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What Happens In Hogsmeade by PygmyPuffLover
Chapter 1 : This Is Not A Date
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 24

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“You irritate the fuck out of me, do you know that?” And so my conversation with the ‘charming’ Albus Potter begins.

Albus smirked and crossed his arms over his – annoyingly – muscular chest, smirking at me in a way that suggested he knew something that I didn’t. And I did not like that one iota.

“What?” I asked warily, but he merely smirked at me for a bit longer and then fell into step next to me. I scowled and cursed the fact that Luella and Josie had Astronomy next when I had Divination. Albus grinned and flung his arm around my shoulder.

“You know, maybe if you stopped being so hostile for about five and a half seconds then we would actually be able to have a nice conversation. We have a lot in common, you know.” He smirked at me again, and I gripped the handle of my bag tightly so I didn’t punch him in the gut and run screaming for my life.

“Yeah, we both attend Hogwarts and are in Divination. And... oh wait, that’s it.” I said flatly, but Albus merely smirked a little more.

I’m surprised his face doesn’t stay stuck like that.

“I can think of a couple more things we have in common. We both have green eyes, we both have best friends that think we suit each other,” I scowled at that one and glared at the floor, “and we both fancy the pants off each other.”

At that one I skidded to a halt and turned to stare at him with my mouth hanging open like a gormless idiot.

“I’m sorry; do you really think I fancy you?” I asked incredulously, and when he smirked at me I let my expression fall into a flat glare. “Are you out of your fucking mind? In fact, I’m willing to bet that your mind – which I’m not sure existed in the first place – is out of the fucking window right now because you are so out of it –”

“Bloody hell, you don’t half go on.” Albus commented lightly, ignoring the way I was spluttering and stuttering like nobody’s business. “Maybe if you stopped arguing with me then you would realise how much you do fancy me.”

“And what on earth has given you the severely delusional impression that I fancy you?” I asked as we reached the spindly little rope ladder that came down from a hole in the ceiling.

“Because I know you do. You always change when I’m around you; you become different to how you are when you’re with your friends. That’s because you fancy the hell out of me.” He said matter-of-factly, smirking at me again.

“Well, yes, because I can’t stand you. You annoy the hell out of me, not much else. Now will you please leave me alone?” Albus smirked and grabbed my arse, shoving me up the rope ladder as I spluttered and hissed expletives out.

“Get off me you bleeding man-handler, I am not some kind of Barbie doll that you can just fuck around with, and get your bloody hands off my arse before I tear them off – will you stop smirking?”

“Come on Flo, you know you don’t have a problem with this.” He snorted in a voice that was far too cheerful. I scowled as he tossed me onto the landing and stepped over my legs.

And what blithering idiot said that chivalry was dead?

“Do not call me Flo, I don’t accept that from anyone other than my best friends, and you do not fall into that category. My name is Florence.” Albus smirked and hauled me to my feet, grinning as I glared at him.

“I know that, love.” Albus smiled at me condescendingly, staring down at me as though I fondly reminded him of his grandmother. “But I’m going to call you Flo anyway, so you might as well get used to it.”

“Why’ve you changed my name now, you always call me Jones.” I grumbled, but he merely grabbed my arm and yanked me down into the chair next to him.

Great, looks like we’re partners for today.

I would move, I really would, but I can’t... um, be bothered. I don’t want to bother getting up.


“I don’t want to work with you, just so you know.” I informed him snottily, and he rolled his eyes, and then shoved a cup of tea leaves towards me.

“Oh suck it up. I know you’re dancing on the inside, so I don’t know why you won’t just admit it. Face it, sweetheart,” He leaned forwards, his breath fanning across my face. “You fancy me.”

I spluttered for a couple of minutes – why do I struggle to talk so much all of a sudden? – and then looked back down at the cup with a scowl set on my face, thumping open the front cover of my textbook and scanning down the images.

I stared at the picture in the cup and cocked my head to the side. It looked sort of like a sun, or possibly a heart on the side.

“Well, a heart means there is love in your future.” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Bloody hell, who’s the girl?”

Albus smirked at me for a minute and then leaned across the table again, his fingers brushing the top of my hand, which I quickly pulled away. He smirked again and leaned even further forwards so he could whisper in my ear.

“Why, what’s the matter? A little jealous, are we?” His tone was innocent, his eyes widened and his mouth twitching at the corners as he struggled to keep back a smirk – yes, another one.

“No.” I spat, leaning back in my chair to re-establish the personal bubble. “I was just wondering who she was so I could pray for her and send her my sympathy.” Albus rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

“When are you going to admit how you feel about me?” He smirked, and I glared at him.

“Never, because I don’t feel anything about you, other than severe annoyance and occasionally hatred. Depends on my mood and how much of a git you are being.” Al rolled – ALBUS rolled his eyes and smirked again.

“No, I’m pretty sure, scratch that, one hundred percent sure that you feel something more for me. I can just see it in your eyes when you’re glaring at me.” I blinked a couple of times.

“There’s a hint in that Albus, glaring. That means I can’t stand you. You are the biggest git on the face of the planet, do you know that? You think you know me so well, don’t you? You think that you can just march in here and grab my arse and tell me that I fancy you - when I quite clearly do not – and I’ll just sit here?! God, you annoy the living shit out of me with that bloody smirk of yours, and the way you think your God’s gift to women. Well, newsflash sweetheart, you – are – not. I bloody hate you, now leave me alone.”

And with that I grabbed my textbook and shoved it in my bag, before storming out of the classroom and down the spindly little rope ladder.

God, I hate him.


“Stop looking at me like that.” I grunted at Luella, who looked down at her dinner but didn’t quite manage to erase her smirk from the corners of her lips. What is with people I know and smirking? “That goes for you too.” I added to Josie. She blushed slightly.

“One day you are going to stop arguing with him and the two of you are going to get married and have four gorgeous children and loads and loads of really hot sex and –” Luella laughed, ignoring me when I threw myself on the floor and clapped my hands over my ears, screaming about my brain bleeding.

“You’ll end up with him one day, you know.” Josie added softly. I glared at the pair of them.

“I – will – not.” I said flatly, and I glared at the pair of them as I stormed out of the Great Hall. What do they know anyway? Stupid friends.

Let me give you some advice, children, never have friends. They don’t help with anything, all they do is steal your clothes and take the piss out of you.

“Oi, Flo!” A voice yelled behind me, and I cursed as I started to walk a little bit faster. But no, Prathead Potter and his stupid Quidditch playing abilities meant that I might as well have been running away from a cheetah.

“What do you want Prathe- I mean, Albus?” I snapped, and he flung his arm around my shoulder again. I blinked a couple of times and then decided that I couldn’t be bothered throwing his arm off.

Yeah, I’m super lazy. Sue me.

“Go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?” He said, and my mouth fell open. He didn’t even bother looking at me; he just stared ahead and pulled me closer into his chest, my cheek squashed against the side of his abs in a way that was oh-so-sexy.

“Wha – no!” I spluttered, and he rolled his eyes.

“So I’ll pick you up at twelve then?” He said, and I began to choke on my own spit.

“No you bloody well will not.” I said sharply - he rolled his eyes again and smirked at me in that annoying way where he is basically going ‘I know better than you’.

Little tosspot.

“Wear something nice by the way, it is a date.” Albus grinned at me one last time and then suddenly disappeared down a little corridor that I had never realised was there. I stood there and blinked gormlessly at the tapestry for a moment and then stormed back up to my dorm. 

I've hated the bloke since I was eleven years old and he crashed into me on the Hogwarts Express. Honestly, most people would apologise and move on, but he just smirked at me to move out of the way and then strutted down the train like he owned it. 


Well, I am not going on that date tomorrow, that’s for certain.

No frigging way.


“Oh my days, what the bleeding fuck am I going to wear?” I cried to Luella as I flung myself around the room, yanking clothes out of her wardrobe and then stomping on them in a pile when I decided that they made me look fat.

“I thought you weren’t going on the date.” Luella smirked innocently, and I whipped around to shoot her a glare.

“I’m not; I just want to make sure that I look nice for walking around Hogsmeade with you two.” I snapped, and Luella nodded, one of her eyebrows raised in a perfect arch.

“Bloody hell, will you just help her before she pops a vessel?” Josie put in quietly from the corner, where she sat reading a textbook. Luella grinned at hauled herself off the floor and padded over to me.

“Wear this.” She said a couple of minutes later, shoving some clothes into my arms. I blinked a couple of times and then smiled at her.

“Thanks.” I muttered.

Luella smirked at me for a moment and then sat back down on her bed.

“I’m still not going on the date.” I informed her, and she nodded at me with a smirk. I glared and flounced off to the bathroom to brush my teeth.


Albus blinked a couple of times as I walked up to him, my eyes narrowed and my arms crossed across my chest, and then smiled slightly. Not a smirk, not a condescending grin and not an ‘I know something you don’t know’ look, but an honest to God smile.

“You look lovely.” He said, and I blinked at him a couple of times, coughed and then slowly unfolded my arms from their vice grip.

“Thank you.” I muttered. “But I just feel like I should let you know that I am not on a date with you right now, I just so happen to be standing next to you.” Albus rolled his eyes and took my hand in his.

“You ready to go?” He asked, and I nodded.

“I don’t see any harm in walking down next to you, using your hand as a personal glove.” I said, and Albus rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a delusional batshit.” He chuckled, and I frowned at him, but it was hard to stay really angry with him with all the butterflies doing the conga in my stomach. I bet Luella slipped something into my pumpkin juice,

“Where do you want to go first?” Albus asked me after I had been assaulted- ahem, checked by Filch at the door – for which Albus glared at him and spat out a couple of swearwords – and we had managed to get down to the big gates at the bottom of the hill.

“I don’t know, where do you happen to be going, because I might just so happen to be going to at the same time.” I said, and Albus rolled his eyes.

“I was thinking about going to the Three Broomsticks for a quick drink before I go to Zonko’s or something – do you feel like sitting at my table whilst I have a drink?” He asked, seemingly coming to terms with the fact that I was most definatley not on a date with him.

“I am quite thirsty.” I said, and Albus smiled. He suddenly took the hand that was holding mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, my own arm crossing across my chest.

“Couldn’t have you getting cold now, could we?” He smirked, and I shook my head slightly.

As we reached the door of the pub Albus pushed open the door and laid his free hand on my arse so he could ‘help’ me through the door. I tactfully pretended not to notice and struggled to keep my blush down in my cheeks.

Why on earth do I want to blush?

Stupid PMS.

Al (bus) gestured to a table in the corner and I nodded, the pair of us slipping down into the booth, him dropping my hand and slipping his arm around my waist instead.

“Can I get you a Butterbeer?” He asked, and I nodded.

This isn’t too bad.

You know, for a not-date.

“So, where do you want to go after this?” He asked, and I shrugged. “Well, how about we go to Zonko’s then?” I opened my mouth, but something suddenly flashed across his face and he cut me off. “But it will be together. On a date.”

I spluttered for a moment – I swear to you, I can talk properly normally – and I blinked a couple of times.

“Zonko’s sounds fine.” I said softly, and his face split into a grin so wide I nearly got blinded by the glint off his teeth. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my temple.

Holy – bleeding – fucking – shit – what the bleeding – fuck – holy mother – what the – huh?

Ah well.

We both drank our Butterbeers in silence, Al’s fingers slowly rubbing up and down on my hip.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked quietly, and I nodded.

“Yeah, but do us a favour and don’t blow anything up while we’re in there. I was only standing outside with Luella and Josie last Hogsmeade and it still took three weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.”

Al chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“I would suggest that you don’t go near the part of the shop labelled ‘TNT’ then.” He said dryly, and it was my turn to roll my eyes. Al took my hand again and then twisted his arm so I had to spin around like some kind of deformed ballerina.

He smirked and I kicked him in the shin. Ah, just like old times.


“I can’t believe you said that to him.” I choked as I laughed, lying on the grass with my shoes kicked off next to me, clutching my stomach. Al grinned at me and then lay down next to me.

“Well, he came up to my date and told her she looked hot. I was fully justified to say what I said.” He said haughtily, crossing his arms over his – perfectly – muscular chest and then unfolding them so he could take my hand again.

I turned on my side to look at him and cocked an eyebrow.

“Okay, so maybe I took it a little bit far.” He allowed, and I grinned at him. He leant forwards and pressed his lips to my collarbone. “But I’m the only one that’s allowed to say that my date looks really hot right now.”

I flushed and considered shoving his head away, but instead I just turned my gaze up to the sky and watched the clouds drift across the stretch of pale blue.

Al leaned back and stared at the side of my face as I watched the sky, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Hey Flo, do you hate me?” He asked suddenly, and I stared at the sky for a moment as I contemplated my answer.

“No, not really. You irritate the fuck out of me most of the time, but when you stop being a git for longer than three minutes your actually an alright guy.” I turned my head so I could look him straight in the eye. “Do you hate me?”

“No, I’ve never hated you. I could do without the sarcasm every conversation, but I never hated you. I could also do without you constantly denying that you fancy me when it’s as plain as the nose on my face that you want me.” He murmured.

He never hated me? Well, I feel rather petty right now.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Albus murmured quietly, nothing other than the slow blowing of the wind in the trees to break the silence.

“I’m not stopping you.” I whispered back, and it only took a moment for him to place his hand on the back of my head and press his lips against mine.

Bloody hell, if I’d known that snogging him felt this good then I would have started a long time ago, instead of constantly denying fancying him.

Even though I don’t.

Okay, so maybe he is as hot as fuck and all that, but I do not fancy him.

Please shoot me.

A couple of minutes later Al pulled away, an oddly triumphant look on his face. He smirked slightly and leaned backwards so that he could see my face, his hands on either side of my jaw.

“I knew you fancied me, you little liar.” He smirked, and annoyance stirred in the pit of my stomach as I recognised the familiar expression. Can he honestly not go one day without being a git?

And here was me considering that he might actually be a human deep down there somewhere.

“Well, I – oh shut it, you little – well I, oh fucking hell I, but, oh – I –” I spluttered, and he chuckled slightly.

“You fancy me.” He crowed, and I gulped a couple of times. Al stared at me for a moment and then a flicker of understanding crossed his face. “And I fancy you.” He murmured, his lips only a few inches away from my own.

“Well, yeah...” I murmured, and he struggled to hold back a smirk again.

“Then I think it’s quite obvious what we’re going to do here.” He said, taking my hand in his again and pressing his lips to my throat. I gulped again. “Florence, will you be my girlfriend?”

No. No, of course not. Don’t be stupid, I would rather die.

“Okay.” I said softly, and he finally lifted his lips from my throat and pressed them against mine. Well, this isn’t half bad.

“I KNEW IT!” Luella shrieked from somewhere in the distance, and the pair of us shot up from our position lying in the grass. Josie and Luella were standing by the gate the field, smirking at the pair of us like there was no tomorrow.

Al – hey, I’m allowed to call him that now – stuck his finger up at them and then pressed his lips back to mine.

Alright, I guess I do fancy him.

But don’t tell anyone. 



eh, random and cliche. its what i do best, babay. anyway, i know i should be uploading chapters to my WIPs but i decided to be lazy and put this up instead.

so... what did you think? 

disclaimer: i own nothing. nada. zippo. shame, really.

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