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Chapter 2 : Two: Murder in the Dark
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After the 'Operation' (8:11 P.M.)
"Alright," Ron said, wiping his forehead, "We put our blood, sweat, and tears into this, and I hope you like it."
"I hope I do too," Dean said hesitantly.
Ron nodded at Harry, and Harry took out a mirror so Dean could look at himself. Meanwhile, about 10 miles from The Burrow, a flock of birds fly away from a pond as they hear Dean scream out.
"So, I take it as you don't like it?" Harry said.
"Oh no," Dean replied sarcastically, "No, I love it! It's so pretty! That's why I screamed!"
"HELL NO! How the fuck am I supposed to get girls now if it looks like a fucking truck driver ran over it with their truck?"
"Oh common! Cheer up," Ron reassured, "A-A-And look on the bright side! It'll grow back...eventually..."
"Eventually? EVENTUALLY? It took me 3 years to get this Afro to the right density and height! Now it's ruined! RONALD WEASLEY! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"
"EEEEPPPP!" Ron screeched out as he ran away into the kitchen, where the girls had started eating their pizza.
"GET BACK HERE!" Dean screamed as he chased Ron around the kitchen counter.
"I have cookies!" Luna called.
"Cookies!" Dean cried out, and he runs over to the table and sits on the floor next to the chair where Luna sat. "Woof Woof!"
Everyone else looked at the two with their mouths wide open.
"Okay sit," Luna said. Dean sat cross-legged.
"Good Boy Dean! Now Play Dead!"
Dean stood up and clutched his chest.
"Why cruel world, why? WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG? Oh, yeah, and Ron? I used your green highlighting gel for Halloween last year."
"You did what! I, uh, I mean...what green highlighting gel?"
"Ugh!" Dean let out as he collapsed to the floor. Everyone else clapped at his performance.
"Took me a month and a couple of pounds of cookies," Luna said while giving Dean a cookie, "But I finally taught it to him."
"COOOKKKIIIEEEE!" Dean took a fast bite, and ended up choking, resulting in him spitting the cookie on the floor. He looked at it longingly.
"Ginny, y'all better have clean floors!"
"Don't count on it."
"Whew! Thanks for saving me, Luna!" Ron said as he hugged Luna
"Don't touch me," she replied as she pushed him away, "But why does his hair look like a truck driver ran over it with their truck?"
"We got bored," Ron answered, "So me and Harry decided to give him a new look. Only, it turned out to be worse than his original look.
"WHADDAYA MEAN 'WORSE'?" Dean shouted.
"Oh I can fix that!" Ginny reassured, "One of my class courses is over hair styling!"
And she fixed up Dean's hair until it was exactly the way it was before Ron and Harry touched it.
"Yay! I'm pretty again!"
Luna held out the box of pizza for the boys to see.
"Hey, do you guys want some-"
"PIZZA!" The boys shouted as they dived into the box.
27 seconds later (8:16 P.M.)
"ICE CREAM!" Dean shouted out.
"I'll take the biggest bowl you got!" Harry said.
"HELL NO!" Hermione said firmly to Harry, "No ice cream for you. You know what sugar does to you."
"B-B-But I never get to have ice cream! No fair!" He whined.
"Exactly. Nobody wants the world's greatest boy wizard bouncing around their walls on a sugar rush."
"Well, you've a got a point there...BUT IT'S ICE-ICE-ICE CRE-E-E-EAM!" He sobbed.
"Too bad. Here, have a carrot instead," she said and she handed a carrot to him.
"I'm gonna carrot you..." he grumbled as he took a bite.
Dean and Ron snickered as they stuffed their faces with ice cream.
"Don't rub the salt in the wound, guys," Harry groaned.
"Did you say something?" Dean said as he looked up from his ice cream.
Harry then seized the bowls of ice cream from Ron and Dean, and dumped them in the sink, leaving Ron and Dean to stare at him disbelievingly with their mouths wide open, and bottom jaws about to hit the floor.
"MY ICE CREAM!" The two boys cried out.
"Whoops, did I do that? Here, have a carrot!" Harry said, passing them his carrot.
"Okay gang," Luna started up, "It's half past 8. What do y'all wanna do now?"
"Well, I want to-" Ron started.
"WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT!" Ginny shouted in his ear.
"I say we play murder in the dark!"
"Yay!" Hermione cheered, "I love that game!"
"D-D-D-Dark?" Dean stuttered out, "What's 'Murder in the D-D-Dark'? Sounds scary..."
"It's nothing to be afraid of, really," Ginny reassured, "It's just a pointless game about a detective and suspects. Oh, and there's a murderer too."
"Oooh! I'll be murderer if Harry's the victim!" Ron called out, causing Harry to glare at him.
"No, dumbass! We have to draw pieces of paper to see who's who," Ginny said as she grabbed strips of paper, "Now, everyone draw, but don't say who you got!"
She put out her hand, and everyone reached for a piece of paper.
"Alright, who got the detective?"
"I did!" Ron shouted.
"Dude, she said don't tell!" Dean yelled at him.
"Oh...shit...I wanna redraw! That was a trick question!"
"No, it's okay Ron," she said as she handed him a flashlight, "Now, you stay here while we go into the living room. When you hear someone scream, run in there and start asking questions. The goal is to find out who's the murderer, got it?"
Everyone left him and went into the living room.
"Okay, who's the murderer?" Hermione asked.
"Me..." Dean muttered.
"Okay, you touch somebody, and they die."
"Cool!" and he started to poke Luna. "Huh?" He poked Luna faster. "'Mione, it's not working!"
Luna growled, and kicked Dean in the shins, causing him to go down in pain.
"Ow! What the fuck Luna!"
"Well I know that works!"
"No," Ginny explained, "When I turn off the lights, you pick a victim and touch them. The victim screams and dies. Then the detective, or Ron, runs in here and tries to solve the crime. Everybody else got their 'suspect' papers?"
They all nodded at the last question.
"Now all of you just pick a spot on the floor and pretend to sleep, got it?"
"Got it!" Harry cried out.
And they all dropped to the floor, but Dean started shaking.
"Uh...G-G-Ginny? D-Do we really have to t-t-t-turn the lights o-o-off?"
"Yeah...why do think the game's called 'Murder in the Dark'?"
"Uh, because you play it at night?"
"JUST GET ON THE FUCKING FLOOR AND KILL SOMEONE ALREADY!" she yelled as she turn off the lights.
Dean sat on the ground and poked Hermione. Hermione, feeling satisfied about being chosen, screamed out. Ron immediately ran into the room, flashing his flashlight around.
"WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN AND WHY!" He looks at Hermione on the ground. "Hermione Granger murdered just now in the living room, and why is the question..."
Hermione shook her head from his stupidity. Ron shined the light in Dean's direction.
"DON'T MOVE, SCUMBALL!"
"Ron, you do know that this is just a game, right?"
"Well yeah, but I wanna do it the right way. Now," he flashed the light directly in Dean's eyes, "DID YOU KILL HERMIONE?"
"Nope, but I think you should check scar-head over there. There's weird sounds coming from him."
Ron turned and shined the light on Harry, only to see that Harry had fallen fast asleep, and he wasn't faking it. Harry then started to talk in his sleep.
"No, mama, I don't wanna eat the broccoli...I'd much rather have the spinach please," and he started to suck his thumb, "Mmmm...that's the best spinach I ever tasted. Can I have some more, please?"
"Well, I'm now scarred for the rest of my fucking life," Ron grimaced, "So if Harry's asleep, then he can't be the murderer, which leaves Ginny and Luna left..."
Just then, the phone started ringing, and Hermione jumped up from her "dead" state and ran to go answer it.
"I'll get it!"
"HERMIONE!" Ron called, "GET YOUR WHITE SMARTASS BACK IN HERE! Man, I've always wanted to say that...but anyways...YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD GOD DAMMIT!"
"Oh, quit your yelling! I'll be back in a sec! Besides, whaddaya need me for? I'm the one who's dead."
"Hmm...good point. Okay, time out. I'm bored."
Hermione picked up the phone and pressed the talk button.
Meanwhile, at Malfoy Manor...
Draco and Goyle had decided to do prank calls. Draco was on the phone.
"Hello, is your refrigerator running?"
"Yeah, it is. Why?"
"WEELLL YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!" Goyle shouted into the phone. He and Draco started cracking up.
"Fucking idiots..." Hermione grumbled as she hung up the phone.
Blaise Zabini was over at the mansion. He only glared at Draco and Goyle.
"That was the lamest prank call I've heard all night," he remarked.
"Damn, Malfoy, that was the coolest prank call I've heard all night!" Goyle laughed.
"Thanks mate," Draco said, "Alright, we're gonna prank call The Minister of Magic next. He got a phone, right?"
"Well DUH! He's one of the richest ones here in London!"
"Excuse me while I go read to boost my IQ," Blaise said as he walked away, "I feel like a fucking retard when I'm near you two."
Back at The Burrow (9:01 P.M.)
"Who was it?" Ron asked.
"It was the tax guy," Hermione said sarcastically.
"Oh...that explains why you hung up..."
"No, it was Draco and Goyle. They decided to do prank calls again."
"Oh...Well you better wake up Harry before he starts dreaming about eating cheeseburgers."
"Why? What's so bad about that?"
"Let's just say you'll need a mop and a bunch of buckets to clean up the drool..."
"Oh hell no. AYE! HARRY WAKE UP!"
She kicked Harry, but he stayed asleep while sucking his thumb.
"Ginny, I need you for this..."
"Yay!" Ginny yelled out, and she scooted over next to Harry. Harry rolled over and hugged Ginny, and she hugged him back, feeling very happy. Luna waved her hand up and down at Hermione while still looking at Harry and Ginny.
"Hermione! Hermione! Go get your camera! This is priceless!"
"I lent you my camera a month ago..."
"Oh yeah...never mind then!"
"Oooh! I got an idea!" Dean suggested, "Hey Harry, Ron says you're a bitchy no good faker!"
Dean's taunt didn't work; Harry was still asleep.
"Well he's down for the count," Hermione noted. "I guess you can get up now Ginny. Ginny? GINNY!"
But Ginny had fallen fast asleep as well, wrapped in the arms of her Scar-headed hero.
"Awww great...just great!" Hermione groaned, "Now what the hell are we supposed to do?"
"How about we watch a movie?" Luna asked.
Ron opened the video cabinet, and began shuffling through movies.
"Alright we got Barbie and Swan Lake, Harry Potter..."
"Which Harry Potter?" Dean asked.
"Like it fucking matters! Fullmetal Alchemist, Pokémon the movie, Never been kissed, Transformers, Spiderman, The Grudge, Buns of Rock Porno...wait what?"
"Uh...Charlie got me that for my birthday, remember?" Hermione said, her ears reddening, "It would be rude to throw it away!"
"Okay...NEXT! White Chicks, The Notebook, Dear John, Scooby Doo, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Night at the Museum 1 and 2...y'all know you can stop me any time, right?"
"We know," Luna said.
"Anyways...I-Robot, The Pursuit of Happiness, The Karate Kid remake, Looney Tunes Back in Action..."
He paused over a movie titled Harry Potter: The Animated Series, which was a cartoon version of Adventures at Hogwarts.
"What?" Hermione looked at the movie cover. "Hold up, he has his own movie and I don't? BUT I'M SOOOO MUCH HOTTER THAN HIM! Life is cruel..."
"Let's watch it and make fun of all the bitchy special effects!"
"Ronald, it's an ANIMATED movie. There ARE no special effects!"
"Whatever, let's make fun of it anyways!"
"Well," Luna said after they watched the movie, "Now with that laughing stock over with, what else can we do?"
"Well, we never finished our Truth or Dare game," Dean said.
"Fine. Whatever." Ron said.
So the four of them sat down in a circle.
"Well, without Harry or Ginny, I guess Ron goes first," Hermione said.
"Yay! Okay, 'MIONE! Truth or Dare?"
"Okay...um...I dare you to lick Dean!"
"Now, that is the most stupidest thing I've heard all night! But alright," and she licked her finger and wiped it across Dean's face.
"EWWWW! GROSS!" Dean cried out as he wiped off the spit and placed it on Harry.
"Hey! No fair 'Mione! That's cheating!"
"You told me to lick Dean, so I licked my finger and transferred the lick to him."
"Luna, Truth or D-"
"Um...OH! I have a great idea for a game you guys! But first, Luna finish your turn by getting the duck tape."
"Whatever," Luna replied as she got up to get the duck tape.
"Hermione..." Dean asked cautiously, "What are you thinking?"
"Don't worry. It's perfectly safe. Except when you rip it off."
She began snickering. Dean and Ron gulped and looked at each other with frightened looks on their faces.
What's Hermione thinking about now? What will happen to Dean and Ron next?
Will Harry and Ginny wake up?
All this and more in the next update!
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