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Chapter 3 : Merlin Must Hate Me
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But on the inside it was a different story. Every night, when she thought Madison and I were asleep she would turn on the shower and cry, hoping the running water would drown out her cries. At first, I tried knocking on the door so she would let me in but she never did. So eventually I gave up. I just tried to sleep through, the shower being my lullaby.
Gabrielle seemed so convinced that she was better that she even was going to go to the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff match, which was the first match that she wouldn't be torn between having to cheer for Scott or her own house.
"Come on!" She yelled at Madison. "We have to get to breakfast before the game!"
"Hold on!" Madison said, as she slipped Aaron's Quidditch jacket on. It had his number and last name printed across the back in gold, going against the maroon back. Madison ran a brush through her hair. "Alright, I'm ready."
"About time," Gabrielle said. "I don't know why you need to look so cute anyway, you already have a boyfriend."
"Yes, well I like looking nice for my boyfriend," Madison said, irritably. Gabrielle had been giving Madison a hard time about having a boyfriend, almost as if it was Madison's fault she didn't have a boyfriend.
"Yes but you don't need to look better than everyone else!" Gabrielle said. "Honestly, you look far better than Victoire and I do and we actually need to get boyfriends."
"I don't need a boyfriend," I said as we sat down with Jason, Aaron, and Michael.
"Gabrielle going on about how you need a boyfriend again?" Jason asked from next to me.
"Yep," I said. "It's getting really annoying. She's also been on Madison's case because she has a boyfriend."
"Well at least she isn't crying anymore," he said, putting his arm around me.
I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. "I guess that's true."
I was glad that Gabrielle wasn't visibly upset about the break up anymore, I really was. It meant that she was getting better. But lately she's just been...annoying. She's been picking fights with Madison over Aaron, saying how Madison doesn't do enough for him or how they don't kiss enough or that Madison needs to stop rubbing it in mine and her faces about the fact that she has a boyfriend, which Madison doesn't do already. She's happy with Aaron and never does anything to rub it in my face that she has a boyfriend and I don't. So that's annoying. And then she's been telling me how I need to get a boyfriend, or at least have my first kiss, and how I can't get them if I'm a tomboy like I am. She's tried making me wear more make up than I feel comfortable wearing and has tried to convince me to do something, curl or straighten, really anything, with my wavy hair.
She was actually being insulting, saying that a boy could never like me for who I was.
That hurt a lot.
She even tried to stop me from being a klutz, just like my mother had.
"Aww, you two are so cute!" Gabrielle said across from me. "Jason, you should ask Victoire on a date."
Jason looked over at Michael, who wasn't looking at us. He pulled his arm off me and I lifted my head. Although I didn't like Michael like that, he was still one of my best friends and I didn't want to hurt him.
"Nah," Jason said. "Victoire is too much of a sister to me."
"See, Tor, that's you're problem," Gabrielle said. "You are always just a sister, just one of the guys to everyone. You need to become more feminine."
"Gabs, I don't walk around with a super short hair cut and wearing overalls," I said. "I'm not a total tomboy."
"But you barely wear any make up," she said, in a whining tone. "And you don't even know how to flirt with a boy."
"Well not all of us can be boy experts like you," I said, smiling to cover up how annoyed I was.
"But honestly, Victoire, I know that you are a beautiful girl on the inside, but we need to make sure you're beautiful on the outside too," she said, not even understanding what how she just insulted me.
She just called me ugly.
The part Veela is getting called ugly.
That’s extremely ironic.
"Hey, Gabs, come on," Jason said. "Tor is pretty, now stop nagging on her."
"Jason, you sure you don't have a crush on her?" Gabrielle said. "You appear to be defending her a lot today and calling her pretty. Just ask her out, please?"
"He's not going to ask me out so stop trying!" I snapped at her.
"Well then, let's see who we can get to ask you out," she said, looking around the Great Hall.
"Gabrielle, don't," I said, looking at Michael. He looked up from his food and made eye contact with me and I mouthed a "Sorry" to him. He shrugged, because he knew that it wasn't my fault. Jason had told him that I knew, so things weren't that awkward between us anymore, but I still felt bad.
He was a good guy.
I wish I could fall for him. But he's too much of a brother to me.
"Hmm, well let's see," she said, looking over at the Ravenclaw table. "There's Andy Adams, Dennis Crawford. A reach for you would be Chase Roberts, although I would have no trouble getting him. But he's not exactly into your type."
"Excuse me?" I said, defensively. "What do you mean 'my type'?"
"Well, girls like you," Gabrielle said simply. "Girls that aren't...well girly. Girls that would rather hang out with the boys than have a girl’s night. They only wear jeans and tee shirts or sweatshirts, only wearing a skirt because the dress code enforces it. They aren't super pretty, but they would be if they tried. However, they don't. They don't flirt and are just awkward around boys who they aren't close to. Which no offense, but you are."
She smiled at me like she was helping me, but she wasn't. Michael and Jason were the only two listening, since Madison and Aaron were talking to some sixth years about the Quidditch game.
And, okay, so I'm not the best with boys. So I get all awkward and can barely speak to boys that I find attractive but does that matter? Because once I'm comfortable around them they can't shut me up.
"I don't mean to sound mean but he's way out of your league," she said, patting my hand lovingly. She looked around the room a bit more. "Most boys in this room are I'm afraid."
"Are you fucking me?" I asked her, getting more and more pissed off.
I'm a 15-year-old tomboy, not some sort of troll. I'm sure that some boy would be in my league, thank you very much.
"Tor, don't get so upset," she said, acting as if I had no right to be upset. "It's not your fault, it's the way you were raised. Your family is basically all males, so it makes sense that you would have a harder time in the love department."
"You do realize," I said, upset that she brought my family into this. No one touches my family. "That majority of my family saved the Wizarding World? And that my Aunt Ginny was the only girl in a family of seven and that she managed to have many boyfriends?"
"Yes, but that's your Aunt Ginny," Gabrielle said. "Not you. She is a little bit girly, while you barely have a feminine bone in your body. You never wear make up beyond mascara, you never do anything with your hair, and you would rather watch a Quidditch match then do anything else. Hell, you'd rather play Quidditch than go shopping and you can barely fly! You watch out for your little twirp cousins more than anything and you hang out in sweats when you don't have to wear your school uniform! Honestly, your family was basically asking you to not have a boyfriend by raising you that way. It's not your fault Tor."
"Don't you dare," I said, quietly, suppressing my urge to yell. As part Werewolf, part Veela, and full Weasley, it was very hard to keep my temper in check, and everyone knew that. Jason rubbed my shoulder, trying to calm me down. "Bring my family into this."
"Oh, Tor, calm down," Gabrielle said. "Your temper is another bad quality. No boy wants to deal with it."
"Well, I'm sorry that I'm part Werewolf, part Veela, and a Weasley," I said, holding onto the bench, as a way to realize my anger. It wasn't working very well though. "I don't have very good control over it."
Gabrielle just shook her head. "Well, it's just another reason for a boy not to like you."
Michael was looking at her like she was insane. "She shouldn't want to be with a boy who wouldn't want to deal with her temper. And who doesn't like the fact that she is a tomboy and looks after her family so well. Also, the fact that she likes Quidditch is something most guys dream about. No one wants a girl who would just complain or make them miss a game. Back off her, Gabrielle, she's great the way she is."
Gabrielle gave him a questioning look with a smirk on her face. "Well why don't you date her then? Since you like those qualities so much more than the girly girl qualities."
Michael locked his jaw and I could tell that he thought that Gabrielle was teasing him because of his crush on me. I squeezed the bench harder, trying to keep my temper in check and not lose it.
"Well go on," Gabrielle said. "Ask her."
"Gabrielle!" I said, finally losing my temper. "Stop. Stop telling him to ask me out, stop trying to set me up. Stop telling me to change myself and that I need to find a boyfriend. We're 15, for Merlin's sake, do you think anyone is going to care who you date or don't date now? Just stop Gabrielle. I'm not going to change anything about myself, because I like myself the way I am most of the time. But thank you, for pointing out all my insecurities and making me feel like I could never get a boy to like me. I'm sorry that I am not you, that I'm not your definition of 'girlfriend material' but honestly, I don't give a fuck. I am who I am. Maybe this is why Scott dumped you, because you were trying to change him into something he isn't. Stop being such a bitch. You got dumped, okay. I let you cry; I was there for you and will continue to be there for you. But I will not sit here and have you tell me everything that's wrong with me. I let you do it for a few days because I figured that it would only last that but I'm fed up. Stop criticizing. Stop giving Madison hell for having a boyfriend just because you lost your boyfriend and are jealous of her. " I got up from the bench. "Move on. This is getting ridiculous. You seem to be taking all your anger at Scott out on us. We didn't dump you. But now I'm starting to understand more and more why he did."
And with that, I walked out of the Great Hall. I walked down a corridor until I was alone.
And then I let my temper out.
I found a wall with no pictures and punched it, and continued doing so until my hand started bleeding.
"Fuck!" I screamed, and held my hand, trying to push the blood down.
"Hitting a wall is really the worse way to get out your temper," I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and saw Teddy standing there, in his Quidditch uniform.
"Yeah well I didn't really have another option," I said, trying not to let the pain show.
"Let me see it," he said, walking over to me. He grabbed my hand and examined it and I tried to ignore the butterflies that were in my stomach. I hated how even though he's known me since I was born, I still have this happen to me every time he touches me. "We should probably bandage this up. Let's go to the locker rooms down at the pitch, I can bandage it there."
"Why don't we just go to the Hospital Wing?" I asked him, but walked along side him toward the front doors.
"I always get annoyed telling the nurse that I lost my temper again," Teddy said, holding the door open to me. "Because she looks at me, telling me that I should be able to control it and that makes me even more pissed off. They should try being a half werewolf around the full moon."
"Is it a full moon soon?" I asked him. That would explain why I've been pissy lately, I thought I was just PMSing.
"Yep," he said. "It's next week. So you've probably been pretty angry too."
I opened the door to the locker room. "You have no idea."
"It doesn't help that you're a Weasley too," Teddy said, smiling at me as he got the first aid kit and motioned for me to sit down on the bench. I sat with on leg on each side of the bench, knowing that Gabrielle would be horrified that I wasn't sitting like a girl. "Those tempers are just as bad, if not worse."
"You forgot part Veela," I said, giving him my hand to wrap when he sat down across from me, in the exact same position I was in. "Feeling every emotion strongly seems to be the only Veela trait I possess."
"What do you mean?" Teddy said, holding my hand steady and he cleaned my hand. I winced a little at the stinging.
"Just that I'm not like all the other Veelas," I said, shrugging and watching his hands wrap mine in bandages. "I don't capture the attention of every male in the room and I'm not beautiful."
"You're kidding me right?" Teddy said, looking at me in the eyes. "Vic, you're beautiful. I've never seen someone more beautiful than you."
I blushed and butterflies appeared as he said that. Teddy thought I was beautiful. "You've known me since I was a baby, Ted, of course you think I'm beautiful. You know me better than I know myself."
"It's not just me that thinks that," he said, his chocolate brown eyes meeting mine. "Most of the guys in my dorm think that you're one of the hottest girls in school. The only reason they don't go after you is because I told them that I would kick their asses if they did."
"Really?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he said. He didn't drop my hand although he was done bandaging it. "Who told you you weren't beautiful?"
"No one," I said. "It was nothing."
"Don't lie to me Vic," he said, squeezing my hand. "I get the feeling that you beating up the wall has something to do with what that person said."
I looked down at our hands, mine in his. This was Teddy, the guy I've known since I was a kid. He wouldn't judge me.
"My friend just got dumped," I said quietly. "And she's been upset over it. And for some reason she's been taking it out on me." I remembered her words and I realized how much they hurt me. "She's been saying how I need to get a boyfriend and how I need to try to be more girly. And today, for some reason it was worse. " A tear fell out of my eyes and I wiped it away. "She was looking around the Great Hall, trying to find boys to set me up with but she said most of them were out of my league because I wasn't girly. I'm a tomboy and would rather play or watch Quidditch than go shopping. I would rather hang out with my family than my friends. I would rather hang out in sweats and no make up than be all dressed up all the time." More tears fell down my face but I didn't wipe them away. Teddy didn't move, he sat there, staring at me in the eyes, listening to every word I said. "Nobody would ever want to deal with my temper because I should be able to control it. And then she blamed the family for why I am this way. She told me that I would have to stop being a klutz. She told me that I don't wear enough make up and that I should do something with my hair instead of leaving it how it is. She took every single insecurity I have about myself and put it all out there for me to see and deal with." I took a deep breath and wipped. "She told me that I wasn't pretty because I don't do anything with my hair and make up. She said that while I'm beautiful on the inside, I wasn't even close on the outside." I was full on crying now, realizing just how hurt I was by her words.
She was my best friend and she was saying all this to me.
"Come here Vic," Teddy said, releasing my hand in order to pull me to him. I cried into his shoulder as he rubbed my back.
We stayed like that for a while, me crying and him holding me, just rubbing my back.
Teddy was more of a friend to me than most of my actual friends were.
"Sorry about that," I said, once I calmed down a little and pulled out of the hug.
"Don't be," he said. "But listen to me." He grabbed either side of my face and made me meet his eyes. Out of everything about Teddy, his eyes were my favorite. He never changed them, he always left them chocolate brown. He could have bright pink hair and a pig nose but his eyes would always be chocolate brown. "Everything she said to you was a lie," Teddy whispered to me.
"You don't have to do this," I told him.
"I know," he said. "But I want to."
He seemed to be waiting for me to give him some sort of sign to let him know that it was okay to continue. I nodded.
"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, Vic," Teddy whispered. "You're beautiful on the inside and even more so on the outside. The fact that you can wear sweats and no make up and still be the best looking girl in the room, just shows how beautiful you are. I've never seen a teenage girl love and care for her family as much as you do. You're the oldest cousin and yet you play with your cousins who are only toddlers, when most teenagers would push them away. Your love for Quidditch is intoxicating and even though you can't play for your life, watching a game with you is better than watching a game with your entire family combined. You know the in's and out's of the game and you shout at the ref more than Ron does, which is hard to do. You have a temper on you, there's no doubting it. But you are such a fighter and always lose your temper on things that matter and will fight until the end to get what you what. You don't even realize the effect you have on blokes at this school." His thumb wiped some new tears that had formed away and he held my face like I was the most delicate thing on the planet. "Most guys are fighting for your attention and you look at them as strictly friends. I've heard more disturbing conversations about you than I ever wanted to hear." He leaned his forehead against mine. "You don't need to change anything about you because you are the purest and most beautiful girl I have ever met. Any guy would be lucky to have you, Victoire."
He used my full name. He never uses my full name, it's always Vic. He only used my full name when he was trying to make a point or when he really meant something.
I hit my nose with his. "Thank you," I whispered to him.
He smiled and moved his thumb across my cheek. "Anything for you."
We both became aware of how close we were. My lips suddenly felt dry, so I moved my tongue along them, Teddy watching the entire time.
Slowly, Teddy leaned down, very, very slowly, as if making sure I didn't punch him in the gut because I didn't want to kiss him.
Oh my god, Teddy was going to kiss me.
What do I do?!
Where do I put my hands?!
Shoulders! That's a good place! I think!
I moved my arms to be put my hands on his shoulders and Teddy froze, barely and inch from my lips, thinking I was going to push him away. To tell him I wasn't, I put them around his neck and shut my eyes.
I heard him sigh and felt him get closer to me. I could feel his breath getting closer and closer and soon his mouth was going to be on mine.
I was going to have my first kiss. With Teddy. The guy I've been crazy about since I was 2.
Let's just say that my stomach is currently holding all of the butterflies in the entire world.
But right before his lips met mine, the door opened.
Fuck my life.
"So what was going on with you and Lupin?" Jason asked me that night at the Victory Party in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Nothing," I said.
"Totally looked like nothing," Michael said. "Come on Tor, I even like you and I'm willing to admit to seeing you kissing another boy. The least you can do is admit it."
I shook my head. "Nothing happened!"
"Yeah that really looked like nothing," Michael said, laughing.
"Michael, I thought you liked me?!" I said. "Aren't you supposed to be trying to woo me and getting jealous every time you see me flirting with another boy?!"
"Eh, I guess I don't like you that much," he said, laughing at me. "Actually, I figure that I may as well try getting over you, since I highly doubt that you'll like me."
"I'm sorry Michael," I said. "I could try!"
"I don't need you to try," he said. "Besides, it's clear that you and Lupin have something going on and I would hate to screw that up!"
"There's nothing going on!" I said.
"Whatever you say Tor," Michael said, taking a drink. "Whatever you say."
"Toire," I heard a small voice say and I felt something, pulling on my pants. I looked down and saw James, in his PJs.
"James," I said, getting down on my knees to match his height. He was pretty short for 11, but most of the Weasley family was, only to hit their growth spurt in 3rd year. That's what happened to me. "What are you doing down here, it's nearly midnight! You should be in bed."
"I know," James said. "But I had a bad dream and I went to Teddy's dorm and I couldn't find him, so I came down here looking for him."
"Oh, James what was the dream about?" I asked, reaching out to pull him closer so I could still here him over the loud party noises.
"Voldemort," he said quietly. "He came back and he got everyone, you, Teddy, Daddy, Mommy, Lily, Albus, everyone. And there was a basilisk and he was trying to kill you all and I had to go through the maze to save you all and I-I couldn't."
When James, Freddy and Dom all got their letters to come to Hogwarts, they had been sat down and told the story of what our parents had done. Not just parts of it, all of it. It had scared Dom and Freddy really badly, but they had gotten over it. James on the other hand was fine when they first told him and it wasn't until he got to Hogwarts that he started having the nightmares. At first he would have them every single night and wake up screaming and would only calm down if I slept in the same bed as him and promised to protect him and if Teddy would sleep on the ground and promise to protect both of us. It was really unusual for James to be so afraid of something, he was normally a fearless wonder, which is why he was in Gryffindor, but the idea of Voldemort taking everyone he loved away from him scared him more than anything.
"Do you want me to come up and stay in your dorm with you?" I asked him. He nodded. I grabbed his hand and turned to face Michael and Jason. "Well, I got to go."
"What, why?" Jason said.
"Family stuff," I said. "Bye guys. Don't drink to much!"
We walked through the party, James leading. We almost made it up to his dorms when he pointed in a different direction and said, "Teddy!"
He let go of my hand and ran into a crowd.
"James!" I said, running after him and trying not to trip. "James, come back!"
Of course, because I am me and Merlin seems to hate me, I tripped.
"Ow!" I said, as someone kicked my head, shutting my eyes in pain.
"Toire!" I heard and opened my eyes to see James standing there and Teddy crouched down beside me. "Are you okay?"
"I think so," I said, getting into a sitting position. "Don't run off like that, James. I don't think your mother would ever forgive me if something happened to you."
"You sure you're okay Vic?" Teddy asked me. "You were on the ground for a while."
"I'm fine, some idiot just kicked my head," I said.
"Are you sure you don't have a concussion?" Teddy asked.
"I told you, I'm fi-"
"What's going on over here?" Gabrielle said as she crouched down next to Teddy.
"Vic hit her head," Teddy said.
"I told you, Ted, I'm fine," I said. "I'll just bring James back up to bed."
"Come on, she said she's fine," Gabrielle said to Teddy. Since when do they know each other? "Let's go back and dance babe."
What the fuck is going on?!
I looked at Teddy with a questioning look but he just avoided my gaze.
"Are you Teddy's girlfriend?" James asked Gabrielle.
I raised my eyebrows in Teddy's direction, but he was looking at everything but me.
He was going to kiss me earlier right? That wasn't just my imagination?
Maybe I did have a concussion.
"Not yet," Gabrielle said with a smile in Teddy's direction. Finally Teddy met my gaze.
I'm sure my face was nothing but hurt and confusion. And he seemed to want to say something to me but couldn't.
"James, let's get you upstairs," I said to James, standing up and taking his hand.
"Vic, let me come with you," Teddy said.
"No," I said, not wanting to be alone with him. "It's fine. I can take care of my cousin by myself."
"No, I want to come," Teddy said, pleading with me.
"It's fine," I said. I looked at Gabrielle who was talking to someone else now. "Have fun with your girlfriend."
"Vic..." Teddy said, but I turned around and started walking before he could say anything else.
When James and I reached his dorm he got straight into his bed, but I went to check on Freddy first. He was fast asleep, unaware that his best friend and cousin had gone on an adventure without him. I went over to James' bed and put a growing charm on it so it could fit the two of us before I climbed in.
"Nothing will hurt you, James," I said. "I'll protect you."
"I wish Teddy was here," he said. "Because then he could protect you."
There was a moment of silence where I thought he fell asleep.
"I don't like his girlfriend," James said quietly.
"And why is that?" I asked him, not wanting to talk about Gabrielle and Teddy.
"Because she's not you," James said, yawning. "I think you and Ted should get married."
I smiled at that. It wasn't like James to say something like that.
"Just go to sleep, James," I said. "I love you."
"I love you too, Toire."
A/N: I'M SO SORRY. I'm just getting back into this story and will try to update it quickly!! I enjoy this story and have an entire outline of what will happen.
So?? What did you think??? Not updating since September isn't a good thing as it's now February. But I promise to write this!
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