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Never Fade by padfootandprongs25
Chapter 17 : Chapter 17
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 6

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WARNING: substance use/abuse  

“She said that? She didn’t seriously mean it though right?” Rosie asked Alex panicky.

the three girls were sat in James lounge watching the snow fall down the window, Lily had gone for a walk to clear her head, James, Sirius and Peter were playing Quidditch and Remus was sat on the over side of the room reading, Louise loved watching him he looked so peaceful, it was so hard to imagine he was a werewolf he was so quiet, kind and a little shy. Louise couldn’t help but feel she was falling in love with him very quickly, but she couldn’t tell whether he was feeling like that either.

“I don’t know, I mean I hope not, she’s such a talented witch and plus there’s not much she can do about it now is there?” Alex said reassuringly. Louise turned back to face them rejoining the conversation.

“It was probably just a spur of the moment thing, she’s upset about her sister and upset about James, give her time” Louise whispered not wanting Remus to hear.

“I just feel sorry for her I mean your sister doesn’t hate you and you’re muggle-born?” Rosie asked curiously.

“No me and my sister have a great relationship, there has been times but it’s just jealousy, I mean come on say we weren’t witches and we found our siblings were and they could do all these cool things with a flick of a stick we would be jealous, it’s just Lily’s sister has taken jealousy to a whole new level” Louise hissed.

“Her sister is a bitch” Alex said darkly.

“I know, I met her once when I went to see Lily a couple of summers ago and she opened the door and I said ‘Hi is Lily here, im a friend from school’ she practically spat in me face and slammed the door, I was like rude much?” Rosie added.

“I hope she’s ok” Louise said hopefully.

She stood up and made her way out of the room and into the kitchen, not to her surprise James and Sirius were in there pigging out even though dinner was in a couple of hours and James’ house elves were pleased to serve them.

“You two take advantage of them” Louise told them.

“Hey, they’re nice house elves you should meet mine, he’s disgusting, Kreacher his name is, all he says is ‘Yes Master Regulus’ ‘Of course Master Regulus’ ‘Anything for you Master Regulus’ ‘Master Sirius is a blood traitor brat’ ‘master Sirius had broken my mistresses heart’ he’s charming” Sirius chuckled, James nodded, Louise rolled her eyes.

“Do you guys know if Lily’s back yet?” Louise asked them.

“No, she still not back from her walk?” James asked curiously. Louise shook her head.

“Im worried about her, that thing with her sister earlier today confused her a bit I think” Louise said thoughtfully.

“She’ll be fine” Sirius said just as they heard the front door open.

“Im back” Came Lily’s voice from the doorway.

Louise walked out the kitchen and went to meet Lily, when she got there Alex and Rosie were already there asking if she was ok, Lily smiled and told them she was fine, to be truthful Louise thought she looked it, maybe the snow had done her good.

“Is it beautiful outside?” Louise asked her when they were all sat in Rosie’s bedroom.

“It’s gorgeous, how about us four go on a girly walk tomorrow?” Lily suggested.

“Yes let’s go on a girly walk” Alex giggled.

“Oh and by the way, I don’t wish I was a muggle, im so proud to be special, life wouldn’t of been easier for me im happy the way I am” Lily smiled. The girls cheered and had a massive group hug.

“So what’s going on with you and Jamesy?” Rosie teased. Lily blushed.

“Nothing and if im honest I don’t think anything ever will” Lily sighed.

“You need to make it happen” Louise told her.

“Im with Paul remember?” Lily reminded them, they all groaned Lily hit them, “Hey, he’s sweet, ugh I’ve got to be kidding he drives me insane” Alex giggled.

“You can do better” Rosie reassured her.

“Like who? The better people don’t want me remember Ro?” Lily shot at her.

“James loves you Lily” Alex sang.

“Sirius loves you Alex” Lily sang back, Alex rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, hey guess what, I got out the shower this morning and my necklace was on my bed, like just left there on my bed like I had put it on there, I haven’t thanked him, I just can’t bring myself to wear it again” Alex sighed rolling up her selves Louise didn’t blame her James had turned up the heating and it was boiling in here, Louise was just about to comment on this when she noticed some deep scars on her best friends arm.

“Alex what the hell is that?” Louise said shocked, pulling Alex’s arm towards her.

“Nothing” Alex muttered.

“Don’t lie to me” Louise hissed.

“Im not” Alex retorted.

“Where the hell did you get them?” Rosie asked her. Alex sighed giving in.

“I did them myself” Alex murmured, exchanging glances with Lily.

“Why?” Louise practically shrieked, “And did you know?” she added to Lily.

“Yes I knew, don’t panic she stopped a few days ago” Lily tried to reassure them.

“Well that makes me feel better” Louise spat.

“I started self-harming when me and Sirius broke up and I started doing it severely since that night we talked in the library, I also started taking drugs for a while but I have stopped that too, please guys I would’ve told you but I didn’t want to ruin Christmas” Alex pleaded, Louise looked at her, Alex looked hurt and broken, Louise had never seen her look so weak, Sirius messed with her head turned her into a person she wasn’t.

“Oh Alex you’ve been going through this alone” Rosie cried.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Louise asked her close to tears.

“Because I didn’t want to worry you, I’m fine now, honestly nobody else seemed to notice not even Daniel when we slept together, I just want to forget about them, I honestly do” Alex smiled at them, Louise rolled her eyes and shook her head pulling all her friends into a giant bear hug.

It was almost dinner time and James’ elf had come up to tell them James was serving fish and chips in the lounge on trays and would they kindly join him, Master Sirius, Master Remus and Master Peter. The girls made their way down to the lounge feeling hungry and ready to eat.


“Ladies” Sirius welcomed the girls who had just come from upstairs, Remus noticed that they all looked a little sad but were trying to look happy, Louise came and sat by him and he kissed her on the cheek.

“What’s up?” he whispered in her ear.

“Tell you later” She muttered back, Remus put his arm around her and kissed her on the head. Everyone was silent during the dinner the only noises were Sirius and James wolfing down their food, desert came and went silently. Everyone seemed to notice there was tension but nobody knew why.

“Right” Sirius cried, everyone jumped everyone was so used to sitting in silence, “let’s play magical truth, dare and kiss”.

“How do you mean, magical? I’ve never heard of it” Rosie said.

“Just because you haven’t heard of it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist” Sirius shot at her, Rosie looked a little offended.

“Ok, I think what Rosie means is how is it magical and how do you play?” Lily asked politely.

“Well basically, it’s like muggle spin the bottle but the bottle is charmed if you get dare it won’t let you sleep until you do it, if you get truth and you lie your tongue will stick to the top of your mouth and we don’t know how to reverse it and if you get kiss well there’s no charm on that but Sirius will come up with a punishment if you don’t do it” James explained. Remus chuckled.

“How about if you don’t kiss the person you have to do a dare” Remus suggested.

“Sounds good Moony” Peter agreed, Sirius and James nodded, the girls shrugged and followed them into James’ lounge. Lily looked worried and Remus thought he knew why, Sirius was bound to ask about James so he pulled her to the side.

“Lily?” He asked her, she turned to look at him, “I’ll have a word with Sirius” she breathed and looked more relaxed, she smiled at him and mouthed ‘thanks’. They walked into the lounge where James and Sirius were sat down waiting.

“Padfoot? Can I have a word?” Remus yelled at Sirius from the door.

“Anything for you moonykins” Sirius grinned cheekily following him out of the room. They walked into the hallway where Remus turned to face Sirius.

“I know it’s all part of the fun of the game but don’t go asking Lily anything about James” Remus warned him, Sirius looked disappointed, “look Padfoot she should tell him when she wants to remember they both have partners at the moment so don’t mess with their heads you can talk to James about Lily but not vice versa”.

“COME ON MOONY” Sirius whined.

“Padfoot, it’s cruel leave it” Remus said dangerous, Sirius nodded but huffed and puffed all the way back to the living and when they got back into the lounge Lily raised her eyebrows at Sirius who stuck his tongue out at her. James raised his eyebrows in suspicion.

“What was that all about?” He asked curiously.

“Your Christmas present” Remus said before Sirius could answer, James looked satisfied as he jumped to the floor and pulled out the bottle. They were all sat in a big circle; Remus sat down next to Sirius and James, boys on one side girls on another.

“Right” James said excitedly clapping his hands together, “I shall spin first to decide who the bottle lands on, you know the rules are you ready?” Everyone nodded, so James span, it landed on Peter, who gulped nervously.

“Pete; truth, kiss or dare?” James asked him.

“Truth” Peter whispered, Remus felt a little sorry for him, Peter was a shy person and not good and doing dares, kisses or truths when they played this game.

“Okay doke, we’ll do an easy one first Wormtail, Have you ever fancied as in; had the hots for one of these four beautiful ladies? If so who?” James asked him excitement building up in his eyes, Remus rolled his eyes.

“Yes” Peter muttered, all the girls went bright red probably hoping it wasn’t them.

“Oooooooh who?” Sirius asked with a wink.

“Louise second year” Peter murmured.

Louise went scarlet and Remus burst out laughing, she shot him death glares but that made him laugh even more, Sirius and James were wetting themselves and Peter was blushing furiously. Lily was trying to hold back a laugh as was Rosie, but Alex looked exactly like Sirius and James. When everyone had finished laughing, they returned to the game.

“Looks like you have a bit of competition Moony” James chuckled.

“Shut up” Peter hissed, still blushing, Remus patted him on the back and Peter started to smile.

“Right Pete, spin” Sirius yelled.

Peter took the bottle tried to spin it and failed, it look three attempts to spin it properly and James and Sirius were looking pretty impatient by then, but eventually it landed on Rosie, who grinned.

“Dare” She smirked, James and Sirius gave her their impressed face.

“Umm you have to umm, wear a pair of James’ boxers on your head until your next go” Peter squeaked, James blushed, Rosie grinned and Lily laughed.

“Accio James’ ugliest pants” Sirius said with mischief wrote all over his face.

As quick as a flash a pair of bright yellow boxers with the words ‘too sexy’ wrote over the bum in a sicky green and bright green spots all over them came flying down the stairs. They fell in Rosie’s lap, she pulled them over her head and Remus reached over to grab his camera and snapped a picture of her.

“Okay” Rosie said as she spun the bottle, it landed on Alex; she bit her lip and smiled.

“Umm kiss” She said winking at Peter who went as red as a tomato, James sniggered.

“You have to kiss Sirius” Rosie smirked at her.

Alex’s face dropped and everyone sat in silence for about ten seconds wondering what the reactions would be, Lily started to giggle and James started to laugh hysterically, Alex glared at Rosie and Sirius puckered his lips towards her, she glared at him.

“Set yourself up for that one” Louise pointed out.

“See I just thought you’d be kind enough to choose anyone other than my ex-boyfriend” Alex snapped at Rosie who winked at her.

“Ah what type of kiss though?” James asked winking at Alex who growled.

“Snog? No tongues though” Louise suggested. A large grin spread across James’ face who obviously thought it would be hilarious to see his best friend have to snog his ex.

“Fine” Alex muttered, “Let’s get this over with”.

“Now, now darling don’t look to angry about it” Sirius chortled at her. Alex scowled and moved forwards. Sirius moved towards her too so they were right In the middle of the circle.

“Why is it you I always end up kissing” Alex hissed.

Sirius smirked at her before literally lunging into it, Alex looked quite shocked but went with it, everyone in the room started sniggering and laughing, Peter picked up Remus’ camera and snapped a picture. When they eventually pulled apart Sirius grinned at her and Alex blushed.

“Right Al, your go” Lily sniggered. Alex blinked and grabbed the bottle, she spun it and it landed on James who looked eager to answer.

“Truth” He grinned playfully.

“Kay, why did you never give up on Lily even though she turned you down all those times?” Alex asked him curiously, Lily looked down at her hands and James blushed.

“Um I guess it’s because um I hoped that she would um eventually say yes” He muttered.

Lily sighed and closed her eyes, looking like she’d rather be any place but here right now. James coughed and Lily looked up but not meeting his eyes, he spun the bottle and it landed on Sirius who looked excited.

“Dare” He grinned.

“Right Padfoot you have to sit there in the starker’s with just a pillow over your man bits for 15 minutes” James challenged.

Sirius who looked eager to do anything whipped of all his clothes and pulled a cushion over his privates in less than 30 seconds, all the girls were giggling and James was applauding him. Sirius reached out for the bottle and cushion fell off, Remus, James and Pete shouted at him and all the girls went ‘eww’ but Sirius didn’t look at all embarrassed he just grinned and pulled the cushion over himself again.

Rosie grabbed the camera and took a photo of Sirius grinning. He spun the bottle and it landed on Lily who looked panicked as it was Sirius who decided her fate, he raised his eyebrows at her and Remus shot him and warning look as Lily took a deep breath and whispered.

“Truth” Sirius eyes lit up, Remus could see why she had picked truth, she knew if she picked dare it would be horrible and if she picked kiss it would be James.

“Do you have feelings for Prongs?” Sirius asked quickly.

James’ head spun around as he had been chatting to Peter, all the girls stared at Lily with looks of worry on their faces obviously knowing she couldn’t lie. Remus looked at Sirius and caught eyes with him and shook his head, Sirius ignored him. Lily stood up.

“I don’t wanna play anymore” she muttered before heading out of the room and up the stairs.

James was staring at her with his mouth wide open, Sirius who had raised his eyebrows at her and the girls were glaring at him. Remus shook his head at Sirius who looked a little ashamed of himself, Sirius sighed and got up and walked out the room following Lily upstairs.


Lily ran to her room and could feel tears streaming down her cheeks, she had never been so embarrassed, Sirius had promised, now James would know, she didn’t want him to know she wanted to get over him, Hannah would murder her.

Lily let out a frustrated growl and threw her pillow across the room, the pillow didn’t do any damage and she still felt sick with anger, she sat down on her bed and put her head in her hands trying to ignore the sickness in her stomach. There was suddenly a loud knock on the door, Lily jumped fearing James’ voice coming from the other side, and she ignored it. The knock came again but this time it came with a voice.

“Lily” Came the deep voice of Sirius Black, Lily groaned and ignored him again.

“Lily, open up come on, Lily I know you’ve locked this door but I can unlock it so simply, I think you forget we can use magic now” He reminded her, she cursed him under her breath, got up and made her way to the door, she flung it open and Sirius was stood there with guilt written all over his face.

“What?” She hissed.

“Im sorry” He muttered.

“Is that all you can say? Im sorry? Seriously? That’s all, Sirius you promised you complete git, I was going to do it at the right time and now I can’t face him again, im humiliated” She snapped.

“Lily im honestly sorry but nobody wants you two to get together more than me, I just thought I’d speed up the process” he said cheekily, Lily sighed giving him a weak smile. He leant forward and hugged her she returned it.

“I am honestly sorry Lily, I’ll talk to him, I’ll convince him, if anyone can it’s me I swear, I’ll unbreakable vow you” Sirius insisted.

Lily smiled shaking her head. She said goodnight to Sirius and closed the door, she led down on her bed wishing that this night hadn’t happened and hoping everyone would’ve forgotten about it.

Please review:), I hope you’re enjoying it so far, if not please tell me why and I would like your feedback, positive or negative:).

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