Chapter 16 : 16. Puppy Love
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I have never felt this humiliated. Well, I probably have, but this is a new personal low for me.
I should just hide under a rock and die.
These were the thoughts that ran through my mind, as I walked down the familiar corridor. Familiar faces greeted me, familiar, friendly smiles - until they saw the bump, and new questions obviously popped up. I knew they were too polite to ask directly, but still - their questions were visible on their faces. I was too nervous to meet their curious gazes - or too scared to. Too scared to do so, or I would lose my focus, which was on the door ahead of me.
And too soon did I reach that door.
Somehow, I managed to knock on the door, though. I waited for a moment, before a voice from inside told me to enter. With another deep breath, I entered, unwilliung to look back anymore.
What good would it do, anyway?
The room was just like it was before. Clean and freaky. I took a step closer, until I stood in the middle of the room, facing the last person I thought I would ever feel the need to see.
"Susan," Dr Shaphiro said, getting up from her chair. She looked more surprised than shocked to see me in her office. "What's--"
"Dr Shaphiro," I said slowly, closing the door behind me. "I think... I think I am crazy," I muttered, shaking my head. "Or going crazy. And I don't want to..."
"Dear girl," she said, unfolding her arms. "Please, take a seat, I'll just..." she said, her voice fading away, as she got a better look at my face - and the bump, mind you. "Are you alright, dear?"
The word 'yes' was already ready to be said. For a moment, I just stared at her for the longest time. Then, very slowly, I sat down in the vacant chair, my shoulders slumped. I slowly looked up at her surprisingly worried face, and shook my head.
"No, I don't think I am..."
"This is not normal."
"When has she ever reacted like a normal person?" Em whispered, as she eyed me carefully with Theo - keeping a safe distance, of course.
"That was a rhetorical question, twat!" she snapped, rolling her eyes, just as I reached for another tissue. "What was it this time?"
I let out another sob, hugging the pillow closer. "T-the dog looked so happee-eee!" I wailed, pointing at the telly.
"You bawled your eyes out because of a dog food commercial!?" Theo boomed.
"THE DOG HAD BAD TEETH BUT GOT ALL BETTER BECAUSE OF A MUGGLE INVENTION!"
"I think we should contact Dr Shaphiro," Theo muttered.
"Last time we did that," Em pointed out, shaking her head. "She said it's completely normal at this stage of the pregnancy."
"So you're saying we should just let this go on for another month!?"
"Two," Em corrected. "Two more months, Theo."
As I began to calm down a bit, slowly getting over my sudden mood swing, I started to feel embarrassed. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I said helplessly.
"It's normal," Em said, before Theo could cut in. "Mood swings are normal at this point."
"Like a person who is bipolar," Theo added. "That's normal, too."
Theo was right, though. My mood swings only got more dramatic and extreme by each week. Last week, I had started crying at the park when I saw happy families spend time together. Earlier this week, I started crying at the diaper section, because the babies looked so adorable there.
And now puppies made me have an emotional meltdown.
I still hadn't confronted Mr R, or even planned a revenge. Yes, I hated him. Yes, I found the mere sight of him repulsive. But he had also kind of saved my life - kind of! - and even I had a problem with my conscience. Dr Shaphiro - who I referred to as Dr S - assured me this was normal. She didn't say much, actually. Mostly, she just listened. The few things she did say were stuff like 'Hello, sit down' and 'See you next week'.
And the usual, 'How do you feel about that?' which often had me wailing like a pathetic little kid.
I, on the other hand, had never thought I would talk so much. Mostly, it was just pointless rambling. I blamed the pregnancy, of course. I would never ever in my right mind blurt out stuff to a complete stranger.
But then again, had I not had sex with a complete stranger on a kitchen counter, too?
The due date was set in stone; at the end of August. Theo had me go see Midwife Flow for the smallest thing. I stayed up an entire night because I felt so bloated - yes, I actually shared this piece of information with him - and he had me go see Flow at once. The second time was when I felt a sudden jolt somewhere near my bladder - and I seriously thought I peed a little - and that freaked even me out. Being in my seventh month of pregnancy made me one hell of a time bomb to deal with; not only did I waddle - much to my displeasure! - I also had to deal with lots of strange emotions I had never even known existed in my body or mind.
But I couldn't avoid facts forever. As much as I wanted to, though. Mr R seemed to be in the papers all the time. Apparently, he was splitting up with that Felicia-woman, and for some odd reason she demanded half of his fortune - even if they weren't married. Everyday I opened the Daily Prophet, there was a new picture of them both, and big, screaming headlines like 'MINISTER OF MAGIC SAYS "NO COMMENTS" TO THE SECRET AFFAIR-ACCUSATION' or 'MINISTER OF MAGIC'S SECRET LOVE LIFE EXPOSED!'.
I didn't feel sorry for him.
I hadn't seen Sienna since her last visit. She had promised not to mention a word about my current state - I simply said I didn't want to be a part of the family anymore, that I was starting a new life on my own. She, of course, met Em and Theo, and the Sirius-incident didn't come up anymore after that.
I wonder why...
"I made you some tea," Em murmured, as she placed the cup in front of me.
I stared at it blankly, not hearing a word she said.
"He's the father, isn't he?" Sienna shot, staring at me with her piercing blue eyes. "Isn't he, Suze?"
I stared back at her across the table, unable to speak a word.
"I--" Em began, but was interrupted, as Theo stormed in through the door.
"BIG NEWS!" he announced, slamming the Daily Prophet on the table.
"We have got to start locking that door!" Em growled, trying to shove Theo aside.
"The min--" Theo began, until he noticed Sienna, who stared him as if he was an insect that should be squashed. "Who are you?" he demanded.
"I'm Sienna," she said stiffly, raising her brows. "Susie's sister. And you are...?"
"Theo," he said, shaking her hand cheerfully. "I haven't heard Susie mention you."
"I'm not surprised," Sienna admitted, as I blinked out of my daze. "Who exactly are you?"
A short silence stretched between us, as Sienna eyed me and then Theo again. "I'm--" Theo began, before I jumped in to save the situation.
Or to save myself, actually.
"He's the father," I blurted out, grabbing Theo's hand. "He is."
Another silence followed, as Sienna simply stared at me. Her eyes slowly lowered to my bump, and I saw her make a quick count in her head.
"I'm four months along," I said helpfully.
Another look of confusion appeared on her delicate face, as she put the pieces together. "But... you..."
"We hooked up on my first night here," I said, as Theo simply gaped at me.
Em, on the other hand, looked mortified - she looked like a person who just witnessed a train crash happen, unable to stop it.
"You... you..." Sienna stammered.
"It was..." Theo stammered, swallowing. "Love at first sight. Really. It was."
I closed my eyes, silently praying that Theo would be a better actor.
Fortunately, Sienna was too busy looking at Em, as if it was all her fault. "Is this true?" she demanded.
Em stared at her, horrified by the pressure put on her. "Y-yes," she whispered, nodding. "It was... puppy love."
I glared at her, and she shrugged helplessly. "Yes," Theo said, suddenly pulling me on my feet. I held my breath, as he threw his arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. "It really was... puppy love."
I felt myself vomit a little in my mouth.
Sienna stared at us, before she, too, stood up. She reached for her bag, and bit her lip. "I... I..."
"I really wish you wouldn't mention this... this..." I said, glancing at Theo, who looked oblivious. "Any of this at home," I finally said.
Sienna's eyes moved from me to Theo, and then back to me again. "Of course," she said shortly, nodding. "I understand."
But I knew she didn't understand - she was, afterall, Sienna...
End of Flashback
Of course, we had to explain it all to Theo later - as soon as Sienna had left, which was pretty much immediatly after the awkward incident. I don't even know if she was more upset that I had got myself knocked up by someone I had known for a second, or the fact that it was someone else than Sirius.
Either way, she didn't exactly feel obliged to hang around. But she didn promise to keep it a secret - and for that, I was thankful to her.
They've told me pregnancy can make you do silly things - impulsive things.
No one said that would include impulsive shopping, though.
"Come on," Theo pleaded, as he hurried after me with all the bags. "You cannot be serious!"
"I am," I said, and eyed the precious little thing. "Isn't he cute!?"
Theo followed my gaze, and shook his head. "No."
"Theo, please!" I pleaded, tugging his arm like a little kid. "Please?"
He looked at me once, before groaning. "No," he said more faintly, and I knew I had already won.
Who was he to deny me anything that would make me happy?
"We could name him Goose!" I said excitedly, reaching for the fluffy little creature.
"Or we could leave him unnamed, and return him once you've come to your senses," Theo suggested, as we made our way to the front of the shop.
"The baby would have someone to play with," I fantasized.
"Or the baby would be eaten by the thing," Theo put in. "Just... no."
"Goose won't eat the baby," I said putting the dog on the counter. "Will you, Goose, huh?"
The puppy looked at me with his big, hazel eyes, and whimpered. Theo leaned closer, and stared the dog in the eyes. Soon enough, he let out a sigh, and shook his head. "Susie Q," he said slowly, reaching for his wallet. "I don't know how you do it, but you're going to be the end of me."
"I know!" I said cheerfully, scratching the dog behind his ear.
A dog was exactly what I needed.
A/N: HA! I'm on a roll, baby! >:]
- Lily xxx
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