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Illusions of a Perfect Marriage by alicia and anne
Chapter 9 : Rose tinted bath products
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9

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A/N: Harry and Ron are a bit OOC in this chapter, but it's more fun to write them this way :-D Just pretend that they would actually argue like they do in this chapter hehe. Also I have no idea how to write a French accent so sorry about that :-D. I hope you all enjoy.

They had begun bickering the moment they set eyes on each other the next morning, mainly over stupid things such as ‘Your shirt is hideous’, ‘ jump off a cliff’ and ‘stop hogging all of the sunlight’ All of them said by Amelia, who was still annoyed at James after last night.

Amelia knew that yesterday afternoon had been too good to be true. After the Quidditch match James had wanted to talk to Amelia about what had happened between them. This infuriated Amelia to no end as nothing did happen between them, or according to her nothing had happened between them, but James wouldn’t hear the end of it and they had had an argument before they went to sleep.

Amelia was currently sitting in the kitchen with James sitting next to her; they were both sitting in an uneasy silence and were unsure of what to say to each other without having an argument.

James opened his mouth but thought better of talking to her and just settled back in his seat playing with the table cloth.

“Lily Potter!”

James and Amelia looked up quickly, wondering why someone had yelled Lily’s name and why Lily was currently walking into the kitchen with a grin on her face.

"What have you done?” James asked her. Lily just shook her head before going to walk out of the back door but it immediately locked itself as Louis came in waving his wand at the door.

James and Amelia let out loud laughter as they took in the sight of Louis, his eyebrows and hair had been turned green. Lily slowly turned around to face his older cousin with a devilish smile on her face.

“Nice hair,” she told him, causing Louis to glare at her.

“You change it back!” he said angrily pointing to his head. James and Amelia carried on laughing at him but he was ignoring them.

“Never!” Lily said crossing her arms, “I told you I would get you back didn’t I?”

Louis looked a little confused at what she was talking about.

“I haven’t done anything to you for you to get me back,” he stated, looking to James and Amelia for their input but they just shrugged at him not knowing either.

“How about when you gave me those bath products that said on the box were Rose flavoured and even smelled like Rose before I decided to use them, and then found out were actually Dragon Dung flavoured! No one would come near me for a week!” Lily screamed at him, Louis’s face suddenly broke into a smile as he remembered.

“That was funny,” he told her before he realised something. “- That was well over a year ago!”

“Yeah well I never forgo,! I just had to make sure you forgot before I could get my revenge, it makes it just that bit better don’t you think?”

“But making his eyebrows and hair grow green isn’t that bad, it’s only on your head,” Amelia said looking at them both as she calmed down her laughter.

“Oh no it’s not just there, it’s everywhere! I look like I’m infected!” Louis told her, Amelia looked down at his arms and saw that they too were covered in green hair.

“Ha ha you look like a Kiwi!” James stated before him and Amelia giggled again.

“Do the counter spell!” Louis yelled at Lily who shook her head.

He ran forward and grabbed Lily but she turned it so she had somehow got him into a headlock, he tried to poke her in the ribs but he couldn’t reach her. They both let out loud screams of anger as they continued fighting with each other.

Amelia jumped up to break them up as James ran from his seat and out of the door, which he unlocked and opened, calling wildly for help.

“Come on calm down both of you!” Amelia yelled but it fell on death ears, Louis had managed to get Lily to the floor and was trapping her so she was face down and he was sitting on her, he waved his wand and a squiggling line was making itself across her face, first drawing a comical curly moustache before making glasses.

Writing began making its way across her face spelling out ‘Dung head’, Lily let out a roar as she managed to shove him from her, learning from all of her fights with James and Albus how to get out of holds like this.

She shoved Louis to the floor as she grabbed her wand from her pocket and waved it at him. Long green hairs began sprouting from his ears and nose, he let out a roar before Lily waved her wand again and Louis’s voice suddenly changed into only being able to quack. He let out a loud quack before grabbing Lily’s arm.

Both of them began waving their wands frantically and Amelia found herself having to hide behind the table for shelter from the unruly spells being thrown between the two.

“What is going on here!” came the yell of Ginny Potter as her, Harry, Bill and Fleur rushed into the room to find the two fighting, James followed in behind them.

Harry rushed forwards and grabbed Lily away from Louis and Bill grabbed his son by the shoulders and held him back. The two cousins were still trying to fight each other but both Harry and Bill had managed to snatch their wands from them, giving them to Ginny and Fleur. Amelia decided that now would be a safe time to come out of hiding.

“What on earth has gotten into you two?” Ginny yelled as she took in their appearances and thankful that she was so angry otherwise she would have burst out into laughter, same with the other adults.

“Louis what is zee meaning of this?” Fleur asked her French accent not as strong as it used to be now that she was spending most of her time around the Weasley family and in England, but it was still there.

Lily and Louis glared at each other; Lily raised her hand and pointed at Louis, “HE started it!”

Louis let out a lot of indignant quacks, glaring at Lily. The adults were taken aback before Fleur waved her wand and Louis was able to speak normally.

“I did not! You came bursting into my room and turned my hair gree,!” Louis said after shooting a thankful look at his mother.

“Because you gave me Dragon Dung products,” Lily cried.

“Over a year ago!” Louis shot back.

“Enough!” Harry yelled and they fell silent.

“Apologise to each other,” Bill told them, they both looked at each other angrily. Lily pushed her hair out of her face and her hand fell of her hair at the back. She let out a shriek of horror as she realised that Louis had burnt most of it off. She let out another shriek as she struggled against her father to get to Louis who was smiling at her.

“I wouldn’t be smiling pig face,” Lily growled.

Louis’s hand flew to his face and he realised that he had a pig snout for a nose.

“Oh you wait until I get you back for this,” Louis warned her.

“There will be none of that!” Ginny snapped warningly, “If we find you two fighting again then I will personally snap your wands in two!”

They both fell silent and turned to look at Ginny in horror, “you can’t do that!” Louis told her, “we’re adults!”

“Precisely!” Bill yelled at them, “you shouldn’t be doing stuff like this, we expect better of you.”

“Now apologise to each other,” Harry stated.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said as her father let go of her. Louis apologised also as his father let go of him. They both turned around holding their hands out for their wands but Fleur waved her own wand confiscating the other one, they turned to look at her flabbergasted but she glared at them.

“We need to change ourselves back to what we looked like before” Lily said as Louis spoke at the same time saying, “Lily needs to give me the counter curse to change my hair back to normal.”

“I don’t theenk so,” Fleur snapped at them, “you will walk around like this all day!” the others all agreed with each other.

“I am not going outside like this!” Lily said pointing at herself.

“I think you will, because you are not leaving our sights and I think the whole family should go for a nice long walk,” Ginny said pleasantly, she turned around as Lily and Louis let out a loud groan.

“Where are we going?” Amelia asked her, Ginny smiled at her and placed a hand on Amelia’s shoulder.

“Oh. you and James don’t have to come anywhere,” she told her, Lily and Louis began protesting but a look from their fathers made them quiet again, “I’ve seen you two bickering lately and it must be because everyone is around so you never get any time to yourselves. You should stay here and have a nice day together.” she dropped her hand from Amelia’s shoulder and began walking out with the others.

“Oh yes, we need some little ones running around ‘ere.” Fleur said with a laugh and a wink at both James and Amelia. They all left the room and Amelia turned to glare at James.

“Somehow I think this is your fault!” she snapped.

James and Amelia decided that they should also go visit the area surrounding the houses and Amelia wanted to find a few shops so she could buy some stuff. They walked down a cobbled road, not speaking to each other as they had bickered for most of the journey about trivial things.

“How about we have a few drinks?” Amelia snapped as she pushed her way into the pub without giving James a chance to reply.

“I want to go further down the town,” James said as they entered the pub, Amelia pushed over to the bar and took a seat on the stool; James stood standing looking down at her.

“Well we’re here now aren’t we you can go look at shops in a minute.”

“You know you don’t always have to get your own way,” James retaliated, “what about what I want to do?”

“We always do what you want to do,” Amelia barked at him in annoyance, “like this holiday, going to the party, spending time with your family.”

“You are enjoying yourself don’t deny that,” he told her crossing his arms, “and I have apologised profusely for the vacation.”

“Yeah well I don’t forgive you. And don’t be so sure that I’m enjoying myself,” she squinted her eyes at him.

“Well you seemed to be enjoying the view of me yesterday,” he said in a whisper to her.

“You were sweaty and in my face where else was I meant to look?” she asked him.

“You are a piece of work do you know that? If you insist that we be here can we at least go sit in a booth?” he asked frustrated with her before pointing to an empty booth across the room.

“No I’m fine here.” she told him, deliberately choosing to not do what he wanted to do.

James stared at her for a moment before shaking his head and walking over to the booth to sit down, getting more annoyed with her attitude to him.

Amelia rolled her eyes at James before she turned around to face the bar, she looked around her and caught the gaze of a tall, dark haired man in his late twenties, he gave her a warm smile and she returned it.

He walked over to her and leaned on the bar with one arm; he held out a hand to her and introduced himself. She gazed at him and told him she was called Amelia before she glanced over at James who was looking at her with a jealous but angry look over her face. She knew exactly how she was going to get him back.

“So what brings you to these parts?” The man asked her a flirtatious look in his eyes as he looked her up and down.


"What are you doing?” James growled at Amelia, she turned to look at him an eyebrow raised as she watched the guy she had been talking to went further up the bar to get him and her a drink.

“Having fun what does it look like?”

“We are married,” he told her angrily, “you shouldn’t be flirting with other guys!”

“I think you’ll find, that we are not together!” Amelia shot back.

“That may be true, but we are still legally married,” James stated.

“Yeah well what I do is no concern of yours is it? You don’t own me do you? I can do what I like.”

“Fine! Fine!” James said angrily, “do what you want.” he added in a growl before he shook his head and walked away from her, her eyes followed him as he walked over to the other side of the pub sitting in a booth alone.

Amelia felt nervous at him being so far away and she felt a sudden pain of regret at the way she was behaving but she couldn’t let him see that. She didn’t want him to know that she cared; it would just open her up to more hurt in the long run.

The man came back over to her two drinks in his hand; Amelia placed hers on the side beside her suddenly not trusting herself to drink it. Her eyes glanced over to James who was fuming angrily and looking away from her.

“So where were we?” the man asked bringing Amelia’s gaze back to him.

“How about we go some place quieter,” the man said in a whisper his breath tickling Amelia’s ear as he leaned forward, one hand was holding his drink and the other had rested itself on her knee. Amelia didn’t like the way this was going one bit, sure she wanted to make James jealous at first but now it was going a bit too far.

“I think I’d rather stay here,” she told him leaning away from him and moving his hand from her. The man stood up normally looking down at his hand before looking back up at her.

“Now come on, don’t be like that. We were having such a nice talk,” he said staring at her a sudden hard edge that made Amelia more nervous than before, she looked to her side and saw that James had disappeared from his seat.

“Yeah that’s just what it was a talk. But thank you for the drink that was most kind,” Amelia told him as calmly as she could as she got off of her seat and stood up. The man caught her arm before she could walk away and Amelia felt a bad feeling fill through her.

“You can’t go around flirting with guys and letting them buy you drinks without some sort of appreciation back if you catch my drift.”

“Can you please let go of my arm, I need to leave,” Amelia said trying to push the man’s hand off of her but he wasn’t budging.

The man laughed slightly, “all I ask for is some appreciation.”

Amelia felt her eyes widen as she tried to think of a way out of this. She felt someone brushed up behind her and the man’s hand was released from her grip, she staggered backwards into the person behind her and whirling around she saw that James was standing behind her, glaring daggers at the man.

She rushed behind him and hugged him tightly and for protection, peering at the man from around James’s body.

“She told you to let go of her,” James said threateningly, the man let out a laugh as he sized up James who was a few inches taller than him.

“Listen mate this isn’t any of your concern.”

“It is when you’re manhandling my wife,” he growled making himself clear, the man’s eyes grew wide as he began apologising profusely.

“Mate I am so sorry, I thought she was single.” He held up his hands in defence as he began backing away.

“Well she isn’t,” James snapped as he grabbed for Amelia’s hand and taking it tightly, he gave the man one final fierce look before he walked them out of the pub. Amelia rushed after him, not wanting to be anyway near that pub with the man there.

They had only made it a few meters before Amelia stopped and threw her arms around James appreciatively.

“Thank you so much!” she cried hugging him tightly, she felt him gently pull her away from him and look down at her.

“I think we should be heading back,” he told her the angry tone still in his voice and the fury still evident on his face. Amelia nodded as she followed behind him suddenly feeling stupid for ever thinking it would be a good idea to flirt with a complete stranger to make James jealous.

“I’m sorry,” Amelia told him softly as she fell into step beside him, for he had slowed down slightly for her to catch up. James didn’t say anything but he reached out to gently take her hand, and Amelia for once didn’t want to let go of it, together they walked back to the house in silence.

When they arrived at the house they saw that everyone had come back and were all gathering around the kitchen making preparations for dinner. The adults had decided that the entire family would sit down every night for dinner, charming one of the kitchens so it would be large enough to fit them all in. They saw Louis and Lily laughing with each other as they placed plates on the table, their earlier fight forgotten and the spells they had cursed each other with, obviously reversed so they looked normal, even Lily’s hair had grown back to the original length.

They let go of each other’s hands when they entered the room properly but some of the adults caught sight of it and grinned at each other knowingly, Amelia tried to ignore their looks as she asked if anything needed to be done. She was handed cutlery to place on the table whilst James was asked to help Dominique bring in chairs from the other house.

Once everything was set out and almost everyone had sat down at the table, talk got onto the subject of what everyone had got up to that day. James and Amelia told the family that they had had a nice stroll around the town, not mentioning what had happened in the pub, guilty looks on their reddening faces which the family took to mean something else.

“Spent some alone time in the town eh?” Fred said with a wink as he nudged James in the elbow, James rubbed his side as he shook his head at his cousin.

“Nothing like that,” James stated. Fred turned to look at Albus who was sitting his other side.

“What’s up with him?” Fred asked Albus loudly ignoring James’s groan of annoyance.

“His obviously not getting any from Amelia,” Albus said simply causing an outcry from James and Amelia. They had to be silenced by Arthur who yelled for everyone to be quiet. The talk went onto what the others had done all day.

“We found a park,” Bill told James and Amelia as he had his arm around the back of Fleur’s empty seat, she was currently helping Molly dish out the food onto plates so they could be placed on the table.

“It was so much fun!” Charlie told them.

“My family were so immature,” Percy stated to Amelia, puffing himself out slightly to show that he in fact wasn’t immature.

“Oh come on now honey, you were the first one on that slide thingy,” Audrey said waving her hand in front of her as she described the object.

“Only because Bill pushed me,”

“On a swing,” Harry giggled, Percy sighed as he shook his head.

“At least I didn’t get stuck on that thing that spun around in a circle because someone pushed it too fast,” he told them regally, looking pointedly at Ron.

“They were all pushing me!” Ron said defensively pointing at each of the younger ones in turn, leaving out Amelia and James.

“At least I didn’t get stuck in a swing meant for children,” Ron stated looking at his dad who was smiling down at them almost proudly.

“Guilty!” Arthur said raising a hand before beaming at them, “glorious things, I’m thinking of installing one at home.”

“Those monkey bars were great though!” George told them all, the others all nodded their appreciation of the monkey bars.

“But you were cheating,” Molly junior said loudly shaking her head at her Uncle, “you had Uncle Charlie and Uncle Bill holding you up.”

“Still done them,” George said proudly.

“That wasn’t as fun as that see-saw thing!” Dom exclaimed looking at the others. “We all had a go on that.”

“It would have been more fun if it wasn’t boys versus girls, you’re end had more people,” Hugo cried. They all began to get into a heated argument but were quickly stopped by Molly, Fleur and Ginny who were bringing over the food, magically levitating it all over and sitting down, before nodding that everyone could dig in.

It wasn’t long before they had all finished their dinners and were happily lazing on their chairs, feeling very full and satisfied.

“That was fantastic!” Arthur cried appreciatively as the rest all agreed with him. “Now does anyone have anything to say,” he looked around at the table seeing if anyone wanted to say something. Harry stood up slowly.

“I would like to say something,” he told them as he looked around at them al,l “I am very very glad that we decided to have this family holiday.”

“In honour of my birthday,” Ron put in from his seat next to Harry, who turned to look at Ron before turning to look back at the others.

“Yes to celebrate Ron’s birthday. But this is also special because it’s not often that we all get to be together and I think that we should all try and do this more.”

Everyone agreed with him heartily and Harry gave a smile before continuing.

“I didn’t have much of a family when I was growing up and I’m glad that I can look to you all as my own family and I am so glad that you accepted me as one of you.”

“Only because you kept inviting yourself over,” George said loudly causing people to chuckle. “We couldn’t get rid of you.”

“Well I am the boy-who-lived,” he told them with a smirk, everyone groaned (apart from Amelia) they had all heard this story many times before and knew it off by heart.

“I was a young boy, scared, alone, chased by an evil man known as -” Harry began.

“He who must not be named. And no matter what I did he would never leave me alone!” Albus interrupted his father, who looked annoyed that he had been interrupted.

“And along the way I met great people who would help me face him and I knew that I wasn’t alone anymore,” came Molly juniors voice finishing for her cousin Albus. Harry frowned a bit more.

“But when the time comes I knew that only I could defeat the dark lord!” Charlie put in after Molly, Harry opened his mouth to say something but James interrupted him.

“With a massive mackerel!” James yelled throwing his arms wide indicating how big the mackerel would be.

“Yes - WAIT! No!” Harry stated shaking his head at his family, “can I finish without being interrupted?” he asked them, they all mumbled at him and Harry carried on.

“As I was saying I single handedly defeated he who must not be named -”

“Woah! Hang on one minute!” Ron said outraged as he too stood up and looked at Harry who had turned around to face him, “single-handedly?"

“Well yeah you got basilisk fangs - I destroyed him,” Harry stated.

“But I thought dad defeated him?” Hugo said sadly turning to face his mother a sad look in his eyes. “Dad always told me it was him that defeated he who must not be named and Harry was just taking the credit because dad didn’t want all the fame.”

Ron coughed uncomfortably as Hermione shook her head at her husband before turning to look at her son, “Honey, your dad may have exaggerated.”

“A lot,” Harry said, Ron glared at him before shrugging.

“Whatever Harry, at least I got the girl!” he winked at Hermione.

“I didn’t want your girl,” Harry told him, he thought of Hermione as a sister, everyone knew that. Ron rounded on Harry.

“Are you saying that there is something wrong with my wife?” he asked incredulously.

“What? No!” Harry said as he and Ron began bickering, “I had a girl.”

“Not during our last year you didn’t,” Ron yelled, their argument getting louder, Hermione and Ginny let out a sigh and were annoyed at being referred to as being their girls.

“Well that didn’t matter I got her in the end and I also had her during our fifth year.”

“But that doesn’t matter I had my girl the entire time,” Harry bellowed back.

“Oh no holding hands with a girl back then! I’m so jealous,” Harry said sarcastically.

“Well it’s much more then you were doing with your girl!” Ron shouted.

Harry had a smug grin on his face as he looked at Ron, “I done a lot more then hold her hand.”

Ron glared at him “No you didn’t! You done nothing!”

“Oh yeah? Want to bet on that?” They were squaring off on each other, the other family members would have been concerned or stopped this if they didn’t argue every other day, as it did they did argue every other day.

“Yeah! Yeah I do!” Ron told him poking him in the chest; Harry looked down before he poked Ron back and yelled as loud as he could.

“Well I win then because back then I was doing your sister!” He smiled smugly again as Ron fell silent and Harry realised that he had won this bickering match that they had, he turned to face the others and saw that they were all looking at him in shock and some of them, Ginny’s brothers, mum and dad were all looking at Harry murderously. Harry gulped slightly.

“Would it help if I said I was the chosen one?” he asked jokingly as he sat down slowly and tried to hide behind his wife, who moved quickly out of the way.

“Oh no! You are on your own!” she said shaking her head as she moved her chair away from her husband.

He let out an uncomfortable cough as he said, “I would like to point out that out of the kindness of my heart I am letting you all stay in my holiday homes, completely free of charge and I am willing to pay for all amenities.”

They all continued staring at him and Harry knew that it would take a lot for them to forgive him for his outburst.

“So... who wants dessert?” he enquired.


A/N: Anyone else think that the man at the bar sounded a bit like a cowboy when he said "around these parts?" or is it just me? :-D


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