Well, unless it's enjoying awkward moments between other people - but not when I'm involved.
This was most certainly awkward, and I was most certainly involved.
'This' being the whole "You're preggers!" (worded better, of course!) thing, and Theo overhearing it by accident.
If this is the result you get from walking face first into a door, then I will never again do that.
Atleast, I will try to avoid it in the future.
"Please say something," I blurted out after a long silence. "You're making me uncomfortable!"
"I'm making you uncomfortable!?" Theo hissed, glancing at me, and giving a shudder. "Yeah, right."
I continued to watch him; ever since Healer McGrim had left the room - after many, many, many congratulations! - Theo had very quietly entered the room, and sat down in the chair next to my bed. Neither of us had said a word - probably too mortified with the entire situation.
I had tried, of course. But each time the words had never left my mouth - but I had thought them!
Well, kind of.
"It's not a big deal," I tried to say conversationally.
"NOT A BIG--" Theo exploded, looking outraged. "You're with child, and you're not even supposed to be involved with anyone!"
"I'm not!" I cried back at him, narrowing my eyes. "Stop being so dramatic!"
"But to become pregnant," Theo explained, as if it would be easier to deal with if he talked slowly. "You have to have sex with someone, and you--"
He fell silence, as I looked away.
"You haven't, right? Had sex, I mean."
"Apparently, I have," I said, shrugging.
"Oh my Lord," Theo gasped, covering his mouth with his hands.
"What?" I snapped, looking at him, as a blush started to form on my cheeks.
"It's Nicholas Rousseau, right? The father of the child, right?"
I think I vomited a bit in my mouth.
"OH EWW!" I screamed, slumping back against my pillows. "That's just... just... revolting."
"Why is it revolting? Workplace romances are very common among office workers, and the Ministry of Magic is sort of an office, right?"
I stared at the confused look on Theo's face, and I felt a bit sorry for him; he had no idea how far off he was.
"Theo," I sighed, folding my hands neatly in my lap. I looked down, and took a deep breath, before I could look up at him again. "There's something you need to know..."
~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~
I had no idea I led such a boring life, that it only took me fifteen minutes to tell it.
Well, I skipped the details, and just told the big picture. Mainly; Sirius, pregnancy, miscarriage, and my runaway-stunt (I didn't mention Sirius' mum, or the deal I had done with her, I just said 'I wanted to know my real father').
"You really are one of a kind, Susie Q," Theo said when I had finished. "You know that, right?"
"Sadly, yes," I said and tried to smile.
"So..." he said, leaning forward. "What are you going to do? Does Em know? What will you do, Susie?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I said, lifitng my hand to silence Theo and his questions, that never seemed to stop. "One question at the time, okay?"
"What will you do?" he asked at once.
"I don't know," I said, and shrugged. But when I looked at him, my answer was pretty clear.
"You're going to keep it," Theo said.
It wasn't a question, it was more of a statement. I bit my lip, as Theo took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I avoided his eyes, and concentrated on staring at the fake plastic skeleton hovering in the corner.
I never got to finish my sentence, because the door suddenly opened, and in waltzed a plump woman with dark ringlets, and the warmest deep brown eyes I had ever seen.
"Hello, Susan," she said sweetly, and I cringed at the fact that it wasn't annoying me to bits. "I'm Midwife Flow, Fiona Flow, and I'm here to answer your every question, support you with whatever choice you're going to make, and--" she blabbered on, but fell silent as she saw Theo, and our hands. "Oh. Well, hello, sir!" she said, nodding to him. "You must be super-super happy, huh?"
"Ecstatic," Theo said blankly, his thick brows pulling together. "Who the hell are you?"
"Midwife Flow, but just call me Flow," she said, scribbling something in her notebook. "How are we feeling, Susan?"
"What he said," I said, pulling away from Flow's reaching hand. "Ecstatic."
She wouldn't have any of that, of course. She firmly placed a warm hand on my shoulder, and gave it a gentle squeeze. I suddenly relaxed under her touch, and stared up at her heart-shaped face. "Don't worry, dear," she said softly, smiling at me. "Everything will be okay."
I gave a small nod, still confused.
Just who the fuck was this woman!?
"And the dad must be excited as well, I assume," she went on, smiling to Theo.
Theo almost had a heart attack, and he shoved my hand away so roughly that it let out a painful crack. I growled at him, as I massaged my wrist, Flow looking more confused than ever.
"I'm not... not... I'm not t-t-the... you know," Theo stammered, running a shaking hand through his hair. I looked at him with a hint of amusement, as he stumbled on his own words to explain himself. "I'm innocent!"
"He's not exactly the dad," I explained more smoothly, shrugging. "Well, he's not 'kind of' the dad, either... you know."
Flow blinked, and bit her lip. "Come again?"
"I'm alone," I said slowly, and stared back at Flow. "There is no dad. None. Nada."
"Oh," Flow said, and looked down at her notes. "Yes, yes, yes..."
I kind of felt sorry for the poor woman.
"Except that she's not alone," Theo put in, grabbing my hand again. "She has me."
There really was no limit with the confusion we caused, was there?
"She's confused, Theo," I said through gritted teeth.
"Well, you see," Theo began, trying to coem up with something intelligent to say. "She's a friend-- well, actually, she's my girlfriend's friend, no, wait, she's my ex-girlfriend's friend... old classmate, actually, too... and she--"
"ANYWAY!" I cut off, dreading the outcome of Theo's pointless babble. "The main point is, that he's my friend, nothing else."
"Nothing else," Flow repeated, her eyebrows raised. "That's something, though. Sometimes, that's just what you might need," she said with a tiny smile.
"What she said!" Theo said, giving me a proud grin.
"Why are you still talking?" I snapped at him. "So," I said, looking at Flow. "How do we go on from here? I mean... can I just go, and come back in nine months?"
~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~
I never thought I'd be one of those pathetic homo sapiens to actually get emotional by seeing my baby's heartbeat. Okay, so I didn't exactly start crying, but I did start hyperventilating so much that I got a hiccup. After drinking some kind of hiccup potion, though, it all went away, and I was left with my hyperventilation.
"This is it," I said, staring at the sonogram. I peered down at it, almost feeling sick again. I was aware of how Muggle sonograms looked like, but this... this was different. Apparently, magical sonograms actually moved - just like all of our pictures, too!
That was just creepy.
"That's it, then," Theo said, also looking at the picture. "Imagine - you're going to be a mom!"
I gave him a queasy look, grabbing my brown paperbag again.
"D'you think it's a boy or girl?" Theo asked, taking the picture from me, twisting it in his hands, trying to see it from different angles.
"A... a... girl," I gasped in between my calming breaths. "This w-world... doesn't need... another asshole..."
"That's real charming--" Theo began.
Both of us looked up, and saw my boss - my dad, my biological dad; Nicholas Rousseau - walk briskly down the corridor, followed by a few robed men, all of them looking grim.
"Shit," I said, the paperbag crumpling in my hands. "What is he doing here!?" I hissed to Theo, who gaped in astonishment.
"Quency," Mr R said, as he reached us. "What on earth are you doing--"
"Miss Quency," a Healer said, popping her head out from the examination room. "Midwife Flow is ready to set up a new appointment for your monthly check-up, so that you can discuss your birthplan."
All of us watched as the Healer disappeared again, none of us saying a word.
"I, um..." I began, standing up. "I need to have a birthplan... bye!" I said, quickly sneaking into the room, followed by a shocked looking Theo.
We both stared at each other, as the door closed behind us, my mind filled with all kinds of questions.
"Well," Theo said, swallowing. "That was real smooth."
I instinctly put a hand on my stomach, biting my lip. "I'm really fucked now, right?"
~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~
A/N: You should all have patience with me, I have not given up yet :)
- Lily xxx
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