Chapter 4 : I Stand By What I Said
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“Since when do you have permission to call me Rosie?” I asked, not looking up at him.
“Al does it all the time!” He leaned against the door of the compartment and I could see him pull a cheeky grin from the corner of my eye. “I believe that being best friend of your favourite cousin gives me special privileges.”
I snorted and looked up at him, still chuckling. “Special privileges? Are you kidding me? Al calls me Rosie because he has my permission to do so.”
“And may I have permission to call you Rosie?” Scorpius looked at me, and somehow it seemed like he wasn’t joking. I scowled.
“No, you don’t.” I walked towards the door as he closed it and stood in front of it.”What are you doing?” I asked. I didn’t trust him.
“Where were you going? You didn’t have any intention of leaving before I came. I...” he stuttered and looked down at his feet. “I just wanted to keep you company. You looked lonely.” He looked up into my eyes. His icy, silver eyes sparkled as they bore into mine.
It felt weird to be in the same room as my nemesis and not be punching every inch of him that I can reach for him being a jerk. Instead, I’m finding myself move closer to him slowly to catch a whiff of his deliciousness..
HOLD ON. ROSE GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! THIS IS SCORPIUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WOMAN??? BACK AWAY! STAY FAR AWAY!
“Rose,” Scorpius said softly, “I’m sorry for everything I ever did to you or said to you to make you feel bad about yourself or to get you in trouble. I’m sorry for calling you Braceface and Pizzaface and Furball and for shooting spit balls at you and for pulling on your hair and calling you ugly and throwing water balloons at you and for pushing you in the Black Lake and for calling you a ruler and for...” I put my finger to his lips and he stopped speaking instantly.
He looked like he thought I was going to kiss him.
DREAM ON BOY!
“Why are you doing this?” I asked angrily. I really did feel angry though. How could he put me through six years of torture and assume that when I finally became kind of pretty that he was going to apologize.
“I...” Scorpius looked confused.
“What do you think this is? This isn’t a dream world, Scorpius. This is the real world. People are cruel and don’t forgive easily. People are selfish and greedy and only want what’s best for themselves. You have put me through so much pain these past six years and somehow you think that an adorable apology is going to make everything right.”
He blushed and mumbled something inaudible. I chose to ignore it.
“I can’t forgive you for what you’ve done because it has hurt me too much. You know that in my entire career at Hogwarts I have had one friend who I wasn’t related to? My cousins are stuck with me regardless, but Willow is the only person who will talk to me at all because you have taken the liberty of ensuring that the entire school population hates me. They all think that I’m a stuck-up, preppy snob and that’s not at all who I am.” I felt hot tears prick at my eyes.
“You on the other hand are legitimately a stuck-up, arrogant, selfish, greedy, conceited jerk and you have no problem with letting people know that and still they somehow flock to your side because you are Scorpius Malfoy and you are popular and smart and hot and everyone loves you.” I took a deep breath and felt a tear roll down my cheek.
Scorpius also took a breath and his cheeks turned slightly rosy.
“I understand that one apology cannot make up for years of torture but it’s a start. I just want to try to make this work...”
“Make what work? What is there to try to make work?” I interrupted him.
He silenced me with his hand.
“Can I just finish?” He almost shouted. He looked annoyed and for a moment and then his look softened.
“For starters, people don’t hate you. That’s mostly just the Slytherins but they hate your whole family so it’s to be expected. You are kind and smart and beautiful and people do notice you. Mind you, you do tend to push people away so that could be the reason behind your friendlessness...” He seemed to ponder that for a moment and I tried to defend myself, but his hand was still plastered to my mouth and he was a lot stronger than I was.
“And most of the Gryffindors are,” he used a few colourful words to describe them, “so you shouldn’t feel bad about not making friends with them. I’m trying to be different. I’ve grown up over the summer and I understand that it’s not going to be easy to reconcile but I think that if we tried we could be friends.” He released his grip on my mouth and I was quick to retaliate.
“Now, hang on one second here, mister.” I was livid. “You were sure quick to point out all of my flaws...”
“What flaws did I point out exactly? I believe it was you who did the pointing out of flaws! The words selfish, greedy and arrogant ring a bell!” Scorpius had raised his voice.
“What am I supposed to do? Shower you with compliments?” I glared at him.
“Well,” Scorpius scratched the back of his head and looked down. His cheeks flushed slightly pink. “You did call me Scorpius, not Malfoy, and you said my apology was adorable, and you called me hot...”
“Excuse me? I did no such thing!” I was so angry with this boy right now...if looks could kill...
“Actually you kind of did. And it was kind of adorable.” Oh my gosh, HE was adorable right now: blushing at me, unable to meet my eyes and talking so sweetly. I could even see the tips of his ears turning slightly pink.
HOLD ON! ROSE, YOU ARE FURIOUS RIGHT NOW! THIS IS NO TIME TO START ACTING BOY-CRAZY!!!
I got my head back on after what he said. (He called me adorable! How cute is that?) I painted on my look of anger (more like embellished; it was still there but diluted by all the sweetness).
“Look, I stand by what I said: People are selfish and greedy and only want what’s best for themselves.” I said firmly.
“Really, Rose? Is that people or is that just you?” Scorpius looked angrier than I’d ever seen anyone and I did start to get worried that he was going to hit me. “I’ve tried everything to be friends since we have to work together and everything this year but you just can’t let go of the past.” He opened the door angrily.
“Get out.” You could hear the fury in his voice.
“Excuse me? I do believe that this was MY compartment...”
“Rose, just leave!” He shouted at me and everything went silent. I was sure that everyone in compartments around us had heard at least that.
“You better be at the prefects meeting in half an hour,” I walked past him, knocking into his shoulder as I did.
I walked straight for the prefects compartment and no one was there yet. I collapsed onto the ground and let out all the tears I didn’t know I had been holding in. I had definitely screwed things up for good this time.
I rocked back and forth in a ball on the ground, sobbing. My tears were everything. I was letting go of any notion of anything I felt for Scorpius. I was letting go of him. Not like I had him to begin with but my life was so messed up right now, it had almost felt for maybe half a second that he could be mine and I could be his.
Stupid girl. He hates you. You hate him.
I started whispering to myself, trying to get my brain to understand what my heart was so reluctant to admit.
“You don’t love him. You don’t love him. You’ve never loved him. You’ll never love him. You don’t love him.”
Yep. World: 1 Rose Weasley: 0
TONS of Rose/Scorpius interaction in this chapter! It was actually really fun to write. Rose is in a weird place right now so hopefully she starts to figure things out and pull herself together a bit!
REVIEW! I cannot stress that enough! It is my favourite thing in life! Predictions? Suggestions? Questions?
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Goodbye lovely readers!
Edit: 06/27/2012 - Spacing
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