Chapter 9 : The Apparent Walk of Shame
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“I love you, Braxtany.” He whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine.
“Really? Do you mean it Colton?”
“I swear. You’re too perfect not to love.”
“Calm down James.”
“I can’t calm down! We have a match today!”
“I know.” Lily sighed. It was Sunday morning, around 7 am and we had a mandatory team breakfast. The game wasn’t until 1.
“Bee, we need to talk strategy.”
“We’ve already talked strategy. Remember? You cornered me last night In the common room.”
“You have a tendency to not listen to what I say.”
“I’m sorry James, what was that?”
“Not funny Everard.” I grinned.
“Seriously James, I know what I’m doing.”
“You may think that, but you’ve been out of practice almost all season. You’re the weak link!” I threw my biscuit at him. He just scowled. But the moment Lily rested her hand on his arm, he relaxed.
To my right Shane had his head resting on the table and I’m pretty sure he was asleep. Across from me, James and Lily were whispering to each other in hushed tones. Next to James, Sirius sat with his head down picking at his eggs. Things had been a little tense with us since we woke up wrapped in each others arms friday night. James and Lily however had wasted no time getting together officially. I still hadn’t spoken to Remus about it yet.
“Oi Sebastian! Care to pass the toast?” I asked.
“Sure, hit Shane though will you? We should force some caffeine down his throat.” I smiled and did just that.
“Bloody hell!” Shane exclaimed when I punched him in the side. “Fuck Bee that’s going to bruise.” I shrugged and passed him a cup of coffee, which he took gratefully.
“You’re a beater. Toughen up Hall.”
“Bee, someone’s waiting outside the hall for you.” Isaiah told me as he sat down. I looked at him, slightly puzzled.
“Who? And why can’t they come in here?”
“It’s Wood. And how should I know why he won’t come in?”
“Well yeah, how many other Woods are at this school?” I stood up and shot a quick glance at Sirius who had stopped moving, but remained staring at his plate.
“Whoa there Everard! Team breakfast! No ditching for Ravenclaws!”
“Keep your trousers on. I’ll be back soon. Besides he’s rooting for us today. Anyway I’ve been here since you dragged me from sleep this morning and Crawford just got here”
“Oi! Unfair! I’m the only one in my dorm, I had to wake myself up.”
“No one cares Isaiah.” Shane said before turning his attention to me. “Boyfriend here to give you a good luck kiss?”
“Fuck off Hall.” I snapped.
“Touchy, touchy not getting enough love?” Sebastian teased making an inappropriate hand gesture.
“I’ll be back.” I said and I made my way out of the Great Hall to a bunch of cat calls from Sebastian, Shane and Isaiah. I turned around to flip them off and locked eyes with Sirius, who was watching me leave with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Bee!” Declan exclaimed when I stepped out of the hall.
“Hey!” I replied, a smile instantly slipping onto my face. He swept me up into a hug.
“How are you feeling?”
“James somehow found his way into my dorm room this morning and literally dragged me out of bed. So I’m a little bitter about that, otherwise I’m good. What are you doing here so early?”
“I knew James would highjack the team until the game started, so I just wanted to wish you luck before he whisked you away to focus.” I laughed.
“You know him well.” He smiled at me and there was a moment of silence.
“Also, I got you something.”
“Declan! You didn’t have to do that!” He shrugged.
“I saw it last Hogsmeade weekend and I’ve been looking for a time to give it to you. I figure it might bring you luck, so today would be perfect.” I smiled up at him, but inside I was feeling a little uneasy. This was feeling very boyfriendy.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bracelet. It was simple, a thin red leather strap and a small round silver pendant tied to it. But when I looked at the pendant I saw a small lion in mid roar engraved on it. My breath caught.
“Declan, it’s beautiful!”
“It’s perfect! Thank you!” I leapt on him in a tight hug, which he responded to enthusiastically.
“I know you don’t usually like to wear jewelry, but I thought you might like this?” I pulled away a bit so that I could see his face while still keeping my arms wrapped around him.
“Declan I love it, it’s perfect.” Someone cleared their thought behind me and I whipped around. It was Sirius.
“Sorry to interrupt.” He said coldly, his eyes trained dangerously on Declan. “But James wants you back at the table.”
“I’ll be back in a moment.” I said cautiously, trying to catch his eye. But his gaze wouldn’t leave Declan.
“Gryffindors only.” He said sharply before turning and walking back into the hall.
“He really hates me.” Declan said, running a hand through his hair.
“Mm,” I mumbled noncommittally. “Well I guess that’s my cue. But, before I go, can you tie this on?” He beamed.
“Course.” He secured the little red strap around my wrist and gave me another brief hug, whispering “Good luck.” in my ear before I headed back into the hall. Sirius wouldn’t look at me as I took my seat back at the table. But Lily’s keen eye quickly spotted the new addition to my wrist.
“Let me see it!” She squealed. “Oh Bee! It’s so pretty! I can’t believe Declan got it for you! He’s so sweet!”
“Yeah, he is.” I replied. But I wasn’t really paying attention to her. I was still trying to catch Sirius’ eye, but he was determinedly, and viciously stabbing at his eggs.
“Potter catches the release! Passes to Green, back to Potter, Crawford, GRYFFINDOR SCORES! Ten zilch to Gryffindor!”
Fast. I thought to myself. This game will be fast. Twenty seconds in and Gryffindor had already scored a goal.
The other team, a chaser by the name of Mallory Coy I think, took control of the ball before Shane hit a well aimed bludger at her. I grinned as the dark haired girl dropped the ball when she was hit in the shoulder. Probably dislocated. Ah well, silly Hufflepuff.
“And Green catches the drop! Off to Crawford, to Potter, and POTTER SCORES ANOTHER FOR GRYFFINDOR! Twenty nothing, Gryffindor!”
“This dude’s oddly enthusiastic for a Hufflepuff. You’d think he’d want his own team to win.” Shane said as he flew up next to me. I snorted, this announcer was a tad over the top.
“Well you know those damn Hufflepuffs, too kind for house pride.” I retorted. “Shouldn’t you be off beating things?” Shane grinned.
“Only in private Everard.” He winked and flew away. I laughed to myself. I did adore that boy. I was watching him fly off when I saw it. A flash of gold about ten yards past Shane’s right shoulder. Seriously? It’s been what? Three minutes? But what did it matter if we won with only two goals, we were head of the league by a long shot. Slytherin would have to beat Ravenclaw by 300 points to even come close to us.
So with that I shot after the snitch. It was in my hands before the Hufflepuff seeker even realized what was happening. I grinned as the whistle blew and everyone on the pitched looked confused. Fast. I thought again.
I touched ground at the same time as James who flung himself on me.
“Bloody brilliant Everard. We should have never let you quit!” I grinned at him and allowed his arm to be slung around me. People were coming onto the field to congratulate us now and I spotted Declan with Cole and Gabe through the crowd. I smiled and made my way over to them. I high-fived Cole and Gabe swept me into a hug. I turned to Declan who was beaming at me. I held up my wrist to show him the bracelet he had given me earlier.
“Good luck charm.” I confirmed and his smile grew wider. He leaned down and gave me a big hug. But as he was pulling away he stopped, looking into my eyes. And the next thing I know he was kissing me. Right there on the pitch. I’m not sure many people saw, all I know is I wasn’t protesting. Declan's lips were soft and gentile, and it was only a short kiss. Yet I felt a stirring in the pit of my stomach. He pulled away, smiling at me, and I was about to say something when Lily grabbed me from behind and pulled me away. I don’t think she even realized what she had interrupted.
The last thing I saw before being immersed in the crowd was Declan’s small smile and a wave before he disappeared.
An hour into the party and the room was filled with noise and people were dancing or standing in large groups. Lily had disappeared with James somewhere and Remus was no where in sight. To top it off James had insisted on a strictly Gryffindor party, so I was left stranded with no friends. All of a sudden there was someone standing next to me with a large bottle of fire whiskey in his hand.
“Thanks.” There was a long pause. See what I meant by tense? But he was drunk, and I didn’t feel like dealing with him when he was drunk. I hoped he would go away.
“So. You and Wood?”
“What about us?”
“Then what’s with the bracelet?”
“It was a gift.”
“It’s a nice gift.”
“Yup.” He frowned at me.
“That’s something a boyfriend would give you.”
“No, he’s just a really good friend. And for the last time, I don’t do boyfriends.”
“Right. You can’t.” Silence again.
“So, the other night.” Why did he insist on bringing this up? I chose not to respond. “Right. So we’re saying it didn’t happen?” I ignored him again. “Fine.” He muttered. We stood there side by side in silence for a while until I spotted Remus across the room. Without a word I left Sirius and went to go sit with my friend.
“Where the bloody hell have you been? I almost resorted to going to bed.” He laughed, taking a swig from his drink.
“You don’t pass up a party Bee.” I grinned at him and he sent me one of his endearing lopsided smiles that always melted my heart.
“Saw you and Sirius talking.” He commented. I shrugged it off and held out my wrist for him to see the bracelet.
“He was asking about Declan. Black saw him giving me this.” Remus took my hand in his and scrutinized the bracelet.
“I thought so.” I sat down next to Remus on the couch and swung my legs over him. “Merlin, I’m knackered.”
“Bee you played about four minutes of quidditch today.” He laughed.
“Yeah but your bloody best mate dragged me from sleep at around 6:30 this morning. The sun wasn’t even fully risen.”
“Hey, you signed up for it.”
“I guess I don’t have one.”
“That’s what I thought.” He smiled at me, but all of a sudden it faltered as he fixed on something behind me.
“What?” I asked, making to turn around.
“Wait! Bee, uhm. So hows James treating you?” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Terrible. But that’s to be expected.” I noticed his body release tension, like he actually thought he was distracting me. What the hell could be going on?
“Bummer, he tends to do that, all the guys on the team are always complaining about it. Speaking of, you alright on a team of all guys?”
“Uh, yeah. It’s fine.”
“Oh, wel-” I cut him off by spinning around in my seat to try and find what had him so worked up.
Didn’t take me long to find it. I mean, bloody hell, they were going at it in the middle of the common room. They may as well have just ripped their clothes off and shagged right there on the floor.
Black and some blonde bimbo who’s name I’d never cared enough to learn.
“Oh.” I said, turning back to Remus, trying to keep my face from showing any discomfort. “You didn’t have to try and hide that from me. I know Black’s a whore.” Remus didn’t look convinced. Personally, I thought I had played it off wonderfully, with the perfect blasé attitude. But he was still giving me that look. Damn, maybe it was a bad idea to be such good friends with him. He knew all my tells.
Truth was, a hard as I had been trying to fight it, Sirius was growing on me. Ever since that kiss in the kitchens, he’d been worming his way under my carefully constructed walls. He had been charming, and funny, and comforting, and understanding. Granted, he did shout at me every once in a while, but only when I deserved it.
Then with all those little confessions here and there? About how much I meant? What a load of rubbish. What a load of stinking rubbish. I glanced back at the pair, who were still going at it like there was no tomorrow. Fuck. I can’t watch this.
“Right, well, I need to go for a walk.” I said, raising from the couch.
“Need me to come with you?” Remus asked gently. I shrugged, trying not to explode here in the middle of the common room. I felt like screaming and crying and hitting something all at once.
“If you don’t mind me imploding, you’re more than welcome.” He nodded and stood up taking my hand and leading me out of the common room.
We were almost to the door. Almost.
“Moony! Where you two headed off to?” Black called from where his blonde was happily sucking away at his neck. Remus shot me an apologetic look and dropped my hand to walk over to Sirius so they could talk.
I didn’t know what they were talking about, nor did I much care. The only thing I wanted was out of this stuffy common room and some time to vent my feelings to Remus. My eyes scanned the room, anywhere but where Sirius and Remus stood. I could feel Black’s eyes on me, but I ignored them. Instead, my sights landed on a rather large bottle of tequila. I grabbed it. This bottle was going to spend the night with me.
Finally I looked up to the sound of Remus approaching. He laughed when he saw the large bottle cradled in my arm. He took my other hand in his and pulled me out the portrait hole. At the last moment, I chanced a glance back into the common room. I could still see Sirius through the crowd and he was staring after Remus and I with a scowl on his face. I just barely resisted flipping him off.
“Fuck. I need to stop moving around.” I muttered to Remus after about twenty minutes of sneaking around the castle.
“Room of Requirement?”
“Yes please. Only, I’ve lost track of where we are. So I dunno how to get there.” Remus smiled at me and rolled his eyes as he steered me along a secret passage. We took a few turns and went down a flight of stairs before we came to the end. Remus stuck his head out from behind the tapestry, checking to see if the coast was clear.
“Wait a moment.” He said, disappearing into the corridor. I dropped against the wall, clutching the now half empty bottle of booze in my hand. My head was spinning a bit, but not from the alcohol. However, before I really had time to get comfortable in my new position, Remus pushed back the tapestry and motioned for me to come out.
I grumbled, but complied. I stepped out into the dark corridor and noticed that across from me was a plain wooden door that didn’t belong. Ah, the we were here! Remus held the door open for me and I walked into a small, cozy room. There was a plush couch sitting in front of a large, roaring fire and the room only by a few candles.
I collapsed onto the couch and closed my eyes. I felt Remus’s weight next to me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and didn’t say anything for a moment. It was nice.
“So, care to talk?” I sighed. I knew he would make me do this. He always did.
“Uhm, no, I just needed a walk.”
“Just tell me what happened with Sirius. The two of you were quite close the other morning.”
“I woke up and so did he, we talked, then we fell asleep and somehow managed to get in that position.”
“What did you talk about?” I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Nothing really. He tried to kiss me. I almost let him. But, I couldn’t.”
“And why the hell not?” I glared at him.
“You know why not Remus.”
“Bee, you can’t let that dictate the rest of your life. You’ll never be happy if you do.”
“Momentary happiness isn’t worth getting hurt that badly.”
“Not everything is momentary Braxtany.” He said, staring straight into my eyes, trying to get his point across. I laughed bitterly.
“Mostly everything is. You know that.”
“I know you think that. But I also know it’s not true.”
“Whatever.” I took a long pull from the bottle.
“You need to learn to let your guard down.” I gave a short, humorless laugh.
“I let my guard down! And look where it got me. Drinking in the room of requirement. I warned myself against him too. No Bee, this is a bad idea. But everyone kept telling me he loved me! Including him! Then he’d yell at me and be cruel. And then he’d be in love with me again! But hey, the moment I don’t kiss him, he’s over it. Again. And he’s off with some girl. That isn’t love, and if it is, I want no part in it.” I took another swig from the bottle before handing it to Remus.
“Give him a break Bee, you’re a confusing girl. And he’s not the most emotionally stable or the smartest bloke around.”
“I’m not that confusing. I’m simpler than many actually. Including Lily! And what does Sirius Black have to be emotionally unstable about! And we all know he’s not smart. Besides, even if I was dumb enough to let someone break my heart, it would never be Black. Never!” I shoved my wrist in Remus’s face, my bracelet dangling in front of his nose.
“See this? This is the guy I would let my guard down for. Someone nice, and funny and drop dead gorgeous. Someone who wouldn’t lie to me and tell me I was special then go hook up with some blonde!” Silence for a moment.
“Bee, you’re a blonde.” Remus pointed out. I kicked him.
“Not the point!”
“Well then what is?”
“Just that Declan is the kind of bloke for me. He’s stable and trustworthy and kind. He’d never set out to hurt me, and if he ever did. he’d spend all the time he could trying to make up for it! Black? He’d hurt me for the sport of it. Just like all his other slags. Then he’d move on to his next vicim.”
“So you’re saying you’re done with Sirius then? No matter what? And you’re going to date Declan if he asks you out?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.” I paused. “Er, yes. I mean, no. Ugh! I have no idea Remus!”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to know right this moment.” I sighed and leaned back into his chest. We sat in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth until it was all gone.
“Should we head back?” Remus asked. I only mumbled in reply. I was already half asleep. I felt his chest rise in a laugh.
“I don’t think I’ll make it.”
“That’s fine Bee, we can just sleep here.” I stretched out and wrapped my arms tighter around him. Remus tightened his grip on me as well, and as the fire died out, I slipped out of consciousness and into a dream.
Everything is misty and white. I look around for a moment before I notice there’s a door in front of me. It’s dark blue, a stark contrast to the white mist. I push it open and am suddenly in the entryway to what looks like a small flat. I make my way towards what I assume to be the living room. The television is on and there’s a man with his back to me sitting on the couch.
“Dinner!” A female voice yells from another room. I watch as the man stands and turns off the television. But when he turns I’m shocked. Sirius! A momentary smile flits across my lips before I realize that he must be living with this woman. I follow him down a hallway and into a kitchen where a woman with blonde hair is placing a dish in the sink. Sirius walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her. The woman laughs as he kisses her neck.
“Sirius, stop it. I’m trying to wash this.”
“Save it for later.” The woman turns in his arms and smiles as he places a gentle kiss on her lips. But I finally saw her face. Is that who I think it is?
“Grab that and bring it to the table?”
“Of course, love.” He responds.”Oh, Bee, don’t forget the Champagne.” Me? I stand there watching myself reach into the refrigerator and pull out a bottle.
The two of them, or should I say the two of us, sit there laughing. I watch as Sirius gazes at the version of myself sitting across from him. I see that look I’ve seen a million times before in his eyes. Then I watch as Sirius stands up, only to reach into his pocket and pull out a small box. He then gets on his knee. And I know what is going to happen.
I want to walk in and intervene, but I can’t make my legs move. So I stand there and watch as Sirius waits for an answer. Nothing. I’m not answering!
“Say yes.” I whisper as Sirius starts to stand. “Say yes!” I yell again. But I can’t seem to get through and I watch as a distraught Sirius turns and walks out of the room. I then see myself turn and walk toward the kitchen and back to the sink. Tears are streaming down both of our eyes. I walk up to this strange version of myself and begin to feel angry for no real reason.
“What is wrong with you!” I yell at this dream Bee. “Why didn’t you say yes!” I think she heard me when she looks up, but I realize Sirius is walking back into the room.
“Sirius, please.” I hear dream me plead. But then all of a sudden everything is engulfed in a brilliant white light.
My eyes flickered open and a feeling of overwhelming sadness washed over me. I lifted my hands up to my face, only to find tears still rolling down my cheeks. I sat up and looked around. Where was I? Then I noticed the noise. I looked over to find Remus lying next to me, snoring loudly. After a brief moment of confusion, the night came back to me. Kind of. I did remember that we had fallen asleep in the room of requirement. I took a deep breath then looked over at a clock on the wall. Shit!
“Remus, wake up!” I said, shaking him awake. “We have to get back!” He began to stir and I remembered I had been crying so I quickly tried to wipe the tears from my face.
“Bee, what’s wrong?” Remus asked groggily.
“Nothing, just a bad dream. I’ll tell you about it later. Right now we have to get back to the common room.” He nodded and sat up, ruffling his hair. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so cute when he first woke up. He gave me his heart melting smile and the despair from my dream lifted as quickly as it had set in.
Remus slowly raised himself off the large couch and stretched. I rolled my eyes at him and threw him his shoes. He stuck out his tongue in reply, but put them on none the less. He then took me by the hand and lead me outside. No one was around, which was a relief. I mean, how bad would this look?
We managed to get all the way back to the common room without anyone seeing. As we made it to the portrait hole, Remus let out a yawn.
“Good lord Remus, you not only look like shit, but your breath smells like a dead animal.” I commented, wrinkling my nose. He just laughed as he pushed me though the opening.
“You’re one to talk you look like absolute rubbish and your hair looks as though there might be birds nesting in it!” He tried to mess my hair even more, but I slapped his hand away. Then he got this evil glint in his eye and attacked me, trying to destroy what good was left of my hair. I shrieked and laughed, swatting one hand away while still keeping his other clasped firmly in my hand. We pushed into the common room to find it empty.
Save for one person.
He looked as if he had been waiting there for someone, probably that blonde 6th year. But when he saw us, laughing and holding hands and looking as though we had been out all night (which we had) his face grew stoney.
“Hey there Padfoot.” Remus said awkwardly, dropping my hand. Sirius sat there a moment more before he stood up and stomped out angrily.
“Well what’s got his nickers in a twist? Not get laid last night?” I scoffed before I smiled weakly at Remus. “Right, well I’ll see you in class.” And with that I darted up the staircase and proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom for twenty minutes while I hyperventilated.
I saw sitting awkwardly in Transfiguration with Lily sitting next to me. I had been trying to ignore the daggers being sent my way from two tables behind me. Sirius Black’s table. I sighed and dropped my head to the table. Lily kicked me, so to mollify her I continued prodding at my light grey kitten with my wand.
“Change you stupid cat.” I muttered angrily. Lily had already transformed her kitten into a small black lab who was wagging his tail contentedly in a box at her feet.
“Damn it!” I almost yelled when it didn’t work again. “I hate this fucking cat.”
“Merlin, calm yourself Bee. It’s really not that hard.” She demonstrated the movement again. I just glared more at my kitten who took that moment to be cute and paw at my nose.
“I don’t think he wants to be a dog Lils.” I mumbled, picking him up in my arms.
“Perhaps not.” She sighed. She looked around quickly as if to make sure no one was paying us any mind. I was too busy playing with the adorable kitten as he grabbed at my hair.
“Maybe I’ll be a cat lady when I grow up.” I mused.
“Not based off what I overheard this morning.” Lily hissed at me. My eyes shot up to meet hers.
“I overheard Sirius telling James that you and Remus had skipped into the common room this morning in the same clothes as the night before. Holding hands. He said you two had walk-of-shamed it right into the middle of the common room.” My mouth dropped open.
“Well that is utter shit.” I said, composing myself.
“So then where were you last night?” I frowned.
“Well yeah, Remus and I left the party last night and we fell asleep talking! We woke up late and a bit disheveled, but I mean, nothing happened.”
“That’s not what is sounded like when Sirius told it.” Lily said, eyebrows raised.
“Since when do you listen to idiots like Sirius Black?” I asked, now officially grumpy. It was Lily’s turn to frown.
“Good question.” I was now in a foul mood. Honestly, how was it Black’s place to tell anyone what he had seen before he even knew himself! That stupid bastard. I’d have to holler at him for this. No question.
As I placed him back on the table, the cat scratched my hand, and not in an endearing way. I glowered and tried the spell again. And alas, a labrador sat in front of me. I grinned.
“I think I’m a dog person after all.” Lily just rolled her eyes.
Later that evening I was sitting in the common room, all alone reading by the fire when I heard the portrait door open. James and Sirius were entering, both muttering to each other under their breath. I briefly wondered where Remus was, but then I checked myself. I was here for one reason alone.
“Hey boys.” I said loudly, grabbing their attention.
“Hey there Bee.” James said nervously eyeing me. Sirius said nothing.
“May I please speak to you in the hallway Sirius?” I asked very sweetly, but in a way that he couldn’t refuse if he wanted to keep his genitalia. He just nodded and followed me back out the way he had come.
I kept walking until we reached an empty classroom. I opened the door and pointed him inside. His face was still unreadable and stoney. He broke the silence first.
“What’s up Bee?” He asked a little too innocently for my liking.
“Why are you such a prat?”
“Could you be more specific there, love? What am I being a prat about exactly?”
“Where the bloody hell do you get off telling people that Remus and I snuck off the other night!” He scoffed.
“Well one reason is because you did. And because when I was waiting for you the next day to apologize for being an ass, you two walked in looking like the definition of the walk of shame!”
“You stupid ass! We did nothing even close to what you’re conjuring up in your head! We were talking and we fell asleep! You daft bastard. How would you feel if I went around making assumptions like that about you!” He looked like he was about to retort but I raised my hand to silence him.
“And where the fuck does it say that even if we had you were allowed to give a shit?” He took a threatening step closer but I refused to back down.
“You and Remus both know how I feel about you Everard! It’s not fair for you to go around with my best mate and make me think the worst! It’s evil! You’re just playing on my emotions!” I snorted.
“Black, you can’t be serious. We didn’t even leave until after you had your blond slag hanging off your face. You can’t tell me you were upset, because obviously you weren’t too torn up about me. Your argument is invalid.” I crossed my arms over my chest as if that were that.
“Well I had a good reason!” He shouted.
“Oh and what was that!” I said stepping closer to him, I was trying to be intimidating, but my height made it impossible.
“To try and make you jealous!”
“Jealous? You wanted to make me jealous? Well congratulations! You made me jealous.” I stopped shouting then, realizing what I had just admitted to. Sirius just stood there for a moment. We both did. Neither of us could believe it. Then, moving quicker than my brain could register Sirius had moved closer to me and a moment later his lips were on mine.
And I let him, because it felt like heaven. We kissed like that for a while, but I got impatient and pulled him as close to me as I possibly could. He hoisted me onto the desk behind me and pulled off my shirt. I let him do this too. I pulled off his in response and before I knew it, he had moved me to the floor.
Then My jeans were gone, and so were his. I couldn’t think. Every breath was filled with his scent, it clogged my mind and clouded all though.
But I loved it.
At one point I remember him pulling out a condom.
“Is this what you were expecting?” I asked awestruck at his arrogance.
“Nah.” he said as he leaned down to kiss me again. “I always have one, just in case.” I probably should have been disgusted, but the heat of his lips and his body and his smell had me under some sort of spell. His skin against mine, the intoxicating feeling of everything that was Sirius had me deluded to the real world. I could barely breathe, let alone think.
So I let it happen.
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