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Love How It Hurts by ACx
Chapter 1 : Love How It Hurts
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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 Hi! So this is a little one-shot I made up about Snape and Lily while sitting on a random bench somewhere in the park! Hope you like it anyway, Enjoy!
Disclaimer- Unfortunatley I am not JKR so everything here that you recognise is probably hers! However, the plot is all mine! :)

I watched as Lily walked away from me for what would be the last time.

Her long white dress trailed behind her and her beautiful hair cascaded down her back in soft, bronze curls. On her rose petal lips she wore a delicate smile, a smile which lit up her emerald eyes which were filled with love for the man I loathed so much.

My heart hammered in my chest and a pain tore through me that was almost unbearable. But I had experienced this pain once before, and as I sat here in the little church I thought back to that day…

Start of Seventh Year at Hogwarts


I watched Lily as she lay back on the soft grass at the edge of the lake. Opposite her at the other side of the lake, also watching her, was Potter. As usual, he had a snitch in his hands, showing off, trying to get Lily’s attention. But not once did she look at him.

She turned and looked over at me, her smile faltering slightly when she realised I had been staring. I raised my hand in a half-hearted wave, but dropped it quickly to my side again when Potter realised I was waving at her.

I turned to walk away, but felt Potter and Black following anyway. In the pocket of my robes I gripped my wand tightly. I had promised I wouldn’t attack Potter in front of Lily anymore- it was the only reason she was talking to me again now.

I made it round the side of the castle before they caught up. Shoulder to shoulder, Potter and Black, the batman and robin of Hogwarts. Teetering behind them in the background, Lupin and Pettigrew had suspicious looks on there faces.

“What the hell do you want Potter?” I said, stopping and turning my full body towards them.

“I want to know why you were waving at Lily? I thought she made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing more to do with you,” he spoke just as calmly as I did, but under his robes I could see his hand twitching.

“What? Did Lily not tell you? She forgave me. She said my friendship was too much to lose. So why don’t you piss off, Potter, before you make me do something you’ll live to regret,” I sneered at him. I was glad to see the effect my words had had on both Black and Potter.

“She forgave you?” Black said, looking disgusted, but Potter spoke straight over him.

“Like I’m scared of you Snivellus. What are you going to do? Grease me to death?”

They all laughed. I looked around. The sun was setting over Hogwarts and most of the students were heading up to the castle for dinner.

“I did warn you,” I muttered, a dangerous smile spreading over my lips.

Potter was quick, but I was quicker. My wand was out in a second, the spell shooting out of my mouth before I could force it back.


 The spell hit him in the middle of the chest and his cocky smile froze on his face. I watched satisfied as the first gashes appeared on his chest and face, blood staining his shirt red.

I didn’t wait for his friends reactions. I turned and ran back up to the castle.

I could easily get expelled for a move like that, but I new I wouldn’t. James Potter would sooner eat troll bogies than admit to being beaten by Severus Snape.

I couldn’t help but let the enormous feeling of satisfaction run through my body. Potter had bullied me for near enough six years. He had finially gotten what he deserved.

Heading straight to the common room, I didn’t look back. I was meeting Lily tonight and I had to be ready…

That Night

 I sat in our room, a disused classroom away from all civilisation in Hogwarts. The only sounds were that of the wind and the owls leaving the owlery for the night.

I turned as Lily walked into the room. Her auburn hair fell in waves past her shoulders and her green eyes twinkled in the moonlight streaming in the windows. She walked straight over to me and sat down.

“I heard what happened with Potter today,” she said, her voice shaking ever so slightly, almost like she was afraid.

I made no comment, but let her continue, gently tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Sirius told me. You know a spell like that could have gotten you expelled. It could have killed James.”

“But it didn’t,” I said defensively. “It just gave him a taste of his own medicine.”

“James doesn’t use spells fit for use by Death Eaters,” she said loudly jumping up and glaring at me.

“Since when did you start calling him James?” I asked, disgustedly.

“Since he became grown up enough not to hex people just because they felt like it!”

“Is that what Black told you? That I hexed him because I felt like it? You should stop believing everything he tells you Lily, most of it’s a load of shit!” I shouted at her, annoyed she would believe that arse so easily.

She blinked and then turned to leave, tears filling her eyes. It wasn’t even a bad fight we were having, but it would turn into one if we continued.

I grabbed her arm and she turned.

“Please don’t go, Lils. I’m sorry I shouted. I’m just really stressed out.” I made my voice gentle and pleading and slowly she turned back toward me.

“I’m stressed as well. I don’t go round shouting.” She looked at me cautisly, worried I would snap.

“Well not all of us can have the amazing self control of Lily Evans, can we?” I said and she laughed. It sounded like tinkling bells and made my heart leap.

I pulled her back towards the centre of the room and stood right in front of her. The moonlight bleached her hair and skin white and all I could really see were her wonderful green eyes.

“I have to tell you something,” I said quitley trying to find the right words.

“What Severus? You know you can tell me anything,” she spoke softly, her delicate voice giving me the courage to say what I needed to say.

“I love you. Have since the moment I saw you and will until the day I die.”

The words were simple, but they hung in the air like someone had just sprayed perfume. Lily looked shocked, and almost in a trance opened her mouth.

“Sev- I think I should go.”

She started to turn, to leave me. So I took my chance.

I pulled her back round to face me and without giving myself time to think it through, I pressed my lips onto hers.

The kiss lasted a few seconds before she pulled away.

“I really should go now,” she whispered, tears building in her eyes.

“But, Lily-” I started to speak but she cut across me.

“Maybe its best if we don’t see each other for a while. Lets just give up. Lead the separate lives we’re supposed to lead.”

This time when she started to run, I didn’t stop her.

I dropped to my knees on the stone floor. Pain and rejection washed through me. The most unbearable pain ever. It spread from my heart, through my body. My breaths came in deep gasps as the tears dripped down my cheeks.

I had lost Lily, forever…


 “I do.”

Lily’s words brought me back to the present. Her arms were locked around Potters neck as she leaned in for their first kiss. The look on her face was the one I had always wished she would give me.

Once more the pain tore through me again. I knew as long as I loved Lily it would always be there, a dull ache in the back of my mind, never fully disappearing. And I knew that I would love Lily Evans forever.

I guess I just love how it hurts…

Well, hoped you liked it! It was a bit random, but I'd still love to hear what you think, so please review! Thanks for reading! x

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