Chapter 3 : It. Is. Nothing!
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Chapter 3. It. Is. Nothing!
"Hi!" Chase sang into my ear as he bounced down beside me on the bench, causing me to lose the staring contest between myself and the toast.
The toast not having any eyes actually worked to its advantage, so I doubt I would've actually won. But I was still pissed at Chase for ruining my chances, even though the odds were against me.
"Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine," I mumbled, ripping the toast into tiny, little pieces.
Destruction felt good.
"W-What?" Chase stuttered in disbelief. My anger wasn't usually directed at him, and he was caught off guard by this shift in treatment.
My mind kept wandering back to last night. My thoughts muddled with the toxic realisation of the truth of Moaning Myrtle's words.
They were echoing all around me. Infested in me like a poison, pumped through my veins, spreading the virus through -
"Good morning, Clove," Chase's voice interrupted my mental suicide as he greeted the grumpy blonde who approached us.
"Prove it," she growled back, sitting down with a dark aura about her.
"You too?" Chase sighed and threw me a quick glance. "What's wrong with you, then?"
Still pulling apart the toast, I smirked at my best friend whose hazel eyes were glaring down at the food, her small hands clenched into tiny fists on each side of her plate.
"She's going through a bit of a dry spell," I explained in a mock-whisper, glad to be talking about someone else's misery.
Clover whimpered before putting her forehead on the empty gilded plate, letting out a complaining moan. "I need to be smushing."
While giving a small laugh, I sent Deuce and Brayder a quick nod as they came to join our places at the long table, and after sitting down by my side, Bray gave my earlobe a quick, little nibble. He did stuff like that all the time, so I just smiled at him, and he responded by winking discreetly.
"Have you been watching that stupid TV-show again?" Chase asked Clover, squinting his eyes and wincing as if Clover's taste in TV-shows caused him physical pain.
I watched how my petite friend's face lifted up, glaring at Chase.
With a hidden grin on my lips, I tried to refrain from laughing as Clover delved into the heated discussion I knew would erupt from Chase's insult. And for a short, few moments, I was succeeding in pushing away my own poisonous thoughts.
"Jersey Shore is not stupid!"
"Yes. It is," Chase retaliated with a scoff. "As a matter of fact, it is the very definition of stupid."
"Clearly, we aren't going to see eye to eye on this, so I suggest you drop it before I kick you."
"I quite like it, actually," Deuce agreed with her before stuffing his mouth full of breakfast sausages.
"There you go!" Clover threw her hand in Deuce's direction with a victorious, and adoring, smile. "Thanks, Deuce."
"Mate, Deuce agreeing with you doesn't really help your case," Bray cut in with a trace of a sarcastic smirk on his full lips.
"Bray's right," Chase nodded gravely. "My brother's got crappy taste in TV-shows. Obviously."
"Actually," I interrupted, my new-found anger for... Well, anything, really, engulfed me again, and I couldn't keep it in this time. "I think it's quite rude to call Clover's favourite show 'the very definition of stupid', Chase!"
Clover looked uncomfortable. "I wouldn't say favourite show, but -"
"No," I cut her off briskly, and my eyes were shooting lightning rods at Chase. "Chase needs to understand that not everyone is as perfect as he is!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs, but I couldn't stop. The sane part of my brain, the part I'd inherited from mum, was shocked and appalled at how my mouth was behaving, but there was no way that I could possibly shut myself up, so I kept going. "Who is he to judge anyone?! He has to get it into his funny-shaped head that people make mistakes! That people do things, th-things they wouldn't think -"
"Blimey, where is all this coming from?" Deuce stopped me mid-rant, and I just now heard how horrendously off topic they had become at the end.
Everything was quiet. I looked around me and realised that I was standing up, one hand on my hips the other waving in front of Chase's shocked, and angry, face.
"Excuse me." With tears in my eyes, I almost ran away, slowing down only to keep my nausea from acting up. It was just now, as I held my hands hard against my flat belly, that I noticed I still had crumbs of toast squeezed in my sweaty fist.
While rushing past the Gryffindor table I noticed my cousins, Al and Lily, waving at me, worried wrinkles on both their foreheads. Explanation wasn't really possible right now, seeing as I was trying to escape the room.
"What the hell's the matter with you?!" I heard someone yell after me, but it only made me speed up my pace.
"Adella!" It was Chase yelling. "You stop right this second and tell me what -"
"It's nothing!" I called behind my back, but I didn't halt.
I'd broken into a run, and was now flying upwards, taking the shortcut through the tapestries as the stairs were packed with students going to breakfast on this beautiful Saturday morning.
It was dark for a second. While slowing down, I retrieved my wand and didn't even have to think it before light shot out of the tip.
"Adella, I know you're in here!"†
With rapid steps I hurried until I was out of the dark shortcut, and found myself having to stop because the sunshine streaming through the lead windows hurt my eyes.
"Would you just tell me -"
"It. Is. Nothing!" Growling and screaming simultaneously shouldn't be physically possible, but somehow I managed it.†
Now that my sight had recovered from the wretched sunlight, I continued marching away from the boy behind me, my feet fixed on reaching its goal before he could catch up with me.
But Chase didn't give up, and soon enough I heard his rapid footsteps right behind me. "Adella Marie Malfoy-Granger! You tell me what's up right now, or I swear on Grawp's dead mother that I'll hex you from here to the next century!"
"Well, then that makes you a baby-killer!"
"What the hell are you blabbering about, woman?!"
"I'm pregnant!" I didn't intend to admit it, telling people meant... that this was real. And since it was the first time I'd said my fears aloud, emotions were running too high, and I let them out in form of huge, crocodile tears. "You happy now, you nitwit?!"
Lucky for me, there were only the two of us in the bright corridor, the silence almost tangible. We were standing perfectly still. The only movement was my shoulders who didn't seem to be fully able to contain the sobs threatening to rip through my chest at any moment.
Saying it out loud made it seem so real. I know it should have hit me last night when I first had my serious suspicions and rummaged through my bag for the gag-gift my cousin Al, had given me for my seventeenth birthday - a home pregnancy test.
It had come out positive. The two soft, pink lines throwing me into another round of my hurling marathon.
"Del... What- How..." He walked slowly to me, I heard the soft footsteps. "When?"
"Right before summer, me and Bray, we started to... You know," I sniffed and despised how my voice broke on several words. "And obviously I became... You know."
"W-What are you going to, ehm, do?"
"Go to the nurse," I answered, deciding this on the spot. But I knew it was the right thing to to, though.
"Why? Is there something wrong with... it?"
"I don't think so." But I couldn't help but feeling a little scared at the thought of there being something wrong. Well, something other than the fact that I was seventeen and pregnant. And that my parents would kill me.
I hadn't even had time to think about them in all of this! Well, first off, my dad would definitely track Bray down and make sure he could never reproduce again. Maybe he'd even hex him so his whole thing would shrivel up.
If I hadn't been on the brink of self destruction, I would have laughed at that comical mental image.
My mother was a whole other deal. Even thinking about telling mum sent chills up and down my spine.
"Then why do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?" Chase asked, snapping me out of my inner rants.
"I-I just have to get her to, ehm, confirm that I really am.. that."
Because there had to be a slight chance of it all being a misunderstanding, right? I mean... What if the second pink line on that plastic stick was some sort of karmic prank, and when I went to Madam Pomfrey she'd say there was nothing living in my uterus after all. It could happen, right?
"So you're not really sure?" Chase asked, voicing my own hopeful thoughts.
"No, but I took one of those home-pregnancy tests, and, well..."
"The Muggle kind?" Chase asked, and I nodded. He gave a relieved sigh. "Then I bet you're not pregnant. I mean, those things are wrong all the time."
"Thus the reason I'm going to the nurse." With a turn of my heel, I changed my route. I wanted to get the visit to the Hospital wing over as soon as possible.
"Want me to come with you?" his tender voice asked me, and I felt his hand gently touch my shoulder.
The act was just enough to push a few more tears out of my already sore eyes, and I drew a shaking breath.
"No. Thanks, though," I was just about to turn and walk away again, but I was suddenly filled with terror. "Oh, and by the way..." My voice was raw and frayed, same as my nerves. "Please don't say anything to anyone."
And after he gave my shoulder another reassuring squeeze, I retrieved a little bit of my lost backbone, and marched off to determine whether or not my life would be eternally changed.
"I have a favourite bath towel as well, but I don't wear mine in public."
Clover and I were standing in the hall, the lads next to us but uninterested in anything other than Bray's new mobile. Everyone else who was going to Hogsmeade were already outside, but we'd come across an obstacle, none other than our nemesis Victoria Darren.
"That's it, Dwarfina!" Victoria hissed at Clover's comment, and whipped out her wand, her lifeless, long hair moving in the process. "I'm going to hex you so hard that you'll swell up to normal size."
"'Dwarfina'?" Clover snorted mockingly, and rolled her eyes up at Victoria, who seemed like a giant compared to my petite friend. "That's the best you've got?"
"Oh, I could spend half an hour on your hair."
"You should spend half an hour on your own hair," Clover mocked with a victorious gleam in those hazel eyes, knowing quite well that she had won this round.
With a grumpy sneer of defeat, Victoria turned her heel and marched angrily over to find the rest of her geeky squadron.
"Hah!" Clover threw her fist in the air and dragged me into a little dance. But when I wouldn't move, only stood perfectly still and resembling a very frightened statue, she stopped, and was just about to ask me about it when a girl suddenly walked past our little group.
Deuce's head snapped after her, completely forgetting the mobile, and when the girl stopped to check something in her bag, he approached her. Bray and Chase exchanged mischievous smirks, both of them knowing how this would eventually end. As a matter of fact, we all knew where it'd end.
In a closet somewhere. Or a shed, depending on which was nearest.
"Hey," Deuce was sex incarnate, and he proved it now by showing off his most irrestistible, charming smirk. "You're hot."
The girl slowly lifted her head and craned her neck to get a good look at the chap who had interrupted the searching of her bag.
"Excuse me?" she said, squinting her intense, green eyes.
"You're hot," he repeated, and bit his lower lip seductively. Knowing which buttons to push on the fairer(and apparently dumber) sex, he started his routine by digging his bright, blue eyes into hers. The master proceeded to gently put a strand of her jet black hair behind her ear, then grazed her lightly(by "accident") on her exposed neck. "Want to go out?"
And to think I almost fell for that act once, I thought to myself, shaking my head at my former naÔvety.
The girl didn't react, not at all. My respect for her shot to the roof at that, and I hoped she'd continue like this and refrain from letting herself be swept off her feet. To my instant pleasure, she just stood perfectly still, and the lack of response made Deuce try harder.
Big mistake. He should've sensed the defeat and walked away, but sadly, that was just not how he 'rolled'.
With Bray and Chase snickering behind his back, Deuce leaned closer to the green eyed girl and fully unleashed the power of his gorgeous blue ones.
"I have a boyfriend," she said unconvincingly. It was a blatant lie, and everyone could tell, but it didn't seem like she cared at all if he believed her or not. And my jaw dropped, because this didn't happen everyday.
Was Deuce really getting blown off?
I couldn't help but look out the massive doorway to check if it were raining pigs. I couldn't see if hell had frozen over or not, but I bet it had.
"And I have an arithmacy test on Monday," he replied matter of factly.
"What has that got to do with anything?"
Deuce smirked, those magical eyes of his latching onto hers. "I just though we were both listing things we could cheat on."
There was a moment of complete silence, where Bray, Chase, Clover and I were watching wide eyed, awaiting the reaction we hoped would come.
And so it did.
This girl made all of us gasp, and then explode out in a fit of laughter after she quickly raised her hand, made a fist and punched Deuce square in the face. Not the girly open-handed kind of slap, oh no, the real thing.
I was literally hanging onto Bray's strong arm for support while gasping for air, my body shaking with laughter. And it didn't get less funny when she glared at him with those green eyes before turning her heel and marching off without another word.
"When things like that happens, it restores my faith in humanity," Chase said with a grin, and dried away a tear.
"What was her problem?" Deuce scoffed, his hand massaging the sore spot by his nose, and checked if he was bleeding anywhere.
"Maybe she's not into -"
"Oh, shut it," Deuce interrupted his brother. "Everyone's into -" he pointed at his own body as if presenting a magic act. "- this. She'll be back."
"Yeah, I don't think so, mate." Bray approached his best friend and put a muscular beater's arm about his broad shoulders. "Better luck next time. Now, let's go get wasted."
"Have fun," I said, trying to get a goodbye-kiss from Bray. But he was already walking away with his arm around Deuce, giving him a pep-talk, I reckon.
"You sure you're not going?" Chase got my attention, and I dragged my eyes away from Bray's figure. "And you still don't want me to -"
"Yes, I'm sure." My stare was now lowered to the ground, and I knew that if I met Chase's gaze, I'd just see concern and I would most definitely break down in a fit of sobs.
"Hey Chase!" Bray had momentarily stopped in his tracks and was now calling for the boy whose eyes I was intently trying to avoid. "Come on!"
"Alright..." Chase muttered, sounding torn. Torn between the urge to stay here with me, and the need to follow Bray and Deuce.
When I still refused to meet his gaze, he wrapped his arms around me for a very quick second, hugging me tightly before letting me go and walking away.
As I watched him leave, I couldn't help but let out a long sigh. There went the only person who knew my secret... And I suddenly felt very alone.
"Come on, Del. I don't know what's wrong, but I know something is." Clover took my hand and gave it a light squeeze.
Shaking my head was my only response.
"Then please come with us," she plead for the umpteenth time this morning. "I promise you that going to Hogsmeade will help." She was smiling sweetly up at me, her brows furrowed in worry.
"I'm fine," I said, but Clover didn't buy it. "I'm just really tired. I haven't slept very well." And that was an undeniable truth, even though it wasn't the whole truth.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
"No," I said quickly, leaned down and pulled her into a hug. "You have a date with Mr Liquorice-Ice Cream, remember?"
"But I'll stay if you -"
"No. You go have fun," I said as I let go of her, trying to give my tiny best friend a reassuring smile.†
"Okay..." She didn't like going anywhere without me, and she bit her lip before slowly turning to follow the rest of our gang on the road leading down to the tiny village.†"See you later."
With a nod, we both walked our separate ways, heavy thoughts on both of our minds.
But, I think I would have won this particular contest...
My feet were moving on their own without me willing them to, and with a blurry sight, I found myself in the common room.†
It was empty.
The first and second years were apparently not going to waste this beautiful day by sitting inside, and that suited me just fine.
Now that I knew for certain that nobody would see me, I finally let all the locked-up tears fall freely. My legs shook and I had to sit down, so I hurried to the broom cupboard in the far end of the room. After closing it safely behind me, I fell to my knees and sobbed hard.
The gentle, soft sound of the door opening made my head snap.
It was Chase.
His eyes were mirroring the desperation in my own, and he closed the door behind him before soundproofing the tiny closet with a flick of his wand.
"What did Madam Pomfrey say this morning?" he asked, but I couldn't find the strenght to answer him. I just cried.†
He had come back.
Then I felt him sit down beside me before wrapping a strong arm about my waist, and then he sighed. Without thinking about it much, I leaned my head against his well-shaped shoulder, letting out a few shaky breaths. It felt so good to have him there.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do about it?" he whispered softly into my hair, and I thought I felt him kiss the top of my head, but I couldn't be sure. I didn't answer his question, and hoped that it would be answer enough.
With a deep, raw inhale, I started drying away some of the tears that were falling. It didn't help at all, though.
"Are you considering...getting rid of it?"
Violent sobs kept interrupting my words. "I-I don't kn-know..."†
"Did she say how far along you are?"
Yes, she had. And that was the scariest thing...
"A little over three months," I choked out, before continuing. "So I have to decide pretty quickly."
"Wow. What a mess."
"Yeah." And with that, the orchestra of sobs were at it again, and I curled myself up in Chase's arms, feeling as though they were the only thing keeping me together. "I don't know what to do,†Chase.†I'm so scared."
"It's going to be okay, Del..." he whispered and this time I definitely felt him kiss the top of my head. "It's all going to be okay."
Chase kept whispering sweet, calming words while rocking me gently back and forth. And before I knew it I was dozing off with my face pressed tightly against his warm chest, almost believing him.
That maybe it would be okay.
But only maybe.
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