It happened over a year ago now, but I still see her. In my dreams and when I’m awake. Her voice comforts me when I’m sad or afraid. She knows I miss her and I love her and God answers my prayers. He tells me everything is going to be alright but it won’t be because I don’t have her in my life. Nothing feels real anymore. Nothing is real anymore. How can it be? How can something so unfair, so tragic be real? But it is. It’s just too painful and unfair. She was my daughter, my best friend and my life. When she left, a part of my heart left too and now I’m lost. It’s like I’ve been stabbed through the heart and the wound will never heal, I will just feel the pain for the rest of my life. A scar has been left and it will never leave. I wish I could hate and rage and fight the pain away, but I can’t. I don’t have enough strength left inside of me. I love you darling so, so much and I wish you were with me. That’s all I can do now, tell her I love her and keep on saying it. Scream it until my voice goes hoarse, yell it and kick and shriek.
“God,” I whisper into the night, “where were you the day my daughter needed you most? Don’t you care anymore?” he does of course and he’s helping me through this. All I need to do is believe I can make it through and I’ll hopefully be happy again some day.
I walk into her room everyday and see her empty bed with her favourite toy sitting on top. It was a stuffed rabbit, with one button eye missing and one ear half torn. She called him Robert the Rabbit. She loved that thing, and come to think about it, so did I but now she’s gone and it just brings back too many painful memories.
Everyday and night I try to drown my sorrow and bring back my joy, but it never happens. My world is crumbling apart and there’s nothing I can do. The tears just keep on coming and my heart aches every time I whisper her name. Hermione tries to help, tries to make my world a better place to live in and Ron does too but it’s just a waste of time, My heart can not be fixed and I just push them away.
Harry, my beloved husband left me one day. He was tired of me yelling at him and driving him away from me that he left, but not before he said goodbye. I don’t blame him really and I still love him so, so much. He took my sons away too. He couldn't leave them with me, they would have be so unhappy if he did. He came and visited me a few months back and he said he still loved me but he has had to start again and he’s happy now. He told me I should try the same.
The loss of losing them is almost as hard as losing Lily. I realise why he did it and I relise he was right but I can't help but feel angry at him. He left me all along and I'm only going to get worse. I need him with me. I need him and my sons.
First, when I think of him, I feel love, but then the love turns to anger and the anger to sorrow and the sorrow to hate.
I go through to my bedroom and pick up a picture of her on her last birthday, she was just five years old. I caress her face and stroke her red curls. Her emerald green eyes shine at me through the photo laughing. I hold the picture next to my heart and weep. The tears of pain slide down my face and I collapse with grief. Her smile was so beautiful. The rain starts to pour outside my window and pound off the roof. The water trickles down the glass, just like the tear drops on my face. The lightning starts to flashed and the thunder starts to rumble, the storm is beginning in my heart.
As I walk back down the stairs there’s a buzzing in my head and it won’t seem to go away. My pain seems to grow by the second and I think it’s all a dream but it’s not. My sole feels torn into pieces and I can’t do anything to pick them up. It seems like the world as ended but it hasn’t. Only mine has. Mine and my daughter’s.
She had a heart of gold, always thinking of someone else and wanting them to be happy, just like her father. She was always trying her best to make me smile and if she is watching me from heaven it is my deepest regret that I can’t smile for her now.
She left me alone, so very alone.
Every night in my nightmares I hear the screech of the breaks of the car and see my daughter’s terrified face as she looks at me for the last time, just like the day she died, one whole year ago. I still regret that I didn’t do anything to save her. I could have used magic or looked after her better.
“Ginny,” Hermione says to me, “it isn’t you fault that she’s gone.” but every time I disagree. I scream and yell and roar to think what I have done. The pain will never leave me and my heart will remain shattered.
But the storm never lasts. The sun eventually comes out and lights up your day. No matter how think the clouds are they can’t abolish the sun and they can’t cover it forever. The rain will stop, the sky will clear and we will do our best to pick up the pieces and find our way back to the road. Your sorrow is banished and you sole opens up to joy. But never forget the ones we lose and be grateful they are now in a better place. Prey for them every night and never stop loving them. And we will never forget what was lost and my beloved Lily will remain with me forever and ever.
A/N Just to let you know this was never meant to be a Harry Potter fanfic. It was acctally for the radio 2 writing Competition but was slightly different (I got into the top 2000 out 0f 74000! Yay me). It Obviously didn't have the harry potter bits in it and it had a story line.
Anyway this is my first fic and i know it's short but please please please review and if you think it's bad don't be afraid to say but please don't be mean, beacuse I write this for fun, not professionally! THANK YOU!!!!!!