Disclaimer: I own anything you dont recognise. Credit goes to the amazing JK Rowling and Coldplay
When you try your best, but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want, but not what you need,
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.
I could see it. You could hide it from others but not from me. The dark circles under your eyes. I could see the pain in them and the strain in your smile. I knew no one else could see it but then no one knows you like I do.
It hurts me that you never come to me. That I am a part of what you’re fighting. I wish I could help. But you push me away, so I sit here and wait, while I watch you try your best and I know that one day it may go back to before. But we will never be the same. Yet it hurts to watch you so beautiful and perfect broken like a porcelain doll.
I watch you walk past me now. I see your auburn hair is in its little ringlets down your back. Your skin is flawless and you smile and laugh with your friends. But when your eyes catch mine I see the pain swimming in your ocean coloured eyes. I yearn to erase it to make your laughter free again, for your smiles to be real.
But I have to be patient and so I wait. I know you will come to me when you need to I can see your resolve breaking. And I hope it’s soon because it’s getting harder to stay away from you. And I know you know it too. So please put me out of my misery.
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
I know you can see it. It’s in the way you look at me. I know I left you but I hated myself for it. You’re too good for me. I hold you back. I know that and yet you still want me. But I’m going to have to keep up the fight, because you deserve way more than me. My resolve is breaking. The cracks in my mask are showing and you can see them.
But I still act like it doesn’t hurt me. I still fake my smiles and my laughter. I cry when no one can see me. I fall to pieces for our loss. But it’s not just for you I cry for the loss of our love. I thought it was perfect but then I saw what you hid from me. I didn’t know your father treated you like that because of me so I left. You shouldn’t have to choose between them and me. My own family were like that but when they meet you they changed. I guess being a Weasley is easier than being a Malfoy.
Albus tells me I’m being stupid that you don’t care. But his more your best friends then mine. This is starting to get stupid. I can’t take it anymore. I keep turning and expecting to find you by my side. My hand has never felt so cold. My lips still tingle from our last kiss. And I know this is the worst torture I could go through. I know it’s my fault so I wait. I can hold it for a while longer.
I know that it’s for you that I’m doing this for. So I wait because If I wasn’t holding you back I know you would soar. And I know as long as you are happy I will be too.
I’ll just have to survive first.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
14 days it has been since I have last talked to you. 12 since you have looked at my direction. 9 since you have really smiled. 6 since you have laughed, really and truly laughed. 4 since I have seen you cry. 2 since I have seen you at all.
Fourteen days it took you to smash my heart into pieces. Every single day you lost a part of yourself and every time you lost something I lost pieces of my heart.
I don’t even know why you left me. You just said it was for my own good you kissed me and then left. That was the first time I ever cried, even after all everything I have been through. Because you always were my rock. Ever since I meet her she started as my best friend and turned into my girlfriend. She always helped me through she knew everything about me like I knew everything about her. and know it fells strange to walk down the corridor and not fell the calm aura she always had around her. my hand felt like ice. I was so used to hers warming them up. My lips still felt like hers were linked together. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I knew that if she didn’t talk to me soon I would blow. If I didn’t get to see her soon I would become blind. Because I need her. i would do anything for. If she asked I would jump of a cliff I would stop breathing I wouldn’t eat.
She is my life, my home and my refuge without her I am like a shell. I don’t know what to do so I have to talk to her. I have to figure out why she left. Because when someone stills your reason to breathe you would do anything to bring it back.
And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
I never realised how much I needed him. How he was why I lived. Without him I am lost. I feel like I am in the middle of the desert without food or water. I’m trying to find a way to get back home but its not working.
16 days 12 hours 33 minutes and 12 seconds. That’s how long it’s been since I have looked at him. That’s how long since I have breathed. I’m starting to lose my self. My Mind, my Heart, my Soul. I once promised myself that I would never become one of those girls who depend on a guy with all her might. But I accidently did that to myself. I fall too hard into the bottomless pit and I don’t even want to try to get back up. So I decided that I would have to talk to him soon. I searched for him. But I could never find him.
It was funny actually. That you always noticed what you had when it was gone. But I unlike many other people could get it back. At least that’s what I tell myself. I can’t seem to find him anywhere. So I decided to visit my cousin Albus who is sitting at the Slytherin table in the great hall.
“Hello. Dear cousin what can I do for you?”
“Where is he, Al? I can’t find him anywhere.”
“You haven’t heard have you? He is in the hospital wing. Got hit by a rogue bludger during Quidditch practice. His head wasn’t in the game.” His emerald eyes shot me a look then. Me being the wonderful person that I am ignored it.
Instead I turned around and booked it. I ran as fast as I could up to the Hospital Wing. I ran up the stairs and barged through the door without a second thought. I stopped to catch my breath and when I looked up I saw him looking at me.
His silvery eyes glimmering. He had a look of pain on his face and I couldn’t seem to breath. I forgot how handsome he was. My knees shook and I slowly walked over to his bed. I sat down on the edge and just continued to look at him. And when I felt something grab my hand I looked down to see his bandaged fingers clutching at mine I smiled and brought his hands to my lips.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I was starting to feel my mind and body disconnect. I knew I should be paying attention. Especially when I was meant to be practicing my beater skills but I couldn’t get her out of my head. She was my drug and I had gone without a dose for too long.
I shook my head and tried to focus again. I stopped to take in what the others were doing. The chasers, Flint, Pierce and brown were passing it to each other in the form of a demented triangle. The keeper was watching on waiting for them to try and score. Albus was flying around the pitch trying to find the snitch and Ryan, the other beater on the team, was currently watching me in horror I turned to see why just in time to get a face full of bludger. I fell of my broom and started to fall at an alarming rate my last thought before I blacked out was that it was all Roses fault.
I woke up later to Albus sitting in the seat next to my bed reading the newspaper. On the bed stand was some fresh flowers, and when I moved my head I gasped in pain. Madam Prince, who was checking over me at the time, rolled her eyes and continued to wrap a bandage around my hand. I tentatively raised my other hand to my head. It felt sore and was severely bandaged. I wasn’t really there when I heard Prince telling me I would be okay. I didn’t really pay attention to Al. I just sort of sat there. My mind fully on rose and trying to figure a way to get a message to her. I don’t know when I fall asleep I just did and like always my dreams were of her.
When I woke up to the crashing sound of the door, I bolted into a sitting position vaguely recognising that my head felt fine and looked to the door. I couldn’t breathe when I saw her. Her cheeks flushed red and her lips slightly parted. I knew she must have ran. I looked into her ocean blue eyes and saw the way her auburn hair curled down her back and I felt my mouth fall open. There was no way to describe beauty like hers. And I was right in saying I would go blind from not seeing her. I felt like I was looking at an angel and I knew that it had to be real my imagination would possibly be able to create such beauty. She slowly walked over and lowered herself onto my bed. After a few seconds I grabbed her hand. I saw her look down and smile. And felt myself leaning in before I knew I was and my lips touched hers I knew I was never letting her go again.
I would not be able to live without her my angel. The girl who somehow stole very part of my being and I didn’t care. Because I knew that somehow she felt the same. And my mind was being stupid for even thinking such things were not true.
I was me again Scorpius Malfoy, and somehow Rose Weasley was mine. And I knew I would love her until the end of time.
I wasnt even sure if i was going to post this but decide that it wouldve been a waste of time if i didn't. Thanks for reading this please leave me a review of what you think or if there is any mistakes.