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Apple Sauce by Twinklestar
Chapter 5 : Splish Splash (Part 1)
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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amazing chappie image by amoretti. @ tda :)



What the heck does someone as lucky as myself wear to a pool party? That’s hosted by the Potters…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Any who…

I know I must wear a swim suit. But which one for goodness sake?? I’ve got a bunch lounging on my bed at this very moment and I seriously just cannot choose.

What if I wear my baby blue one ( that shows my cleavage wonderfully ) and Albus hates the color blue? I’d die right the second he’d say, “I’m not marrying you because the night we first talked you wore a blue bikini.”

It can happen, people.

I’m loving the way my fuchsia bikini is looking today now that I think about it. She even has cute little silver beads hung by a string on the sides of the matching bottom. I always look like a total hottie in that!

DING! DING! DING! Fuchsia bikini ( that I am naming Berta ), you are chosen! The cutie pie, short, but extremely sexy, Susie Clive has declared you a winner. Congratulations Bertha!

I hear a giggle and suddenly remember Olive. I settled her onto my bed when my parents left on their dumb date to only God knows where.

Monkey balls! She’s somewhere under my massive hill of swim suits!

“I’m coming Olive!” I scream and begin chucking my outfits off of my bed at a rapid speed. What if she suffocates!?

“You really are a dimwit.”

I stop in my tracks and my mouth drops open.



“No, it’s your handsome brother. Stupid.”

I whirl around and see Ozzie leaning against my bedroom doorframe with a smirk situated on his face. And Olive clutched to his right hip. She has a goofy smile on her face, as if something is funny! I swear, that girl thinks EVERYTHING is just hilarious.

I raise a red eye brow. “Correction, you’re my ugly farting brother.”

Ozzie rolls his eyes and holds Olive out to me. She keeps giggling like a mad person, even as I take her. Oh my god, I really am turning into baby Olive. Pretty soon I’m going to be wearing diapers all over again!

“Get yourself and Olive ready. I’m leaving now, and don’t even think about talking to me while we’re at the party.”

And then my ugly farting brother slams my door and continues on his journey.

To across the street.

Where my future husband lives.


I sit Olive down on my floor and she decides to crawl into every little thing. It’s okay, I don’t have anything dangerous among my filthy floor. I think. Actually, the only thing dangerous that I own is Alvin. Oh, and my razor.

Anyway, I quickly change into my fuchsia bikini. Now, a very difficult question: What does a six month old wear to a pool party hosted by the Potters!? Dear flamingo, this is a very big problem. I think this is even huger than what I should wear!

I don’t want everyone to think my own sister is some slaggy slag. Even though she’s six months old.


Maybe I should check out her closet. Does she even have a bathing suit? I’d kill my own mother if she has never bought baby Olive one. If I had a baby daughter, I’d shower her with clothes that are sparkly and pretty.

My mum did with me, and I turned out okay.

Fine, I tend to shop for clothes way too often! It’s not my fault shopping makes me feel better. Is it bad that when I buy a new pair of granny underwear I feel loads better? I even glow for like a week because I have something new on!

All right, awkward!

I make my way to baby Olives room as she plays with one of my tennis balls in mine. I hope she wont choke on it because my mum and dad will ground me for a VERY long time.

Geez, Olives room is so much prettier than mine! It has pink walls with flower designs, a tan baby crib, toys scattered among themselves, and stuff for babies that I don’t even know about. How come I never realized this before….? Oh well.

I look all over baby Olive’s bedroom; In the closet…under her crib…in her drawers…even under that yucky thing where her diaper is changed! Ew, her butt touches that!

But I find no bathing suit. My mother clearly has some problems. I need to have a talk with that young lady!

Oh nutter butter! I bet there is an old baby bathing suit in my crappy box of ancient clothes in the attic! Why did I not think of this earlier? Because I am a dim-witted, love-crazy teenage girl with far too many freckles.

Sometimes I wonder why I just have so many freckles. Why do red-heads have freckles, is the question. That just confuses me; it’s like, why call a gnome a fire-hydrant? Makes no sense.

As I converse with my brain about why I think such absurd topics, I stroll into my bedroom to gather Olive. She is giggling and making all the weird sounds that babies enjoy making, whilst playing with a pair of my fuzzy Christmas socks.

“Baby Olive,” I smile sweetly and kneel down beside her. “Do not touch my fuzzy Christmas socks. They are very special to me.” I may have made my voice sound all sweet and kind, but I really just want to rip my socks out of her tiny grip because I’d be extremely angry if she got her baby saliva all over them.

I do not like other peoples saliva. Unless it’s Albus Potters. I’d fudging drink a bowl of his saliva. All right, I would never go that far. The point is, I’m obsessed with him.

I pick up Olive and we head over to our attic. She pulls my red hair with a goofy smile on her face. Why do babies love to pull hair? Especially mine. Is it because my hair is so beautiful? I’ll go with that.

I pull down the rope that is attached to the small door on the ceiling. I am just so amazed about a door on the ceiling, it makes me all giddy and smiley. Come on, a door on a ceiling? Fucking awesomeness.

Damn it, I’m too short to pull down the stairs! I run into Ozzie’s bedroom and steal his desk chair. He never uses it anyway. Actually, he never uses his desk! There’s currently food and candy wrappers and cans amongst his desk. Oh and a Playboy magazine. Cute.

My baby sister smiles at me when I come back into the hall with Ozzie’s chair. It’s like she really knows I’m stealing from our big brother. She loves when I pick on Ozzie and I know this because her cute brown eyes light up and she giggles. Then again, she always looks like that. I swear, she smiles in her sleep.

Oh my god, I do too. A Susie in the making! Ah, what a sweet day this is.

Anyways, I pull down the string to bring the door down after jumping onto my brothers chair. I turn around and look down at baby Olive with my lips pursed. “Olive, no funny business while I’m up in the attic.” She giggles in response.

“Oh! And if I don’t come back in ten minutes… that only means a ghost ate me. So tell mum and dad!” I smile at her and pull myself into the little square that lead me to my creepy and dusty attic. Why are attics so scary? What’s even the point of them?! It’s just like every horror film where the creepy ghost child haunts the family during the night but chills in the attic during the day. I’d only be okay with that if it was Casper.

I stand in my attic, scared out of my wits. I mean, I’m in a freaking sexy bikini in my attic. Whoa, Casper better not be checking me out right now. I’d totally slap him if my hand wouldn’t just go through his body. Damn.

I spot a gigantic box beside the only window up here. It has the words ‘Susie’s crap’ written on it by a sharpie. I bet a million bucks and a cute puppy that Ozzie wrote that.

I run to the box and rip it open without hesitation. Holy crap, look at all the clothes! I was such a fashionholic at the mere age of three months! Ew a spider just fell into the box.

“Die!” I yell before punching the huge spider with my fist. Oh yeah, I’m so brave. Embrace it.

I rummage in my old box and after about thirty seconds and flinging anything that wasn’t a bathing suit for Olive, I finally find a pretty white bathing suit with a cute pink baby cow printed on it. How adorbs! Olive will just love it; I probably did as a baby. I mean, it’s got ruffles at the bottom. Anything with ruffles is just magnificent.

I adventure back down to Olive. She’s playing with lint. Oh my god, she almost just put it up her nose!

“Olive! No! You cannot get all gross before the party!” I kneel down and start to dress her properly for the pool party. “Albus is going to fall for me tonight, baby Olive. Finally, my dreams will come true!” I smile widely and she grins at me.

Then blows a snot bubble. Oh yeah, we’re gonna be the life of the party, all right.

When I throw parties, I invite about twenty people. When the Potters throw parties, they invite about a hundred people.

Who invites this many people!? I mean, yeah their house IS gigantic, but boy do they love to show off.

I walk up the driveway with Olive in my arms. There is a teenage couple about to get it on in the front lawn. And other wacko people just standing in groups piss drunk. I even heard one of the blokes talking about how he peed in the bathroom sink and then shagged some girl who was dancing in her knickers.

I might just have a heart attack.

I travel to the front door but it opens before I even lay my hand on the knob. I look up with a hopeful expression, hoping it’s Albus coming to rescue me from the crazy drunk peeps on the front lawn. But nope, I’m greeted by my brothers sneer. How lovely.

“What took you so long?” He asks with an irritated look on his face.

I roll my eyes and reply, “I had to find a bathing suit for Olive. Where is the pool, anyway?! All I see are people drunk out of their minds talking about piss and shagging.”

Ozzie laughs and makes room for me to walk by him and into the Potter household. Oh my gosh, is this actually happening?! I’m going to give birth to a bleeding cow if Albus even LOOKS in my direction tonight.

I’ll be so mad if he doesn’t. Seriously.

I’m standing in what seems to be the living room. At least some people are in bathing suits in here! Well, skanky girls wearing bathing suits that look more like thongs. Whatever.

The skanky girls are either dancing grimy, snogging with a hot boy, or just talking stupid. I feel like Mia would be in this room if she was at this party.

I turn to Ozzie and he rolls his eyes at me before walking away. “The pool is downstairs. Come on.”


Olive pulls my red hair as we’re walking down the stairs and I almost scream in pain. “Olive,” I whisper whilst narrowing my eyes at her. She grins at me and I’m about to argue with her but I realize we finally got to the pool.

The room is gigantic, not to mention the underground pool as well! It can fit at least two hundred people in here. This is freaking insane.

Lovely, here is where all the psychos are. I can tell you exactly the type of person everyone is like just by looking at them. I’m serious, test me out!

The boy on the diving board who is tall, very muscular with dirty blond hair and pale skin is the cockiest one here. He slicks his hair back before winking at three giggly dumb girls who are dipping their toes in the water. They’re not actually in the pool, you see, because they don’t want to get their ‘perfect’ hair wet or mess up their makeup.

What kind of people do the Potter boys hang out with?! This is definitely Ozzie’s type of people.

I run to an empty table with Olive and sit her on my lap. She tries to get out of my grasp but no way in hell am I letting her on this ground. Knowing baby Olive, she’d totally crawl away without my acknowledgement and these buffoons would use her as a football.

“I don’t think we’ve met!” I hear a feminine voice say from behind me. I turn around and see my greeter. A redhead chick with freckles all around her nose and brown eyes. She’s wearing a red one piece bathing suit. I recognize her as Lily, Albus’ younger sister.

I smile warmly, grateful for someone to talk to that can actually speak words ( no offense Olive ).

“We haven’t! I’m Susie, I live across the street.” I move a stray piece of hair behind my ear nervously. If Lily dislikes me, it will only make the wedding day awkward.

Lily jumps up and down excitedly with a big smile on her face before sliding a white plastic chair beside me and sitting on it. “I’m Lily Potter!” We shake hands and oh god does she have a firm grip. And also dirty nail buds, I notice.

“I remember you now. You do live across the street! You have that hot brother with the pretty blue eyes.” Well… That’s just disgusting. My brother is a pig in my eyes.

My eyes widen. “Ew. But yes, Ozzie is my brother,” I say with a laugh. Lily notices baby Olive in my arms and stares at her with pure joy.

“Oh my gosh! Is this your baby? My parents mentioned you before but they never said you had a baby! She is adorable!” She coos over baby Olive and tickles her, which Olive giggles in response.

WHOAH! Her parents mentioned me!?


I cough awkwardly into my hand. “Uh, Lily, she’s my baby sister. Not mine. But thanks for the compliment, she is rather dashing,” I explain to her. Lily’s expression goes from joy to confusion to shock to pure embarrassment. I feel like only redheads can change their expressions so quickly. It’s a gift from God himself.

“Oh, wow. Wow! I am so embarrassed! I really didn’t mean - oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I just thought -”

“Lily, your face is SO red right now! What’d you do?” Lily and I both turn our heads to see the speaker. My face turns so red I must look like a tomato because Albus Potter, in nothing but grey swimming trunks, is standing before me. His hair shiny and wet and oh cheesecake, look at those abs! I want to lick them like ice cream.

“Nothing, Al.” Lily rolls her brown eyes at her brother. She looks at me with a side ways smile but I’m drooling. And staring at Albus Potter’s abs.

So. Freaking. Delicious. I. Must. Restrain. Myself. From. Attacking. Him.

Lily giggles loudly. “Albus, this is Susie. She lives across the street.” Albus grins at me and goes to shake my hand. I can only whimper and smile weakly. “I recognize you, we usually get the mail in the morning at the same time. Mail buddy!” He says with a laugh. HE HAS A NICKNAME FOR ME!? I have one for him too, but calling him ‘Love Of My Life’ might seem a tad too soon…

Lily grabs Olive from my lap to tickle her some more and I am so grateful for that because I am in such a coma right now I’m surprised I haven’t dropped her yet.

I finally croak out a “Hi” to Albus and he winks his gorgeous green eyes at me. “You coming in then, or what?” He says to me with a little smirk on his handsome perfect face.

Yep, I’m going to have a heart attack.





Here it is!!! Sorry it took SO long /: Real life sucks sometimes! Anyways, the second part is wicked good ;) please review!!

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