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The Trouble With Life is... by Irobbedgringottsandgotaway
Chapter 1 : Problem #1
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9

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  Disclaimer: Anything recognizable belongs to JK Rowling



Well I won't rely on you,
So don't you rely on me.
I don't need nobody's approval,
I'll live without it happily.
          On My Own by Vinvent Vincent and the Villains



So, I suppose as this is the beginning of my story, you are most likely expecting some sort of backstory-slash-introduction.

Well, that right there was it. Yep, that sentence right there is all you get. 

See, I'm not the backstory type. No one really gives a flying kumquat about Alex's sob story. "Oh Alex, i'm so sorry, I had no idea...Oh Alex, your parents would be there if they could...I'm sure they'd be so proud..."

Yeah, except they're dead.

I guess I should start my story at the source of all my problems. This source is the root of all irks and quirks that course through my veins. The 'bane' of my exsistence, as cliche as I believe that saying to be. This source is the saltine crackers to my multiple papercut wounds, the kryptonite to my superman, and the oil to my vinegar.

 You get the picture. If only I could count the ways I loathe James Potter. 

Oh, but wait, I can!

Let's start with problemo numero uno: James is a pigheaded prat.

In fact, back at old Hogwarts, I told him this fact once, and he replied, "Yeah, but my looks make up for that, as you so clearly know you love them." Then he winked. Winked!

This is why I was not happy to see him show up at my spankin' new workplace, next to my new desk, smirking like some silly minx while talking to some leggy blonde. Seriously, I come back from a year of studying in Scotland under the world-famous and acclaimed Professor Jixson about how to defend yourself using non-verbal, non-wandal magic, and here he is, sitting on the edge of my new desk!

"If you tell me you work here too, you won't be waking up tomorrow." I said, approaching him with my cardboard box of papers and stuff, thouroghly irritated. "Or you will wake up in pain, missing a certain apendage."

"Why hello, Lex." he smiled smugly at me. "I won't tell you I work here too. Anything to make you happy sweetheart." I seethed at the nickname and jibes. The blonde girl seemed confused, then decided to leave. Ha, smart move blondie.

"Whatever Jimmy, just get off my desk and go back to your own or something." I had gone through many interviews and hard lessons and tests to get into the auror training program here and he wasn't going to get in my bloody way. Because there would be blood.

He seemed to oblige, and wandered off. I sighed, relieved. Then he stopped about five feet away. He sat down at the desk that was right behind me, so that we were situated back to back.

"What do you thigk you're doing?"

"Going back to my spot. I do actually work here, you know. Started last week as a matter of fact." He said. I thought I heard a bit of smugness.

Great, out of all the people to sit right behind me, it ends up being the most annoying guy I have ever had the displeasure to meet.

"No. This cannot be happening. If I have to go through auror training with an arrogant stick shoved up my but then you can just kill me now." I said, blithering pissed.

He twisted around in his chair. "I don't know for sure, but your arse seems fine to me. Quite fine, if you know what I mean."

I swiveled around in my chair, shooting daggers from my eyes. Laserbeams, more like it actually. "Back off, Potter. It's only been three minutes and I already want to shove my fist up your nose."

"And I thought you wanted me to kill you."

"Whatever. I'm not done with you. I have stuff to get done. Like meeting with your dad." Yeah, his dad's the head of the department. Guess I know how he got the job.



I guess I might as well give you a little backstory to tell you how James and I came to the position we are in now, where we both hate each other platonically. It only makes sense,, so I won't put up with any of your 'i told you so's.

James and I actually grew up in the same neighborhood. My parents died when I was nine, so that leaves nine other years of living normally. I'm not going to go any farther than explaining that I grew up in a nice, loving family with a dog and a white picket fence, yadda yadda ya.

I was always a fierce one, which is probably why James and I were best friends the first nine years of my life. We would build mudpies, play pickup games of football, and go swimming in the lake together. Our families were close, his parents loved me and mine loved him. I think his mom actually thought we would end up together in the end. (Ha, I'm sorry please excuse me for a moment while I go burst into histerics.)

We would play together and we even had a special game we played, 'Secret or Dare'. We had to either tell a secret, or do a dare as decided by the other person. I did some crazy stuff for that game, and told him some of my deepest, darkest, secrets, which I refuse to tell to this day. There was actually this one time where James stole Mrs. Nattenburg's .... sorry, too much information.

Anyways, they day of the fire came, and I was the sole survivor of my family (as it was fiend fire), however battered and bruised. But the wounds I had aquired were no match to the pain I felt of losing my parents and house. I also lost my only brother that day, as James and I lost contact. We didn't see each other again until the first day of Hogwarts rolled around and I saw his family at the station. I would be lying if I said that James noticed me at all that day.

At Hogwarts, we basically ignored each other while really I was still checking up on him, as he used to be my only brother. That lasted until fourth year when we had a fight that could rival the Battle of Hogwarts. Words were said that could not be forgiven and we were both hurt. We parted separate ways, agreeing to mutually hate each other. This led to many more spats, prank wars and agression on the Quidditch pitch. To this day, we're still basically pissed off at each other. So, that's the end of any backstory you'll be getting from me.

Sigh. One week after my first encounter with James at work and here I am, swamped with reports and coffee runs that none of the other senior aurors had in interest in doing. I'm up to my knees in work, am juggling my other part-time job as a waitress at the Leaky Cauldroun, and yet I can't seem to catch a break from the numbskull that sits behind me. I'm about ready to punch someone when my best friend Roxy comes by to relieve me and take me to lunch.

Roxy has been my best friend since we were first years at Hogwarts. I stole the last biscuit at the start-of-year feast and she punched me in the nose. We're pretty much a match made in heaven. Roxy is fierce, a Gryfindor like me, and plays beater alongside me in Quidittch. We make a great team. The only problem is that she's Jame's cousin.

"Roxanne! Always a pleasure! Here to take me to lunch?" James exclaimed, noticing her walking towards us.

"Shut up James, she's taking me to lunch." I snapped, teetering dangerously on the edge of my toleration for him.

"Ouch, that stings Roxanne. I'm your cousin!" He remarked as I was getting up to leave.

"Tough luck James, she's my best friend, and you're a prat. So rub those two tiny little brain cells that are in there somewhere together and figure it out." Roxy said. She looked great in a colorful, exotic top and a simple skirt. She worked next door with the Department of Magical Sports and they were pretty casual over there.

"Whatever Roxy, let's just go before I blow a gasket." I said warily.

"Yeah, really. Lexi's getting on my nerves." I stuck my tongue out at him over my shoulder.

How mature.








A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you thought about it and what you liked/disliked about it!


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