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Typical Clueless Guy by PygmyPuffLover
Chapter 25 : Head Spinning
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 27

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disclaimer: i do not own anything you recognise.

enjoy - and please tell me your thoughts... especially on the end :D


“You think that Hugo only likes you because he’s single and wants someone to snog?” Lily repeated, looking aghast. Albus’ mouth fell open and James looked like someone had slapped him. Fred looked like he was trying not to laugh.

“Yeah. How else do you explain the fact we’re always snogging and yet he’s never asked me out?” I said, and Lily opened her mouth just to close it again.

“’s not like you mind all the snogging.” Lily said lamely, looking worried.

“Yeah, but I like snogging him because I’m in love with him, not because I can’t keep my hormones under control.” Lily raised her eyebrows. “Okay, I can’t keep my hormones under control either, but it’s mainly because I’m in love with him.”

“So, let me get this straight. You think that because you’re pretty much the only girl that he’s not related to that he spends a hell of a lot of time with, he snogs you.” James said.

“Yes.” I said.

“So your theory is that if you dressed up in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a jumper and wore no makeup he wouldn’t want to snog you, because you didn’t look hot anymore?” James finished, cocking an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“Yes.” I said. I said this all before, why are they repeating it like a load of drones?

“Well, would you care to test your theory?” James said, cocking an eyebrow at me, challenging me silently.

“What do you mean: test my theory?” I asked warily, as they all grinned at suddenly looked excited. When this family look excited you know nothing good can ever come of it.

“Well, I’ll lend you some of my clothes, sweat pants and a t-shirt and all that, really unflattering clothing and you can take all your makeup off and put your hair in a ponytail and all that crap that girls think make them look ugly, and then we’ll see whether Hugo still wants to snog you.” James said, waggling his eyebrows.

The rest of his family started to clap, looking incredibly impressed. You know, for this family, especially James, that is not a very threatening idea.

“Fine.” I said.

James stood up and grabbed my hand, pecked Jen on the lips and then on the slight bump on her stomach, and dragged me out of the room.

He dragged me into the room him and Jen were sharing, and straight over to the wardrobe in the corner. He pulled out a long pair of grey sweatpants that were probably going to need rolling up three times just so I could walk, and a blue t-shirt that looked too big for even James – and he is a muscular bloke.

“The pants are mine but the shirt is Teddy’s.” He explained.

I nodded and James left the room, closing the door behind him so I could get changed. I pulled on the clothes and stared at myself in the mirror. I already looked twelve times more hideous than usual. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and tied it with an elastic band from the floor.


I jogged to the bathroom down the hall and used a flannel to wipe to off the little amount of makeup I was wearing. I stared at myself in the mirror and shuddered. Completely hideous.

I strolled back downstairs and into the living room. They all looked up and rolled their eyes. The t-shirt was a short sleeved one that came down to way past my elbows, and the pants were covering my feet they were that long. My hair was scraped back in a bun and my face was scarily pale and undefined.

“So you think that he won’t want to snog you, because you look like that?” Lily confirmed. I nodded.

“Off you go then.” She smirked, waving her hand to the other sitting room, where Hugo was watching an old Quidditch match on the Wizard Television.

I took a deep breath and headed through the door. Hugo was sprawled on the couch, his head turned towards the TV and his arm lolling onto the floor. I grinned and shuffled over to him, sitting down in the chair next to the couch and pulling my knees up under my chin.

Hugo glanced up quickly and then back at the screen, and then realised it was me and looked back. He smiled warmly and shifted himself into a more comfortable position.

He patted the space he had just made on his knee and beckoned me over.

Alright, I did not expect that. I smiled anyway – my amazing skills at hiding shock seemed to come through here – and got up, sitting down on his knee like I had a pole shoved up my arse.

Hugo rolled his eyes and pulled me down so I was lying sideways on his chest, my head tucked into the dip in his neck. I looked up and saw the twats that had convinced me to take part in this experiment peering through the window.

Luckily, Hugo hadn’t noticed them.

I made a mental note to throw them all in the Black Lake when we got back to school.

“So how come you’re dressed like that?” He murmured into my hair. I shrugged and he chuckled gently, combing down my curls with his fingers.

You should have seen my face then. This experiment was not going my way at all. It seemed like he would snog me regardless of what I looked like, and I really didn’t want to have to face James when he’d been proved right.

That would just make the whole world go wonky.

“Hey, you know what I realised before?” He muttered, into my neck, kissing gently and tracing patterns with his tongue. This is when I seriously started to doubt my chances of winning this little bet.

“What?” I breathed, my voice choked from trying to control my breathing. Hugo Weasley does funky things to my brain, and I love him for it.

“You gave me my Christmas present, but I never gave you yours.” He whispered, his voice deep.

“Oh.” I said, in a slightly higher pitched voice than I was used to. James’ smirk was threatening to crack his face in half.

Hugo turned me over so I was lying on his chest, my face facing his and my eyes staring straight into his. I forgot how to breathe, how to swallow, how to think. I forgot about the bet and the experiment and the fact that Hugo did not love me, despite Lily insisting that he does.

I only knew that I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.

“Happy late Christmas present.” He murmured, and he pressed his lips to mine.

It was like someone lit a fire in my brain. There were fireworks and lightening and bright flashes of light, spinning colours and whirls that invaded my vision and made my head spin. All I could feel was a burning behind my lips, and a burning need.

I ran my hands over his arms and tangled my hands in his hair, slipping my tongue into his mouth and letting it explore, letting it taste his mouth. Hugo groaned against my lips and turned over so I was on the bottom of the sofa, his hands holding him up so he didn’t crush me to death.

His expression was burning with electricity and passion, and he slammed his lips to mine with a desperate need, the kind I felt for him.

I gripped his hair even tighter and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him onto me, not caring about the weight or whether or not it hurt, just wanting him to be as close to me as possible.

Hugo slid his hands up my t-shirt and used his fingers to trace patterns on my stomach, gently leaving a tingling trail behind with his fingertips.

His teeth were biting my bottom lip over and over again, occasionally stopping to run his tongue around the length of my mouth.

And then Hugo’s hands slipped further up the inside of my shirt, and yet I found myself not minding.

I was lost in the moment, the dizzying need, the desperation, the heat, and judging by his expression so was he. He pulled his mouth away for a moment and stared into my eyes, letting them burn away my words, my worries...

He pressed his lips lightly against mine once, twice, three times, and then pressed his lips against mine much harder, crushing them.

One of his hands was working its way up the inside of my shirt, the other my thigh.

“Vanessa-” He growled, his voice thick and cracked. I shut him up by slamming my mouth back to his, moving my hands out of his hair and running them up his chest, feeling the perfect muscles that lay beneath.

“You’re so beautiful.” He growled, his voice even more laboured before. He was panting, pressing his lips to mine as though he needed nothing else in the world.

Wait...what did he just say?

I wanted to pull my mouth away, to ask him why he thought I was beautiful when I looked like a complete cow, but the way his mouth moved against mine felt so perfect, so right, that I didn’t.

I didn’t want to stop this, I didn’t want to stop anything, I wanted to carry on, I wanted to stay here and never move.

Hugo pulled his mouth off mine and slid my top up to the bottom of my ribs, leaving my stomach bare. He leaned down and kissed it and I tightened my fists in his hair, just feeling as he started trailing kisses from my navel all the way up to my...

And then he was gone.

My eyes flew open and I shot up so I was sitting up straight, yanking my top down and beating hair off my face – my hair seemed to have fallen out of its ponytail at some point.

Hugo was standing next to a furious looking James and Albus, who were standing next to a smirking Fred, Lily and Louis. James was staring at me whilst Albus glared at Hugo.

“This room isn’t soundproof, you know.” Albus informed Hugo in a murderous voice. Hugo looked confused for a moment and then realisation dawned on his – perfect – face. His cheeks went pink and he looked down at the floor as though he wished it would just swallow him.

“I think you’ve had enough fun for today.” James said tightly, grabbing Hugo by the shoulder and sitting him back down on the couch. A second later he grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet.

He and Albus grabbed hold of one of my arms each and frogmarched me out of the room. I feel like I’m a bloody criminal and I’m being arrested. This is ridiculous.

Lysie, Roxanne, Molly, Lucy and Jen were waiting in the next room, where I was sat down in a chair by Albus.

Lily had her hands pressed up against her mouth to hide her snickers. James started to speak.

“Well, first off, you lost the bet. Hugo clearly loves you, he snogged you even when you had made yourself look a mess, so-” I cut him off.

“Look, just because he snogged me then does not prove anything. It was still snogging, wasn’t it?” I challenged, folding my arms.

“Regardless.” James waved it off. “I was still right.” I scowled and shot him the bird. He grinned.


I blinked at him for a moment. Huh?

“Huh?” Shut up, I can repeat my thoughts if I want to.

“You were only supposed to see if he acted like he normally does around you, you weren’t supposed to practically shag the guy on the couch!” Al cried, running his hands through his hair.

“We did not practically shag!” I protested loudly, folding my arms and crossing my legs.

He was snogging your stomach.” Al said stonily, glaring at the leg of my chair as though he wanted it to burst into flame. That boy really has to learn to control his temper, tut tut.

“What?” Roxanne shrieked, standing up. I rolled my eyes.

A brilliant idea suddenly struck me.

“Well, if he loves me so much, what was the problem with him doing that?” I asked, smirking and James and Albus as they opened and closed their mouths like goldfish, desperately searching for an answer.

“Because you’re like a little sister to me, and it was just plain disturbing and wrong.” Al said eventually, and James nodded his head. Little freaks.

“Well anyway.” I cut across. “The bet was completely pointless because it didn’t really tell us anything. So I have a better idea.”

They all suddenly looked very wary. Yeah, be afraid of me, bitches.

“I am going to dress like I normally do, do my hair and stuff like I normally do, and then for a whole day, the rest of today anyway, which is alright since it’s only the morning, I’m not going to snog him. If he keeps trying to snog me then we’ll know that that’s all it is. If he doesn’t keep trying to snog me then I’ll think about believing you.”

James and Al stared at me as though I was the most wonderful person on the planet. I am like, but you know...

“That is a fantastic idea. You’ll have to believe us.” Lily grinned. Yeah, sure.


“It was only a bludger, get up you bloody tosser! Oh fuck, just get up off the ground and look for the snitch, it’s right there! Merlin, you’re useless!” Hugo shouted at the screen in frustration as the Seeker in the Quidditch game rolled around in the mud, clutching a broken arm.

“You do know that they can’t hear you, don’t you?” I said, sounding amused.

Hugo whirled around, and upon seeing me flushed bright red and looked back at the screen. I sat down on the opposite end of the couch and swung my legs up to rest them on his knee.

He grinned at me and patted my feet, before turning his attention back to the game.

The next twenty minutes basically consisted of me wincing as Hugo shouted and waved his fists at the screen. I think he thinks they can hear him.

I think he’s a little touched in the head.

Eventually the team with the Seeker that didn’t have a broken arm caught the snitch – surprise, surprise. There was a tense moment when I thought Hugo was going to burst into tears, but his masculinity won and he calmed down.

“ alright?” Fantastic ice breaker Hugo, that was a bloody impressive conversation starter.

“Yeah.” Only to be beaten by my fascinating reply.

Hugo breathed out steadily through his nose. I think he can feel the tension in the room. Because I bloody well can.

“You got changed.” Hugo said, with the air of someone just looking for something to say. In fact, there was not an air of it, it is clearly written on his face. He looks as uncomfortable as hell, which is strange, because we are normally very comfortable with each other.

“Yeah, um, James wanted his clothes back, so...” I trailed off.

“Why were you wearing them in the first place?” He asked, twisting his head so he could look at my face.

Do not blush. Whatever you do, do not blush. DON’T YOU DARE CHEEKS, STAY PALE!

“I don’t know. I wanted to be comfortable, so I got dressed in some baggy clothes and stuff.” I said vaguely. “I don’t like looking like a mess, so I got changed.” I shrugged and glanced at the black screen of the Wizard Television, almost wishing it was switched on again.

“I didn’t think you looked a mess.” Hugo said quietly. “I thought you looked beautiful.” I blushed bright pink and looked down at my knees.

Maybe I didn’t think this plan through properly. I thought it was a brilliant idea that would determine whether or not Lily is a lying twat, because I thought it would be hard for him not to snog me, but I didn’t think about whether or not it would be hard for me not to snog him.

This tells me that I should never be allowed to think. Ever.

“Thank you.” I said quietly, smiling at him quickly and then looking back down at my knees. He reached across the couch and squeezed my hand.

“I always think you look beautiful.” He said in the same soft voice. I was so surprised I forgot to keep my eyes on my knees and glanced up at him in shock. He was staring tenderly at my face and his thumb was stroking the back of my hand.

I breathed out in a loud huff.

“Thank you.” I squeaked. I am so bloody pathetic. The bloke tells me I’m beautiful and all I can do is badly impersonate a mouse.

If those tossers are listening to this conversation with Extendable Ears then they are going to be rolling on the floor with laughter at my current extreme level of patheticness.

“Vanessa, are you okay? You just seem very nervous and edgy.” Hugo said, frowning at me as I stared at my knees as though my life depended on it.

“Yeah.” I said, coughing slightly as my tone came out higher than I wanted it to. “Yeah, I’m fine; I just don’t feel very well.” I took a moment to pride myself on my reasonably okay excuse. It shows how bad I am at cover stories when I think that that’s good.

Hugo looked worried for a moment and got up off the couch. He dropped to his knees next to where I was sitting and slowly laid his hand on my forehead. He waited for a moment and then slowly lifted his hands off my face again.

I breathed in and out as fast yet as quietly as I could to try and force the blush to stay in my neck and not flow up to my face. I think that would be a pretty obvious clue as to how much I love him.

“You don’t have a temperature.” He said, his breath fanning across my face. I breathed in, but felt like no oxygen had actually entered my brain.

Do you know the feeling I’m talking about?

“Maybe you should go and see my mum, so she can make sure you’re alright?” He said, his brow furrowed and his – adorable – face looking worried.

I smiled slightly at his cuteness and shook my head. I’m starting to rethink my whole ‘my excuse is brilliant’ extravaganza.

“Well, if you’re sure.” He said, still looking worried.

Is he the cutest thing in the world or what?

Hugo looked into my eyes and I stared back into his, trying to imagine that those flecks of green around the pupil were fishes in the middle of a bright blue ocean. His eyes were so beautiful it was not hard to imagine that they were the sea.

Before I knew what was happening Hugo had laid his hand on the back of my head and was slowly leaning towards my lips. I leaned towards him as well, and due to the dizziness that came from looking at Hugo’s face, all thoughts of my little plan to not snog him fell out of my brain.

I think I have a little trapdoor in there that opens at the very worst times.

I should really look into getting that duct taped shut.

Hugo was only a couple of inches away from my mouth when I finally remembered. I gulped and quickly ducked my head so my chin was tucked into my neck.

Hugo stiffened and then slowly got to his feet. He walked back to where he was sitting on the couch and sat down with an extremely hurt look on his face.

Oh God, I really did not think this plan through. What if he thinks I don’t like him because I don’t want to snog him? Maybe I should just quickly snog him so he knows that I’m still VERY attracted to him.

NO! You made a plan Vanessa; you have to stick to it.

And yes, I am giving myself an internal pep talk, and no, that does not mean that I am crazy.

“Hugo,” I began tentatively. He looked up at me, his eyes still a little confused and hurt. I suppressed the urge to wince. “Why do we snog all the time?”

Hugo looked like a goldfish for a moment, opening and closing his mouth, and then he swallowed and looked at me.

“Because, um, well,” He stuttered, looking extremely nervous. “Because we like snogging each other.”

“Fine, let me rephrase.” I said impatiently. “Why do you like snogging me so much?” Hugo looked even more uncomfortable than before.

“Because...” Hugo suddenly turned to look at me and grabbed each of my hands in each of his. He took a deep breath and began to speak very slowly, considering each word before he said it. “Vanessa, there is something I need to tell you. The reason I like snogging you so much isn’t just because you are extremely hot and a bloody good snog – which you are, don’t get me wrong – but, well, because-”

Hugo was interrupted from whatever he was saying by his mother storming into the room and standing in front of the sofa with her arms folded. Hugo tore his hands out of mine and I flung my legs off his knee and slammed them onto the floor.

“Your father is such an idiot!” She told Hugo furiously, seemingly oblivious to the scene she had just interrupted, which I am rather annoyed about because it seemed like he was going to say something serious.

“Oh.” Hugo said, looking confused and just a little bit uncomfortable. “What’s he done now?”

“I told him yesterday that he had to go out and by a turkey for your Nana to cook for dinner, and he forgot to do it! How do you just forget to do that?” Seriously. That’s all?

“Just order a pizza Mum, none of us are bothered.” Hugo rolled his eyes and Aunt Hermione’s scowl deepened.

“Well, we’re going to have to now, thanks to your father!” She spat, folding her arms so tightly I thought I could hear a bone crack.

Someone’s a little bit melodramatic. It’s only a bloody turkey.

“O-kay?” Hugo said unsurely, staring at his mother as though he thought she was insane. Though, come to think on it, she probably is.

“Well, anyway, you two can just get on with whatever you were doing. But if you need help doing whatever it is, don’t bother going to your father, because he’ll forget to do it!” With one final huff, she stalked out of the room, her heels clicking loudly on the floors as she went.

Hugo turned to look at me and we both started laughing at the same time. SEE, this is why we are perfect for each other. We both laugh at stupid things.

“What were you going to say before?” I asked softly, taking his hands in mine again. Hugo suddenly looked a lot more awkward, and I noticed that he looked more worried than anything else. He opened his mouth and then closed it again.

“I was just going to tell you that you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.” He said softly, leaning forwards to kiss me on the forehead.

I smiled and pecked him on the cheek, before standing up.

“I have to go and see Lily. I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” I said, giving his hand a small squeeze.

Hugo nodded. “I’ll save you the seat next to me.” He smiled.

I ignored the fluttering in my stomach and the little voice in my head that was screaming at me to ‘CRAWL INTO THOSE ARMS AND SNOG HIS BLOODY FACE OFF, WOMAN!’, and walked out of the room.

Where I promptly crashed into James, Lily and Albus.

The three of them were bent double behind the door, about the same level as the keyhole. Tut tut, I’m especially ashamed of you James; you’re supposed to be more mature than those two buggers, married and about to be a dad and all that claptrap.

Listening to your younger cousin talk to your sister’s best friend just to see how some half bet is going does not qualify as the epitome of mature behaviour; I do regret to inform you. Still, I’m sure you’ll survive the shock.

I glared at the three of them for a moment and then flounced past, making careful effort to flick my hair in Al’s face as I went.

Yeah, I am just as mature as old Jamie.

Teach them to listen at the doorway to my conversation.

“Oh, and Vanessa.” Lily called after me. I stopped to listen. “We’re winning.”

With a scowl I continued up the corridor. Could Lily possibly be telling the truth?



“Stop shaking, you twat.” Lily said, oh so affectionately. The level of friendship we share is one that cannot be compared to other friendships.

“I’m not shaking.” I lied. Lily cocked an eyebrow at me and Lysie leaned around her head to snort at me. Charming.

“Okay, so I’m a little nervous about lunch. Hugo said he was going to save me a seat, and I rejected him this morning when he tried to snog me, and now I’m worried he’s going to be all offended and not want to talk to me, and that does not float my boat because I have to talk to him or I will just die, and now he’s going to be expecting something to be wrong with me and I don’t know what to do and I can’t breathe properly and-”

I cut off when Lily put one of her hands on each of my shoulders and stared at me with an alarmed expression on her face.

Hey, I’m allowed to freak out if I want to.

“Vanessa, he’s not going to be angry that you wouldn’t snog him once.” She rolled her eyes, but I could see a slight hint of worry in them.

I gulped, feeling like there was something rather large obstructing my throat. Lily smiled, in what I’m sure she thought was a reassuring way, and took my hand, pulling me towards the lunch table with a horribly forced expression on her face.

Kill me now.

What if Hugo thinks I don’t like him, because I won’t snog him? Would he be angry, and if (IF) he did like me, then would he stop liking me because he thinks that I don’t like him?

I’m confused just trying to think about it.

I slammed my head against my palm and glanced around the table. Hugo was sitting next to an empty seat, and grinned at me.

I grinned back and headed over to him.

“Hello sweetheart.” He said pleasantly, pushing my chair in when I had sat down.

“Hey honey.” I smiled back. We seem to have adopted some sort of hobby of calling each other nauseating nicknames, which would definitely cause me to kill Lily if she and Lysie started it as their new hobby.

I suppose you could call me a hypocrite.

“So what happened this morning?” He asked, looking at the side of my face rather intensely.

Bloody Nora, he didn’t waste any time asking, did he? I’ve only just parked my arse on the chair and he’s already asked me what’s going on. Would he be as quick into my grave?

“I dunno.” I said slowly, thinking of my answer as I said it. I really should have prepared something beforehand. “We just snog all the time, and I thought that it would be nice to spend some time together without snogging.”

Yep, that seems like a good enough excuse. Nice one Vanessa! Yes, I did just praise myself. Deal with it.

“Oh.” Said Hugo, looking incredibly relieved. Relieved? “Well then, maybe we should spend some time together without snogging.”

Please tell me he did not just say that. Because if Lily is proven right then I am just going to have to throw myself off a cliff with the embarrassment of it all.

Lily being right would be even worse than James being right! Because James would brag for a day and then get over it, but Lily would NEVER LET IT GO. She would probably weave it into the eulogy at my funeral as a final brag.

Evil monkey.

“Yeah, we should.” I said, tipping my head back to smile at him.

“But you know what definitely does not count as snogging?” He said, and I shook my head. He grinned and leaned down, pressed his lips against mine for less than a second then pulled his head up again. “That.”

I giggled and rolled my eyes.

Why do I giggle so much all of a sudden? I never used to giggle, not at all, and now all of a sudden I seem to do it all the time. Falling in love has seriously whacked up my brain.

Ah well.

“Well, since that technically isn’t snogging then I suppose there is no reason that we shouldn’t do it.” I grinned and Hugo tipped his head back to laugh.

“Right, well, never waste an opportunity is my motto, so...” He leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to mine six times and then the tip of my nose, and then each cheek. I felt the insides of my legs melt down to a puddle of teenage goo.

Which I’m sure is an incredibly sexy mental image.

“I thought your motto was ‘shag, snog and eat as much as possible.’” I said, and Hugo suddenly became very interested in some bread in front of his plate.

Thought so.

“So what do you want to do today, that doesn’t involve us snogging?” Hugo asked, looking up from his dinner and staring at me.

Oh fucking hell, I guess that’s another thing that I should have figured out before I suggested it. I really need to start thinking things through more.

“Well, we could go for a walk, or a picnic.” I said, and then I internally groaned. Did I honestly just suggest to Hugo Weasley that we go on a bleeding picnic? Of course he’s not going to want to spend his afternoon doing that.

“Sure, sounds great.” He smiled, and my mouth fell open. Am I going to be right at all this week? Honestly, I don’t even get my mental guesses right.

“Okay, we can leave after lunch. I’ll get Nana Weasley to put some food in a bag for us.”

“A bag? Aren’t you going to go all 1940 and say that we’re going to have it out of a straw basket, and sit on a red and white checked picnic blanket?” Hugo smirked, and I scowled at him.

I thought hard for a nice witty comeback, but my brain failed me and the best I could come up with was –


Wow. I told him for sure. I bet he’s going to go and cry in a corner now.

“You’re completely insane.” He grinned, and leant down to peck me on the lips again. Any more of this and I swear I’m going have a heart attack.

But a Hugo Weasley induced heart attack is the best type of heart attack, so I’ll be alright. I hope.


Do you want to know why I am a complete and utter tosspot of the first water and beyond? Well, I will tell you.

You know AGES AND AGES AND AGES ago I told you that I really needed to work on my fitness? Well, I decided that I was going to embody the tradition of being a ‘lazy-ass teenager’ and not bother. Well, I am not bright red in the face, panting like I’ve run a bloody marathon because Hugo took me up a hill on our walk.

Tomatoes do not have any sex appeal. And that is what I most resemble right now. Fabulous.

When we finally reached the top of the bloody hill, Hugo was pissing himself over how unfit I am and I was lying on the ground, trying to get my breath back. I’m sure I look so sexy.

He smirked at me and then laid the blanket on the floor, lifted me up, put me down on it and started to unpack the lunch. I choked, trying to talk, and then decided against it. Best to save my little energy for lifting the food to my mouth.

“Bloody hell, you’re unfit.” He commented, and I blushed slightly. Hugo looked at me for a moment and then crawled over to me, leaning down so he was hovering above me, his arms of either side of my head.

“I know a form of exercise that will get you a lot fitter.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine again.

Does he mean jogging?

“Look, I know you’re good at jogging because you’re on the Quidditch Team, but all that exercise would probably kill me. Sorry, honey.” I smiled and kissed him quickly.

Hugo rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Of course you wouldn’t get it.” He leaned his face close to my ear and whispered, his voice low and his breath warm on my skin, “But you’ll realise what I meant soon enough.” He kissed my cheek gently and then leant back, his eyes smouldering.

Maybe he meant yoga. I can just imagine Hugo in form fitting Lycra, pulling poses that look more like punishments on a little mat.

That’s actually a hilarious mental picture. I’ll think about that whenever I need cheering up.

“Hmm...right.” I agreed vaguely.

Hugo rolled his eyes and kissed me once more.

“Now, time for the food. The reason I actually hiked all the way up the Hill of Death.” I grinned, and Hugo chuckled, grabbing one of the sandwiches from the top of a stack and holding it out to me. I took a bite – which demolished about half of the sandwich – and swallowed it almost immediately.

“Please, is that the best you can do?” Hugo snorted, and without any warning he grabbed a sandwich and stuffed the whole thing into his mouth.

I cocked an eyebrow and reached around him, grabbing another two sandwiches and cramming them into my mouth at the same time, rendering myself unable to speak or breathe.

Which was, obviously, very smart.

After a minute or so of painful chewing and laboured breathing through my nose, I managed to swallow the starchy mess and free up my airways. I grinned triumphantly and Hugo’s eyes narrowed into jokingly challenged slits.

He picked up three sandwiches and stared at them for a moment, then crammed them into his mouth and started to chew. My mouth fell open. He chewed almost casually, and then swallowed as though it was as normal as taking a bite.

“Holy shit, how big is your mouth?” I asked, and Hugo looked up, grinning.

“Thinking about my mouth, were we?” He said, leaning forwards until his forehead was pressed against mine, his hands on the grass next to my hips. His eyes were boring into mine, their piercing blue shining into mine, his breath hot on my lips, fanning across my face. I struggled to breathe.

“Well, yeah, you were eating...” I muttered, but I was a little more preoccupied with the way Hugo was leaning backwards, laying me flat on the grass with my hands pressed against the ground uselessly, his hands on either side of my face, his eyes never leaving mine.

One of his hands moved from the ground to my thigh, and he ran his fingers gently up my leg.

“Goosebumps.” He whispered, breathing his special Hugo scent onto my face, blowing my hair out of my eyes and making the skin on the back of my neck feel all tingly and weird. His mouth was inches away from my own when I realised what was going on.

My hands flew from the ground and I pressed them against his chest, stopping his mouth from closing the inch wide gap between us. His eyes were glimmering with something hungry, something I have never seen before, something that made Hugo more fucking sexy than I had ever seen him look before.

“No snogging, remember.” Hugo groaned slightly and didn’t move, and from his expression I could tell that he had noticed the reluctance, the breathlessness in my voice.

“Please.” He moaned.

I swallowed and shook my head, pressed my lips against his quickly and then grabbed another sandwich. I crammed into my mouth before he could even blink and then grinned at his startled expression.

“Very manly.” I smirked, and he scowled. He seems to have switched his much loved pout for the much manlier scowl over the past couple of weeks.

It’s bleeding hot, I’ll tell you that now.

“I’m very manly, I’ll have you know.” Hugo said, cocking his eyebrow as soon as he had finished the sandwich that I had unceremoniously crammed into his mouth whole. I smirked a little wider and nodded, patting him affably on the shoulder.

The scowl deepened.

“I’m the manliest person on the entire planet!” He said, and his sheer annoyance and slight desperation only made me laugh harder. I pressed my hands against my mouth and his mouth fell into a flat white line.

“I am manly!” He all but yelled. I pressed my face into the grass and physically shook with laughter.

“I never said you weren’t manly. In fact, I do believe my words were ‘very manly’” I eventually managed to splutter out, and Hugo shot me a look that quite clearly told me that he wasn’t very impressed.

“I’m sorry.” I tried again, and I rolled over to I was lying on my stomach, my face staring up into his. I widened by eyes to proportions that could melt McGonagall and batted my eyelashes a couple of times. “I’m really, really sorry.” I pouted a little bit, and a grin slipped onto his face.

He leaned down and kissed me gently, then flipped me back onto my back as though I weighed no more than a bleeding bag of sugar – which incidentally, do seem quite heavy when you are trying to cart them round the supermarket.

“Now, I do believe it is time for us to eat the rest of our lunch. You’ll probably pass out on the walk down otherwise.” It was my turn to scowl.

“Now open up.” He whispered, and he lowered a strawberry into my mouth, keeping hold of the core and letting me bite into the little red fruit. I bit the end of and chewed, never taking my eyes off him.

His leaned down and gently pressed his lips against mine, gently running his tongue along my lips and then pulling his head away.

“That doesn’t count as snogging, does it?” He confirmed quietly, and I managed to force myself to shake my head.

“No.” I murmured breathlessly. And so we carried on.


We were back by four in the afternoon, and after spending a little more time with the family, dinner was served. Hugo was sitting opposite me, cramming chicken into his gob like there was no tomorrow. Maybe there is a national chicken shortage. Oh shit, do you think there is? Bugger, I’ll have to eat some more of it. I crammed a little more chicken into my mouth and then looked up.

I grinned at Hugo and he grinned at me, winking. I snorted into my dinner and Lily stared at me for a moment.

Tell him!’ She mouthed, and I shook my head at her, glaring.

“So, Van, I was thinking of going into town tomorrow, as a last day before we go back to school thing, do you want to come with me?” The whole table turned to look at me.

Could this family get any nosier, honestly?

“Sure.” I said brightly. It will practically be like a date. “Who else is going?”

Hugo looked a little worried for a moment, and then he looked up and smiled at me.

“Well, I was thinking, it could be and you. Like sort of, a date.” Hugo looked down at the table and his cheeks flushed slightly pink.

Hang on...did Hugo just ask me out on a date?

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open, which looked incredibly attractive and mature I’m sure.

“What?” I eventually squeaked. HUGO – FUCKING – WEASLEY just asked me out on a date. Me, Vanessa McIver. On a date. A D-A-T-E.

I think I need to lie down.

Hugo shot a quick glare at Lily and then turned his highly embarrassed expression onto me.

“I understand if you don’t want to, really, I do, I mean it was just a stupid idea of mine,”

“No, no, of course I want to, I mean, sure,”

“I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to,”

“No really, I want to,”

This pathetic talking over one another carried on for another good minute before Lily lost her temper and slammed her hands down on the table, standing up.

“You guys are so fucking annoying. Honestly, it’s taken three bloody months just for you to plan to go on a date together, and now you’re being all stupid and thinking the other one doesn’t want to go! When will you both just get a clue?” She screamed.

Woah. Her time of the month?

“Huh?” Hugo summed up my thoughts perfectly.

“Look, I promised both of you I wouldn’t get involved, but I really think we’ll all go insane if we have to watch you two being stupid for one more day. So I’m just going to say it like it is.” Lily shrugged.

“Lily...” Hugo and I said warningly at the same time. We glanced at one another and then back at Lily.

“No, really, Hugo I’d love to go on a date with you, so you don’t need to listen to anything Lily says...”

“Are you sure, because I don’t want you to feel like you have to,”

Our conversation was interrupted by Lily tipping her head back and screaming at the sky.

...definatley her time of the month.

“Vanessa wants to go Hugo; she’s been waiting for you to ask her out for the past three months!” Lily screamed, frustrated.

“Lily!” I shouted.

“What?” Hugo asked, looking at Lily like she was an alien with three heads.

“Lily, shut up.” Albus warned.

“She’s been waiting for you to ask her out, because she’s in love with you, and she thinks that you only like her to snog.” Lily continued, ignoring me and looking straight at Hugo.

“What?” Hugo choked out. I blushed bright red.

“Lily.” I croaked desperately.


She’s charming, isn’t she? Ignoring my poor choking voice.

“You love me?” Hugo asked me, and I blushed bright red.

“Oh Merlin.” I muttered, glaring at Lily with as much strength as I could muster.

“You don’t need to worry Vanessa, because Hugo is in love with you. I’ve been telling you the truth for a long time now.” Lily said, shrugging as though it was no big deal.

“What?” I said, much like Hugo had a moment ago.


“You love me?” I asked Hugo.

Hugo stared at me for a moment and then swallowed, looking like this action alone cost him one hell of a lot of effort.



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