Chapter 1 : I Wish You Were Here
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[Disclaimer: anything you recognise (apart from the song lyrics) belongs to J K Rowling, author of the amazing Harry Potter series. Song: Vanilla Twilight by the amazing Owl City. Seriously, Their songs are awesome.]
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
I look up at the sky, watching as it gradually became darker and the first stars appear. The stars took you away, and now you’re gone, up there somewhere. It is now the summer after my 7th and final year at Hogwarts. I know that I should go to sleep, but I can’t, yet. Not while I miss you so badly. But you’re gone now; you’ve slipped away, right through my fingers. Sometimes, I wish that I could just be numb, so that I can’t feel this pain. I imagine that it would be like taking a heavy dose of atmosphere.
‘Cause I’ll dose off safe and soundly
But I’ll miss your arms around me
I’d send a postcard to you dear
‘Cause I wish you were here
There is a peaceful calm over my house, and I know that if I were to drift off, it would be safely and soundly. I’m not in any danger, almost no one is anymore – the Great War is finally over. I miss our time at Hogwarts, when we would sit up talking, eventually falling asleep with your arms around me. With you there, I was truly at home. I would send a postcard to you dear, because I so wish that you were here. But I can’t, not where you are now. There’s no way to send it to you. I wonder if it’s warm, wherever you are. Here, it is icy cold, just like my heart.
I’ll watch the night turn light blue
But it’s not the same with out you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
I’m sitting outside, watching the night turn light blue, but I know it would be more beautiful if you were here. Everything was more beautiful when you were there. It was like your beauty shone from the inside out, lighting up the things around you. It’s just not the same without you here. Now, there’s nobody to whisper to as the darkness creeps in, engulfing me, claiming me for its own. Luckily, it’s still quite light outside. But there’s nobody here now except for me, and I’m all alone, with no one to talk to, to keep away the darkness. Because when you were there, even the night sky wasn’t so dark, because you glowed from your soul.
The silence isn’t so bad
‘Till I look at my hands and feel sad
‘Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
I really don’t mind the silence; I’m used to it. My house is a quiet place and I am a quiet person. But then I look down and see my hands, and it makes my heart ache to remember that the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. Like they were sculpted that way, like we were made the fit together. Your small, dainty fingers would slot between my larger, longer, rougher ones like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Now I can’t feel the warmth of your hand in mine anymore, and my skin is freezing cold, like I’ve been holding them in a snowdrift. But I haven’t.
I’ll find repose in new ways
Though I haven’t slept in two day
‘Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
Maybe I’ll relax more, find repose in doing new things with my life, so that I don’t continually dwell on the past, the part of my life when you were there. I haven’t slept in two days, though I know I should, because cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. I keep remembering all the time I spent with you, laughing, having fun. That’s all gone know, and you’ve left me feeling cold all over, but it’s not your fault you can’t be here.
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I’ll sit on my front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you
I don’t feel so alone
I don’t feel so alone
I don’t feel so alone
I look up once more at the sky. Right now is my favourite time of the day – vanilla twilight. The sky reaches up, light blue, from the crisp white blanket of snow on the ground. A huge swirl of vanilla obscures the blue, but makes it all the more beautiful. I sit on my front porch, intending to stay here all night long, looking up at the sky and watching it get darker and darker, the stars becoming brighter and brighter. When you were here, you would laugh and say it reminded you of a huge scoop of vanilla ice cream – your favourite flavour. When I think of you, it’s almost like you’re here with me, begging me to get you a huge bowl of ice cream, and then sharing it with me anyway. Suddenly, I don’t feel quite so alone, so I stay here, thinking about you, and what you would say if you were here.
As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you tonight
I’ll think of you tonight
Every time I blink, I think of another memory, another time that I shared with you. This is how I’ll spend the whole night long, so that I’m not overcome with loneliness. Blink. We’re sitting in the tree house we made in first year, watching the sun rising. It’s a mix of pale colours: yellow, white, grey, red and orange. I’m laughing as you yawn widely. Blink. You’re upset, and I’m comforting you, as only I know how to do. I look down at your tearstained face, and you smile weakly at me. I know just what to do to make you feel better. I lean down, and my lips gently brush against yours. I swear that electricity is running through my veins now, not blood. Blink. I’m playing Quidditch, the final match of my final year. I look at the stands and see you there, a scarlet and gold scarf flapping wildly around your neck, cheering me on. Screaming out, “GO TEDDY!” I turn around, and see a walnut-sized ball fluttering around near the goal posts. I urge my broomstick forwards, getting closer and closer… I’ve caught it! You run onto the pitch grinning madly, and I pick you up and spin you in a circle before putting you down. Blink. All these thoughts of you, spinning and swirling crazily through my head. Keeping me company.
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again
As I’m thinking, I remember your eyes: beautiful, violet, unique. Completely and utterly you. They grow brighter and brighter, burning an image in my mind. I will never, ever forget your eyes. The heavy wings keeping you down here on earth, causing you pain, making you ill, gradually grew lighter, until they took you away forever, up into the sky. I look at the sky, the vanilla twilight, and I feel alive again, for the first time since you left. I know that you wouldn’t want me to feel depressed for the rest of my life, so I’ll try, for you.
And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh, If my voice could reach back through the past
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here
For you, I’ll forget all the bad memories, all the terrible things that have happened. I’ll try and forget how quickly you passed away, and the pain of it. I’ll try and forget how it felt to have my heart shatter like glass, or crystal, into a million tiny little pieces. But I swear I will never forget you. I’ll always remember your laugh, like tinkling bells, your extraordinary violet eyes, your bouncy blonde curls, your smile, which always made my day just that little bit brighter. If I could only go back and whisper in your ear one last time, I’d tell you that I wish you were here. Victoire, even though you are long gone now, I’ll never forget you.
[A/N: Thank you for reading. This is my first ever fanfic, so reviews are appreciated! Constructive criticism is also welcome, so that I can improve for next time. Also, if you have any ideas for a storyline, just let me know! -kaleidoscope_eyes]