything feel so much better.
Come 11, I hit every pub that there was. I ordered pint after pint after pint. By 5, I was smashed. I didn’t eat, just drank. People looked at me oddly as I staggered down the streets, but I didn’t care. I had full reason. Screw all the haters. They can be eaten by the Giant Squid for all I care. I might just feed them to the Squid myself. That’d make everything so much easier. I’d feel very satisfied.
I could barely stand up straight. I think I had five hands. I couldn’t feel my legs. I was trying my hardest to walk in a straight line without toppling over. I was failing miserably. My mind was swirling all together, so I had no recollection of all the things that happened the day before. Suddenly, I found myself falling over the threshold of the Three Broomsticks. It was packed with older wizards, all chatting it up over their dinners. I mumbled something that I didn’t even understand, before crawling over to a stool and pushing myself up onto it.
“Fire whiskey!” I shouted, hoping to get the attention of the barmaid. She shot me a dirty look, before giving me a pint. Success. I downed it as quickly as I could.
“Shouldn’t you slow down a bit?” A red-haired man asked me from my side. I glared as hard as I could at him. His face looked like he had two noses.
“Shouldn’t you be minding your own business?” I asked, but my voice slurred together so my words were incoherent.
“Err…just wondering.” He mumbled, turning back to his plate of chips. Yeah that’s right, eat your chips with shame. Eat your chips by yourself. I frowned. I was by myself too. Well bugger on loneliness.
I watched as the bar maid worked her way through the cluttered bar, passing drinks, taking money, and dodging around a few stray arms that were reaching for her bottom. It was like she was doing an elegant dance while still working. I immediately was envious of her shiny blonde hair tie up in a messy ponytail and her long legs sticking out of her skirt. A few men shouted jeers at her to which she ignored. At least she got the compliments. I didn’t even get comments made towards me.
“Am I pretty?” I asked, leaning towards the ginger next to me. He looked extremely shocked. Or constipated. I wasn’t sure which.
“What?” he asked. Maybe I was drunker than I think.
“Do I have a nice face? Would you shag me?” I reworded. He blinked a few times before letting a smirk cover his face.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’d shag you, but yes, you’re very pretty.” He told me, laughing into his chips. I’m pretty? Good enough answer for me.
“I’m pretty too, you know.” I told the bar maid with a smug smile as she put another pint in front of me. She eyed me warily before nodding and turning away again. Bugger to her, I was pretty.
I left the Three Broomsticks at around 11. I felt exhausted and was far too drunk to make it back without being noticed. I had to actually break into Honeydukes to return. I think I had woken the storekeeper up, but had made it to his cellar before he found me. It took me until half past midnight to make it back to Hogwarts. I had fallen multiple times, causing my hands to be very scraped up. I think I had managed to put a large hole in the knee of my new jeans. Bugger. I stumbled out of the passageway and lay there for a few seconds.
I didn’t feel up to moving. This stone floor was actually pretty comfortable. As it was the day before Thanksgiving, we didn’t have classes the next day. I could probably sleep here without anyone noticing me. It sounded very tempting. That is, until I heard a very suspicious churping noise. I took off towards the Gryffindor common room. Err…at least I felt like I was heading in the right direction.
Ouch! When did that wall get there? I rubbed my shoulder. Hell, I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I fell over several times. I felt my palms were beginning to become raw. I fell for the forth time and lay there, not moving. Maybe if I played dead, a ghost would try to take me over and would be able to control my body correctly. Once I sobered up, then I would be able to take my body from the ghost. For now, it would have to take me over.
“Lenny?” I heard someone question. I didn’t open my eyes, but smiled. The ghost had answered my wishes.
“Take me now before I change my mind,” I mumbled.
“Err, what?” the voice asked me. I peeked a eye open to see about five Remus’s giving me an identical look.
“None of you are Nearly Headless Nick or Moaning Myrtle.” I stated, sitting up. I felt nausea take over me, but swallowed back the desire to vomit everywhere.
“What are you going on about?” Remus asked, grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet. I nearly collapsed into his side. “You smell disgusting! Have you been drinking?”
“Yes’m.” I slurred, letting him hold me steady. Remus was bloody strong.
“Let’s get going before you get in trouble for being out of bed,” Remus sighed, dragging me down the hall.
“We can get in trouble together!” I exclaimed.
“I’m a prefect.”
“Oh. Bugger. Am I in trouble?”
“No, Lenny, you’re not. Just keep moving.” Remus pushed me first up the flight of stairs. Oh bloody hell, which stair was the real one and which were the ones caused by my drunkenness? I took a guess. Wrong. I began to fall backwards, but felt Remus steadying my back. I heard Remus’s angry sigh from behind me.
“Are you mad at me? Don’t be mad at me! I don’t like people being mad at me.” I whined. I glanced back to see Remus’s eyes drooping and his face pale. Great, now I made him sick.
“I’m just very tired, Lenny. That’s all.” Remus mumbled, rubbing his eyes for effect. At least it looked like he rubbed his eye. It could’ve been his ear with how drunk I was. Oh well.
”Do you have a lot of ear wax?” I asked him. It was an honest question, I was curious. I had a lot. Way too much, actually. It was kind of disgusting.
“What?” Remus did a double-take of me. “Bowtruckles.” Remus told a very disgruntled Fat Lady. She mumbled a few things, but I didn’t hear it.
“I have a lot of ear wax. Can we get a really big ear swab? I think they need to be cleaned.” I went to stick my pinky in my ear, but Remus grabbed it away.
“Lenny, you’re far too drunk.” I nodded at this. I knew that. “Come stay in our dorms tonight. You do not want to wake up any of your roommates.”
Well, that was true. They were a bit crabby when I messed up their “beauty sleep”. I didn’t see why beauty sleep was so important. I thought I was beautiful and I didn’t sleep that much. Bugger to sleeping, who needs it? Mary is ugly and she sleeps all the time. Well, I suppose Lily and Alice are pretty and they sleep a lot too. I guess beauty sleep doesn’t work on evil people.
It took a few pushes and a lot of falls, but we made it up to the boy’s dorms. It looked a lot cleaner than it had a few weeks prior. Though let’s be honest, I couldn’t really see that straight and it was pretty dark in the room. I heard very distinct snoring coming from every single bed. Except one was completely empty. I frowned, knowing it was Ludo’s. He must be staying in his brother’s dorm. Good riddance.
“I don’t wanna sleep in that bed.” I mumbled, pointing towards Ludo’s bed. I felt that it was extremely dirty and that I would catch something if I even got too close to it.
“Well…I heard Sirius’s bed is pretty comfortable.” Remus told me. I didn’t have to look at his face to know he was smirking at me. Comfortable sounded really good right now, though. I would absolutely love to just crash on something comfortable that wasn’t the floor. With the help of Remus, I made it to Sirius’s bed.
He looked oddly peaceful when he slept. He was curled up on his side like a small child, his knees nearly touching his stomach. His face wasn’t contorted in his normal discontent. His arms were wrapped around his pillow and around his own body. If I had a camera, I surely would have taken a picture to show people. No one would believe me if I told him. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to wake him up so instead, I crawled in the small place next to him.
His body practically radiated heat. I had forgotten how cold I was. If I cuddled up next to him, would he notice? His hot breath was pushing against my face as I tried to scoot a little closer without him noticing. Suddenly, he draped an arm over my side. I smiled in spite of myself. He still wasn’t awake. I saw a piece of hair falling into his face. Cliché, but I tried to brush it out of his face. He twitched his nose and started to stir. Oh this wasn’t going to be good.
Upon opening his eyes, he shrieked, falling backwards. His bed isn’t as large as you’d think, so when he moved backwards, he fell right off the bed. He took the blankets with him. Bugger. He was fully awake now, staring at me as though I was a workspurt.
“”What the bloody hell are you doing here?” Sirius hissed, his voice low as to not wake up the rest of the room.
“Remus brought me here.” I explained. Sirius sat up, but didn’t get off the ground. It was the first time I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I nearly turned as red as the Quidditch team colors. He had a twenty-pack, for Merlin’s sake! Was that even possible?
“Why aren’t you sleeping in his bed, then?” Sirius grumbled, glaring in Remus’s direction. I shrugged, because I really didn’t remember why. Sirius sighed, but got up into the bed, laying as far away from me as he could. He gave me one of his two pillows.
“Why do you smell like you bathed in fire whiskey?” He asked me, peering at my blood shot eyes.
“Spent all day in pubs.” I explained. I could feel myself sobering up, but I still couldn’t tell which Sirius was the real one.
“Why’s that?” Sirius asked me, closing his eyes and snuggling his face into his pillow. I don’t know l, but I felt compelled to tell him.
“My mom sent me a letter. My father killed someone and is in Azkaban. Mum’s without a job.” When I said it outloud, I felt my eyes sting with tears. I hadn’t thought about it all day and when it came out, the reality did too. I didn’t have a father anymore. We didn’t even have a proper family anymore.
“Wait, are you being serious?” Sirius’s eyes popped open and he looked at me with concern.
“No, I’m being Lenny. You’re being Sirius.” I told him. He smirked at me, but didn’t press any further. He casually draped his arm over my side again. I felt my body stiffen. I felt…weird, but comfortable. I felt kind of…safe? I wasn’t sure how to describe it. It must be the alcohol.
“Tell me something, Lenny.” I heard Sirius ask me. I honestly thought he had fallen asleep. I nodded, but upon remembering he didn’t have his eyes open, I cleared my throat.
“Uhm, yeah?” I answered. He peeked out from beneath his eyelids and a small smile filtered over his lips. It made me smile too.
“What’s Lennyland like?” he asked. I shifted nervously. I used to get teased constantly about Lennyland. The only reason he knew about it was because I told my teachers I was in Lennyland whenever I wasn’t paying attention. At least it wasn’t a lie.
“It’s not that interesting.” I mumbled, feeling my face flush.
“I really want to know.” Sirius said, blinking a few times. “Really.”
I don’t know what did it, but it was something in his eyes that made me tell him. I didn’t tell anyone about Lennyland, but here I lay, in Sirius Black’s arms, explaining to him what was all in Lennyland. I told him about the large field I would enter. I told him about the different things that appear in Lennyland when I need to be distracted. I told him how much time I spend in Lennyland. I even told him about how he had appeared in Lennyland. I had killed him. He laughed. I left out the part that he was in Lennyland a few days ago, but I wasn’t killing him. I think I was drunk then, too.
We ended up drifting away from Lennyland and talking about so much more. We talked about Quidditch and how Potter was going to kill us if we weren’t careful. I told him he owed me from Potter making me have to do laps. He laughed. I liked his laugh. I was still drunk, mind you. He made fun of me for losing to him in our duel. I pointed out he was the one that came out with a black eye. He asked me about my relationship with Teddy. Even though I felt a lot less close to him this year, I lied and said me and Teddy were close. Sirius called me out on it, so I admitted that we were drifting apart. Sirius told me about Regulus and how much he wished Regulus wasn’t such a pushover. We even began to play 20 questions.
“Shut up!” I heard Potter hiss towards us. I stifled my laughter as Sirius’s voice boomed throughout the room.
“Okay, okay, one more question.” Sirius whispered, letting his laughter die down. I was somehow resting on his chest. His breath tickled my forehead and blew my hair into my face. I grunted, pushing it out of my eyes.
“Okay, it was your turn anyways.” I said, yawning. I felt Sirius drawing small circles on my shoulder, but I didn’t care. I was bloody comfortable. Remus had been right.
“Tell me about your family.” Sirius said. I sighed, but thought of what I could tell him.
“Well, before this letter, we were all pretty close. Teddy and I are the only kids. Both of my parents are half bloods. My mum works…err worked for the Falcon’s advertising committee. She’s a bit of a nutter…I suppose that’s where I get it from. She’s so pretty, though. If you looked past all that came out of her mouth, everyone would love her. My father always had a temper, but he never took it out on us. He loved to spoil us when Mum wasn’t around. My grandparents are dead and I don’t have any aunts or uncles on either side, so it’s really just us. We are pretty close because of it. I mean…I suppose that’s all.” I ranted. Sirius didn’t say anything. I glanced up to make sure he wasn’t asleep, but he had his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“You must be like your mum.” He told me. I frowned, so he went on to explain. “Beautiful. You just have to look past the weird things that come out of her mouth.”
I froze up. I had no clue what to say to that. Did he just compliment me? Did he just flirt with me? This was beyond weird. I knew I was drunk, but that didn’t constitute weird behavior from other people. Only I was allowed to act strange. That was the general rule. Wait, had Sirius been joking? Had he meant I was a nutter? Probably. He’s always thought I was a nutter. This was just too strange. I was cuddling with Sirius Black and he had complimented me. God, I was too drunk for this.
I looked up at him to notice he was sound asleep, snoring lightly. Although I had the urge to get up and make the trek back to the girl’s dorms, I stayed put. In all ways, I should’ve gotten up and walked away. I should’ve accepted Lily’s wrath with greatness. I knew that it was incredibly wrong for me to sit here, but I felt connected with Sirius. Not just because I was resting against his chest, but because of the letters. Is it horrible for me to take advantage of that? Probably.
But hey, I’m drunk. I’m allowed to do things I want.
Author's Note: So tell me, how am I doing? Love it? Hate it? Think it's cliche? Think its not cliche enough? I love reviews and I always respond. I need to know what you readers think. I am always amazingly flattered when I see someone says "I love this story" or if they can relate to Lenny. That's the goal, loves.
Ive added some amazing chapter images to earlier chapters, so if you're interested in how I see certain characters, take a peek. If this chapter is worth a review, please give it :D.