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Typical Clueless Guy by PygmyPuffLover
Chapter 23 : The Dancing
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 23

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"What?" I said hollowly.

Lily clapped her hands over her mouth and looked like she could not believe what she had just said. For that matter, I cannot believe what she just said.

"Vanessa, Hugo's in love with you." Albus said calmly, pulling his sister into her seat and standing up again.

I shook my head. Why are these people telling me that Hugo is in love with me when it's quite obvious that he's not?

"No, no he's can't be." I muttered, more to myself than anyone else. Albus watched my face. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed; standing there in front of everyone, pretty much having a mental breakdown.

"What is this?" I eventually asked, my voice more angry than I intended it to be. "Is this just another one of your plans to try and get me to tell Hugo that I love him?" I shot at Lily, getting angrier.

Lily shook her head, her eyes huge.

What is this shit? Why are they being like this? Why - why... I don't understand. These people are SO STUPID. What the fuck do they think they're playing at, the little -

"I'm sorry for disturbing your lovely dinner." I said to Nana Weasley woodenly. "But I'm not really very hungry anymore, so I'm going to head back up to the house."

And with that, I turned on my heel and stalked back towards The Burrow.

Hugo Weasley, in love with me. Yeah, sure. Snort.


"Happy Christmas!" Lily screamed, whacking me in the face with her pillow.

I grunted and twisted my head to a more comfortable position on Hugo's chest. Hugo arm tightened on my shoulder, which prevented me from being able to get up anyway. I squeezed his hand and he leaned his chin down slightly to kiss me on the top of the head.

I heard Lily wake up Roxanne and then turn back to me. She whacked me over the face again, but before she could pull the pillow away, Hugo had grabbed it and tossed it across the room. A very impressive feat when you consider that he still had his eyes closed.

"Leave us alone." He yawned, and I nodded slightly to show my agreement.

I could practically hear Lily's eyes roll.

"Hugo, you have presents." Lily said. Hugo sat up straight, pulling me onto his knee and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm up." He said quickly. I giggled and he smiled at me, leaning forwards to kiss me lightly on the lips.

"Happy Christmas." He murmured.

"Happy Christmas." I murmured back, leaning forwards to press my lips against his again.

"Alright, none of that this early in the morning." Albus grinned, walking forwards and lifting me off his knee. Tosser.

He shoved me onto one of the couches that had been pressed up against the wall, and then tossed me a couple of small boxes and one slightly bigger box.

I noticed that everyone else had one hell of a lot more presents than me. But still, there are people in other countries who don't have anything, so I've just got to be grateful that I've got a family and a home and school and friends.

I pulled the wrapping off the biggest box and two books fell onto my knee, ones that I had been asking my parents for since last Christmas. I smiled down at them and laid them down in the empty space next to me on the couch.

I opened the next box, which had a small note on the front that read 'To my best friend in the whole wide world, loads of love, Lily'. She may annoy the living shit out of me sometimes, but she means the world to me, she really does.

I pulled open the box and smiled. Lily bought me a charm bracelet for our first Christmas together in first year, and every year since she has bought me a charm to go on it.

It was a stunning silver butterfly, with small red gems studded along the outside of the wings.

"Lily, it's beautiful." I croaked, and she got up from behind the enormous stack of presents and sat down next to me. She held her arms out and gave me a massive hug.

"I mean it. I love you Van." She said.

"I love you too Lils." I muttered into her hair.

I opened the rest of my presents, which consisted of a box of chocolates from Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny, a bottle of perfume from Al and James, a box filled with lots different bottles of nail polish from Roxanne, Lucy and Molly, a hand knitted jumper from Nana Weasley and a pair of gloves and a scarf from Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron.

I thought that one was a little odd. They've never bought me a present before. They've given me a card, sure, but never a present.

When we had all unwrapped our presents, and then adults had given out their hugs and received their thanks, we headed into the garden for breakfast.

After a couple of minutes of light chat, Aunt Hermione turned to Hugo and I.

"So, what did you two get each other for Christmas?"

How are you supposed to say 'nothing' without it sounding really bad?

"We decided not to get each other presents." Hugo told her, swallowing his sausage. "Not actual ones anyway."

The last part was muttered to me, but old Eagle Ears caught it anyway.

"What do you mean, 'not actual ones'?" She asked. Lily choked on her piece of toast and had to be clapped on the back by an amused looking Lysander.

By this point the whole of the family was looking at us. We both looked like a pair of sunburned radishes.

"We exchanged...imaginary gifts?" Hugo said.

IMAGINARY GIFTS? IMAGINARY GIFTS? Why the hell would she believe that? And I thought that I was bad at cover stories.

"Exchanged saliva, more like." Albus muttered, and James started sniggering.

I swung my leg out and kicked him under the table, grinning as he winced, but the damage was already done. Aunt Hermione flushed and quickly took a bite of toast so she didn't have to say anything in return. Hugo looked very interested in a tree at the other end of the garden.

"At least I've got a girl who will actually snog me." Hugo muttered, and Albus' cheeks went pink. I snorted into my mug of coffee.

I am so cool.


We had just finished eating lunch when Aunt Hermione, Aunt Ginny and Aunt Angelina came in, followed by a thoroughly bored looking Uncle Ron.

"We have a surprise!" Aunt Ginny grinned, and I lifted my head off Hugo's lap to look at them. OH MY GOD, NOT LIKE THAT! We were playing charades and I was lying down on the couch, using his knee as a pillow.

Jesus, gutter head.

"What?" Lily asked, twisting around as she tried to portray something that mostly resembled a deformed kettle.

"We're having a party tonight, and all the Hogwarts students in the vicinity of here have been invited!" Aunt Hermione said.

"Party?" Lily squeaked.

"Yes. We've made the marquee outside into a sort of club, and there is going to be a party there tonight." She beamed. Lily's face became one much like a four year old set free in a candy store.

"And you're telling me now?" She shrieked. "I need more time than this to get ready! What time does it start?"

"Nine." Aunt Hermione said, staring at her niece in amusement.

Lily went pale.

"Nine?" She whispered. "So Vanessa and I only have eight hours to get ready?"

"Woah, Vanessa and I?" I chipped in. Everyone laughed.

"Come on, we have to go!" Lily shouted, running across the room, grabbing my arm and almost yanking it out of its socket. My arm likes being in its socket, thanks very much. That's why it lives there.

She pulled me across the room and up the stairs to the bathroom, grabbing her trunk and dragging it along behind her as she ran along.

Why am I best friends with this girl?


"Lily, why do I have wear so much makeup? I feel like a hooker." I moaned as I gingerly poked my face. It was now nine o'clock, and I could hear the music floating through the window.

Aunt Hermione had hammered on the door a couple of minutes ago and told us to hurry up, because they were waiting for us before they went down.

"And done!" Lily said happily, with one final flourish of the mascara brush.

I scowled at her and got up. I promptly fell down again. I stared in horror at my feet, which were wearing the highest heels I had ever seen, this twisted my feet into proportions I didn't even know they were capable of being twisted into.

I stood up again and careful waddled across the bathroom, almost falling over with every step I took.

I stood in front of the full length mirror and my mouth fell open. Do you remember what I said about feeling like a hooker? Well, I also looked like a hooker.

Lily had squeezed me into a strapless, baby pink, skin tight dress that only just came down past my arse – and I mean only just – and an enormous pair of black suede heels. I was wearing so much makeup I didn't even look like me, and my hair had been curled properly with tongs and kept down in all its craziness.

I turned around and stared at Lily. She was wearing a very similar, hooker worthy outfit.

"You're insane." I said hollowly. Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You look gorgeous Van. Hugo won't be able to keep his hands off you." She smirked, which grew bigger as I stumbled forwards and clouted her around the earlug.

"Come on, let's go!" She sang, and I scowled, following her down the stairs.

She shoved open the door and pranced into the living room, where her family were waiting. I heard them sigh and the guys wolf whistle, and Lily giggle. I let the door swing shut and then peered through the frosted glass on the side.

Lysie walked forwards and kissed her on the cheek, blushing when Uncle Harry cleared his throat loudly and Albus cracked his knuckles.

"You look gorgeous." He said, and she beamed at him.

"Just wait until you see Vanessa." She grinned, and turned around, as though expecting me to be standing there. When she realised I wasn't she sighed and folded her arms.

"Vanessa, come out." She said.

"Not until you've got me a proper outfit. This isn't a bloody dress; it looks more like a belt!" I protested, calling through the door.

"Vanessa, you look amazing. Everyone is wearing pretty much the same type of thing, just get out here." She called, and I could see her roll her eyes through the glass.

"Nope." I said stubbornly.

"Vanessa, get out here, or I will tell everyone what happened on March 18th of last year." Lily called threateningly.

She wouldn't...

"You wouldn't!" I called in horror. Yes, I did just repeat my exact thoughts. No, it is not weird. And yes, you should shut up about it.

"Oh yes I would. Now get out here." She said calmly. I hate her.

I took a deep breath, pulled the dress down as far as it would go – not very – and pushed the door open.

"Lily I can't even walk in these heels!" I moaned as everyone's jaws dropped. Well, I suppose that's kind of flattering.

"Oh. My. Merlin." Roxanne and Molly said at the same time.

"Well you're not taking them off, they complete the outfit." She said stubbornly, folding her arms and pouting at me.

I rolled my eyes.

Some hands slid around my waist and crossed in front of my stomach, pulling me back into a hard chest. Roxanne giggled.

"You look beautiful." Hugo murmured in my ear, and I went pink.

I twisted around so I could see his face and smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, hard and desperately, crushing his lips to mine as though he needed it like oxygen.

I twisted around so we were face to face and flung my arms around his neck, barely needing to look up because the heels were so ridiculously high. Hugo tightened one of his arms around my waist and slid the other up into my hair, gripping at the roots...

"Ahem." Lucy coughed loudly. We ignored her.

I opened my mouth slightly and Hugo slid his tongue inside, pulling my face closer to his.

"I SAID, AHEM!" Lucy shouted. I smiled against Hugo's mouth and slowly pulled my face away, turning around so I could see Lucy.

She was also wearing a very short dress, and looked very pretty, the expression on her face amused rather than annoyed.

"Can you two not keep your hands off each other for one minute?" She asked, laughing. I scowled and Hugo flushed, burying his face in my hair.

Lily looked like she was going to complain about the fact he was messing it up after she'd spent so long getting it right, but at the look I shot her she stayed silent.

"Let's go!" Aunt Hermione called, beaming. We started to follow her out, me stumbling slowly in those stupid, stupid shoes.

"Do you want me to carry you?" Hugo whispered in my ear. I nodded quickly and he grinned, scooping me into his arms and spinning me around. I giggled and he leaned down to quickly peck me on the lips.

He carried me across the garden, and straight into the pitch black marquee. He found a table in the corner big enough for most of his family and carefully sat me down in one of the chairs, throwing himself down into the one next to it.

And I stayed in that seat for the majority of the night. Hugo stayed with me, he didn't get up and dance with any of the blonde bimbos who tried to force him to, he stayed in his seat and occasionally got me another drink.

If I loved him any more I think I would randomly combust.

His family tried to get me to dance with them, but I refused. For one, I was worried if I stood up I would just fall over in those ridiculous shoes.

Eventually Al got bored with me sitting around and watching – even though I was enjoying myself – so he walked up to my seat, threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the dance floor like a sack of potatoes.

Everyone else seemed to think it was hilarious, but I was slightly more preoccupied with making sure that fucking dress stayed covering my arse.

So for a whole song I was basically spun around on Al Potter's shoulder. I have such an interesting and imaginative life. It's like a fairytale...not.

Eventually he turned around and unceremoniously dumped me back in my seat. I scowled and spat my curls out of my mouth.

Hugo grinned at me for a moment and then he seemed to have an idea.

"Come and dance." Hugo muttered to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my seat. I ignored the pointed smirk from my best friend and her family and followed Hugo into the small clearing in the middle of the dancing crowd.

I stared at him for a moment and he grinned, throwing my arms around his neck and sliding his own arms around my waist, and letting his hands settle on the back of my hips.

The song quickly turned into a fast dance number and Hugo pulled me tighter into his chest, moving slightly faster in time with the music.

I felt awkward. I can't dance to save my life. Seriously, I really can't dance. AT ALL. This was the other reason I stayed in my seat all night.

Hugo rolled his eyes and leaned down so his mouth was brushing along the side of my face, and his breath was hot in my ear.

"Close your eyes." He muttered. "Just move with the music. Just do what feels natural...what feels good."

I did as I was told. I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me. I listened to the beat, the steady thumping, and let myself move with it.

I kept my eyes closed and pulled my arms tighter around Hugo's neck, pulling him closer towards me, pressing my body into his.

He tightened his arms around my waist and moved with me, neither of us caring who was watching or what anyone was thinking.

So what if I'm dancing like a hooker, and so what if the way we're grinding together isn't really appropriate in front of his entire family.

I turned around and pressed my back up against his chest, wrapping both my arms around his neck and swerving my hips from side to side.

Hugo groaned in my ear and began to kiss along the side of my neck, trailing gently across my collarbone and up the side of my face.

I turned my face to the side gently ran my tongue along the length of his jaw, moaning as he gently nipped as he kissed.

I tightened my fingers in his hair as though I was trying to pull it out by the roots.

It was so passionate. In that room, with the flashing coloured lights and the extreme dark and the thumping music, the passion was flowing between us so powerfully I felt like I would be held there forever by it.

Hugo brought one of his hands from around my waist and ran it down my stomach, right down to the top of my thigh.

I groaned and threw my head back so I could kiss the underside of his jaw gently, pushing myself into his chest as hard as I could, desperate for the passion to stay, to never run out.

He moaned into my ear and I began to gasp as he started to lightly bite his way across my collar bone.

We weren't aware that several people were shouting our names, calling us; we were too wrapped up in each other, in the electrical passion that was flowing between us.

"Hugo..." I panted in his ear, and he growled, pressing his hand against my hip so hard it almost hurt.

"Vanessa..." He moaned desperately against my neck, kissing once and then nipping hard. I screamed quietly against his jaw and his hands tightened convulsively, one on my hip and the other working its way up my thigh.

I need him. Like air to breathe, I need him. The only thing in the world right now is him, and it's incredible.

Hugo grabbed my arm suddenly and started to drag me backwards. I stumbled slightly and my eyes flew open, watching as the party grew smaller.

Hugo dragged me away from the marquee and pulled me into the shadows of the trees in the garden. He slammed me up against a tree – hard – and pulled me in towards his chest.

I slammed against his muscles and groaned as he began to kiss along my neck again. He worked his way down my neck and along my collar bone, and then traced kissed all the way down to the top of my dress.

I screamed quietly and knotted my fingers in his hair as hard as I could.

"Hugo –" I begged, and he responded.

He lifted his mouth up and pressed it against mine so hard my head slammed back into the tree.

He stepped forwards so my entire body was trapped between his solid muscle and the tree. I gripped his hair tighter and opened my mouth so he could jam his tongue in, not in slightest sense lightly.

He pulled his tongue back into his own mouth for a moment and I used this time to jam my tongue into his mouth, with he promptly bit down on, groaning.

I broke away, panting, and he attacked my neck again, nipping more than kissing.

And then the passion was popped like a soap bubble as I saw the very worst thing I could possibly see in this situation.

Lily, James and Albus were standing a couple of metres away, looking either scandalised or gobsmacked – Lily an odd mixture of the two.

Hugo was too intent on my neck to notice, so I gave him a quick shove, but he just pressed himself up against me again, moaning slightly in protest.

"Hugo," I croaked, my voice thick and cracked, "Hugo, your family are watching."

Hugo leapt off me like I was diseased and slammed his own back against the tree next to the one I was pressed up against.

When he saw who was staring at us he flushed bright pink and tried to cover his swollen mouth with his hand.

Albus and James looked like they were both going to be sick or had just been slapped with a wet fish, and Lily was looking like she could not decide between cheering and shouting at me.

God, it's not like they were watching us shag or anything.

It was only...enthusiastic snogging.

I blushed and glanced at Hugo, who was staring at the floor.

"So," I croaked into the nightly silence, "I think I'm just going to go to bed." I stumbled forwards, tottering slightly in the ridiculous heels Lily had forced me into.

"I'll help you." Hugo said thickly, stepping forwards and gently putting a hand under my elbow.

"I don't think so." Lily said, walking forwards and grabbing him by the ear. "You can go to bed, Vanessa, I need to speak to my dearest cousin."

I thought she would have been annoyed with me, but she smiled at me warmly and then pursed her lips at Hugo.

I stumbled forwards and almost tripped over again.

I groaned in frustration and pulled the heels off my feet, chucking them at Albus, who caught them, ignoring Lily – who was basically standing there looking like she desperately wanted to laugh.

"Good night." I said to the lot of them, who were all still staring at me.

I stumbled into the house, my mind reeling. The passion felt like it had been popped like a bubble, but the intensity and electricity seemed to be burned into my mind.

I glanced at myself in the mirror over the fireplace and realised why they wouldn't stop staring at me with their mouths hanging open.

My lips were swollen to twice their normal size, and my makeup was smudged all around my face. My hair looked like I had been electrocuted and my dress had ridden up so it was sitting on my hip on one side. You could see a hell of a lot of lace bra over the top of the dress.


Whore alert.


disclaimer: none of this belongs to me.

so... CONGRATULATIONS to the two reviewers that said exactly what I knew was goingn to happen - it will only work out if vanessa believes them. and given that we all know how batshit clueless she is, did you really think she was going to believe he loved her because lily said so? 


so anyone that is reallyyyy mad at me for doing this, just think of this - wouldnt you rather that hugo told her himself? hmm... and another small hint - this story only has four more chapters to go :D

so it can't be that long... kisses - and please dont kill me for that - ellie :) xx

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