Chapter 2 : We're going to Hogwarts!
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“ROXANNE! FRED! GET YOUR LAZY LITTLE ARSES DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!”
Oh Mother, your compassion astonishes me. I groan as I unsuccessfully attempt to lift myself out of bed. It’s just so comfy! Why on earth would I want to leave my yummy bead to go downstairs?
To go to Hogwarts!
Do you know what Hogwarts means? Jake Thomas and Quidditch (there’s school of course but really, who actually learns at Hogwarts?)
I lug my large suitcase down the stairs followed by Fred closely behind me. However he happens to find it much more easier what with him being six foot something and possessing muscles which I unfortunately seem to lack.
This is extremely unfair you know, up until third year I used to be taller and stronger than both Freddie and James, but ever since the end of third year Tweedledum and Tweedledee’s growth spurt meant that instead of being small awkward little things, with heads too big for their puny little bodies, puberty provided them with abs.
Puberty gave them abs. I swear I really am Voldemort because I only got my boobs this year and Dom got hers in like second year.
I was boob deprived.
But then again I’m glad I’m a girl because despite the fact I’m a gay rights supporter and all, I really don’t think Jake swings that way.
Plus Freddy is an ok boy at times.
I mean we are twins, we do like alike...a bit.... well Freddie has brown hair and brown eyes, and I have brown hair, and blue eyes.
Oh and I’m a girl and all.
Freddie and I do happen to share things in common though, our intense love for Quidditch and competitive spirit happen to be one of them. We used to be quite close when we were younger, best friends actually, but then we went to Hogwarts and I was sorted into Ravenclaw with Dom, Herman and Josh and Freddie into Gryffindor with James and Louis; so we kind of just drifted off, Freddie hung out with his friends, and I did with mine.
But sometimes there’s no one else who knows me like Fred. And those are the moments when I know I never really lost my best friend.
“SWEET MERLIN ROXANNE, MOVE YOUR FAT ARSE!”
Screw that, my brother’s an ape.
“Have you remembered everything? You’ve got your schoolbooks? Robes? Wands?” Mum says eyeing us both wearily.
“Give ‘em a break Angie, they’ll be fine!” Dad says rubbing Mum’s shoulder reassuringly. It’s nice to know that while Mum may seem like a total badass at times, she’s a complete softie when it comes to my dad.
“Don’t worry Ma! We’ll be fine!” Fred gives Mum a peck on the cheek, gives Dad a man-hug and me cheeky smirk before heading over to the train, waving at us as he runs over to James and Louis.
“You’ll look after him won’t you Roxanne?” Mum says watching Fred tiredly. “You know your brother dear, he loves trouble that one.” She looks up at me. (Grew two inches this summer biatch)
I smile reassuringly at her. “Course I will Mum! I am his big sister after all.” By only 5 minutes, but really, who cares? She smiles back at me and kisses me on the cheek.
“You won’t give that Thomas boy any trouble now will you? Poor boy’s mother calls me telling about you harass him every day at school!”
He talks about me! To his mother! Sweet Merlin! Is it possible to be even more in love with a person!
“Wipe that smile off your face Roxanne! This is an important year, you need to focus on your studies, it’s NEWT year next year! Do you understand me young lady!?”
“Jeez Mum! Don’t worry! I’m not in Ravenclaw for nothing you know!” It’s Freddie she should be worrying about! Not me! He’s the one who gets tutoring off the third years because he’s so thick.
Mum rolls her eyes and kisses my cheek before shooing me off, not before Dad gets a hold of me. Dad and I have always had an interesting relationship, unlike him and Freddie we don’t talk as much, but he’s my Daddy and I’m his little girl and that’s enough for the both of us.
He kisses my forehead and hugs me tight, and I hug him back, because nothing can make you feel more happy than a bear-hug from George Weasley. He smiles at me and lets me go not before ruffling my hair and pushing me off towards the train.
“OI, ROXY!” Screams a voice from behind me. I shriek as I run into a pair of strong arms, the owner of these? Herman Miller, my best friend.
“HERMAN!” I shriek in his ear, please excuse the over exaggerated greeting but it’s been almost two months since I’ve seen Herman, he and his dads went on a trip to famous Wizarding landmarks around the world.
Yes, I said Dads, as in plural, as in more than one. As in his parents are gay. Herman is adopted.
I met Herman Miller six years ago, he was the douche bag who stole Heather, my pet cat, I being the little hothead that I was chased the boy around the whole Ravenclaw common room for a good two hours. When I did finally manage to tackle him down he apologised and told me I was pretty tough for a girl, to which I replied by punching him the face because he was a sexist douche and NO ONE messes with Heather.
She’s my baby.
“Roxanne Weasley, is that you? My, my, my have you grown!” I squealed excitedly and run out of Herman’s arms into another pair.
Meet Seth Miller, father to Herman and partner of Mike. Seth is without doubt one of the coolest guys I know, second only to Jake Thomas of course, but let us forget that minor detail and move on with my story. Seth is of course extremely sexy and of course extremely gay.
He is pretty damn hawt. I had a crush on him up until second year when Herman told him his Dad was:
a) too old for me
b) didn’t like chicks.
I’m not going to lie and say my twelve year old heart wasn’t devastated , because it was, but it was all good because a couple of moments later Jake Thomas told me he liked my shoes.
Granted he was probably being sarcastic, because really people-who on earth would compliment a pair of glow in the dark muggle sneakers? Exactly. But still, he acknowledged my presence in a non-homicidal way so that, I believed was an improvement to our blossoming relationship.
“Now Foxy, tell me about your Summer? Meet any cute boys?” Seth says taking my arm and guiding me away from Mike and Herman. Herman obviously looks annoyed at his Dad while Mike stares fondly on, simply enjoying watching families say farewell to one another.
I smile widely at him, “Come on Seth, you know I have eyes for one guy only, and that’s Jake!” a flicker of disappointment flashes across his face but he quickly shakes it off and rolls his eyes at me. Why would he be disappointed with me? He’s gay!
UNLESS HE ISN’T AND HE SECRETLY IS IN LOVE WITH ME AND HE WANTS HIS OWN DIRTY WAY WITH ME BUT IS WAITING TILL I TURN 17 SO HE DOESN’T GET THROWN INTO AZKABAN!
“Sweet Merlin Rox! You stalk that boy, don’t you think it’s time to throw in the towels and look for another guy?”
Or, he probably is just starting to think my obsession with Jake is getting creepy.
“ROX!” Herman yells waving me over. “The trains about to leave!”
I smile at Seth, give him a quick peck on the cheek and wave at Mike, giving them both cheeky smiles as I headed towards the train that was taking me to Hogwarts.
Let the fun begin.
We enter the compartment to the sounds of joyous shouts of glee and a feeling of serenity,
“No Josh, for the last fucking time, I did not steal your Ron Weasley Chocolate Frog Card!”
“Come on now Dommy! I won’t get mad! Just tell me where you put it?!”
Uh-oh, bad mistake Joshy, never, ever, ever, ever call Dominique Weasley Dommy. Well unless you want to get your balls chopped off.
“Don’t.” Uh-oh, Dom’s turning an unattractive shade of red. “Ever. Call. Me. That.” She says holding her wand to his throat, Josh now seems to be turning a very interesting purple.
“Oi! You too, cut out the fighting and just start snogging!” Herman yells out flopping into the spare seat across. Dom turns and glares at him but Josh simply shrugs his shoulders and pulls Dom’s face to his beginning to snog her mercilessly.
Oh dear, they’re at it like rabbits!
Sweet Merlin, the children do not need to see this. I mutter quietly and close the compartment curtains. No one needs to see this.
“OI! GET A ROOM!” Herman yells at the two hormonal teens in front of us, Josh manages to flip us off while continually kissing Dom.
I have such classy friends.
“Hey Rox,” Dom asks, her lips swollen and hair out of control. “ Do you think Josh likes me?”
I love Dominique and all, she’s my cousin and one of my best friends, second only to Herman; but seriously that girl may have beauty and charm but she really is missing a chromosome or two.
Impressed by my use of muggle terminology? I would.
“I don’t know Dom, it seems like considering the whole three hour train ride you two were either snogging each other’s faces off or talking about how much you hate each other.”
Dom blushes. “You really think he likes me?”
There really is no getting through to this one.
I sigh, might as well give her what she wants. “ I think so Dom.” She squeals and rushes off to tell Katie Brown, her best friend whenever I refuse to cooperate with her girlish needs.
She doesn’t understand me.
“HERMAN! JOSH! GET YOUR ARSE OVER HERE AND HELP ME CARRY MY BAGS TO THE THESTRALS!” I yell, seriously whatever happened to chivalry? Herman turns around smirks at me stood outside the train with my extremely heavy trunk and simply continues to walk ahead with Josh as the two of them begin to laugh.
It really is times like these when I wish was a Gryffindor, us Ravenclaws are too bloody annoying.
“Need any help?” I knew he couldn’t stay away from me for long.
“I knew you wanted me Jakey.” I whisper, my attempt at sounding somewhat sexy.
“Seriously Roxanne, you’re still doing this?” He says sighing.
“Doing what sugarplum?” I ask innocently, sliding my fingers up and down his arms. Honestly, normally I’m not like this, but Jake brings out my inner goddess.
I like to call her Candy.
“But I love you.”
“ Seriously Jakey-cake, we would have such pretty babies.”
“OH MY GOD ROXANNE STOP IT.”
Honestly, he may be perfect but that boy sure has a temper. He takes a deep breath and stares at me, “Here’s the deal, I help you carry your bags, you do not speak and everyone’s happy.”
“No buts Roxanne, I either help you or your dragging these by yourself.”
“I love you.”
“ROXANNE?!” He yells turning around to look at me, maybe that was too far? I know Jake’s sensitive, but come on, I would love to have someone tell me they love me on a daily, maybe hourly basis.
Sweet Merlin, this boy is messing with my hormones, he cannot be doing this.
This is abuse I tell you, Jake Thomas is wearing shorts and he is not allowng me to compliment his extremely attrictive backside.
Pure and utter abuse I tell you.
My father will hear about this. (actually he won’t because if my Dad realises that I have hormones he will most likely lock me up in my bedroom never to be seen again.)
“Jake your bottom looks particularly scrumptious in those trousers.”
“ I swear to Circe Roxanne…”
Sweet Merlin he’s bending down, someone get me a camera.
A/N: Did ya like it? Leave a review! Btw, I forgot to mention that I do not always share my views with Roxanne, because we must remember that she is a figment of the imagination and is as nutty as a fruitcake.
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