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Chapter 20 : 20. Imagine
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It was all so odd. I was so cold - freezing - but at the same time sweating. I tried to get a grip of myself, but my hands were trembling so much that it made it difficult to even concentrate on anything longer than for one second. The pains came and went, slowly becoming more and more unbearable to deal with. You'd think that'd be impossible, but I had grown used to it by now. And everytime another contraction hit me, I automatically clenched my teeth, huffing and puffing, as I squeezed Mr R's hand numb.
But he never said a word of it.
Goose, on the other hand, was pacing restlessly beside me, whimpering like a hurt animal. Apparently, all my screaming, huffing and puffing made him even more restless.
"I-is it getting painful?"
I glared at him from under my dark hair, panting. "No, this is a real walk in the bloody park," I growled, slumping against the elevator wall.
He slowly freed himself from my grip, rubbing his hand carefully. His eyes were locked on me, as I sat on the floor, trembling. "I'm so sorry you're in this situation - I never wanted any of this to happen to you..."
I stared at him, slightly offended. "I have no regrets," I grunted, trying to sit up straight. "I don't regret having this baby, I don't--"
"I didn't mean that," he cut off sharply. "I meant... I never wanted you to experience such pain."
I continued to stare at him, alreayd ready with a witty comeback. I never got to say it though, as a new kind of pain fille dmy entire body. It was like a cramp, a reflex, and I felt my entire body grow rigid of pain. I grabbed Mr R's hand - even if I hated myself for doing so - and whimpered through gritted teeth.
"Don't think about this situation," he said helpfully, his voice oddly calm. "Think about... I don't know, think about... Susan, where do you want to be?"
"I can't do this, I can't do this," I cried, tears of pain running down my face. "I'm s-so scared...!"
"Your mind can take you anywhere, anywhere you wish to be," Mr R told me, trying to catch my gaze. "Now, where do you want to be?"
I met his piercing gaze, slowly calming down, as I gasped for air. "On t-the beach," I breathed, blinking. "On the beach with Sirius."
"Good, good," he said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "You're doing excellent, sweetheart..." he told me, nodding. "You're on the beach with Sirius, and...? And what else, Susan?"
I swallowed, smiling faintly, as I took another deep breath. "We're walking, just the t-two of us... a-and... and we're h-happy. So very happy... we're together, just w-walking..."
Before I knew it, I was crying my heart out on the floor.
"There, there," Mr R murmured, patting my shoulder. "You're doing so well, sweetheart..."
"I miss him so much," I sobbed, trying to brush my tears away. "I don't want to do this alone! HE SHOULD BE HERE WITH ME!"
"You can tell him that later," he said.
"N-no... no, I can't..." I said, feeling dizzy. "I... I don't f-feel too... good..."
My eyes felt extremely heavy, and suddenly, Mr R's voice was very far away, so deep and soothing.
"SUSAN!" I heard him call, his voice slowly disappearing. "DON'T DO THIS! YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ME!"
Next time I opened my eyes, it felt like someone had given me an electric shock. This time, I was eye to eye with Em, who jogged beside me.
"Em?" I gasped, trying to get up.
"STAY STILL, WE ARE SOON THERE!" someone called, and I looked around to see two Healers wheel me down a corridor.
"W-where am I?"
"St. Mungo's," Em said, her face twisted with worry. "You're going to give birth now, Suze!"
I stared at her, as if she was a complete idiot. Asd if I didn't know that already?
"Where is h-he?" I looked around in panic. "Where is he!?"
"Who, Theo?" Em said, as we dashed into a delivery room.
"DAD! WHERE IS MY DAD!? I WANT MY DAD, EM!" I roared, as the Healers wrestled me back down.
"I'll get him at once!" Em said, hurrying out.
Sweeping in at the same time as Em ran out came Flow. Right behind her, I noticed, came Kadhi, who looked delighted.
I thought she'd got the hint when I didn't show up for her Perfect Birth class anymore. What the heck was that blasted cow doing here!?
"Fill me in," Flow said calmly, as she reached my side. "Hi, sweetie," she said, giving my hand a squeeze.
I never got to greet her back, before I already wailed in pain.
"Water broke an hour and a half ago, she's dialated 10cm, she passed out of the pain in the elevator earlier, but we got her stabilized now," one of the Healers said. "She's not due yet, though, what should we do?"
"This baby is coming out, ready or not," Flow said firmly. "We just have to to be ready."
"Fee-eel the positive energy enter, fee-eel the negative energy leave, fee-eel the--"
I glared at her, deeply enraged, just as Mr R stormed in, followed by Theo and Em. "Get - the - fuck - out - or - I - will - stuff - you - with - negative - energy!" I growled through my teeth.
"I think you should leave," Flow simply said, and Kadhi escaped the room as fast as humanly possible.
"Okay, who are all these people?" Flow demanded, eyeing the full room. "I have to ask anyone who doesn't need to be here to leave - NOW!"
Wow, she looks pretty cross.
An uproar fills the room, all three of my supporters - more or less - start arguing who has the biggest right to be there.
"I'M THE FATHER!" Theo and Mr R call out, and everyone looks at them. Flow raises her brows, as she realizes who Mr R is. "Well, not that child, obviously," he quickly corrects, vaguely gesturing in the direction where Flow is sitting. "But--"
"ENOUGH!" I roar, my face probably as red as Flow's nails. "YOU!" I say, pointing at Mr R. "STAND THERE AND SHUT UP - DO NOT TALK, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!" I scream at him, gesturing him to stand against the wall. "AND YOU TWO!" I go on, turning my furious glare at Theo and Em.
"Y-yes?" Em said, her voice breaking.
Before I could even utter another word, a new kind of pain hits me, and Flow spreads my legs. Both Em and Theo grab my hands, breathing with me.
"I can see the head!" Flow calls over the screaming. Theo, being the idiot he is, made the mistake to take a peek, and quickly returns to my side, looking close to throwing up.
"What has been seen cannot be unseen..." he managed to get out, before fainting.
"Wussy," Em sneered, turning her attention back to me. "One more push, Susie!"
"I CAN'T!" I wailed, slumping against the pillows.
"Come on, Susan," Flow urged. "The boy needs air, you have to push one - more - time!"
"Come on, push!" Em pleaded, close to tears.
"I... I c-can't..." I siad faintly, blinking.
"You have to," I hear Mr R murmur, as he moved closer. "For Sirius, yeah?"
I stared at him for a short moment, before letting Em help me up again. "Just one more push?" I gasped, looking directly at Flow.
"One more," Flow assured me.
And with that, I pushed. I pushed with all my strength, all my might. My throat was already hurting and aching so badly from all the screaming, but I didn't care anymore.
I had to be strong, I had to be strong for this precious baby I loved dearly.
And then, all of the sudden, the room was filled with a baby's cry. I gasped, and fell against the pillows again. I had doen it, I had done it - it was over now.
And then I saw him; the most precious little baby I had ever seen. I reached out for him, as Flow gently tucked him in a blanket. She put him in my arms, and he fit my arms so perfectly. I was speechless; he was so tiny, so perfect, so... precious. His dark hair was messy and thick, and I felt a tired smile tug at the corners of my lips, as the screaming baby slowly calmed down, and opened his brilliant eyes to gaze at me.
"Hi, you," I said, touching his nose with my finger.
"He has your eyes," I heard Mr R murmur next to me, and I looked reluctantly away from my baby. "He's so beautiful."
"Thank you," I whispered, smiling. The smile wasn't there for long; before I knew it, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I fell into darkness.
It was over now.
A/N: So, Sweden is calling me tomorrow! I hope you all have a wonderful week, and enjoy the story :)
- Lily xxx
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