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Chapter 15 : Convey
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Scorpius settles down onto the couch, raising an eyebrow. After a moment he turns slightly to look at me and, after glancing around nervously, asks, “Do you really think it’s one of them?”
I bite my lip, those three names flashing through my head again. Could it really be one of them? “I… Yes. I wish it wasn’t, but I—I think so.” I take a deep breath and admit, “I don’t really see any other option.”
He nods slowly. After a moment he leans back against the couch again, letting out trembling moan. I know he’s thinking about his dad’s strange appearance in his mum’s hospital room this morning.
I sigh slightly. “Scorpius…” Suddenly, words elude me. I have no idea what to say to help him. I don’t know what to do. I want to do something; he’s done so many things for me. But I can’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. Comforting people was never my strong suit. That was always Rose and Louis. I chew on my bottom lip, trying to think of something to say.
There’s still nothing.
He looks up at me, and I can see the tears filling his eyes. He sniffles slightly and looks away quickly, probably trying to pretend he isn’t crying. I reach out and touch his shoulder. He pulls away slightly, and I stand up, pacing the polished wood floors of Malfoy manor, unable to sit still any longer.
I freaking hate this. I can’t do anything to help. Somehow I always make a mess of things when I try and it leaves me so damn frustrated. How does he always know the right things to say to me when I can’t even stop him from crying?
Merlin damnit all, he is crying, isn’t he? Fuck. Now what?
I slowly reach out as I sit back down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder. He gives a watery laugh that sounds harsher than anything I’ve ever heard come from him. I flinch and pull back slightly, staring at him.
“It doesn’t help,” He says. I blink at him, confused, and he clarifies, “Being in this house. Alone.”
I bite my lip, watching him as he leans back into the couch, his silver eyes filled with tears. “Then why do you stay? Why not just leave?”
He lets out a choked laugh. “I don’t want to stay, but I can’t leave. There’s so many bad memories… But there’s too many good ones to just give it all up, you know? I’m afraid if I leave I’ll forget what it was like to live here when I actually had a family and everything was alright. I’m afraid I’ll forget what it was like to see mum and dad together, to watch grandma Narcissa always smiling at them, to just talk to my mum, to spend any time with my dad…”
“I don’t know what it’s like for you,” I admit honestly, watching him sadly. “I wish I did, but I don’t.”
He nods slowly, his eyes far away, probably thinking about better times. “Yeah. I don’t think most people do.”
I let out a slow breath. Finally, I know I have to ask him, no matter how awful it sounds, no matter what he thinks of me. It might help me find dad. “Scorpius, do you know what your dad’s been up to the last couple of months?”
He sighs, looking up at me, forcing a smile. “I think we’ve been over this. No. I wish I had some clue, but I don’t.”
I pat his shoulder, mumbling under my breath, and he shoots me an amused look. “What are you talking about over there?” he asks, smiling again.
I open my mouth to respond to his question when everything suddenly goes fuzzy. Oh, no. Not now. Not here. I blink slowly, my hand clawing around the arm of the chair to keep my balance as I draw in a shaky breath. I know what’s going to happen now. And I don’t like it. Not one bit.
“Al?” Scorpius asks, looking alarmed, but that fades away too, and I’m left in darkness for a moment.
I can see red flashes, I can hear screams and cries, I can see Zabini’s face full of malice, a horrible laugh sounds from somewhere behind me, causing me to shudder. Then I can see Scorpius, wand extended in front of him, yelling. I can see Rose, her face pale and eyes wide, as she stares off in the distance at something.
I can see a door, a hallway of black bricks.
And then everything goes black.
I groan and try to sit up, but when I discover that it hurts too much I just lie there limply, not daring to move much, rubbing my forehead. I try to recall what I saw, but my head hurts too much to think straight at the moment. I frown slightly, still trying to blink the blurriness out of my vision.
I can’t even think straight. Where am I? What happened? I let out a slight moan as I shift slightly, unable to get comfortable on the hard surface beneath me. What is going on…?
“What the hell?” I grumble to myself, rolling my shoulders back in an attempt to move without hurting myself more. I wince slightly. Damn, that hurt too. I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain, wincing again.
When I’m finally able to see straight the first thing I see is a panicked pair of silver blue eyes staring at me. Scorpius’s eyes widen and he finally says in a breathless, frightened voice, “Wh—what was… Fuck. Al…?”
I blink up at him drowsily and finally say in a tired sounding voice, “Oh, Merlin. Did I pass out again?”
There is a short pause.
“Again?” Scorpius demands, staring at me in horror. “What’s going on, Al?”
I sigh and sit up slowly, leaning my head back against the bottom of the couch—ouch, Merlin damnit—and finally take in a deep breath. “I… I might have a little advantage in divination,” I admit, biting my lip.
Scorpius stares at me, breathless. “You—You’re a seer? You make prophecies and all that shit?”
He looks so incredibly freaked out that I have to hold back a chuckle. You make prophecies and all that shit? Nice, Scorpius. You’re just so tactful, aren’t you? … My. More sarcasm for me.
I wince as I try to sit up further. “I haven’t made a prophecy—yet. I—I have visions, though.”
“Visions of what?” He asks hesitantly, sitting down next to me on the… floor I think. Why the hell am I on the floor? My brow furrows slightly.
He hands me an ice pack and explains, “You fell off the couch when you… blacked out, I think, and hit your head on the table before I could do anything.”
I press the ice softly against my forehead, saying, “Thanks,” but then return to his original question. “It—it depends. Sometimes I see people I don’t know. Sometimes I see small things. Sometimes it’s big things.”
“What did you see this time?” Scorpius questions, his brow furrowed.
I bite my lip slightly as the memories come flooding back, trying to find a meaning to them all. I don’t see anything that makes much sense. “I—I’m not quite sure. I don’t know what to make of it. I—I saw red lights and I heard screaming. Then I saw Zabini. And then you. You were yelling something—and—and you had your wand raised. Then Rose. She looked scared. And then this dark hallway and…” I wrinkle my nose, and narrow my eyes, trying to concentrate for a few seconds. I give up a few minutes later, shaking my head. “I don’t know what to make of it,” I repeat after a moment. “It scares me sometimes, Scorpius. I don’t know what I’m supposed to figure out. It’s frightening.” Why does my voice sound so freaking small and pathetic? What the hell is wrong with me today?
I can’t do anything right. Of course I would black out while trying to comfort Scorpius. Of course. Of course I would sound so stupidly petty and pitiful when he tries to comfort me.
What the hell?
Merlin, I hate you for doing this to me. Thought I’d let you know.
I grumble, holding the ice pack to my forehead again. Scorpius bites his lip, his wide silver eyes still staring at me, frightened and full of shock.
“Who—who else knows about this?” He asks after a moment of trying to recover his voice.
I blink at him and say, “Other than you? And me? Nobody. Although, I think Professor Trelawney suspects something.”
Scorpius snorts. “Trelawney? What the hell? She probably couldn’t see past those thick glasses of hers to catch anything going on around her.”
I chuckle slightly as Scorpius snorts. After I moment I ask nervously, “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”
Scorpius shakes his head slightly, watching me curiously. “Al, why would I do that?” he asks in an exasperated tone. “Why would I suddenly tell everyone about this big secret you’ve got? What’s the point?”
“I don’t know,” I say after a moment, shaking my head. “I just—I don’t really want to tell anyone. It scares me, Scorpius.”
Scorpius pauses, watching me for a moment, running a hand through his silky blonde hair. He sighs. “How does nobody else know? I mean… Don’t you black out when you see the visions?”
I bite my lip nervously. “It usually only ever happened when I was alone before. I don’t know why it suddenly…”
He tilts his head. “You have though, haven’t you?” A sudden light flashes through his eyes. “Of course. That time in the dormitory, right?” He asks.
I blink up at him. “Er… I… What?”
“It was… McLaggen…” A slight growl escapes me at his name. That git. He’s always trying to get into other people’s business, isn’t he? “He was trying to talk to you remember? Your curtains were closed, but you didn’t even answer. We all thought you were ignoring him.”
I bite my lip. “Oh. Yeah. Probably.” I shrug slightly. “I can usually hide it pretty well. I don’t know where that one came from though. Usually I know when they’re coming.” I remove the ice from against my forehead and rub it slightly with my hand.
“It bloody hurts,” I whine to myself, wincing slightly as I move to sit up on the couch. I chew at my bottom lip, and finally look up at Scorpius who’s been silent for a long moment. “What?” I ask when I find him staring at me.
He sighs. “Al…”
“What?” I ask again, raising an eyebrow.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” He questions carefully, looking at me in his quiet manner.
I roll my eyes slightly. “I think you worry about me too much sometimes.”
He rolls his eyes back at me. “You need someone to worry about you with all the stupid things you do.”
A short laugh escapes me at this one, (he’s right isn’t he? Damn.) causing Scorpius to shake his head, a smile on his face. I grin back.
After a moment I set the ice on the table and lean back against the couch. Scorpius settles on the chair. We sit in comfortable silence for a moment before Scorpius asks thoughtfully, “Should we tell them?”
“What?” I ask, my brow furrowing, as I look up with wide eyes.
Scorpius’s eyes meet mine and he quickly amends, “I mean… Not about the blackouts… I meant the Azkaban breakout. And your dad. Should we tell anyone about it?”
“Why?” I ask, my mouth going dry. I’m finding it hard to talk all of a sudden. Where the hell is he going with this?
Scorpius bites his lip. “It’s just… How are we going to do this on our own, Al? It’s crazy.”
I sigh. “Scorpius… We can’t. I mean, if we told the aurors there’d be a lot of distress…” I finally manage to say, “How would everybody else act? I mean, the whole auror office thinks he’s out on some mission or something… But can you imagine all the people who would instantly panic because he’s gone?”
Scorpius is still chewing on his bottom lip. “I know, I just… I don’t know how we expect to do this alone. It’s ridiculous. We don’t even know who we’re looking for… What we’re looking for…”
I sigh. “We have to find him you know,” I say, looking down at my hands.
Scorpius sighs. “We will.”
I bite my lip. “There’s only two weeks left until school starts again.” I turn my head slightly to look at him and ask, “Is it awful that there seems to be no chance, Scorpius? I don’t want to give up, but what if we don’t find him in time?”
“We will,” he insists, his voice calm and comforting, quite a contrast to my panicky tone. I sigh.
We sit in silence for a moment longer before I glance over at him to find him with his head leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
“Is something wrong?” I ask quietly, not sure what else to say.
Scorpius glances at me, a slight smirk lighting his face and says, “No, I was just… Just thinking. About my mum.”
I blink and sit back, biting my lip nervously. “What about her?” Merlin, please tell me he’s not going to start crying again. I’m not sure I’d know how to deal with that. Actually, I never know how to deal with that, so…
He takes a deep breath. “Everything was better with her around, you know? Everything just seemed brighter.”
I sigh slightly. “She sounds like my dad.”
Scorpius bites his lip and adds, “It’s scary, imagining life without her. She’s always been there, to comfort me, to make things better… and I don’t know what I’m going to do when she’s gone. And dad’s left… I don’t know. I feel so alone, Al. It’s like I’m going to lose everyone.”
“Not me,” I whisper softly. “You won’t lose me.”
He blinks up at me, and tears fill his eyes again. I bite my lip as he murmurs, “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me…”
I chew on my bottom lip, tasting the blood as I bite too hard. “Scorpius, you’ve helped me so much. I’ll always be there for you. Don’t doubt that, okay?”
I watch a tear drip down his face slowly. “Al…”
After a short moment of silence, I pat his shoulder, finally able to sit up straight again without any pain flashing through me (Thank Merlin). There’s a longer pause and then I say, “It’ll be okay in the end, you know?”
He lets out a trembling sigh. “Yeah. Yeah. It’ll be alright.” Then he smiles up at me, and I know, for once, I actually said the right thing.
A/N: Let’s see, there you all are. The next chapter… What is it? Sixteen? Jeez. (We’re five chapters away, people!) Anyhow, chapter sixteen will have an Al-weird-loopy moment, a little bit of a Scorpius freak out moment, Rose being… Rose, and one of Scorpius’s poems again.
Anyways, here’s the preview for all of you:
This is one of those days where I can just imagine that dad is still with us. I can imagine getting up and going downstairs, finding James and Lily already eating, mum cooking more waffles, dad looking up from his newspaper when I enter the room, smiling and saying, “how’s my snake this morning?” I can imagine laughing in return, settling down at the table and grabbing a plate of my own, snickering to myself as James tries to shove five waffles in his mouth at once and gets hit over the head with mum’s spatula as she tells him to slow down. I can imagine Lily shaking her head in exasperation, telling us that she’s going to a friend’s house as she picks up her bag and leaves. I can imagine James stuffing the rest of his food into his mouth before proclaiming, “I’m off to Fred’s!” and then he follows after Lily. And then I can imagine that it would be just another peaceful morning in the house with mum and dad, eating breakfast, talking about school, their work, listening to old stories from their Hogwarts years. I can imagine smiling as mum and dad kiss every once and while. It would be just like every other morning at home.
I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath, that fuzzy warm feeling still not wearing off. I’m waiting for the image to shatter, for everything to fall to pieces, because that’s all I have left.
I’ll try to get chapter sixteen (ohmygosh) up as soon as possible. A review would be most loved and welcome. :)
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