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Near to You by EverDiggory
Chapter 1 : Near To You
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 2

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He and I had something beautiful

But so dysfunctional

It couldn't last

I loved him so

But I let him go

'Cause I knew he'd

Never love me back



“ I’m so sorry,but I just can’t be with you anymore. It has to be over between us,” I whispered. His grey eyes seemed distant. Unconnected. My heart panged with grief, and the guilt sank into my gut. I felt the need to chew on my nails, as I waited for his reaction.


“Why?” he asked through clenched teeth.


The way he looked at me made me want to fall to my knees and cry. A tear slipped down my cold cheek, and a whimper escaped my lips. Why would I do this to myself? The pain was almost unbearable, but I knew it had to be done. He ran his hand through his perfect blonde hair, and his already pale skin lightened even more so.


For a moment, I actually considered getting on my knees and begging for his forgiveness. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I had made myself get this far, even though I knew it would tear me apart. I had to do it. For him. For me. I knew deep, deep down, that this would happen, no matter what I did. No matter how hard I tried.


I did try. I had cried, begged, pleaded, and even threatened. I would have given anything for us to work. Us the simple two-letter word made my knees buckle. The guilt was terrible. So terrible, I felt as though it was eating me from the inside out. How I managed to remain standing is a mystery to me.



Such pain as this

Shouldn't have to

Be experienced

I'm still reeling from the loss

Still a little bit delirious.



“I have to, Draco. You..we… You hide us from the world. You haven’t told anyone. Are you ashamed of me? You must be. I thought you were over blood status. I hate hiding you from my family,my friends. I can’t stand it…” I started, trying my hardest to gather my courage in order to finish my desperate pleads, “And you won’t say it.”


“Say what?” he whispered,and the pain in his voice was unbearable. My shoulders started to shake with the sobs. I willed myself to stop,but the pain inside was unbelievable. My chest ached, as I wondered if you could actually die from heartbreak. I felt as though I were dying. He caught my gaze, and his steel grey eyes were filled with the most immeasurable grief.


“ Three words,Draco”. That’s all I need to hear. I will stay if you can just tell me those words,love.”



His silence made my tears flow steadier, and my breath nearly stopped. I counted to 60 in my head,and my patience was wearing thin. My pride was severely bruised, and the hurt he was conflicting with each moment of silence tempted me to cry out in pain. Something was truly bad if your emotional pain was severe sever enough to bring on physical pain.


“I can’t Hermione,” he finally said, and his hands reached out towards me.


The hands I had held a thousand times, and would be happy to hold a thousand times over. The hands that he ran through my hair when we were all alone. The hands he ran through his own blonde hair when he was distraught. The gentle hands that would wipe away my tears when it was just too much to take.


I took a step back, which made my desire to die even stronger.


“If you can’t say it,I can’t be with you. I have to be with someone who can say it to me,Draco. I need to be with someone who can love me. Not keep our relationship a dirty secret,” I whimpered, and turned around.


“Hermione,” he protested,but made no move to stop me from leaving.


I stopped,keeping my back to him. A shaky breath left my lips,and I promised myself that this would be the last time I would ever permit myself to say it. The words that I loved to say. The ones that I wanted to hear.


“I love you,” I finished, and took off,leaving Draco Malfoy alone. The only man I had ever loved.


“Hermione! Hermione!” a voice called for me. I blinked once,twice,again. Ronald was waving his hand in front of my face, his blue eyes full of questions.


“Sorry,Ron. I was just…I was just daydreaming,” I stuttered quickly. My eyes flashed back up to the place where he had been standing.


He stood in front of the fountain at the Ministry, in all of his perfect glory. His blonde hair was neat as always, and he was dressed quite attractively. My eyes traveled down his tall and muscular body, and Ron snapped his fingers.


I shook my head again,dismissing it with the lack of sleep.


“Anyways,Hermione,I was wondering…maybe you want to go out for dinner? Erh, we can do something else you want,but I figured you’d wanna do dinn—“ he started,but I cut him off.


“Dinner sounds great,Ronald.” I smiled. He laughed nervously, and I resisted the urge to shake my head at him. I continued to smile,but when I felt eyes on me,I immediately searched around.


Grey eyes were piercing mine. The same pain I had endured 3 years ago passed through me. The unbearable,undescribable pain that no one should have to experience. My stomach started to do flips, but I knew it wasn’t as bad. Not as bad as it had been the night I had left the man I loved.



Near to you

I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you



A knock on the door to my flat sounded. I jumped up,grabbing my wand a carton of ice cream. I hurried into the tidy kitchen, and hastily put the ice cream into the freezer. I wiped my mouth quickly, and straightened out my shirt.


I wrenched the door open to see a tall redhead,none other then Ronald. He instinctly wrapped his arms around me,picking me up so that me feet were off the ground by a good six inches.


I laughed as he carried me into the living room,and finally putting me down.


“Hello to you too,” I laughed.


He held up a large paper bag,and some movies,his grin was practically from ear to ear. “Movie and Chinese night?” I laughed at him,and kissed his cheek.




You and I have something different

And I'm enjoying it cautiously

I'm battle scarred

I am working oh so hard

To get back to who I used to be



By the time I had the movie set up,and sat down,Ron was was devouring the Chinese food without taking a breath.


He stopped suddenly,and grabbed a box out of the bag. He handed it to me and smiled. He was red as a beet,and I eyed him suspiciously.


“Your favorite,” he explained,looking at me expectantly.


I took a deep breath,and opened the box.


Inside sat a little blue silk box,with a white ribbon wrapped around it. It was rather tiny,yet weighed more then you’d think. I reached in as my breath caught in my throat. I slowly took the lid off of the little box.


Inside was a ring. A silver band ring,with one diamond. It was big,yet not gaudy.

The tears rushed to my eyes,and gushed over quicker then I imagined possible.


“What’d you say ‘Mione? I’ve already asked your dad.” He said,but I didn’t respond. I let the tears fall freely as he continued.


“ I mean,we’ve been friends for 14 years now,and we’ve been officially dating for 10 months now.”


I just nodded,and grabbed his face in my hands.


“I love you Hermione,” he said before I could bring my voice to respond.


I responded by kissing him with as much passion as I could fathom.


Near to you

I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you.

“Promise there won’t be any strippers,” I laughed weakly.


“Of course not,love. Tee minus 26 hours,” he joked. I was soon to be a wife in 26 hours. I had 26 hours left of what I have been for the past 25 years. I had trouble wrapping my mind around that,but I smiled at him.


“I guess the next time I see you will be at the altar.”


“I’ll see you then,” he chuckled,and he was practically glowing. How ironic. I thought it was the bride who was suppose to glow.


“I’ll be the one in white,” I finsished as he kissed me on the cheek.


I watched him intently as he left with Seamus,Harry,Neville,George,and Bill.


I made my way back into the house, attempting to not trip over all of the wedding gifts. They were everywhere; the floor,bookshelves,counters, basically any vacant space.


I sat on the floor in the kitchen, glaring at the wedding dress that had been layed across the dining room.


Now that I was alone for the first time in months,I let myself ponder over the issue that had been poking at the back of my mind since I had left him over a year and a half ago.




I knew he was going to be there. I wish I would have said no when Ron said we should invite everyone from both our departments in the ministry.


What had I been thinking?



I only know that I am

Better where you are

I only know that

I am

Where you are

I only know that

I belong

Where you are


“Speak now,or forever hold your peace,” the preacher called out. I turned ever-so-slightly to keep an eye on the blonde man in the front row. He moved slightly,but Blaise Zabini put a hand on his shoulder. My breath caught for what felt like the hundredth time tonight.


“You may kiss the bride,” the preacher called out,ending any and every chance I ever had to make a life with Draco Malfoy. Even if I knew that it would have never worked out. But I had Ron now.


Near to you

I am healing

But it's taking so long

'Cause though he's gone

And you are wonderful

It's hard to move on

Yet, I'm better near to you.


Even if the pain never did go away, even at the risk if I never truly love Ronald as anything more then a boy I grew up with. Yet,I knew this was the way it must be,because the pain was almost bearable with him around. Almost.


Yet, I'm better near to you.




Author’s notes: So…did you like it?(: I hope so. I apologize if the wedding vows are a bit mixed up,I’ve never been to a wedding. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

The lyrics dont belong to me,they belong to "Fine Frenzy" from the song, "Near to You"!


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