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Chapter 2 : Dealing with Regret
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“IZZY!? It’s Seamus, let me in! It’s bloody 11am I know you’re awake!” I hear through the heavy door and smile as I go to open the door to reveal my oldest friend. He gives me a look of sympathy at my disheveled appearance. “Rough night Iz?” He laughs as he walks passed me and into my living room.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see you, honestly I had the night from Hell.” I say following Seamus into the living room where I find Mystique sitting patiently in his lap enjoying the attention. And sit down into my favorite chair,“Also, that feline has it out for me I swear.” I glare at the cat who seems to glare right back at me.
“I doubt your cat is out to get you. But I’d love to hear how your night was Hell. I thought you had work and were gonna spend the night with Nott?” Seamus says placing Mystique on the floor and quirking an eyebrow up at me.
Before responding I couldn’t help but notice the look of mischief on Seamus’ face. “What do you know that you’re not telling me?” I scold glaring at the Gryffindor across from me and crossing my arms across my chest.
“Sometimes I wonder why you weren’t in Ravenclaw, you don’t miss anything.” He says smiling before continuing, “I know Malfoy must’ve come to speak with you last night.” He’s grinning wildly seemingly pleased with himself.
“UGH, that bloody git, he can’t keep anything to himself can he!?” I groan getting up from the chair, grabbing my wand from off the table and shooting a hex at Mystique who hisses and runs into the bedroom. “It was horrible Seamus.” I slump back down into my chair defeated and twirling my wand absentmindly in my hand.
Seamus merely smiles broader, “I can imagine, he sat in his office and was throwing darts at a picture of you all day. He came in today in a worse mood than I’ve ever seen him behave. If he wasn’t Minister he probably would’ve done something drastic.”
My blood freezes, “The what?!” I gasp out, “The MINISTER?! DRACO SODDING MALFOY IS THE MINISTER OF MAGIC?!” I screech out my voice cracking at the end.
“Bloody hell Iz, if you didn’t seclude yourself so much from the Wizarding World you would know these things. He’s been the Minister for like 2 years, got promoted on Potter’s recommendation.” Seamus says shaking his head at me and going to the kitchen, “Do you have any tea?” I hear him yell from the kitchen, my head still spinning.
I hear Seamus rummaging through my cupboards and don’t get up to help him look. I hear him come back in the living room shortly after and see him sit down across from me a look of confusion on his face.
“Isabella? I’m going to ask you something and you have to promise to answer honestly.” My best friend asks taking my cold, clammy hands in his own. I nod acknowledgement numbly. “Why did you walk away from Hogwart’s that day?”
I hadn’t been expecting Seamus of all people to ask me. Everyone else had but not my best friend, he’d promised to not pry into my reasons. Angry I take my hands roughly from his own and storm into the kitchen throwing the kettle at the kitchen door as I hear it shut, or at least I thought it was shut, I actually nearly hit Seamus in the head with it.
“MERLIN IZZY!” I hear and spin around to glare dangerously at Seamus Finnegan, twirling my wand in my hand trying to think of a good hex for him. “I’m only asking because I want to understand why you leave someone you obviously still care about and who obviously still cares about you. I’m not trying to judge you or anything Iz, I’d never judge you for it.” At his words I calm slightly and put my wand on the counter staring at it before speaking.
“I was afraid of what would happen. To me. To him. To the world I had constructed around myself. My name was even more tarnished and his name couldn’t get any worse. I would’ve been the enemy by association and he…well…he WAS the bloody enemy!” I say frantically pacing the room, some words surely melding together as I was speaking rapidly so as I couldn’t change my mind, I had never spoken to anyone about this. “Seamus, I was terrified. Terrified of never rising above the muck I was in, terrified of being hurt, terrified that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I did him. And THEN when I went to find him I saw him in that slut Astoria’s arms…SHE WAS BLOODY CODDLING HIM!” Angry I throw a coffee mug from my strainer at the wall behind Seamus. “He didn’t mean it, so I left, I had no reason to stay.” Breathing heavily, seething from the memory, I start to leave the kitchen. Before exiting I turn to Seamus, “If you tell anyone that I will Avada Kedavra you and I won’t even feel bad about it, do you understand!? So if Malfoy sent you here to talk to me, you won’t be reporting that bit, got it?” Seamus nods in agreement and I go to my bedroom to shower and get dressed.
I spent the next 30 minutes sobbing in the shower at an old wound being opened back up again. I didn’t want to care about him, I really didn’t, I’d tried to replace him, I’d tried to get over him, no other guys seemed to work. Staring down at my hand I notice something I’d chosen to ignore for 6 years, a sliver snake ring still firmly attached to my finger and slithering up my finger. How I had not noticed this all this time was beyond me, I get out of the shower sick of feeling sorry for myself and get dressed. I didn’t know where I wanted to go but I knew I couldn’t stay here.
When I got back out to my living room Seamus is sitting there waiting for me, reading the Daily Prophet. “Come on, I could use a drink and I’m out of real booze, let’s go to Diagon Alley.” I say putting my coat on and motioning for Seamus to get up and come with me.
“Isabella Carrow wants to go to Diagon Alley? Surely this IS the apocalypse.” He says grinning at me, “But first, I need to stop at the Ministry I just realized I’ve left some work on my desk that I was supposed to have done today.”
Unconvinced I raise an eyebrow at him, “If this is some ploy to force me to talk to Malfoy you have another thing coming Finnegan.” I remark grabbing my keys and leaving the house with Finnegan close at my heels.
“Let’s apparate, it’s much faster and we do have to go all the way to London.” Seamus grins over at me and offers his arm for me to take.
Soon after taking his arm I feel the familiar tugging feeling on my belly button, next thing I know we’ve landed in some dank alley most likely near the ministry. After taking me down two more alleys we’ve apparently come to some secret door disguised as a trash can. Looking around for muggles Seamus punches in some code with his wand and a door magically appears and we enter. The marble floors causing my boots to make a ‘clack clack’ as we walked to Seamus’s office. Upon reaching the door I notice we’re at the Minister’s office. Panicked I cling onto Seamus’s arm.
“You work in THIS office?!?” I whisper panic clear in my voice.
“Do you ever listen to me?” is the reply I get as he pushes open the door shrugging me off his arm and leaving me to fend for myself.
“FINNEGAN!” I hear a familiar voice bellow from a half open door directly in front of me. I hear a desk drawer slam and someone stomping angrily towards the door. Swinging the door full open I’m greeted by a very angry looking Draco Malfoy. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” His eyes land on me, obviously I was unwelcome.
Seamus apparently deciding that now would be a good time to step in gets between us, taking Malfoy’s glare in full force. “Malfoy, she’s with me I made her stop here I forgot something on my desk, we’ll be in and out in no more than 2 minutes, if you stop giving her the death glare long enough for me to search my things.” Draco doesn’t break eye contact with me but nods at Seamus’s words.
“Make it quick, she’s not welcome here.” He spits out as he turns back around and go back into his office slamming the door.
“Oh who does he bloody think he is! Once again telling me what I can and cannot do!” Angry I follow him, hearing a word of protest from Seamus as I throw open Draco’s door open to see a picture of me with several darts in it posted up on the wall across from his desk. Ignoring it I stalk right up to Malfoy poking him hard in the chest to which he glares, “Oi, YOU! I can be anywhere I damn well please I’ll have you know mister MINISTER.” I spit out venomously getting right in his face. I hear Seamus enter the room behind me, surely he was afraid it would be a bloodbath soon if he didn’t step in. But no, we were going to duke this out right here and right now, as if on cue we both turn to Seamus and yell, “GET THE HELL OUT!”
The door closes behind Seamus as he leaves and I’m still glaring up at Draco who’s glaring right back at me. If looks could kill I was sure we’d both be dead at this point. Swiftly like the seeker he once was, he grabs my hands, spins me around and pins me against the wall now pressed tightly to my back. Before I had a chance to protest his mouth is ravaging my own, lost in the sensation I wrap my legs tightly around his waist and he moves his hands from tightly pinning my arms to the wall to tightly gripping my hips, holding me firmly between the wall and his body. Time seems to have stopped as we continue to makeout still angry with each other. We must’ve been at it for some time because I hear someone clear their throat from behind Draco and am broken of my reverie. I see Seamus with an eyebrow quirked up just staring at me and Draco. Breathing heavily I dislodge myself from where I was being sure to bump roughly into Draco’s shoulder, feeling cold suddenly I look down to see at some point my shirt had come off. Angry again I turn around to see Draco standing smugly against the wall holding my shirt on the tip of his index finger, I glare at him as I head back in his direction and grab my shirt to which I receive I light tap on my bum, and he receives another glare. Putting my shirt back on to Seamus’s snickers I begin to exit the room but not before shouting over my shoulder, “THIS CHANGES NOTHING MALFOY!” and punching Seamus in the gut to which I hear a groan.
As we leave the office I hear Draco laughing in his office seemingly amused at the entire situation. Seamus and I then head to Diagon Alley, anytime Seamus attempts to bring up the situation I point my wand at his throat to which he shuts up. Before long we’re at Hog’s Head with 3 shots of firewhiskey sitting in front of me.
It was going to be another long night as I couldn’t get the feeling of his lips on mine out of my head. And now I couldn’t stop noticing the weight of that ring on my finger.
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