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Christmas Caper's by magicmuggle01
Chapter 1 : Party Time.
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 14

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A/N: - This is my first venture into comedy, so please be kind in any review that you leave.


Twas the night before Christmas at the HPFF publishing house, and all was silent. Not a sound could be heard throughout the offices. The remains of a staff Christmas party could be seen littering the desks throughout, champagne bottles along with other wine bottles and beer bottles and half empty and empty glasses along with the remains of sausage rolls, brides and other foods littered the tables scattered around the office.

Suddenly, a strange glow could be seen emanating from one of the computers that had been accidentally left on, a glow that was a mixture of all the colours of the rainbow. Then over a period of a few seconds figures appeared and solidified around the office area.

Once the figures had finished materialising, they all looked around them, taking in the mess scattered around them with some distain. One of the people – a bald headed old coot with a flat face and red slanty looking snake eyes – spoke up with a sound of disgust in his voice.

‘Jay and the others could have at least tidied up after themselves before nicking off for the Christmas holidays.’

‘Now now my dear Tom’ said another voice ‘everyone’s entitled to let their hair down every once in a while. And with all the good work that HPFF do through out the year, they’re no different to anyone else, and are perfectly entitled to hold a party and release the pent up frustrations that develop throughout the year.’

‘It’s all very well for you to say that Dumbledore, but what about us? If we want our party, we’ll have to tidy up first.’

‘Well that shouldn’t be to difficult with our talents’ said a scruffy haired boy who wore glasses and had a scar on his forehead. And with a swish of his hand and his wand and stating ‘vanish’ all the rubbish disappeared in a flash.

‘There Volde, are you happy now?’ the youth said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

‘Watch it Potter’ Voldemort said with contempt in his voice, ‘we may have a truce every year at this particular time. But you’re skating on thin ice.’

‘Now now everyone, behave yourselves.’ Said Dumbledore – with a slight chuckle – ‘we came here to enjoy ourselves,’ so with a wave of his wand at a large conference table in which foods and drinks of all types appeared, from pumpkin pasties to muggle crisps and bottles of Butterbeer and Firewhisky and an extra large gramophone playing music from the Weirding Sisters. ‘Let the party begin.’

All appeared to be going well, people stood around talking and some were even dancing to the music. Dumbledore was even trying some sort of twists and turns that contorted parts of his body that were thought impossible to do. MacGonagall stood apart from the dancers looking on watching Dumbledore and shaking her head in wonder at his childish manner.

Somewhere in the distance a dreamy voice could be heard asking if there were any Horntailed Snarks or Dirigible Plums in the real world. But the peace and enjoyment was not to last. The first sign of trouble appeared when Voldemort walked across the dance floor with his face covered in pumpkin flesh and juice dripping down the front and back of his neck. He looked absolutely livid. Laughter could be heard coming from a group of people Voldemort had just walked passed, and walked up to Dumbledore who was speaking with Minnie.

‘This truce that you suggested with Potter is not going to work Dumbledore. Dumbledore took one look at Voldemort and nearly snorted with laughter, but just managed to cover up in time by coughing.

‘Look Tom, it’s been a long time, there’s a lot of hatred in the air. This pranking is just a way for them to blow of steam. You should be thankful, with so many people about who hate you; it could have gone the other way. So quite whining and show that you’re above all the shenanigans and enjoy yourself.’

At this suggestion, Voldemort thought to himself and slowly a smile developed across his white pale face, and he said ‘Ok Dumbledore, I’ll do what you suggest and enjoy myself.’

‘Good man’ replied Dumbledore, patting him on the back. And he turned back to Minerva and continued with their conversation.

But, as usual – where Voldemort and Harry were concerned – it doesn’t remain quiet for long. Sooner or later you’re bound to hear something concerning the two of them, and tonight was no exception.

After a few minutes had passed by, there was a sudden commotion where Harry and the rest of his friends had gathered. A few puffs of foul smelling smoke rose up into the air.

It turned out that after Voldemort had cleaned himself off with a cleaning spell, he’d used a summoning spell and had summoned a few Dungbombs and had dropped them in the midst of Potter and the rest of the Weasley clan. And now the air in that area was so foul that people were holding their hands over their noses and mouths and there was a mad rush to get away from the source of the stink.

Harry looked around and saw Voldemort doubled over, laughing his head off, and when he saw Harry looking at him he shouted out,

‘That’ll teach you to dump Pumpkin juice over my head’ and he continued laughing.

‘Harry’s face was a picture; he was mad, madder than the mad march hare ever was and muttered to himself, ‘so its war is it.’ And before Voldemort knew what was happening, someone had conjured up a cake that hovered above his head for a few moments, then fell and splattered all over him.

Coughing and spluttering, Voldemort wiped the cream and cherries from his head and with an equally murderous look in his eyes – and thinking that it had been Harry who’d conjured up the cake, but in fact had been Dobby – sent a Lemon cream pie through the air towards Harry. But Harry saw it coming and ducked his head down and the pie flew on and came to a stop when it hit Minerva full in the face. She looked so outraged that she pulled out her wand and sent a custard tart towards Voldemort who ducked and it hit Dumbledore on the back of his head. Dumbledore slowly turned around and was starting to say ‘Well really’ but was cut short by a paper plate full of apple sauce hitting him fully in the face. And with a calm look on his face and a small lazy twist of his wand, he silently sent several Pumpkin pasties in the direction of Voldemort who ducked and they hit Ron on the side of his head, who did not look too pleased.

By now everyone present was sending food flying through the air, not caring who they hit, they were all having a good laugh at each others expense. The usual prim and proper Professor MacGonagall surprised everyone when she had conjured up a large bowl of cold custard and poured it over Molly Weasleys head and for a moment looking rather shocked at what she’d done, but quickly recovering herself and laughed hysterically.

Molly screamed and sent another bowl of cold custard towards anyone who just happened to get in the way, unfortunately the person whose head it went over just happened to be her husband Arthur. She tried to hide her laughter without much success.

But soon all good things must come to an end, and suddenly all the flying food suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone looked around and saw that Dumbledore was holding up his wand and he said,

‘Sorry everyone, but it’s time to call it a night and get back into the book’ there was a general mummer of displeasure at these words and Dumbledore continued ‘It’s after six in the morning and we really must go before the HPFF staff start arriving for work.

So with a lot of moans, everyone started to gather in front of the computer – that had been left on – and one by one they started to glow and were pulled into the screen. Dumbledore was the last to leave and it was nearly seven o’clock. Just has he was about to perform a cleaning spell to clear up the mess their party had created he heard movement outside the office door and he quickly stood in front of the screen and started to glow and then vanish. Just as he vanished the office door opened and in stepped Jay – the office owner – and Timeturner – the office manager – the two of them stopped dead when they saw the mess and carnage that had been left behind.

‘Did we cause this mess with our party last night?’ asked Timeturner.

‘I don’t know’ replied Jay ‘I’m still recovering; I can’t remember anything for the moment.’

‘Well, any way we’d better start tidying up before the others get here’ said Timeturner.

So the big clean up started and when Jay reached the computer that had been left on, he just happened to glance at the screen and for a few moments he was startled by what he saw. ‘Timeturner, come here for a moment and see what I see.’ Timeturner walked over and looked at the screen, and after a few moments staggered back a step or two.

‘What does it mean?’ Timeturner asked in a puzzled voice.

‘That my friend’ replied Jay ‘maybe one of those questions in life that may never be answered fully. We’ll only be able to speculate at its meaning.’ And turning away the two of them continued tidying up.

And while they continue with that job, the scene changes and we see a close up of the computer. And on the screen could be seen a message, which read,

Thank you for the use of your office for our annual Christmas party last night. Everyone had a great time, sorry about the mess.

Albus Dumbledore

Tmeturner picked up a dark coloured bottle and was about to put it in the bag he was carrying when he just happened to notice the label, which read Finest Butterbeer and another bottle whose label read Ogden’s Firewhiskey. His head slowly turned towards the computer and back to the bottles he was holding. And he had a confused look on his face, and once again he slowly looked towards the computer screen.


A/N: - Thanks for reading. I hope it wasn’t to boring for you; it’s my first foray into comedy. Please tell me what you thought in a review below.

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