Chapter 3 : Confession 3 - Of Spilling Secrets, Annoying The Enemy And Telling My Best Mates
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Chapter Image by naughtforreal @TDA
"What the fuck are you two doing in here. Everyone else has gone back up to the castle to the Room of requirement to chill out except Kay and Livi who said they were going to the common room. I decided to come and find out where you two had gone as you weren't at the bar. Now why was the door locked with magic?" Dom said as her eyes looked at me hunched on the toilet seat with the pregnancy test still in my hand and then they flickered to Rose who was stood near the counter where the potion was. Dom's eyes grew wide, in fact they were huge.
"Again are you gonna explain why the fuck your in here, why the door was locked with magic and why is there a pregnancy potion by there and a test in your hand?" Dom nearly yelled, looking pretty pissed.
"Close the door Dom and I'll explain." Rose said calmly.
Dom looked at Rose clearly annoyed, "For fuck's sake Rose. Again?"
Honestly I have no idea how Dom's brain works, has she not noticed that I'm the one bawling my eyes out, with a pregnancy test in my hand. Rose locked the door with a different spell and then she started to tell Dom the story. I was thankful she left out Jake's name.
I'm sixteen for crying out loud, I can't have a baby. I'm still a baby myself, I still rely on my mum for most things. I mean I think I know what I'm going to do, abortion is out of the question there's no way I could do it and I don't think I could live with myself. So that leaves keeping it or adoption and I have to tell Jake. I mean if my stomach sticks out a little now, wait nine months and I'll be bloody huge.
Rose must have finished explaining as Dom came into my cubicle and pulled me into a hug. She broke away and pushed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "Lil's it's going to be ok, we're gonna get this sorted." She said pointing at my stomach which was concealed behind my legs.
I wasn't able to speak, was Dom suggested what I think she was. I tried to speak but Rose got there before me," Dom, you can't make decisions for her. She's sixteen and old enough to make them herself."
Dom looked at me, her blue eyes still wide and then at Rose, "Exactly Rose, she's sixteen and pregnant. She not going to be able to look after a baby through her fifth year and she's got her O.W.L's coming up. What's she gonna do, turn up to her exam with a screaming baby on her hip. I hardly think so."
I can't believe Dom was suggesting I get and abortion, is she for real? And she keeps on talking like I'm not even in the room.
"Lily's old enough and what ever she chooses to do, I'll support her. I know what it's like." Rose calmly told Dom whilst giving me a small smile.
Dom put her hands on her hips making her look slightly evil what with the curtain of blonde hair that was down her back, "Well I'm sure you two have a lot in common, what with both of you getting Knocked up before your eighteen." Dom then pointed a finger at Rose, "You should have got it sorted before you got attached and became so fucking miserable and grew so old over the summer and she..." Dom spun around and pointed a perfectly manicured finger at me, " She should get this sorted before she loves it."
I'd had enough, "SHUT UP!" I yelled, "BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!, Rose is right I'm sixteen and it's my decision not your's Dom. If you think I could live with myself after killing my unborn baby then you've got another thing coming." I paused for breath and to wipe away my tears, "I didn't ask to get pregnant and neither did Rise. Do you really think she wanted to lose her baby, No. But we're the one's who have to live with the fact we got pregnant so young. I don't care what you think Dom, I'm doing this my way and no one, NO ONE is going to change my mind. OK!"
I stood up and pushed past Dom, grabbing Rose's bag with the test's in as well as my own, unlocked the door and stormed out. Who does she think she is, she's doesn't know what it's like to have tiny little mistake to change your whole life forever. I still had the test in my hand so I threw it in the nearest bin before running through Hogmeade.
A carriage was just about to leave but I managed to jump in. I hadn't noticed there were people in it and they happened to be none other than Laura and Bloody Becca. Great could my day get any worse.
"Hi Lily, you ok. I heard you were feeling better." Laura said brightly as her head bobbed sending her light brown ponytail all over the place. Laura can be really nice, but we've never really gotten on, mainly because her best mate is Becca who hates my entire family. They've know each other since they were little because Becca's mum is some distant relative of Laura's dad.
"Are you crying Lily?" Becca's dull voice asked.
Isn't that bloody obvious there's tears running down my and snot dripping from my nose, god she's so stupid. "No, I'm impersonating a fountain." I said sarcastically.
Laura giggled and Becca gave me a dirty look, "Jeez, I was only asking. No need to bite my head off."
"Yeah well you can clearly see I'm crying, so was there any point in asking me."
"She has a point Bec." Laura pointed out. See this is why I like Laura, she's one of the only people who will stand up to Becca. Most people won't argue with her as she always wins no matter what, but Laura will and she's know's she'll win. Becca will go in a strop for a few days and then come crawling back. I've never known why Laura takes her time after time, but then again Becca is family and who else would they speak to.
"Siding with her you. Siding with the traitors, half-bloods, muggle-lovers and mudbloods are we Laura." Becca said slyly.
God she's suck a dick. I hate her.
"Bec, you've got to stop believing all that shit that your mum tells you. That was back in her day, times have changed for the good of our future and you know it." Laura said loudly.
That shut her up, she thinks she know's everything because her mother is Pansy Parkinson. Becca's exactly like her, she thinks she rules the Slytherin girl's dorm which she doesn't and she thinks that all the boys want her when they don't. I swear she lives in a totally different universe, actually I wish she did because then I wouldn't have to put up with her.
We were nearly at the castle and as soon as the carriage stopped Becca was first out, she entered the castle without even waiting for Laura. I started to walk with Laura through the entrance hall and I could just make out Becca heading towards the dungeons.
"Do you want a tissue?" Laura asked, pulling out a packet and offering me one as we walked up the grand staircase.
I took one and smiled at her, "Thanks Laur."
"Do you want to talk about why your upset and is there anything I can do for you."
"Not really," Merlin no, the whole school would probably know within five minutes, "Could you find Livi and Kayl if it's no trouble."
She nodded, "Sure, but where are you going to be."
I smiled to myself as I thought of somewhere, "Tell them I'll be near a place which brings couple's together. They'll know what I mean."
"Ok," She said giving me a confused look as she carried on up the stairs, she stopped halfway and turned around, "Lil, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."
I made my way up to the second floor, thinking about how I was going to tell Jake and then our parents. Mum and dad are gonna kill me. I looked around checking for prefects and teachers before pushing the wooden door with a sign that said 'Girls' open and entering.
You may wonder why checked, well this isn't an ordinary Hogwarts' bathroom it's the entrance to the Chamber Of Secret's and it's haunted by this ghost called Moaning Myrtle. Normally students avoid it unless their desperate to use the loo. I made sure that Myrtle wasn't around, I really don't need her knowing that I'm pregnant. Myrtle's nearly as bad as Laura and Becca when it comes to gossip.
I walked passed all the toilets and stopped outside the wall at the end, I looked behind me before pulling my wand out and tapping the six bricks in a specific order. As the last brick flashed blue I leant against the wall and came out in my secret room. Actually it's mine, Kayl and Livi's secret room, we got Rose to make it for us as we had no where to hang out. It's a bit like the room of requirement, it's completely soundproof and know one know's it's here.
To enter you have to tap six specific bricks in a certain order, we change it every week so that no one can guess it. I placed the bags on one of the bean bags and sat on the sofa. I'm gonna take another test, I thought, just to make sure that I am.
I got out another of the muggle tests, looked through the mirror that hands beside where we come in and saw that the bathroom was empty. I walked through and went into the end cubicle and did what I had to. I sat there staring at the two line, I'm pregnant for sure.
"Psst, Lily are you in here?" I heard my other best friend Kayleigh Jessop whisper.
"Like that's going to work Kayl. The room's soundproof." I heard Livi say.
"Oh yeah I forget." Kayl muttered. I smiled to myself, Kayl is kinda ditzy as you can tell and can always make me laugh no matter what.
I cleared my throat and spoke, "Guys, I'm in here." I stuffed the the test in my pocket and unlocked the door. Kayl come rushing towards me, her blonde hair flying everywhere and pulled me into a hug.
"Laura said you were upset, what's wrong." They both said in unison.
I nodded to the room, "In there."
They nodded and Livi pulled her wand out and tapped the bricks. Once we were all inside I flopped down on a bean bag and sighed. "You two need to sit down, I have to tell you something." They both looked at me but sat down on the sofa. I opened my mouth but closed it again, if I can't tell my best friends then how the hell am I supposed to tell Jake.
I took a deep breath and tried to find all my courage, I'm a Gryffindor for Merlin's sake, "You know how I've been ill all week, well itsbecauseImprgenant." I said the last of it all merging together.
Livi looked at me, "Say that last bit again Lil."
"I said it's because I'm pregnant." I told her slowly.
I saw the colour drain out of her face and she didn't say anything, she just sat there open mouth whereas Kayl asked, "Can we be godmothers?"
I raised my eyebrows at her, "Kay I've just said I'm pregnant at sixteen and your asking if you can be godmothers."
She nodded before pulling me into another hug. I swear that girl is mad, but then again with five siblings at home you might be. Kayl is a half-blood and lives with her mum, step-dad, her brother Alfie (who's a third year Gryffindor) and her half sisters: Ellie and Jasmine and half brothers:Toby and Ryan. Her dad ran out on her, her mum and Alfie when she was three and Alfie was one, she's never seen him since and has always called her step-dad 'dad'.
Once she let go I turned to Livi, "Say something please."
"A-a-are you sure?" She stuttered.
I nodded, "Pretty sure. I've done three tests and they're all positive." I pulled out the one from my pocket and showed it to her.
"Lil, how? when? who? and how are you so calm?" Livi asked as Kayl sat one of the other bean bags.
Calm, does she honestly think I am calm. I am not calm, I'm going insane, I'm sixteen and pregnant. I'm still a child at school. My cousins and best friends know before the father.
"Liv unless you didn't pay attention when we were given sex ed lessons then I'm pretty sure you know how. About six weeks ago, after the Gryffindor Versus Slytherin Quidditch match and with Jake, obviously."
"Lil how could have been so silly not to use protection."
I rolled my eyes, Livi is the mother hen of our group and she takes good care of us even if she can go a bit overboard. "Save me the lecture Liv, Dom and Rose have already said it." I said wearily as I got out my bottle of water, "I said the charm wrong as it was all heat of the moment."
"Wait Dom and Rose know?"
"Yeah, Rose thought I was pregnant because of my symptoms and Dom walked in and saw the pregnancy test in my hand." I explained looking from Livi to Kayl, before taking a swig of water.
Kayl smiled wickedly at me before saying innocently, "Was he any good?"
The water came shooting out of my mouth and nose and whilst I tried to stop coughing Livi yelled at Kay, "You can't asking people things like that."
"B-because that's private between Lily and Jake." She spluttered.
I smiled, "It's fine Liv. I guess so, I mean it's not like I've slept with anyone else so I can't exactly compare him. But yeah I guess it was good." We all looked at each other and burst out laughing.
We sat there for a while and it was Livi who broke the silence, "So what are you gonna do?"
"I'm not sure, I'm not having abortion that's for sure. That leaves me with keeping the baby or adoption. I still have to tell Jake, and I guess we'll decide together. If he wants anything to do with me and it."
Kayl put her arm around me, "Lil, Jake loves you and you know it. He'll stay, I know he will."
"You've really got to tell him soon. And by soon I mean today or tomorrow."
I sighed, I know I have to tell him but if what if I mess it up. What if he doesn't want anything to do with me or the baby, what am I going to do then.
After half an hour of discussing when and how I'm going to tell Jake we left. Kay and Livi offered to come back to the common room but I told them to go to lunch as it was just gone one o'clock. The castle was quiet as I walked up to the seventh floor and thought about the thing that was growing inside of me, there's an actual person inside me. Ok they may not look like a baby right now if I'm what five, six weeks but once it grows it will.
I didn't see Rose or Dom as I passed the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and his ballet dancing trolls. The common room was empty when I entered, the fire flickering away. I took the tests out of Rose's bag and put them in my own before dropping her bag off in the seventh year dorm. After that I went and hid my own bag at the bottom of my trunk and gathered up the homework Rose had brought me.
I went back into the common and sat down in one of the squishy red arm chairs, spreading my books out around me. It didn't take too long and I was done by half two, there were more people in the common room, mainly first and second years since their not allowed to Hogsmeade.
After packing my stuff I decided to take a walk, as I got halfway through the castle I changed my mind and headed towards the astronomy tower. Ever since Albus Dumbledore fell off the tower, people don't really use it because they think it's haunted. I know I'll have privacy and that I'll be able to think in peace. I conjured up a pillow and blanket, arranging them against one of the walls before sitting down. I pulled my legs up so that my chin was touching my knees and looked over of the grounds, letting my thoughts wander.
I honestly think I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know, I'm curled up the foetal position and the sky is dark. I yawned and stretched as I sat up, rubbing my eyes. Deciding that I really should go back to the common room, I made the pillow and blanket vanish and left.
The common room was pretty full when I entered and I was nearly knocked over as Livi and Kayl hurled themselves at me, Livi yelled, "Oh my god, where have you been?"
"We were so worried." Kayl chimed in.
"I'm honestly," I told them as they each took an arm and guided me up the girls staircase, "I just went to the Astronomy tower and I must have fell asleep."
"You nearly gave us a heart attack, don't ever do that again Lil. Especially now your y'know."
"Liv you can say it, just not infront of other people."
"Fine, especially now your pregnant. Now go get your pyjamas on, we're having a girly night since you've had a pretty rubbish day." Livi instructed me.
We spent the night painting our nails, doing our hair and talking about stuff and avoiding the subject of me being pregnant all together. When I curled up in my nice warm bed, I thought how ironic that it was wasn't long ago that mum was lecturing me the night before my sixteenth birthday about sex and using protection. And here I was seven months later, a few weeks pregnant.
Fifth is year is so not going to be fun.
Next chapter is a flashback - Enjoy
Edited - 24/11/12
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