Chapter 2 : Don't you know ?
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A big thank you to all those who added my story to their alert and favorite list. I felt great to know that people find my story interesting.
I’m terribly sorry for taking more time than I had initially planned, to update. Lots of others things have kept me awfully pre-occupied. Nevertheless, here’s the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.
amazing image by SlytherinGodess11 @TDA
When she wore the Seeker’s sweater
2. Don’t you know?
There was another sound that startled Lily and she clutched James closer.
Their moment was broken.
James had a hard time biting back a deep groan as Lily pressed her delicate little body. Her body heat made him sweat in the cold darkness. He really needed to get out… get them both out.
“It’s just the paintings.” He said in a low voice. She was breathing on his neck. Bloody fucking hell!
James was walking with Lily Evan pressed close to him and she wasn’t complaining or getting uncomfortable with his hand possessively around her waist. It was a miracle that he could remember the detours inspite of the wondrous smell of Lily’s shampoo.
Just as he was thinking of how to break the awkward silence that had ensued since their arrival with her still in his arms despite the absence of any impeding worry, Lily gasped again, “James!”
She had to stop gasping his name. Really. He was a human being. A young hormonal man, in fact. He could only take so much. If he heard “James” one more time in a Lily-gasping tone, he was going to absolutely lose it after which, he reckoned, he couldn’t possibly be blamed for his actions which would involve throwing the red-head against the wall and sucking on…
“James!” Fuck! Lily, would you stop, already. His mind groaned.
“There’s a swelling!” she said, quickly moving close to him and standing on her toes again.
Great, Lily. Just great. First mold that hot little body of yours on a man whose been in love with you since forever, then whimper in that innocent way, then gasp his name a hundred times and to do the do job thoroughly, get close to him again and worry over some stupid swelling so that the man completely loses his fucking mind!
Why was Voldemort the Dark Lord? This girl could seriously give him a run for his money with her severely wicked plans.
“Merlin!” the new Dark Lord went on without realizing even one percent of his misery, “you bruise like a peach, Potter”
Okay. This caught his attention. James Potter does not like being referred to as a peach.
“It was an accident yesterday, right here at the same spot. It’s nothing really. Just throbs a little bit.”
“What accident?” she asked suspiciously, her voice getting into her Queen-of-righteousness mode.
“Nothing. Just fooling around with the boys…” he mumbled, guiltily. Wait, why was he feeling guilty explaining this to her? It wasn’t as if she were his gi…
“Fooling around? Merlin, James when would you guys grow up? What did you do?” she asked with narrowed eyed; her small nose reddening a little which happened every time she was about to explode.
Fiery Lily Evans was a hot sight! It made him want to haul her on the bed and feel her writhing beneath him. He wondered how it would feel to have her roll him over and suck on neck, biting and nibbling with the same fieriness. He would move his hands all over her body and feel her…Wait, her lips were still moving. She was still talking.
James! He berated himself. Focus, mate. Your girl is still talking. You need to listen no matter how hypnotizing her lips may be.
Okay. Now she’s asking you something. Respond, idiot.
Yes, very eloquent Potter.
“ I mean, sure Lily. Whatever you like” he mumbled, feeling that agreeing with her was the best response.
“You’re ready to stop playing quidditch?”
“What?” he yelled in distraught, as though she had asked him to donate his left arm.
Lily giggled. James looked terrified.
“I knew you weren’t listening!” she said punching him playfully.
Was he dreaming? She was giggling and laughing and hitting him playfully.
“Ow.. .woman !” he said clutching his shoulder dramatically.
“It wasn’t a fight, Lily. Something else.” He continued, looking away. “it was just…mm…yesterday…nothing..just…”
“Remus?” she said in a delicate tone
He didn’t need to answer. She mumbled something about fixing his swelling and went towards the bathroom.
Sitting on the couch he thought of how she knew about Remus’s transformations and their being animagi from a very long time. She was always so compassionate and kind about it. It made him fall for her deeper. For someone who was annoyingly hell bent on rules, she told no one about their secret. Ever since they had been elected as Head Boy and Girl and received their own Dorm, Lily would wait up every full moon for James to come back. She would be sitting on the couch in her pyjamas reading a book and he would enter in bruised and exhausted, sometimes at the verge of collapsing at the door. She would help him to his room, tend to his bruises and keep his breakfast ready on the table next morning. They never spoke of those nights. The connection was fueled with silence, a peaceful silence where no words were required.
“Look up James” the voice of his beautiful drew his attention
She sat sideways; her knees bent, and leaned over with a small cotton ball in her soft hand. Drawing her face closer to his, she blew over his swelling.
He felt something cool over his forehead, as Lily pressed the cotton ball over his swelling in the lightest of ways.
His arm was behind her, resting on the couch. The sweater that she wore, which was his, he reminded himself rather proudly, had fallen off to one side, displaying her creamy shoulder. A thin black strap ran over her skin, reminding him again that the only thing separating his sweater and her breasts was her bra. A black bra. He couldn’t stop staring at it.
Lily’s eyes travelled to where James was looking and she blushed a color rivaling her hair.
“Er…”she began nervously. “Am sorry I took your sweater. It was cold in the morning and nothing else was there and it shows inter house…I mean… head boy-girl unity.. and.. I’ll give it back to you..its…”
“No!” he yelled, then composed himself at her startled look. “I mean, keep it. Looks better on you. I mean, it looks nice on your body. I mean… Fuck !” he groaned, closing his eyes.
He was so sure he’d positively made her uncomfortable. She began giggling. He opened his eyes and looked at her, enchanted.
She was sitting next to him, so very close, trying to fix an insignificant wound, her hair falling out of her bun, his sweater completely to one side showing off more skin than she would ever intend to, her lips open wide into child-like laughter and her eyes blushing nervously.
He leaned in without realizing.
She was something out of this world and he wanted to touch her. He felt like a little boy who had always been fascinated with the unreachable fastest broom and wanted to feel it desperately.
He caught her hand in mid air and dismissed the cotton ball.
Her eyes quickly gave in and she lowered her gaze. He placed her hand on his chest and softly, almost as if scared he would bruise her with his strong hold, he pulled her in, bringing her closer to his body. He closed his eyes and drank in the scent of her shampoo. It took him a huge part of effort not to groan and bury his face in her long, smooth red locks. His other hand, fumbled in his pocket to draw out a golden chain with a round pendant. He lowered his face to her level and looked at her beautiful features; her eyes were closed, a deep blush evident on her creamy cheek and her lips were parted slightly…her soft, red lips that almost made him want to fall on his knees in a blank surrender to his desire for them. Her body trembled just a little which made his heart plunge hard.
Lily felt something cool snaking around her neck. At first she squeaked, getting startled, and opened her eyes to look at him. But he wasn’t looking at her. James’ full concentration lay in setting a golden necklace around her neck. He trailed his fingers along the pendent-a small round golden ball- and in doing so, the back of his hand grazed against her warm skin between her breasts. She had to bite her lower lip from gasping. Lily never imagined that one, almost innocent touch from James would make her feel this way. She never imagined that it would make her feel so much.
“You came to see me today, Lily. Just me.” he said like an innocent honest boy who held his favorite candy in hand but couldn’t quite believe that he had got it.
She nodded, not wanting to pretend otherwise. His voice had such honesty in it, such integrity that it made her trust him implicitly. It made her realize just how much it meant to him that she went to see only him.
The back of his hand was still pressed against the valley of breasts. He turned his hand and opened his palms to let her see the pendant.
She gasped aloud this time.
It was a snitch. His snitch. The one he caught today. He had shrunk it and put it in a chain. To give it to her.
“James !” she exclaimed, astonished.
He held his snitch in his open palm and stared at it intently. He couldn’t take his eyes off the sight … the sight of his golden snitch adorning the neck of his Lily.
“James.” She almost whimpered. “James, its your snitch!” she said as if she thought James had forgotten about it.
“Yes, it is” he said simply, continuing to stare at the pendant glowing against her skin.
“do you know what you’re doing” she squeaked in a small voice, her body shivering right now.
Any seeker who caught the snitch, got to keep it. It was one of his most prized possessions which he never gave out that easily. But that wasn’t what made Lily tremble. It was a popularly known tradition that the seeker only gave his snitch to the girl who he was truly in love with. It was a present, once given never to be taken back or returned. It was a claim…a seal… a promise. A promise of making her his and being hers forever.
She wanted to cry. What was he doing ? Why was he playing with her like this ?
“Yes” the answer to her question rolled out his lips without a second of hesitation. He turned the snitch over and she saw through the dim light, faint alphabets – ‘Lily’.
“Every snitch I ever caught is exactly like this. You will be the only one I would want to give this to. Every single time. My snitch always belonged to Lily Evans and will always belong to her.”
She was trembling hard. He sounded so sure…so determined. It made her mind hazy. She wasn’t even his girlfriend and he was giving her the snitch. His voice…his eyes…the honesty in them… it made her heart weak. He even got her name on it. She wanted to reach out to him, wrap her arms around him and cling to him like he was the only one alive. Then again, he was indeed the only one alive…the only one for her. She wanted to hold him, be held by him. She wanted to bury her head in his neck, close her eyes and breathe in his scent. She wanted to forget everything else and lose herself in James Potter. For the first time, she allowed her feminine delicacy to consciously take over and let her hand crawl to his chest, weakly fisting the fabric of his shirt in her small hand and looked up like a scared little girl. Her eyes were desperate, begging him not to play with her thoughts.
“James, please” her small voice cracked with emotion, her lips quivered and eyes moistened.
James placed his hand on her cheek to bring her closer. His arm moved around her shoulders and trailed lower to settle on her back. He held her strongly, insistently trying to convey that she would always be safe with him. His handsome face broke into a smile. But it was a smile she had never witnessed before and it left her breathless.
He smiled in open surrender, making her realize that he was more vulnerable than she was and that he was not going to do anything to hide it. He wanted to let her know it.
Her eyes roamed over his face, mesmerized by his features. But it was his eyes that made her lose it completely. She looked into his deep eyes which made her realize that her fear of falling in love with him was of no consequence anymore because she was already in love with him.
Then next instant, her face lost all tension, her astonishment and desperation disappeared, only to be replaced by a blank look of acceptance. She looked at him in open admission, not hiding her vulnerability or the emotion in her eyes; that emotion, which James always wanted to see and which she had been trying to hide for so long- the emotion of irrevocable love.
She remained still, waiting for his next move. He could do whatever he wanted and she wouldn’t stop him. They both knew that. He could hurt her…break her in that one moment and she would shatter into pieces without fighting back.
She was in love with him. And she would accept whatever he gave her because it was ‘he’ was giving it to her.
He leaned forward to press his lips to hers.
She froze, petrified.
Her lips were soft and warm and the first taste was pure magic. He wasn’t even kissing her yet. Their lips were pressed together, joint in a perfect fit. He breathed in the same air as hers and that itself poisoned his senses to lose control. Just one touch of her lips and he felt every single perverted, dirty and forbidden desire creep into his mind. As each second ticked by, he found his desire turn into an irrational and urgent need; a need which if not satisfied would make him lose his fucking mind.
He wanted to taste her. He had too. It was too painful.
Very softly, he moved his lips over hers, nibbling and sucking. A groan escaped his throat and his hands tightened around her body drawing her still closer. She was practically in his lap, obediently following his touches; her small form completely engulfed in his strong arms.
He traced his tongue along her lower lip once, experimenting a taste. His hand moved from her cheek to rest hotly on her exposed shoulder. She squirmed in his lap and moaned aloud. He took that opportunity to move his tongue inside her mouth deepening the kiss.
The slow, sensual kiss turned into a heated teenage snog. His tongue stroking hers, was a like a trigger to her own desires and she threw her arms around his neck, plastering her body to his and kissed him back with every ounce of passion she possessed. It took him a few seconds to get over the sudden shock of Lily’s response after which his own arms brought her impossibly closer. He was sure his grip on her body would leave bruises but he couldn’t help it.
In the next minute a series if things happened in a flash.
They broke apart gasping for breath, staring intently at each other. He looked at her in a clear intention of wanting to ravish her. Without asking for permission he got off and placed his hands beneath her neck and knees. Carrying her bridal style he moved towards her room. She wound her hands around his neck and pressed her lips to his neck, ears and cheek in innocent kisses. He growled kicking the door closed and almost threw her on her bed and climbed over her. Before she had a chance to moan at the feeling of his entire body pressed against hers, he had latched his mouth over hers again, this time like a man possessed by lust and open desire.
His hands were everywhere and she whimpered beneath him. The hard palms traced her impossibly soft skin, gently squeezing and stroking. His other hand moved along her waist and stomach, reveling in the intoxicating feeling of her skin that was exposed when her … his sweater had ridden up.
Fuck, he wanted more.
Pulling away from her mouth, he ignored her disappointed sigh and rained open mouthed kisses on her neck and shoulder; biting, licking and sucking till she was positively squirming under him. She wanted him to touch her. More. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, feel his muscles flexing under palms and his tongue over her body. The intensity of the desire frightened her and she thought she needed to stop him before things go out of hand.
Her hands reached the bottom of his shirt to pull it off his body.
Lily moaned, her eyes unblinkingly staring at his naked chest. He was so… beautiful.
“James” she moaned, looking up him. Her arms raised like a small kid urging him to come closer.
His heart throbbed in his chest. I love you, Lily. I love you. I love you. I love you. His mind screamed over and over again but the words were caught up in his throat, constricted by an unnamed emotion.
“Lily” he gasped, reverently hoping that, that one word would convey to her his sentiment of absolute devotion for her.
He kissed her again, his hands getting bolder. Their clothes were increasingly making him angry. In one swift motion he brought both her hands over her head and wordlessly peeled his sweater from her body. His hands and mouth were everywhere after that… rubbing her stomach, stroking her waist, licking and sucking the tops of her breasts, biting, nibbling…
Her lips were close to his ears and he could hear the smallest of noises she made. Lily made such cute, lovely sounds. If she continued to moan and mewl this way, he would be forced into losing any amount of restrain that was left in him.
The night was dead quiet except for the sounds of heavy breathing and sheets ruffling. His groans and her whimpers filled the air with an essence of pure physical lust.
Trailing his lips along her jaw, chin, throat, neck…moving tortuously slow and deep, he reached to the tops of her breasts suckling hard and moved finally to her shoulders, biting her soft flesh. She groaned. This time he could swear he heard the faint sound of “James”. Fuck !
Taking her bra strap between his teeth, he lowered it off her shoulder. The action was simple but it made them both shudder. He was going to see her in a further state of undress…was going to touch her some more. Lily bit her lip nervously. Her hands travelled over his smooth chest, feeling the bumps and pecks of his muscles. She looked up at him nervously, almost terrified.
Her green eyes flashed the emotion of absolute trust. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and stroked her skin with his thumb.
In the silence of the night, lying half naked beneath James, completely covered by his equally naked form, being held in his arms, Lily’s lips curved into a shy smile and her eyes lowered in a deep blush.
And that is what made James’ stop.
Her smile…it reached her eyes, lighting up her whole face. And her soft blush… fuck! She was so innocent and pure. She was in love with him. If he was unsure before, he wasn’t anymore. He didn’t feel that way because she had allowed him to touch her so intimately, he felt that way because she allowed him to see her naked emotions so openly; an act that was far more intimate than physical touch.
Lily looked at him, confused. He seemed so conflicted. What was bothering him ?
“James?” she asked in a small voice.
He closed his eyes and she felt like he was having a serious inner battle.
Her hand moved to cover his which rested on her cheek, and she lovingly stroked his wrist and fingers.
He opened his eyes and looked at her with a silent plea, as if requesting her for something. She would gladly granted her request had she known what it was.
He shook his head and bent lower to kiss her forehead. His lips remained pressed against her skin for a minute longer as if deriving strength from her.
His eyes found hers again and stuttered, “Lily, we…” he gulped, “we…lily”
“what’s wrong, James?”
Be a man, James, he thought to himself. You know you have to do this.
“Lily, we should stop” he said in one breath.
Her hand that was immediately pulled away like it had been burnt. It made James’ heart hurt inside. But he had to do this. He had to do this for her… for the both of them.
“Am sorry. I cant.. we shouldn’t. Lily. i.. please… fuck !” he mumbled, talking in broken words.
Lily adjusted her strap and suddenly felt very self conscious. She was fighting hard not to let the tears escape her eyes.
Oh god ! no ! He was hurting her. He could see it. She looked so…rejected. No, Lily please. He silently pleaded. His mind was so messed up, no coherent words came out of his mouth. He moved to kiss her cheek once again, but she turned her face away.
“Lily. Am…” he started again but nothing seemed to make sense.
“I should go” he said in a low defeated voice. His hand stroked her hair and he kissed the side of her forehead despite her refusal to react.
He picked up shirt and left the room.
Neither of them slept that night.
He didn’t see Lily the next morning, nor in any of the classes. He aimlessly walked around with his broom and went to fly, missing a couple of his classes too. The partial relief of feeling the cool air of the sky was short lived when several girls stood below the ground and admired him, giggling and trying to get his attention, flirtatiously. On other days he would’ve entertained them for fun but today was no ordinary day. Lily’s essence was still on his body, on his lips, on his mind…
He walked to the great hall for dinner. He wasn’t hungry at all but he didn’t want to miss the chance to see if Lily was there.
“Feel better?” asked Sirius in a low voice. James had told Sirius what happened the day before. Well, not all the details but a fair gist and like always, Sirius was there for him.
“Yeah” James mumbled.
He ignored the deathly glare Isa, who sat opposite to them, was giving him. So, Lily must’ve told her what happened.
“Isa, cut it out” Sirius said.
“No Sirius, I won’t! Potter can’t just sit here like everything’s fine when Lily has been crying for god knows…”
But James wasn’t listening anymore because his attention was totally drawn towards the girl who had just entered.
It was Lily and she looked horrible. Not her appearance. Oh, she looked beautiful as always… but her eyes. She looked down right hurt, exhausted and defeated.
But even her eyes weren’t what caught his attention.
It was her hand that was being held by one Mathew Adams, who was standing a little too close to her, smiling broadly.
In that one instant, James Potter knew what it meant to have a broken heart.
I love you. Don’t you know?
I want to touch you. Don’t you know?
I want to hold you. Don’t you know?
You’re the only one on my mind. Don’t you know?
My heart has only you’re name. Don’t you know?
Don’t cry, my pretty…
I know you’re hurt.
But I’m hurt so much more. Don’t you know?
AN: It would mean a lot to know what you think of it. Please review.
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