Chapter 16 : Anything But A Romance Novel
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You know when you flip through a book, so fast the pages make a fan? That's what my life seemed like.
One month and seventeen days had passed since the day I walked out of the Potions Room. One month and seventeen days since I had looked Scorpius in the eye.
I couldn't bear to look into his eyes, to see the hurt I'd caused him at the things I'd said. It had felt good at first, knowing he was hurt a little, if not as badly as I was. But then time passed.
I felt so guilty. But I couldn't explain why. I'd said the truth; I hated him. I really did. I hated the way he made me so sad, hated the guilt that gnawed at my stomach, I hated the way chest hurt whenever I saw him. And most of all, I hated the shivers that went down my spine whenever I was near him. I hated what he was doing to me. And because of that, I hated him.
It had also been one month and seventeen days since the night Rowan asked Dominique out. Merlin, that had been the only good part of that day. I smiled to myself, remembering the funny memory.
I watched like a hawk as Rowan approached Dom and whispered something in her ear. I saw her shrink back from him, and glare defiantly at him.
“I'm not going anywhere with you, Finnigan.” Dom looked at him as if he was something gross she found on her shoe.
A mischievous little grin crept up over Rowan's face.
“'Scuse me, Rosie.” He said, turning to me. I leaned away from the desk I had been writing at, and watched in surprise as Rowan climbed on top of it.
“I would like to make an announcement.” Rowan's voice carried through the crowded Common Room, interrupting conversations and making every face turn towards him. But hey, when you were are good looking as Rowan was, you could do that.
“I have been a complete jerk to someone, and I would like to apologize.” His gaze turned to Dom. “Dominique, I am the world's biggest prat for not asking you out the moment I first kissed you. Will you please go out with me?”
Dom, the stubborn French girl she was, simply crossed her arms over her chest.
“How do I know you're not just using me for sex?” She raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously.
Giggles and cat calls broke the silence, but Rowan just smiled.
“As amazing at that you are, it's not just for the sex.” He hopped down from the desk, landing in front of her and pulling her up.
“I'll ask again.” He took both of her hands, intertwining his fingers with hers and looked her in the eyes. “Dominique Weasley, please go out with me.”
A moment of weighted silence filled the room, all eyes on Dom as we waited for her to answer.
Finally, a smug smile broke out over her face.
“Took you long enough!” She scolded, but threw her arms around him, kissing him full on the mouth.
I laughed, for what felt like the first time that day, as cheers erupted around me and the couple in front of us continued kissing.
It all seemed like like two minutes ago. But it was five days until Christmas break now, five days until I was home for the holidays. And away from everything here, I finally got to escape.
“Hey, Rose, can we talk to you?” Al's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I looked up. I had been studying in the library, cramming for a Astronomy test we had in an hour.
I pushed my star charts away from me, and smiled up at my cousin and best friend, who were hand in hand, as they hovered above my table.
They sat opposite me, watching my cautiously.
I felt my good mood waver slightly, what was going on here?
“What's wrong?” I said suspiciously.
“Well,” started Ryan, “you know how I'm coming for Christmas.”
I nodded, smiling again. I had begged my parents to let Ryan stay with us, and even went into Herbology early to beg Neville, a.k.a Ryan's dad.
“Well, since we're spending it at the Burrow, Nana Molly said I could invite a friend too.” Albus looked like he was about to witness a building being blown up.
“And?” I asked, still not seeing the problem.
Ryan and Albus exchanged a worried look.
“Oh, just tell me!” I cried, frustrated.
Al took a deep breath.
“Scorpius is spending Christmas with us.”
So much for escaping.
“Merlin, Rose, what is up with you?” Ryan flopped down on the bed in front of me. It was the next morning and I was curled up with a book in our dorm, killing time before our first lesson.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, regarding her over the top of the book I had buried myself in.
“Whatever happened to fun Rose?” She burst out, blonde brows crinkling. “You said you were going to be more fun, and you've gone right back to quiet Rose.” She glared at my accusingly.
I snapped my copy of 'Legilimency and Occlumency; A Guide' shut and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Excuse me?” I snapped, my voice both pissed and incredulous.
“Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about!” She pushed herself into a sitting position, crossing her arms over her chest.
“No, I don't!” I insisted.
“Fine!” Ryan may seem sweet but she could be scary when she wanted to. “But don't get mad at me for telling the truth.”
“I won't” I snarled back at her, slamming my book down onto my nightstand.
“You're even worse your quiet self! There was nothing wrong when you were quiet, but this, this is annoying as hell! You're moody, reserved, stubborn, grouchy and you're acting like a Goddamn bitch! I get that Scorpius hurt you, but either get over it or make up with him already!”
She finished breathing a little heavy after the long angry speech. Neither of us said anything, we just say staring at each other.
I shook my head a little, trying to hear it. “How I am acting has nothing to with Malfoy! This is how I have always been and who I am, so sorry if that's not good enough for you!” I cried.
I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes but I could also see something else. Pity.
“Scorpius has everything to do with this, sooner you realize this the better.” She seemed to calm down a little, and she put her hand on my knee. “I know you're hurt, but things will turn out okay.”
I couldn't help it. I just snapped at her. All my hurt feelings over the past month and a half that my friends seemed to be getting a happy ending had just burst out.
“My life isn't a fucking romance novel, I'm not guaranteed a happy ending!” I stood up from my bed, towering over her. “And I don't know what you're talking about, I've always acted this way, you must have swallowed some Confusion Concoction.”
I turned on my heel, and marched out of the room.
I kept walking until I was outside. I shoved open the heavy doors and made my way down the icy path, my breath coming out in puffs. I glanced back at the school, Hogwarts was beautiful in the winter. The windows were frosted, and icicles hung down in sharp points. Winter was really upon us, everything had turned white. Frost had crystallized the needles of the trees, making them shine, and snow capped the tree tops. The grounds were covered in a thick blanket of snow. Even the lake was frozen, a blank sheet of grey ice. But beauty aside, it was bloody freezing out here.
“Rose!” A voice from behind me called, and I whipped around.
Grayson Thomas was treading carefully over the icy ground towards me. Grayson, the older brother of my fellow Chaser, Gracie, was a tall boy with mocha coloured skin and deep brown eyes. His hair was a floppy mess of waves atop his head and he was always smiling. Grayson, like me was in Gryffindor, and in the sixth year too. He was one of those friends that you only really talked to if you were together. It'd been ages since I'd talked to him, even though we were in most of the same classes.
“Hi, Grayson.” I smiled up at him as he came to a stop in front of me.
“Long time, no see, Rosie.” His teeth flashed white against his dark skin and his smile widened. Then his expression fell. “You're upset, why are you upset?”
I sighed, and crossed my arms across my chest, half in an effort to keep warm, half to look annoyed. “Is it that obvious?”
“I'm just good at reading people, I guess.” He ran a hand through is messy air, and looked at me curiously.
I shrugged, not really sure how to respond.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, his eyes sincere now.
I started to shake my head no, but a question fell from my lips before I could stop it. “Am I a bitch?”
He seemed a little taken aback at my question, but looked at me hard, as if thinking.
“No.” He said finally.
I breathed a sigh of relief, and it came out a white puff. He silently slipped off his robe and handed it to me. I took it, sliding my arms through the huge sleeves.
“Are you telling the truth?” I said, my voice coming out a little more demanding than I meant it.
He smirked a little, but answered seriously. “You're not. You can be stubborn, and grouchy, but everyone else can too. You're just a little quieter than most, that doesn't make you a bitch though.”
I nodded, a small but sad smile pulling my lips up. I felt something wet slid down my cheek, and he reached up, almost automatically, and brushed away the tear. I shifted, a little uncomfortable, but he didn't seem to notice.
“Why do you ask?” He replied, for once looking totally serious.
“Ryan and I got into a fight, and...” I trailed off, not knowing what to say really.
He nodded, looking thoughtful. “I see.”
“Yeah.” I said, softly.
I looked away, trying to hide the fact that I felt more tears coming when I felt his arms wrap around me. I stiffened surprised for a moment, but wrapped my arms around him too, enjoying the warmth and comfort. He broke away, and smiled down at me, his arm still around my shoulder.
“Come on, Rosie, time for class.” And we walked up the path, taking care not to slip and entered the castle.
“Oh, bloody hell,” I hissed glancing around for an escape, “there's Ryan”
“Oh, no, you don't, Rose!” Grayson's arm around my shoulder as I attempted to run away, to hide from my friend. I knew she was right, but I just couldn't face her yet. I was too embarrassed.
“You're going and apologizing” Grayson grinned wickedly down at me, and shoved me slightly towards her. I glared over my shoulder at him, but, nevertheless, I stepped towards my angry looking best friend.
Grayson had gotten the full story about the mine and Ryan's fight as we walked to Potions class, his arm still firmly around my shoulders. Grayson was easy to talk to, and it was nice to vent for once. I realized I was staring at Ryan, lost in thought.
“Can we talk, Ry?” I asked, looking at her a little pleadingly.
“No.” She turned her nose up a little, like she always did when she was mad. “I don't want to be late for class.” She told me in a superior manner.
I snorted. “That's never stopped you before.”
A smile cracked her serious facade, but disappeared as quickly as it had come. “No, Rose.”
“Too bad.” I grabbed her arm and tugged her down the hall a little. The corridor was empty, class had begun.
“Let go of me!” Ryan complained. But my grip was strong, Quidditch had that affect on you.
I slacked my grip anyway.
I took a deep breath and looked Ryan straight in her narrowed eyes. “You're right. I am the world's biggest bitch. And I'm sorry for that, it's just...” I trailed off.
“It's just what, Rose?” Ryan's eyes had softened and she looked concerned now, no longer angry. That was what I loved about Ryan, her anger was always overridden by her heart.
“It's- well- er- I'm jealous, I guess!” I blurted out.
Ryan's eyebrows knit together, and her mouth pouted confusedly. “Of what?”
I sighed,and so the truth comes out.
“You and Dom both seem to be getting happy endings and I'm not.” I whispered.
“Rose.” Ryan moaned, and she put an arm around my shoulders. I fought back the tears that were threatening to overflow my eyelids. “We're only sixteen, what Dom and I have isn't a happy ending. It's a high school fling. It will never last.” She looked like she was going to continue but a voice cut across her, and we both whipped around to face the speaker.
“It's nice to know what you really think of our relationship.” Albus was standing a few feet behind us, rage and hurt battling for the dominant emotion on his face. The rage won. He looked at Ryan scathingly for a moment before turning and walking quickly down the corridor.
“Oh, no.” I heard Ryan breathe, before she ran down the dark hall after him.
I sighed, and wiped away the tears that had fallen over my cheeks. I readjusted my bag, and took a couple deep breaths, and, hoping no one could tell I'd been crying, walked into the Potions room.
“Ten points from Gryffindor for tardiness, Miss Weasley.” Professor Alban said, as soon as I walked into the class.
Head down, I hurried to my desk, my face the signature Weasley red. I slid into my seat and side glanced at the person next to me. For the first time in one month and eighteen days, I let my eyes meet Scorpius's for a second. But I looked away quickly, swallowing the butterflies in my stomach and the shivers in my spine. Instead I turned my eyes on Dominique.
She was looking at me questioningly from her seat a row away from mine. I smiled a little at her and she brightened, beaming back at me. Dom crossed her eyes, and stuck out her tongue at me before turning away. Stiffing a giggle, I turned my attention back to Professor Alban.
“Now class, as I was saying before,” he shot me a withering look, “now that we have finished with the Polyjuice Potion, today, we will be making the Strengthening Solution. Please turn to page thirty six of your text book.”
I sighed, and fished my book out of my bag.
“And then she ran after him.” I explained to Dom, as we walked through the portrait hole and into the Common Room.
“Merlin, I can't believe he heard her say that!” Dom shook her head in disbelief, her blond curls escaping its bun.
“I know, talk about bad timing.” I mumbled.
Dom nodded solemnly, looking worried.
I started to push through the crowd, it was busy in the Common Room; full of students dropping off their bags before heading down to the Great Hall for lunch.
“Did you mean what you said though?” I heard Dom say in a voice that she only used when she was really serious.
“About what?” I asked, turning to lean up against the wall and looking at her.
“About being jealous of us.”
I thought about it for a moment. “Yes... And no.”
Dom cocked her head to one side, looking at me curiously.
“I do want what you guys have but... At the same time I don't.” For some reason my throat was getting thick, the way it does when I'm about to cry. “I really don't think I can handle getting my heart broken again.” The words had come out without me even realizing I was saying them. I hated to admit I was one of those girls who got their heart broken in school and never really got over it, but at this point I was. I was still hurting.
I tried to shrug it off, but I could tell Dom saw the tears in my eyes.
“Rose.” Dom said softly, stepping towards me a little. “Are you okay? I mean, all that stuff this past year... Well, it wasn't too long ago.” She looked at me in that concerned and pitying way.
Merlin, I hated that look. I had gotten it a lot about nine months ago, and I couldn't stand when people gave me it.
I felt myself turn to stone, and I rolled back my shoulders in an effort to relax myself.
“That has nothing to do with this, Dom. Fifth year is over. Let's go find Ryan.” I said stiffly, turning around and heading up the stairs to the dormitories.
It was quiet in the dorm, and it was empty of my best friend. Then I heard the familiar trickle of water from the shower. Ryan was in the shower.
It might seem weird to some people, but when Ryan was upset she took showers. Really long, hot showers where she used up every body wash, shampoo, conditioner and face wash she could lay her hands on. You knew it was bad with Ryan when you heard the water running.
I sighed and turned to Dom, an even more worried look than before plastered over her face.
“We'll just have to wait.” And I walked over and flopped down on Ryan's bed.
It was almost half an hour before the water turned off. Classes had started but we didn't care, Defence Against the Dark Arts could live without us. In the half hour, I'd gotten Winkie the House-Elf, the tiny and ancient elf that always came when I called, to bring up some sweets for us, all of Ryan's favourites. Packages of crisps, Liquorice Wands, Honeyduke's chocolate and, my personal favourite, Jelly Slugs, lay in a huge pile at one side of the bed. On the other side lay a pair of Dom's softest sweatpants, and my worn Chudley Canons sweatshirt that I knew Ryan loved. Dom sat cross legged on the floor, waiting with nail polish. We were ready for the worst.
The doorknob of the bathroom turned and Ryan stepped out. She was wrapped in a fluffy white towel, her long brown hair dripping down her back. I could smell the scents of various bath products from across the room. Her lips were pulling down at the sides and her eyes looked red and puffy.
We said nothing as we waited for her to change, and she pulled on the clothes slowly before taking a seat on the bed next to me. I handed her a Jelly Slug.
“Al and I broke up.” She mumbled, a tear carving its way down her cheek.
I wrapped my arms around her. “Oh, Ry, tell us what happened.”
Dom hopped onto the bed next to us, and unwrapped the chocolate, popping a square into her mouth. Dom had a chocolate addiction.
“I-I ran after him, and I yelled at him to stop w-walking away.” The tears were coming a little faster now. Though Ryan and Al had only been dating for a month, I was fairly sure they loved each other. Or was sure. “H-He did, and he pulled me into an empty classroom. And...”
I could already feel the tears building up behind my eyes, as Albus pulled me gruffly by the arm into an empty classroom. His grip was hard, not soft and gentle like it usually was. And when he turned and faced me, his green eyes were as hard as emeralds.
“Please, Al.” I exclaimed. “You know I didn't mean that!”
“I don't know that for sure!” He shouted back, he looked livid.
“Trust me!” I yelled back.
“Did you mean it?!” He asked, his voice angry but pleading.
“No!... Well, a little. But not in the way you think!” I stumbled over my words, trying to express my jumbled thoughts.
“What?!” His eyes were blazing now, like fire.
“I mean, I like you more than any guy than I ever have. And I might ever think I lo-” I stopped myself before I went any further and probably embarrassed myself. “But we're still in school! Who's knows what's going to happen? We might not last, Albus.”
I finished and looked at him pleadingly, praying that he would understand and not take it the wrong way. He took it the wrong way.
“Is that what you think?!” He bellowed, and I flinched. He was seriously scaring me. “Well, if that's what you think of our relationship, if you don't even believe we'll have a future, then we mind as well not have one. Goodbye, Ryan.”
He stormed away from me, heading for the door.
“Wait, Al!” I cried. “Don't-”
But the door slammed shut and I was left alone in an empty room.
I felt a few tears escape my eyes, but I brushed them away. I quietly let myself out of the room, and hurried up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. I vaguely remembered that I should be in class, but right now, school was the furthest thing from my mind.
I ran up the stairs to the dormitory, and slammed the door shut behind me. I quickly grabbed my towel, and scurried into the bathroom, letting the door shut with a thud behind me.
“And then I took a shower and you guys came up here.” I finished lamely. I reached for a Liquorice Wand, having already devoured the Jelly Slug, and stuffed it in my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Rose asked softly, rubbing my back gently.
I shook my head jerkily back and forth, watching as my vision blurred, reducing my friends to blobs.
“Want me to give you a manicure?” Dom asked in the same concerned tone Rose used, and I almost laughed. Dom tried, but she just really wasn't the comforting type, she got awkward with tears and feelings. But I knew she was trying and I loved her for it.
I nodded, and watched as she started filing my nails before brushing on a nail polish onto my fingers. It was cold on nails, and even with my eyes closed I could tell which nail she was painting. I glanced quickly at the colour, and instantly fell in love. It was the same colour as a robin's egg; blue, but not blue, a little bit of green and grey mixed in there too. It was beautiful.
Rose smiled at me when she saw me smiling, and passed me another Liquorice Wand. It was great having friends sometimes.
“Rose.” I asked, forgetting my misery for a moment as curiosity took over. “What ever happened between you and Scorpius?”
A/N: So Dom and Rowan finally get together, yah :) But Ryan and Albus broke up :( Sadness, sorry but it had to be done! How do you like Grayson? Good? Bad? Annoying? Tell me what you think :) Keeping reading and reviewing guys, it means the world to me!
So I was thinking, now that I have decided to keep the title the same, I would like to have a banner for my story. Unfourtunetly, I have no artistic talent annnnd no clue how to make one! If anyone one would be interested in making one or in explaining how the heck you make one (honestly I have no clue), drop me a review! That'd be awesome :) Sorry about the super long A/N! Read and review! Love you all xoxo
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