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For me? by Redvines714
Chapter 1 : For me?
 
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The stars lean down to kiss you and I lie awake and miss you… pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
 


 

 


 

“Fred…” I whisper to the grave. “Fred… Fred… I can’t believe this all happened. It’s been three days Fred. I haven’t seen your crooked smile in three whole days. And I’ll never see it again”. The tears stream down my face for the first time since I first saw you lying there, but now the reality has sunk in.
  


 

“Fred… I could have saved you. I shouldn’t have just stood there and let you die. I’m so sorry Freddy”.
 


 

 


 

Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly but I'll miss your arms around me


 

 


 

 


 

I know that you died fighting Fred. I know that because of you and so many other brave witches and wizards I can sleep soundly but why am I so selfish? In my heart I wish it could be anyone else… George, Ron, Harry, Ginny… anyone else. I don’t understand why you had to die! You were so full of life and now all that’s left of you is this mound of dirt at my feet.
 


 

 


 

I'd send a postcard to you, dear, cause I wish you were here


 



 


 

I write letters to you all the time, did you know that? When I’m happy or sad or scared or just missing you. You may not be here to hold my hand, but I can still talk to you through my letters. I’m writing you one right now, I hope you get it soon. I hope you liked the one I put in your grave… have you read them yet Freddy? Are you lonely? I don’t know where you are Fred. Are you just a body in the dirt? Or are you someplace else? Where ever you are can you do me a favor? Please be happy. For me?


I'll watch the night turn light blue but it's not the same without you, because it takes two to whisper quietly
 

 


 

I went to your shop the other day. I’ve never seen George work that hard… it’s making him sick. It’s been four weeks since that day and I don’t think George has slept more than a handful of hours. He hasn’t spoken either. He keeps a notepad with him and writes what he wants to say. The weird thing is the notepad is fairly empty… like no one has spoken to him much. He’s falling apart Fred. I had to nearly beg him to get coffee with me. He just sat there and I talked. We’ve done that every day for a week. I beg. We drink. He sits. I talk.
 


 


 


 

The silence isn't so bad till I look at my hands and feel sad cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.


 



 


 

He sees me looking at my hands. I look at them a lot Fred. Remember the first time you held my hand? I do. I was scared about my first Quidditch game and you grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. And then I knew it would be okay.
 


 


Did you know George has the same hands as you? I was crying and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. Then he cried too. And he talked. And he yelled. And he cried some more. He talked nonstop, making up for his wordless days. I knew he loved you Fred, but I can’t even comprehend how much pain he’s in right now.

 


 

 


 

I'll find repose in new ways though I haven't slept in two days cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
 


 


 


 

But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night.


 



 


 

Fred… I hope it’s okay with you, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with George. Well… all my time actually. Yesterday I went to his house. I mean your house. He wasn’t home when I got there so I waited on your porch. When he got home he was crying. He was visiting you, but you probably knew that. He visits you a lot. Does he talk about me?


 



We talked for a hours on your porch. We talked about you Fred. That’s when I realized he sounds like you Fred. When he speaks I hear you. When we got cold he went inside. I spent the night Fred. He let me sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch. That’s when I realized he had a great heart. Just. Like. You.
 


 

 


 

Waist deep in thought because when I think of you I don't feel so alone
 


 

 


 

I know George isn’t you Fred. You may look the same, but I can see the differences. I’m not trying to replace you Fred. No one could ever replace you. It’s just… with George I don’t feel so alone.
 


 

I don't feel so alone
 
 


 

 I don't feel so alone


 



Please be happy. For me?
 


 


As many times as I blink, I'll think of you tonight
 


 

Fred I’m so sorry! I’m so so sorry! I know you’re watching… I can feel it. You love me… or at least you once did. I love you Fred. I always have, and I’ll never stop loving you Fred! I had to move on… I can’t keep writing these letters and pretending the world is the same!
He kissed me Fred. And I kissed him back. We talked about it afterwards and we decided we don’t want to hurt you… but… I love him too Fred. If you were here, things would be different. But George… he was there for me, and I was there for him. But I promise I’ll think of you tonight.


 



And heavy wings grow lighter; I'll taste the sky and feel alive again. And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you.
 

 


 

Fred, I hope you did what I said. I hope you are still happy. Did you hear the news? Fred… George and I are getting married. I hope you are okay with this. It’s been two years since that day Fred. Even through all that time, I can still feel your arms. I think of you every day Fred. And I still love you. I swear I’ll never forget you.


 

 


 

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear: "Oh darling I wish you were here"


 

 


 

Fred… George and I just had a baby. Guess what we named him? We named our little boy Fred. He looks so much like you Fred. He’s got your eyes. I guess they are George’s eyes also, but they remind me so much of you.


 

 It’s been so long since I’ve been able to hug you. It’s been so many years Freddy. I still love you just as much as I have ever. I still wish you were here. I don’t know what life would be like if you we’re here. I love George now Fred. I’m so confused, but I feel like I understand why you died now. Thank you Fred… you’ve changed me so much. Can you do me one last favor. I know I’ve asked for so much already… but can you please be happy? For me?




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