I know crazy isn’t usually a word that most people associate with Lily Evans. But she is crazy. And I’m in love with her. Every crazy bone in her body. And you know … the other parts that rent bone. Because people have ore than just bone in their bodies.
So yeah. I love Lily.
Obviously, everyone know that I absolutely love Lily to pieces, and everyone must be thinking ‘how is Lily Evans crazy?’ I’m not joking, she is sat here stomping around our dorm screaming at the top of her lungs. And I bet everyone’s thinking that its about exams and how frustrated and tired with them she is. But no. Of course she’s screaming about how frustrated and tired she is, but not with exams and NEWT’s or any other extra stuff shes got going on - she’s perfectly okay with handling all of that - she’s screaming about Adriana Bells and Sirius Black. Our respective best friends.
She wants them together. I want them together. Summer wants them together. Moony wants them together. Everyone wants them together. Hell, even they want to be together.
See were Lil’s frustrations are coming from? They’re not together.
“WHAT IS THE POINT OF THEM!? EITHER BE TOGETHER OR DIE!!” She screamed. Extremely melodramatically and made me look like the rational one of the relationship. We cant have that happen now.
“THEY NEED TO STRIP NAKED IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL TO MAKE THEM BE TOGETHER AGAIN!” I screamed with her and through myself on the floor. Didn’t think that one through, it really hurt! I looked up, pouting at Lily and she simply stared at me.. Before getting up and leaving the dorm.
Ive just noticed. Sat here in the dark with the quid ditch plays all over our bed, that the darkness really affects the way you see when your sat down. I looked up at Ade who was sat on the floor figuring things out with me and saw her squinting her eyes. Maybe she noticed it as well?
“Ade?” I asked her casually,
“Yes Jamie,” She said happily, for some reason sorting through the best and worst quid ditch plays that Gryffindor has ever done made her really happy - well maybe she would make an amazing coach.
“I cant see,” She looked at me dumbfounded, “Because of the dark! Obviously!” I amended, still she looked confused.
“That’s because there are no lights on Jame’” Ade said very monosyllabically as if I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I flicked my want, causing the candles to light up the room - giving us light.
“No I mean, if that was how dark it is inside, then how dark is it outside?” I said, hoping that she’d get what I mean. thankfully, Adriana is a very clever girl.
“And with the increasing number of professional level players coming onto the teams, we could be playing in the dark!” She said, her eyes lighting up with the possibilities.
“And you know, its like four o’clock and its dark!” I bounced happily on my bed!
“Goggles! Put a mini lumos in the goggles!” Ade said happily, looking just as excited as I feel! We were such genius’, like were going down in Quidditch history because of our new product! And its not even me and Pads! Its me and Pads girl!
“Can we call it Prongs and Pad’s Girl?” I asked happily. Of course she shot it down immediately - you know because they’re not together. Oh well done and excuse to bring that up. I promised I’d help Lil you see. She’s going slightly insane…
I didn’t want to just be like, ‘so why aren’t you with my best mate’ you know because it would be really weird and awkward, but also because I know how much this conversation will hurt her. Ade pretends to be the strongest person in the whole school, she was the leader of the Gryffindor Girls and she’s the first girl to get pregnant and still come back to Hogwarts and get A’s and E’s. She thinks that the whole school is relying on her to show them how lives could be led - and of course the Hogwartian Population is extremely interested in her life, she’s Adriana Bells. Long term on-off girlfriend of a Marauader, as well as the only teen mother in the school; of course everyone’s interested in her. But that doesn’t mean she has to give a damn what they think.
To Ade and Sirius, there nothing. Just people that they go to school with. The only ones worth knowing anything about at all are the ones that they are on first name basis with. Fuck the rest.
“He misses you, you know that right,” I told her, losing all sense of jokiness and innocent playfulness. She needed to know this, no matter how much it would hurt.
“James, please…” She pleaded with me, putting her head in her hands and not moving. I wanted to stop and kiss the top of her head and promise her that everything was going to be alright - she’s like my little sister and I will do anything to make sure that she’s okay. And that includes getting her back with Sirius.
“He misses being a family. He loves you Ade, he’ll always love you. You just need to let him show you that, because he will you know. Sirius would do absolutely anything for you, and Summer,” I told her, moving to cradle her up in my arms. I could feel her silent tears soak through my shirt as she leant on my chest. For once letting somebody else take the heavy weight.
I let her cry. I let her get it all out. I let her figure it all out.
“I want it to be the same Jame, I want him to come kiss me good morning. To kiss me at breakfast. To kiss me before and after every lesson. To walk me down the corridor holding my hand, even when his class was the completely different way. I want him to look at me like I’m the most important thing in the world. I want him to be a family. Me and Sum can’t do it alone.”
“You’s are never going to be the same again. Not to be horrible or anything babe, but you have a baby now and too much has happened for you to be innocent teenagers anymore. We all need to grow up, especially you. You’ve got Summer to look after, and I know you can’t do it alone, you need to give him a chance to be the dad Summer deserves and the boyfriend you deserve. Don’t rush this Ade, you know it’ll figure itself out.”
“Love you Jame,”
“Love you too Ade,”
Even after coming to the Shreiking Shack once a month since Third Year, it still completely terrifies me. And I know that all of the rumours about it being haunted by a sociopath ghost are untrue, and all used just to keep people away from it, I still cant get the image out of my head. But its Full Moon night and Sirius and I need to be here for Moony. We try to make it casual you know? So Remus doesn’t have to think to much about what’s going to happen to him, we try to make it a guys night. Just the three of us, like it’s always been. We bond.
“Ask her out?” Remus said, we’re talking about Padfoot’s mess of a love life - if you hadn’t have guessed.
“Ask her out?” Sirius repeated incredulously, as if it was the most bizarre thing in the world.
“Yeah, I’ll look after Summer. You ask Adriana out, and take it slow. Start dating again and don’t stay over at her dorm.” I looked at Remus, I’ve never known him to be like this. Clever with women.
“That’s actually a good idea mate, when we were talking, she was saying how she just wants things to be like they used to be. So start dating again!” I added, looking happily between Remus and Sirius. Maybe things where going to work out.
Remus started twitching then, that’s the first sign of his transformation…
“Tell Tonks I’m okay for me? In the morning I mean? and tell her not to come visit me…” He whispered before leaving for the other room - he hated us watching him transform. But Tonks? As in Nypmhadora Tonks? Sirius’ baby cousin?
I looked at Sirius confused, was there something going on their that we didn’t know about? I thought that immediately Sirius would be protective and worrying over his little cousin, however he just seemed to be confused - just like me. It like recently, we’d been paying too much attention to our own lives and not our best mates; and that hurt you know? Obviously its all our fault, we shouldn’t be so self absorbed and stuff, but Remus was in pretty deep with this girl. Of course he was, she knew his secret. They were in pretty deep and we didn’t even realise it? What kind of best friends are we?
“We’ll sort it tomorrow Prongs, come on mate” Sirius said, obviously feeling as much as a let down as I did. He changed into that big shaggy dog just as the moon rose and Moony howled.
Following suit, I changed into my stag form and walked into the room that held our best mate.
I felt horrible, this month took loads out of Moony you know? And we only stayed in the shack as well; Pads and I fought him all night long - got bitten fair few times as well, it’s a good job that you can’t turn animals into werewolves, or it would have been all three of us losing control once a month and that would just t create havoc for the teachers and the students. I mean, professors struggle to keep us all in line when were human and in control of everything that we’re feeling - if we were werewolves with no control what so ever, well that would just be a nightmare waiting to happen.
Remus was still in the Hospital Wing, and Sirius had gone to fill the girls up on what had happened last night - not the gory details or anything. Just what Rem had told us about Tonks, and where we went on our little adventure. I was going to find Nymphadora Tonks, deliver the message and wait till Sirius finds us so we can intergate her about the shindigs that’s going on with her and our best mate. And of course she wasn’t that hard to find.
A Gryffindor on a Saturday where she’s still not allowed to Hogsmeade because of her age? Yeah, she’s in the common room sprawled out by the fire - just like her older cousin usually does. Saying the password I saluted to the Fat Lady, she started talking to me but I just strode past her so that I wouldn’t lose the train of thought I had going on about Remus. I mean I know that he brought her to the Halloween Party - but I had honestly thought that was only to get her into the party so that she could live up to the reputation her older cousin had set for her. Obviously not. Of course we wound him up about it and stuff - but we’d be absolutely rubbish friends if we didn’t do that. Anyway I thought that would be a party only thing - obviously not.
I was right. Because right there, sprawled out on the sofa in front of the fire, with bed hair and puffy eyes as if she hadn’t gotten any sleep last night was Nymphadora Tonks and her best friend Bill Weasley. I smiled slightly, Tonks and Mooney would actually make a really sweet couple I think. I mean she’s fiery and playful and everything that Moon would need to keep him upbeats on the week leading to the Full Moon. I strode over to the pair and smiled, Tonks looked up at me expectedly, her eyes going wide expectant for information.
“Hey little ones,” I teased, Tonks shook her head
“You’ve got news right?” She said completely sitting up, Bill just looked confused. So he didn’t know the secret.
“News about what?” He said, running his fingers through his bright ginger hair.
“Excuse us for a bit mate, Tonksy and I need to have a chat,” I told the bloke, I had no problem with him - actually I thought that he was a nice guy. But however nice that he may be, he couldn’t know my best mates secret; whether or not he was best mates with the girl that he’s getting on. And he was the only one that mattered to me.
“Tonks?” He asked, really confused. He obviously thought that she was being a bit of a player, first Remus Lupin and then me, James Potter.
“Yeah Bill, I’ll come find you in a bit,” She waved him off so casually, he looked a bit offended, but never the less he left us two to chat. “Tell me, is he okay?” She asked me as soon as he was out of earshot. I grinned, this was going to be so easy.
“Bit eager aren’t you Tonks?” I rasied my eyebrows and slid onto the sofa next to her, casually throwing my arm over her shoulder.
“Can you take me to go see him?” She asked again, ignoring every witty comment that I was making. It was kinda cute, she really liked him. But I couldn’t yet figure out if it was a little school girl crush or full on like him.
“That my darling I can’t do. But I can tell you that he’s okay. Last night was rough but he’s getting better- and you should just wait until he comes to see you. Which I’m sure he will” I told her and just waited for some sort of reaction, I mean she is a Black by blood - drama is their thing.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T GO!? WHAT DOES HE EXPECT ME TO DO!? JUST SIT AND WAIT!?” I’ll have to admit, I was so scared of her then. Her hair even turned a fiery type of red. And I mean fire coloured not just Weasley red. Her eyes went black. The Irsis’ and everything. It was scary.
“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Nymphy!? Dora? Look at me girl, calm down!” Luckily Sirius came in at that moment and ran over to shake her shoulders. And I just sat there. Sat there and did nothing.
“I’m fine Sirius! I’m okay! I just want to see Remus!” She said loudly, catching the attention of many surrounding people.
“Shush! You can’t say that that loud sweetie, come here,” And Sirius swept her into his arms. Tonks started to calm down and allowed her cousin to hold her. Sirius rocked her back and forth like a baby
“Sirius. I’m okay.” She deadpanned, I sniggered slightly. The look on her face clearly showed that she no longer wanted to be wrapped up in Sirius.
Reluctantly Sirius loosened his grip on he - which proved that he ha grown up for Ade and Sum, usually he would have kept her stuck to his chest.
“I don’t like this,” He said to her, she was inbetween me and him now, and looked just as uncomfortable as before. Both of us had our arms laid over her shoulders and we were practically sandwiching her inbetween us.
“Move then.” She said, obviously in a mood because we wouldn’t let her run to see Remus. Its quiet cute actually, she actually really likes him.
“No. I don’t like knowing that boys … fancy you,” I sniggered again, Sirius said the word ‘fancy’ with obvious disgust. I think it was more that someone fancied Tonks rather than the word itself. Its okay word. He doesn’t hate you.
“No boys fancy me Sirius,” She said, I felt her tense up. Tonks was a smart girl, and she obviously knew what was coming.
“Oh? So you don’t fancy our Rems’ then? Okay we’ll be off to let him know that,” I said, bluffing obviously. None of us moved. Pads and I just staring at her, the edges of her cheeks starting taint pink; both of us knew that she wasn’t doing that on purpose. The little one mumbled something under her breath.
“What was that Nymphy?” Sirius was full on grinning at his baby cousins discomfort now. I wish I had an older cousin like him.
“I never said I didn’t fancy boys,” Her head was still looking in her lap, and her voice was only timid and shy. Pads and I shared a grin but other than that didn’t say anything else about the matter.
“We’ve been hanging out since September you know, and he didn’t make me feel like I was a little girl with a lot to learn about the world. He didn’t treat me as if I was going to break. He treated me like a women-” rightly so Sirius cut her off right there
“If he treated you like a women I’ll go and fuck him up right now.” he looked murderous, I tried not to laugh, cos he’d fuck me up as well. Well, god help Summer when she’s a teenage girl. Actually, no that wont be a problem because she won’t be dating till she’s fourty.
“Sirius! Not like that!!” She said quickly, and again I tried not to laugh.
“I fucking hope not,” the murderous look still etched onto his face.
“I really like him, but he’s so hard to read,” She said her head flopping into her hands. I waited until Sirius scooped her up again before I stood up. I nodded at him, hopefully he knew that this meant that I would be going to talk to the wolf himself. Okay. No that wasn’t funny.
I was feeling kind of happy after our little chat with Tonks; I mean if Remus was treating her like that then he was pretty head over heels for her as well. And he needs to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. And if Tonks makes him happy, then that’s okay with me. But knowing Remus like I know Remus, there is two reasons why he hasn’t told us about Tonks, and why he hasn’t done anything to make sure noone else snaps her up before he does. Both of them completely ridiculous ideas. 1) the fact that she’s a Fourth Year and he’s a Seventh Year. Of course it’s a stupid thing to be worried about and I’m sure no-one will really care - but now-a-days its safe to be smart about things like that. He’s legal and she’s far from not. But still, a thing like that shouldn’t alter his preferences. After all, age is just a number. 2) Sirius Black. Of course he’s a reason. I mean he’s stupidly protective over Tonks and he always has been, I think it’s the fact that she’s one of the only blood family that he’s got left; but Remus took Tonks to the annual ball, so he knows for a fact that Sirius doesn’t mind that one pairing. I think that Remus is the only guy that he’d ever trust with her, and he knows that…
I was happy for him though, like ridiculously happy, like so happy that if I wasn’t Head Boy then I would probably skip to the Hospital Wing and sing ‘You are my Sunshine’. But I’m Head Boy and people may think that I’m being Imperiousised or something odd like that. I can’t take that chance, to I’ll just whistle happily and slowly swing my body from side to side (like skipping but not skipping!)
“REMMY!” I shouted happily as I entered the Hospital Wing and forgotten about the earlier philosophy and I begun to skip towards the bed in the far corner of the room - which was always reserved for Moony for these two days, he needs it you know. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Madam Pomfrey shake her head at me but she didn’t say anything - she knew it wouldn’t be worth it.
I ripped open the curtains. My best friend seemed more like himself now, he still had some scars on the side of his face from where he was smacking the side of the chair to try to get it to move. Urg, I hate thinking about those nights - I didn’t react when I saw him, I know he hates it. Remus just looked up at me, with a small smile,
“Hey James, did you find her?” He asked, his eyes widening slightly. Of course he remembers what he last asked us to do. I nodded my head and sat myself on the seat next to his bed, bringing my legs up onto his bed.
“What’s going on Moon, you really like this girl but it’s the first time I’ve heard about it?” I didn’t meant to sound really conceited and stuff - but he always tells me stuff. Remus let out a sigh of… I don’t know concern? And he ran his fingers through his hair - I just sat and waited for him to talk. He needed to.
“She’s Tonks! You know?” He looked at me. I waited. I didn’t want to get in the way of his thoughts.
“She’s different to everyone I’ve ever met, and immediately she knew what I was and it didn’t scare here. In fact I had to bribe her to make sure she stayed indoors last night!” he grinned at the memory of that conversation, I smiled too. He seemed so happy.
“But she’s Tonks. And I didn’t think you’d understand what I felt just being around her. And Sirius wouldn’t be much help he’s too wrapped up in Adriana and Summer - and don’t get me wrong I’m so proud the both of you have stepped up and took the responsibility that’s yours. I just didn’t think you’d understand regular relationship problems. Pft, as if this is normal.”
Remus honestly looked so down and depressed about the whole situation, I felt my heart break for him. Mooney is one of the only people who honestly deserve to be happy, and who honestly believe that they’re not worthy of it.
“So what you going to do about it?” I asked him, hoping that he would reply ‘as soon as I get out I’ll run up to her and kiss her’ but of course that’s too … Sirius. He’d probably say ‘just go and hang out I suppose’ because that’s a safe Remus answer.
“Nothing. I’ll go to my room and study. Or I’ll come to your room and study. Its nearly exams. I need to start studying,”
And my mouth just hung open. I couldn’t deciede whether or not he was being serious about that. I never ever expected that reponse out of him and the worst thing? He didn’t even look fased.
“Wait. What?” I asked. Completely confused.
“Its for the best James.” He just said, looking away from me.
“The best for who? Because its certainly not for you and its certainly not for her.” I told him, I tried not to judge but it was quite hard considering how much of and idiot he was being.
“The best for her. She deserves someone who can give her what she wants. I can’t. so its best to get out before anything serious starts,” I opened my mouth in shock. This didn’t seem like Remus at all, “Plus we leave this year so she’ll never have to see me again,”
He made sense. I didn’t want him to make sense.
I went to try and change his mind about all of this, but apparently he knows me too well “- Don’t try James. I’m doing this for her not me.”
And for once I actually left it.
Lying in bed with Lil, I started thinking about the situation that Remus had gotten himself into. He likes this girl, this same girl likes him, but he swerves it off. I’m just glad I don’t have any of this drama.
“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” I asked Lily, she wasn’t quiet asleep yet - her breathing wasn’t steady yet.
“Wait what?” Lil said, leaning off of my chest to look into my eyes more clearly. I repeated the question quietly. I mean; I must be. One of my best friends felt like he couldn’t come to me with girl problems because I have my own responsibility with Lil. I mean I must be a shitty friend.
“No! Of course your not!” Lily sounded outraged at the sheer suggestion of it
“But Remus didn’t come to me,” I told her, genuinely worried about this.
“Maybe Remus realised that you can’t solve everything. Maybe he wanted to figure it out himself,” she said, I heard the uncertainty in her voice though. She rested her head on my chest and softly ticked my chest. “He came to you eventually though,”
And she had a point.
“I love you,”
And I do love her.
Authors Note - im quiet happy with this chapter actually. i was looking back at all of my other chapters i noticed that its all mostly James Lily Sirius Adriana and Summer - and of course i love them loads but i realised theirs hardly any Remus in it! and i love Remus!!
so please please please please review! because it genuienly makes me happy:D